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Legal Cat Advice

Henlo & Need sooo, home inbasion

Henlo frens, is us, Brother, Black Kitty, and Sammy. We used to be outside kitties, but we dopt a family and now we garage kitties. Our staff provide us with wet food, dry food, water, bockses, medicine for the eyebs, a comfy attick, litterbox, silvervine, pets etc. Being human, they unable to feed themselves, so we provide them mices, rats, squirrels, voles, and bunnies. For the last 6 months everything going good. Warm garage, lots of pets for Brother, some pets for Black Kitty (Sammy no like pets), and peaceful coexist with staff.

But then, one night, couple weeks ago, masky intruder inbade our home. Knock over de food depenser, dump out the liturbox trash, and wash paws in our water bowls. It came in at night when we was in the garage, so we left and slep outside. In the morning staff see us outside, say oh look, the kittehs all outside. Now staff, they good at love us but they very simple. Not realize if we in the yard in the morning is a reason.

A couple nights later, this hap again. One dis time, intruder brought masky kitts. The kits more ridec...redic... causing more problems than the big one, dumping over the water fountain, get in floor bocksus, and EAT into the Treat comptainer and eat All The Treats!

Staff still not catch on. Them say how is this water getting soo dirty? They even say maybe Brother stepping or playing in water. We not get offended with this, theye're trying their best to figure it out with with little senses, doing best they can, poor humns.

This go on a few more nights until the other day, senior staff both in garage. Curvy one point in dust and say hey look, you think that a rakoon print?

Staff say very sorry to kittehs and say they order new garage cat door with no rakoon opens right away. Then they put dry food outside garage and refil water more often. Rakoon adult come back but no bring the kitts.

Who we see about a Soo for home inbasion? And who we soo? Staff, rakoons, old cat door with no rakoon blocker? Anyone else?

Brother (8m), Black Kitty (4f), and Sammy (12m) garage kittehs

https://redd.it/1uy7ifm
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Legal Cat Advice

Statchu of lemontashun for salamander soo?! Dis is worse case I eber seen! (Not safe for illegal smols)

https://redd.it/1uy09kc
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Legal Cat Advice

Why is hoomans so dum
https://redd.it/1uxul3c
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Legal Cat Advice

I did Mai bery firs crime toodae!!

https://redd.it/1uxnanz
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Legal Cat Advice

I tinks I must soo for salamander
https://redd.it/1ux7sl1
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Legal Cat Advice

am squiireal. ask mee anythin
https://redd.it/1ux5x5o
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Legal Cat Advice

Noba Skosha Wedder and News

https://redd.it/1uwn9z0
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Legal Cat Advice

SOO DA CORPAWRATIONS
https://redd.it/1uwqs9v
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Legal Cat Advice

Did Crimez, Need Pawyer!
https://redd.it/1uwnxye
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Legal Cat Advice

Must sue brother for saying: “Coal you don’t need to sharpen your claws, if they were any sharper we’re going to have to change your name to Freddy Krueger.” I don’t know how that is but it sounded mean.
https://redd.it/1uwjpyi
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Legal Cat Advice

My meowmy iz on her "ladee daze" an wunt stawp huging mee

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Legal Cat Advice

Iz 1 tomorow. What crimbs tu do before then?
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Legal Cat Advice

SHE NEBBER LEAVING??????
https://redd.it/1unzw0k
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Legal Cat Advice

Meowmy say BAD ting

Today ai, Murray 11M, ask berry polite fur mai supper. Meowmy iz in kitchen to fix herm supper so ai know it time.

Herm say “Murray, it is not time for your supper. You had a snack. You will have your supper in about 30 minutes.”

Dis iz outrage. Herm iz haz supper. Why ai haz to do a wait?! So ai remind herm dat if herm haz fud den ai haz fud. She not listen so ai sing song ob peebles.

Den … DEN … (and mebbe illegal smols not read) herm say DIS:

“I do not have to do what you say, Murray. Because you are a cat and I am a people.”

Frens, ai haz no meowsez. Ai need pawyer and ai fink mebbe dis a claws-action soo-it! What she mean dat mebbe hoomin outrank a cat?

https://redd.it/1unskec
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Legal Cat Advice

Happie Pendence Day to Americat frens! also skaiboom refyuje veilabul if anyon ned

Happie Pendence Day frens ober Oyshun! Yours is a wonderful Neyshun of freedom-loving peples and Animuls, bwst wishes for 250 Birfdey!

Ai know it late, but ai cans stil akomodate frens hu need sheltur from Skaibooms. Wev got qwait plas for meny to nap, fuds and drinks an litteral bokses an all eminities.
For frens whoms allowed oussaid thers gardun, and for indo frens ai do deliveries from main mouse-celar!

Ai kan no hab pitcher of me wering the You-Essay outfit, bot mebbe do Berrni almost9F

https://redd.it/1uno2vc
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Legal Cat Advice

UPDATE- de nu bed cam. Itz haz AUTO PETZ. Dis iz soo much better dan b4. Soo de hooman fur not bying dis auto pets bed b4.

https://redd.it/1uy8yei
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Legal Cat Advice

Hooman iz doin meow n evicshun! Need pawyer for injunckshun. Stop meowz evickshun! 😾

https://redd.it/1uy0hy7
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Legal Cat Advice

It me, Tink. I soos for dis gecko to hop in MAI MOUF. ok is only little one, who care.
https://redd.it/1uxuv34
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Legal Cat Advice

Ai skream to get dopted
https://redd.it/1uxdy66
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Legal Cat Advice

Gotcha day pawty fo M&M&H
https://redd.it/1ux5t71
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Legal Cat Advice

Noo crimez!
https://redd.it/1ux2ulf
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Legal Cat Advice

Birb fren needs tu soo
https://redd.it/1uwr38n
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Legal Cat Advice

Deep thots wiff Dean
https://redd.it/1uwskzt
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Legal Cat Advice

Ha ha Ai do bite crimez!

https://redd.it/1uwl29d
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Legal Cat Advice

Tank you frens for gud advice

hello all my frens

i tell Mama wut to do after I read your gud advice. She is dum dum but lubs me so much. so she werk and werk and den??? Me and Mousie are bak toggedder agin. Mai beoutiful fren Mousie is comfy and safe agin.

I am bery hapy catto and say tank yoo all my frens

https://preview.redd.it/ejfa7e8009dh1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2468127ddea6a2817b13c99f0435718c346a617



https://redd.it/1uwizdt
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Legal Cat Advice

Sop for big pepperoni

https://redd.it/1uwdeue
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Legal Cat Advice

Strange creatures are eating the food that belongs to my outdoor friends. I must sue!

https://redd.it/1unxfgk
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Legal Cat Advice

Anyone ever do shoelace crimes?

https://redd.it/1unxku4
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Legal Cat Advice

Happy Fort ob Jolie ebberyone!
https://redd.it/1unru4d
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Legal Cat Advice

Meowmy admit dat she drugged me again! Need a retraining order!
https://redd.it/1unmmmv
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