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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
Coming to terms with the fact I'm probably ace, after years of trying to come up with excuses why I'm not
So first I was confused about people talking about celebrity crushes when I was a kid/young teenager because I never had any. I figured I just hadn't had one yet, or tried to convince myself that me noticing some actors/actresses were objectively conventionally actractive (though not actually being attracted to them) was a celebrity crush.
Then as a young teenager when plenty of peers talked about attraction and crushes, and I wasn't feeling anything, I figured I'm probably a late bloomer or something and it would come with time. I've had one crush in my life, back when I was 12, on a friend that I had known my whole life. And it was just super innocent things I thought, I wanted to hold hands, go to the park together, lie in the floor and listen to music together, or stargaze. As I got older, I attributed my lack of sexual attraction then to my age.
When I came out as trans at 14, from then on I attributed my lack of sexual attraction, or desire to do anything, to dysphoria.
My dysphoria eased with time but my desire did not increase.
As I got older still I attributed my lack of desire, especially the lack of a libido increase when starting testosterone, to my antidepressants I started at 15.
But when I stopped the antidepressants for several months in an attempt to wean off them, my desire and sexual attraction did not change.
Then I made the excuse that it was my top dysphoria that was standing in the way, and after top surgery I would be comfortable being intimate with someone. I got top surgery at 18 and surprise suprise, nothing changed in terms of sexual attraction or desire.
Then I thought, well maybe it's because of bottom dysphoria, but bottom dysphoria had calmed down and I had stopped wearing a packer everyday because I realised I was just wearing it because I felt like I should, not because I actually wanted to. I had thought maybe I'd want to have sex after bottom surgery, and I was planning on having a full hysterectomy and then phalloplasty and thank god I didn't because I finally took a breath and reevaluated my feelings for the first time since I started transitioning and realised I didn't even want either of those surgeries, and realised I may not even be a trans guy at all. But that's another story for another day.
One of my closest friends talks about sex and has a very sexual sense of humour and more often than not I just don't relate. Every once in awhile he'll ask a serious question about attraction and be quite confused about my complete lack of interest in the topic of sexual attraction because I'm out as bi. I find both men and women cute, don't want to have sex with either, but I've never spoken about this with my friends. As you can see from this post, it's something I've seemingly repressed for a long time. I guess because I was always told by my parents growing up that they will completely accept me no matter who I date whether it be a man or a woman, but overall society treats complete lack of sexual interest as a medical problem to treat so it feels wrong.
But anyway, now I'm 21 and my desire and attraction still has not changed. I get in the mood maybe once a month at most, but even when I do I have no desire to actually do anything with another person.
I think I've run out of excuses lol, I think I'm just ace.
https://redd.it/1jcpw4p
@asexualityonreddit
Just because I enjoyed Fast and Furious, doesn’t mean I want to throw a car of a cliff.
Just because I enjoy reading romantic/erotic fiction, doesn’t mean I want to throw myself of a cliff.
https://redd.it/1jcmapa
@asexualityonreddit
It's ok in fiction imo, but how do people ACTUALLY believe these tropes are ✨romantic✨???
https://redd.it/1jcklq7
@asexualityonreddit
just got told to turn straight
tw: aphobia, homophobia
i vented abt not being able to find a partner due to being an ace lesbian on reddit and someone replied and told me to just "compromise" and "force myself to stomach" being with a man and do sexual things
they also told me that i can "trade" sexualities and "turn straight"
and people upvoted their comment
im so done. i deleted the post but wtf.
https://redd.it/1jcgahh
@asexualityonreddit
aroace circles (geometry dash level) by me
https://redd.it/1jccv1x
@asexualityonreddit
am i asexual??
i’m currently in high school, going through what most teenagers go through. like, the whole boyfriends and girlfriends thing. all the people around me have boyfriends and girlfriends, and i’ve always known that i don’t really have a preference of gender. but i also realized, i have never felt actually attracted to anyone ever. in middle school id fake crushes to make friends with other people, but it was all fake. also, the thought of sex with anyone makes me feel sick. i have absolutely no desire to be with a man or woman sexually and the thought of it makes me extremely uncomfortable. any thoughts???
https://redd.it/1jccma9
@asexualityonreddit
Allo is not develop attractions after getting to know someone for a while?
So let me get this straight, It is a form of Aroace to develop attractions to someone after knowing them after a while?
You mean I am ..
https://redd.it/1jca39b
@asexualityonreddit
Questioning if I'm ace
Hey, I've been questioning if I'm asexual. I definitely fall onto the spectrum, and I think I'm aegosexual. Like I think about sex and Iread about it BUT I would never dream about doing it MYSELF with anyone. Like I imagine fictional characters and I'm like a spectator. Idk. The point is, do I count? Because I still do "stuff" by myself and my mother tells me that doesn't make me asexual. She thinks I'm trying to put myself in a box, I'm following a trend, or my older sibling (nb pansexual) I don't know what to do. Do I count still? I mean, aegosexual wouldn't be on the ace spectrum if it wasn't a real thing, right?
https://redd.it/1jbrklr
@asexualityonreddit
Spot the Pride Flags 😊
https://redd.it/1jc346n
@asexualityonreddit
Being aroace is killing me
Being aroace is fucking killing me man.
People my age are dating n getting in serious relationships & I'm stuck never feeling attraction.
I've never had butterflies. Never wanted to be in a relationship with a certain person. Never wanted to kiss a certain person. Spent years being a hopeless romantic aroace, & I've even lost all ability to be a hopeless romantic.
It doesn't help that my friend keeps talking about his crush. How she's pretty & that he loves her, how he's winning her over, all that shit. It feels like rubbing salt in a wound. I've been asked by 3 people if I have a crush on someone because I genuinely love them (platonically), & it feels like a punch in the gut being reminded of what I can't have. I can't make myself feel attraction so I'm stuck like this.
I'm touch starved & it makes me want to fucking rip my skin off. All I want is for someone to hold me in bed all night & tell me I'm gonna be okay. Hold hands with someone. Have someone to hold & hug. But who the fuck am I gonna ask, especially when everything is considered romantic nowadays? It hurts so bad. I feel like I'm rotting away from the inside
I can't breathe in fully, it feels like I have a hole in my chest & my body won't let me cry.
https://redd.it/1jbtsjq
@asexualityonreddit
I have legit headcannoned Wario as aroace for years.
https://redd.it/1jbxfiy
@asexualityonreddit
Is there a name for this type of sexuality....?
Is there a name or description for any sexuality where someone feels aroused by the possibility that they could have sex whenever attraction is reciprocated, even if they may or may not want to engage in sexual acts
And do y'all experience this type of attraction
https://redd.it/1jbvop0
@asexualityonreddit
What’s the most invalidating response you’ve ever received after coming out to somebody?
Hii this is my first time posting here and at first I didn’t know if I should post this but wth.
I’ll go first:
For one, I thought it was actually when I came out to my parents and they just said “…ok?”. We moved on and never spoke about the subject ever again (it’s been 10 years).
BUT I believe today takes the cake. I was talking to a professor I do student hours for and, one thing led to another, I came out to him as biromantic ace. And he said… “I just don’t think that is it, you know? I consider you look so feminine and have this charm about you.” Like I’m sorry what??? I was so stunned I literally could only awkwardly smile and think to myself what in carnation is this dude even saying… and then I went to explain how that had absolutely nothing to do with it, etc.
Ofc I’m pretty sure he still thinks I’m confused or something even after explaining the whole concept to him but whatever. Never again lol.
https://redd.it/1jbogbd
@asexualityonreddit
My aunt found me the perfect man...
https://redd.it/1jbifnk
@asexualityonreddit
My aunt found me the perfect man....
https://redd.it/1jbidjy
@asexualityonreddit
kissed a girl i thought i liked and felt nothing?
So I've been friends with this girl for about a year (I'm also a girl btw, we're both in our 20s) and the entire time there's been this flirty vibe between us. I always went along with it because I thought I was into it, but we never really did anything about it. We kept getting flirtier and flirtier until last night, we cuddled while watching a movie. I really enjoyed cuddling with her and I felt really nice. but then she started kissing me and i felt... nothing. Like, I really didn't like it. I was too shocked about it to tell her and we left kind of in this liminal space of we're probably dating but we haven't communicated about it yet. I'm really nervous. Did I not like her? I've identified as ace since high school cause I don't get physically attracted to other people and I also hardly get crushes. I can't tell if maybe I've overhyped a potential relationship with this girl for so long that maybe it was all in my head? or maybe it's just an asexual thing that I have to accept. I've kissed people before, but never romantically, so I've never gotten the 'butterflies' that people talk about. I feel like I need to decide what this means ASAP so I can communicate with her and either let her down easy or tell her the kind of relationship I need in order for us to work. Send help!
In an entirely separate note, me and this girl are in the same friendgroup and everyone has been rooting/waiting for us to get together. If i really don't like her, how do I get myself out of this situation without destroying my friendgroup? I feel so shitty.
https://redd.it/1jcnyin
@asexualityonreddit
am I asexual/in the spectrum?
Ive been wondering for a while whether or not I’m asexual. For me, sexual activities can be enjoyable but not for sexual reasons, I enjoy the closeness of the act while not enjoying the acts themselves, or I enjoy knowing I make my partner feel good. I don’t have much/any desire to be sexual with my partner, and if it wasn’t something she wanted I could honestly go my whole life without ever doing anything sexual again.
https://redd.it/1jcm8mw
@asexualityonreddit
Flag Questionnaire
Hey people,
i recently stumbled upon a survey Ashabi from @ aceingrace on instagram did and since i haven’t seen it anywhere else i wanted to put it here. here’s the link to the questionnaire: https://survey.typeform.com/to/EeIgyMXK
a bit of background info: some time ago the topic of the white stripe in the flag and its meaning came up and a lot of people who answered the survey didn’t like its meaning. (the white stripe stands for ‚Sexuals, especially allo partners of ace people & allies‘)
so yeah a lot of people where bothered with that meaning. So Ashabi started the questionnaire after talking to people from the AVEN board, to make the flag more inclusive and change the meaning of the white stripe.
here’s their most recent post about the current situation on the questionnaire: https://www.instagram.com/p/DHMg3SPP15v
https://redd.it/1jcj2ke
@asexualityonreddit
I came out to my mom
https://redd.it/1jcfz6j
@asexualityonreddit
Asexual partner
Hi, for reference I (19F) am someone with a very high sex drive and I’m dating a girl (19F) with a very low sex drive and she has recently been questioning if she is a sex indifferent asexual. Sometimes I get a little insecure about it and sometimes I feel like she doesn’t find me attractive even though she reassures me all the time, and I’m actively working on this. I want to be a supportive partner to her so I thought it would be best to ask other asexuals how they would like their partner to treat their asexuality. I want to be the best partner I can be for her. I genuinely want to marry this girl, my priorities do not lie in sex and I would still want to be with her even if she never wanted to have sex ever again. But I also don’t know how exactly to support her with this because I don’t really know how it feels. I am also seeking advice from people who are not asexual that also have an asexual partner. Thanks so much!! I just want to make her happy :) btw she read this post I am not doing this behind her back :)
https://redd.it/1jcdme8
@asexualityonreddit
Wanna smash? Wait- NO, NOT THAT!
https://redd.it/1jc0hee
@asexualityonreddit
What am I?
Hello I’ve been questioning myself for a long time, I never see myself in relationships or have an interest in them and I don’t like psychical touch either it just kinda disgusts me 🥲
https://redd.it/1jc9q47
@asexualityonreddit
How do I talk to him
Basically there's this guy I like at school who sitting next to me and who's also asexual like me, but I don't know how to get closer to him.
We've been sitting together for half a month and we've become kinda friends, talking about anime, playing online games during lessons, talking about asexuality experiences and random things that happened to us and I feel like if I don't take my chance now I'll lose it. Also he has a sort of crush on another girl from another class, but it doesn't seem like he's going to make any moves also because I think he gave her the ick. I just want to find an excuse to start talking to him in private chat and eventually push him to ask me out. What do I do??
https://redd.it/1jc52tr
@asexualityonreddit
Just Learn A New Attraction!
I am not sure if it is okay to post this here
But recently I just learn about alterous attraction! And I never felt so relatable to this label about wanting to be close with people but never in a romantic way or less than that.
I am not sure if this still considers to me as a Aromantic individual. But I am just happy that there’s so many ways for people to love one another without the difficulty of just having romantic feelings and platonic feelings! :D
https://redd.it/1jc24mu
@asexualityonreddit
What am I?
Hello. I (18ftm) knew I was on the ace spectrum for ages. I thought I was demisexual, which I maybe am but I'm not sure. I know for sure I couldn't sleep with someone who I don't have a strong emotional bond to, but my friend asked me "if you loved someone, would you do it for them, or because you would want it?" And the thing is, I would do it for them. Even when I imagined doing it, she never did anything to me, I did the work and I honestly don't want anybody touching me there. Does it sound like demisexual or something different? Thank you for your answers, Matty.
https://redd.it/1jbz476
@asexualityonreddit
how do u guys deal with having an allosexual partner?
ace girlie here but my partner is not. obviously i love him very much but hes mentioned wanting to take things to the next step(not intercourse just other sexual acts). he knows i’m asexual and would never pressure me into doing anything i don’t wanna do, but i still can’t fight this feeling that im disappointing him.
how do u learn to live with that feeling? does it ever get better?
https://redd.it/1jbv4e8
@asexualityonreddit
got myself an ace ring! :D
https://redd.it/1jbn8am
@asexualityonreddit
Podcast -- Yes, Asexuality Is Real & Legitimate: Dr. Seth INTERVIEW with...
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9aXYAT-eZNQ&si=QqcYoOvhEi7B0gKl
https://redd.it/1jbmmxx
@asexualityonreddit
I think it fits
https://redd.it/1jbgakm
@asexualityonreddit
sexual flag
https://redd.it/1jbaiah
@asexualityonreddit