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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
Thanks for coming to my TedTalk
https://redd.it/1jo6l79
@asexualityonreddit
Do we have "ace culture?"
I feel like use ace people don't really have like our stereotypical music or activities (other than the garlic bread/cake thing). Like how bi people have grandpa sweaters and Harry styles, and trans people being inexplicably linked to hyper pop. Just silly things, or behaviors ace people have.
https://redd.it/1jo74wb
@asexualityonreddit
Am I the one in the wrong here
https://redd.it/1jo3vrr
@asexualityonreddit
We're at 1k aros on this sub!
https://redd.it/1jo2jts
@asexualityonreddit
It is Monday in my time zone, my dudes
https://redd.it/1jny2wl
@asexualityonreddit
What do I do to stop people from sexualizing me?
I am a teenager and identify as nonbinary. My sexuality is a little confusing right now as I absolutely ha te the thought of being in a relationship or having sex with anyone-but I'm okay with adult content. I've been telling this to my friends, excluding the part of how I dislike sex--because I'm okay with adult content, and I just figured I was like aromantic or something. (I don't say it a lot, just when they ask me).
Okay that was just an overview. NOW to what's been happening.
My friends know I've been a little confused on my sexuality, and this one friend in particular keeps sexualizing me and I absolutely hate it. He says thing like "that ass is so thick" or "why won't you have sex with me? Am I not girly enough?"
Side note: this guy, who keeps saying this, claims he is trans, asexual, and depressed. I don't want to seem like I'm just dismissing this--but he keeps doing stuff that contradicts that...
Ok, now to continue. Recently on Valentine's Day I gave him a card and some candy because I knew he was depressed and wanted to help (I was still tolerating him at this point). Later, at a party, he came up real close to me and asked me if I would have sex with him. OBVIOUSLY, I refused. As nicely as I could, saying stuff like "oh not with friends," or "aren't you asexual?" And then, he continued (knowing I like girls more than guys) saying "what am I not feminine enough? Is it because I'm trans?"
I felt so disgusted when he said that, and felt so dirty too. I had already told him I hated when people commented on my body and he just continued. Of course, I stopped talking to him and just tried to cut him off naturally. Everything was fine.
UNTIL. Recently, where we both went to a party. I was having a great time, hanging with my friends. But he came and hung out as well. I didn't want to seem awkward so I just let him come along and didn't make drama. So... later on he keeps making subtle comments like "your so fat eating a pizza like that." Or "there's one person here who I'm not on good terms with proceeds to stare at me."
Later , my friends had invited me into a pool and I reluctantly went in. I didn't have a swimming suit, and I hated it when I couldn't go in without trunks. My friend lets me look through her drawer to find one. I took a full body because I wanted to cover up the most amount of skin. It was a tad bit to small for me, exposing a little of my chest. (Which I hated...but I didnt want to ruin the fun). I go into the pool and my friends start signing with me (I'm deaf and use cochlear implants, so I took them off to go in). He, of course, goes and signs to me VERY poorly: I want fuck you, you and I should have kids together, your boobs are big... stuff like that.
I go home and I absolute am livid with him. My question is, how to do I get him to stop? I really don't want to cause drama but I seriously cannot stand it anymore.
Thank you for reading this really long post 😭😭
https://redd.it/1jnwb69
@asexualityonreddit
It’s not my best work, but I handmade an ace flag from scratch
https://redd.it/1jnv1do
@asexualityonreddit
The best response?
Hi asexual reddit! I have a light hearted question. What's your best response to the asexual bogeyphrase:
"You haven't met the right person yet."
Whenever you let anyone know you're ace.
Thanks 🤨
https://redd.it/1jnribb
@asexualityonreddit
After 10 years, I finally figured it out...
I'm an ace guy.
Not a NiceGuy™.
I think I've had a habit of befriending avoidant, heterosexual women over the years without realizing it.
Today, as part of a conversation where I was ending a friendship with a female friend, I addressed the recent streak of ways in which she behaved in a callous or dismissive manner towards me.
Specifically, I highlighted her blame shifting and non-applogetic apologies.
During our 40min conversation, we finally got to the crux of the matter.
Twice this recent winter, I made soup for her and her roommates when she invited me to their house to watch a movie.
She believed mistakenly that cooking for them was something I intended as a romantic gesture.
So, as a way to let me know she wasn't romantically interested in me without having to confront me about it, she thought behaving in a consistently disrespectful or dismissive manner would get my "unrequited feelings" to change.
I'm glad we were able to have that resolution before I ended our friendship today. It gave us both something to think about.
She's in therapy and trying to have better relationships with people. Today, she discovered that if she has doubts and concerns with a male friend, she can just be open..and ask.
And today, I finally solved a lingering puzzle of why some women I've ended friendships with were really nice for a while and suddenly cold, dismissive, or mean.
Because I have no sexual or romantic interest in them, I am considered "safe". And because they are afraid of romantic contact, I subconsciously perceive them as "safe" too.
But as our friendship matures, I become more open and generous than I would with a more casual friend.
And--until today--I didn't know that this upsets the balance.
As a maladaptive coping mechanism, they learned to associate that men who are kind or warm to them must have suspicious and harmful intentions.
If they develop feelings, my closeness to them can be perceived as a vector of harm. They fear I will discover how "rotten" they are.
If they mistakenly believe that I have sexual or romantic feelings for them, then I once again can be perceived as a vector of harm. There's something wrong with me if I desire them.
Once I was perceived too generous by making soup, my friend panicked and defended herself the only way she knew how--by acting cold, mean, and dismissive towards me to make me go away.
I now, finally understand the disconcerting experiences I've had with some women over the years.
I'm ace.
And I keep choosing avoidant people who make me feel safe as an ace man.
https://redd.it/1jnqcea
@asexualityonreddit
I drew this ace bunny girl for ace week a while back
https://redd.it/1jnizpp
@asexualityonreddit
I Loathe My Asexuality
If I could change anything, absolutely anything about myself, I would take my asexuality, rip it out, and stop all over it. I feel like I'm being punished for something. Like I did something horrible, and this is my punishment.
I decided to start dating because I really want a partner. Dating asexuals seems like a pipe dream, so I signed up for a "normal" dating app and met a super nice straight guy. We haven't done anything yet, but last time I saw him, we were making out, and I felt absolutely disgusted. I almost started crying. Obviously nothing to do with him. I thought I would be okay with it, but it made me realize I don't want that at all. And if I'm being honest with myself, I don't want sex at all. And I realized that I'm gonna have to do that at some point. I have to give that to him. And I want to just make myself do it, but I know I'm gonna hate it. And how can I give him what he wants if I don't have pleasure from it? And let me make this clear he is super supportive and wouldn't make me do anything, but I feel like I have to make myself do this. I have to be able to push myself beyond this, or I will be alone forever.
It just makes me absolutely hate myself because I have to do something I don't want. But he said he has a pretty high libido, and the idea of having sex more than once a week makes me want to hurl. I refuse to be alone forever. I refuse. And the price for that is being untrue to who I am. How can this be fair? How can this be my life? Why can't I just be allo? I hate myself so much.
https://redd.it/1jnems4
@asexualityonreddit
Appropriate response tbh
https://redd.it/1jne1at
@asexualityonreddit
We need to stop humoring Incels' self-proclaimed definition
This is more just word vomit and border terms, but I wanted to ramble about it as it's been bugging me for a while. If anyone has more accurate information on the topic, please link it.
"Incel" stopped being a shorthand for "Involuntary Celibate" a long time ago. Ironically, the term was coined by a woman, but the manosphere ran her out because "women can choose to have intercourse whenever they want"
Incels have become a broader cultural movement, embodying much of modern-day misogyny. I remember the Incel movement had an internal meltdown because a major leader got himself a girlfriend. Ironically, some incels took it as a betrayal and acted like he should have voluntarily remained celibate.
As for that leader who got himself a girlfriend - He is still an incel. He had not been "cleansed" because he did one act and didn't technically meet the defunct definition. Being an Incel is a serious accusation of harmful beliefs, and people shouldn't be able to easily wriggle out of it. You aren't magically "cured" of racism or homophobia if you kiss one member of a marginalised group.
Due to mainstream humouring the old incel definition, it has led to a new wave of virgin shaming. There are cases of innocent people being accused of horrible sexism without any basis. Allosexuals who were always minding their own business or asexuals for simply existing. In the mainstream attempts to rightfully combat incels, it can go too far the other way - Unintended pressure to have sex or it's assumed you to have something mortally wrong with you.
https://redd.it/1jnaryq
@asexualityonreddit
Can you be asexual and still get aroused?
20 something male here. I don't like dating, don't like the idea of having sex with guys anymore. I rarely ever fantasize about an old partner or when I see someone on the street. I just lost all interest to have sex with someone.
But I still get aroused when I'm by myself. Not all the time, but when I'm watching adult content or just pleasuring myself. Does that happen to some of you?
Trust me, I could not be clearer on my lack of sexual attraction towards people. It just became so lackluster and unappealing to me. But I still get aroused and am able to normal sexual pleasure. Idk, just felt like sharing it.
https://redd.it/1jhhgvk
@asexualityonreddit
I think i know why i doubt so much.
I have been having, a rough day. And i dont really want to vent so much abt it when it here, and if i do im sorry.
I just have a feeling that i know why i keep on doubting so much abt it. It starting to annoy me a bit, and i feel like letting this out.
I cant tell what attraction i always feel, its always blurry and just hard to understand.
I keep having like…a strong attraction. It feels like i would think its sexual attraction, but it doesnt feel right to call it that way. It feels very off. Ppl always say its an urge to have sex with someone, but idk if i ever had any urge for someone like that.
Maybe i do, but in a different way?!!
Like, its not sex. Its something else, idk what it is really..
I would try and imagine how sexual attraction feel, i try putting it in my head. But instead of sex, its just make out. Thats all i can think of. But there are no penetration, nothing very sexual. Just this.
So anytime someone describes sexual attraction to me, i would only think of make outs rather than sex. Its kinda weird.
I dont really imagine ppl with clothes off. I tried it before, i would find a person admiring, but i dont want to touch the naked body in a sexual manner. It doesnt really put me into any other feelings.
I have sensual thoughts ( their kinda arousing, ) but there would be an instinct where my brain just makes it sexual, without me thinking abt it. I feel like its bc of my arousal doing this, and might made my brain assuming that i wanted sexual thoughts????
IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT.
Its just, not enjoyable, i tried thinking it positively, but its the same whether i try to change the situation, characters, anything. It feels the same.
It also sometimes feel like im forcing myself not to enjoy it, but idk why. What caused me to do all of this?
I never exactly assumed that sexual thoughts were ‘’ wrong ‘’ as ppl suggested me. Its just feels… disturbing.
Im a bit scared.. scared that im forcing not to like something. Maybe i did like it, and i was just ashamed????
So i would try an change it again to see if i liked it, but i still dont.
Idk if what it is, what im feeling. Its there, but its not like how ppl describe it.
Idk what im doing. Its just that, sometimes, writing makes me feel better. I dont want reassurance, none this Will help at all in this situation.
I just want to let this out ig.
Idk if anyone relates to this, but if it does, i Hope it made you feel less alone.
https://redd.it/1jhdgba
@asexualityonreddit
Only Likes Sex in Theory
When I see an actor or actress that I find attractive, I’m able to feel some kind of (what I assume to be) sexual attraction. But as I’ve tried dating and meeting people irl, I have never once truly felt sexually attracted to them. I may like being around them and spending time with them, but I don’t feel like I’d say I’m sexually attracted, even with the people I’ve had sex with. I honestly feel like I’d be fine never having sex again. I love reading romance novels or other romance media, but I have never felt what I do while reading/watching tv, movies, etc. in real life situations. I’ve always joked that I like the idea of sex in theory, but never in practice. At 28, it’s not seeming like much of a joke anymore!
I’m currently seeing someone, and even after having sex with them, I really don’t feel much sexual attraction to them. I like hanging out with him, as we have a lot in common, but he is always the one to initiate anything intimate/sexual (mostly because I’d be fine just hanging out and not doing anything more). Should I just end things now? I always find myself in relationships where the other person feels more for me than I do for them, and it just doesn’t seem fair when I can’t fully reciprocate. I feel like being single is my best option, because then there isn’t any sexual obligations I feel I need to keep up with when I’m seeing people.
Has anyone felt similarly to this?? Is this asexuality?
https://redd.it/1jo2ags
@asexualityonreddit
How do we feel about this asexuals
https://redd.it/1jo5yjj
@asexualityonreddit
Asexual relationship in India
Hey
I am 22 years old asexual male. I have planned to stay alone for my whole life. But now I am getting depression.
So now i want a asexual (F) Friends of my age for relationship. I am really caring, supportive and a good listener.
Can someone tell me some good dating sites or support group or how to find asexual individuas. Really want someone's company.
And also if possible give your opinion related to above situation.
https://redd.it/1jo1alj
@asexualityonreddit
*-*
https://redd.it/1jnzn6p
@asexualityonreddit
I hurt their feelings, but am I right to feel hurt too?
https://redd.it/1jnvtgd
@asexualityonreddit
What are things that the ace community has "claimed" or are big memes? Like garlic bread and cake
Just what the title says. What are some other things associated or claimed by the ace community? I vaguely remember a snail or maybe turtle being something else
https://redd.it/1jntwa9
@asexualityonreddit
ex told me i'd be a whore if i wasn't asexual...?
near the end of our relationship (we both had problems but i think we were incompatible in some ways as well.) he said i'd be a whore [and then more disgusting explicit things\] if i wasn't asexual, which is just laughable because im aro-ace and he thought that saying this would anger me. I'm not angry, it's just ridiculous because he's my first and i've never done anything with other person before. also, he didn't like my friends mentioning their body count or vague sexual experiences before (i never knew the explicit details, but i understand some people have stricter boundaries) and did not understand that these long time friendships were purely platonic and i had never done anything sexual with them. he also tried to say that all my friends would leave me one day because i was supposedly toxic and manipulative but they all stayed and defended me. its over and we both have problems but sometimes i wonder how he thought.
https://redd.it/1jnumq2
@asexualityonreddit
I'm not AroAce but I found this thing in Walmart that reminded me of the aroace flag
https://redd.it/1jnnc41
@asexualityonreddit
"Your body's mine now" and other horrible long term sexual relationship quotes
Most horrible things people have said to me in a straight relationship, while I was unaware of being asexual in my 20s
-"Your body's mine now grin " (4 years into a sexual relationship)
-"Would you like to have a shower with me? Bah you're an asexual." (After they broke up with me and still tried to have sex)
-"We broke up.. I thought the sex was boring" (a year in and on our break)
-"- pure rage-" (after getting to know me and me having to tell them I'm not interested in that way and by the way I'm asexual)
https://redd.it/1jnprsn
@asexualityonreddit
I got high and ended up in a cuddle session with one of my best friends
For clarification: We were in legal territory for Marijuana usage. No crimes were committed.
Last week, a small group of my friends went to a city in The Netherlands for a school project. I won't bore you with unnecessary details, all you need to understand is that we went out that night, and we walked past a coffeeshop where I bought an edible. I was unsure of the effects since my last attempt had zero effect, but I knew I would have my friends to keep an eye on me in case thigs would go bad.
When the weed began kicking in, I felt a wave of relaxation go through my body. I ended up sitting there on a couch halfway pulled into a different world, and suddenly, one of my friends (let's call her Melanie) leaned towards me for a hug, which isn't all too unusual in our friend group, but got so comfy that we ended up sitting there together for a full 5 minutes or so holding each other by the hip and shoulder, carassing her hair, putting my head softly on her shoulder, and it was genuinely heavenly! It felt like I wasn't there just because someone begrudgingly allowed me to, it felt like my presence there made Melanie happy, and also the other way around. She trusted me with touching her in a way that she wouldn't with other people. It's one of the few memories I have of truly living in the moment, and that feels all the more special when shared so fondly with someone else.
Now, I have absolutely no romantic feelings for Melanie, but I do think she's very cute in a platonic sense and I don't mind that she's the one who I ended up having this bizarre yet mesmerizing exchange with. I also feel that having done it while high showed some more honesty, as for other men, it would've been an ideal opportunity to grab her inappropriately, proving that I don't have any urge to do that even when all my self control is lost. She offered it herself, and I used it as a way of showing my gratitude of having her in my life while still taking physical pleasure from it. I don't think that's a selfish thing to do.
Maybe I'm making a far bigger deal out of it than it really is, but I have been touch-starved for so many years, and I'm just so relieved to have finally done it with someone so dear to me. I don't even feel like making it a regular thing. Just having done it was a tremendous experience and it's made me so much happier. Thank you, Melanie ♥️
https://redd.it/1jnnoyi
@asexualityonreddit
Anyone else just hate advertising in society?
I can’t just scroll YouTube or anything without seeing an add for a mobile game or skin care product with some lady wearing exposing clothing who just so happens to be conventionally attractive and by some coincidence the camera is focused on her attractive parts. Also side note why is it never men?
Edit:
I mean specifically like the sexualized ads. Are people actually attracted to that? Might have to go take a gander to r/ask…
https://redd.it/1jng1xf
@asexualityonreddit
IM IN A QPR!!!
So I finally had the talk with my roommate. They have been my friend since we were children. I would always refer to them as my spouse because we always joked that we were married. We’ve always been really close. I asked them if we were in an official QPR. And we agreed that we were. I’m officially taken now. We’re not 100% sure what that means for us yet. We’re gonna discover for ourselves what our QPR is. I’ve always loved them. But I never understood it because it wasn’t a romantic love. I never wanted to kiss them or have sex with them. But I loved them more than a friend. They are also aroace so it’s perfect. If we ever decide to go further in the intimacy side of things we will do it together. But I just want to spend the rest of my life with them. We’ve even talked about getting married and moving to Oregon. But that would have to be later down in the line lol. I would normally say we’d be rushing it but we’ve known each other for so long. We just love each other very much.
https://redd.it/1jnd785
@asexualityonreddit
trying to write romantic relationships
https://redd.it/1jhhuqr
@asexualityonreddit
New lore just dropped, aces don't like rats?
https://redd.it/1jhdsnq
@asexualityonreddit
Is This True?
https://redd.it/1jhc4m6
@asexualityonreddit