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Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
SLPT: See a woman’s drink get spiked in the club? Rush over there and chug her drink. Save a woman from being roofied and get a free high!
https://redd.it/1dt1awi
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Want to avoid interruptions while working? Put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door and a “Free Wi-Fi” sign outside. Everyone loves free Wi-Fi!
https://redd.it/1dsyvm3
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Want to become a morning person without changing your sleep schedule? Set your alarm for midnight and tell everyone you’re “on a different time zone.” They’ll think you’re ahead of the curve!
https://redd.it/1dssj8l
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Never learn how to cook food to actually taste decent, never gain the weight from getting second and third helpings
https://redd.it/1dsoylq
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Are you tired of taking several medications every day? Save time by taking them all on the first day of each month
https://redd.it/1dslzw6
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Hate grocery shopping? Simply move in with your parents and enjoy free food forever!
https://redd.it/1ds9cjz
@prolifetipss
SLPT: if youre lecturing someone about your religious views, make sure you answer their questions, if they don’t ask questions, it means they want to hear you lecture more
https://redd.it/1ds7dgi
@prolifetipss
SLPT this is just genius
https://redd.it/1ds4dim
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If someone asks your name, give them a fake one. If they later start using your real name, you'll know they are stalking you.
https://redd.it/1ds1xwz
@prolifetipss
SLPT : Sick of your old clothes? Just layer them on top of each other until your wardrobe becomes a fashionable fortress. Who needs closets anyway?
https://redd.it/1drok3b
@prolifetipss
SLPT : Tired of running out of toilet paper? Use sandpaper instead for a long-lasting wipe!
https://redd.it/1drgvuu
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you totally need to pull an all nighter, take 10mg melatonin and sleep for 2 hours.
This will really fuck your circadian rhythms up and your body won't produce melatonin soon enough to ruin your study / work session. Also your brain will clean itself from adenosine so you will no longer feel tired. None of this is fact checked, i am not a medical professional, ymmv, source : trust me bro.
https://redd.it/1dr87t1
@prolifetipss
SLPT: I'm feeling brave today
https://redd.it/1dqoxtv
@prolifetipss
SLPT: When life gives you lemons, what would you do
First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say “I love you,” the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won’t have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the “o.” You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. Timotheé Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn’t “cool” or “tight” or “awesome,” no, it’s “lemon.” “Did you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.” Billie Eilish, “OMG, hashtag… lemon.” You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins ‘cause there’s nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits… and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate… you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for copyright infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you’re done, and you’ve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars.
Captions extracted from: http://reddit.com/r/HouseofUsher/comments/178b98e/lemons/?rdt=43522
TV: The Fall of the House of Usher
https://redd.it/1dqahry
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Tell everyone you meet that we’re all living in The Matrix.
And that is why Keanu Reeves exists.
https://redd.it/1dq2qds
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Hit the baseball outside of the white line every time rather than missing it and you’ll get more home runs.
https://redd.it/1dsyoil
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Do this whenever you feel life is going too fast
https://redd.it/1dsunaq
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Need a vacation but can't afford it? Change your desktop wallpaper to a beach scene and tell everyone you’re working remotely from paradise!
https://redd.it/1dsqmwx
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Want to save time in the morning? Sleep in your work clothes. You’ll be dressed and ready as soon as you wake up!
https://redd.it/1dsoj7j
@prolifetipss
SLPT: The movie title "M3GAN" is pronounced "Em-Three-Gan". Trust me, I've seen the movie, and that's how the characters say it.
https://redd.it/1dsilip
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Alcohol is lighter than water. So drink as much vodka or rum as you can to keep yourself floating on water.
https://redd.it/1ds6lrt
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you want to avoid doing chores, just tell everyone you're "taking a minimalist approach" and don't own any cleaning supplies. It’s a real "clean" escape!
https://redd.it/1ds35nk
@prolifetipss
SLPT : Life tip: If you ever feel useless, just remember that there are people who still use Internet Explorer.
https://redd.it/1ds1wrl
@prolifetipss
SLPT If you have trouble cumming just sing "Happy Birthday "
Makes it easier when I'm in front of other people. (Parody of recent LPT post)
https://redd.it/1drybse
@prolifetipss
SLPT: People who drink alone are alcoholics. If you only drink with friends (meeting up every night and getting wasted) then you’re not an alcoholic, you’re just enjoying yourself in social situations!
https://redd.it/1drl98y
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Paint windows shut. Now robbers can’t use them to get in.
https://redd.it/1drh04v
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Bored? Start doing crack, develop a dehabilitating crack addiction, then stand outside a 7/11 and try and beg for dollars
Use the dollars to buy black n milds, smoke the black n milds, and repeat. Now you always have something to do on a bored weekend!
https://redd.it/1dqhexn
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you ever see someone crying in public, ask them if it’s because of their haircut.
https://redd.it/1dq62jb
@prolifetipss
SLPT If you hold in your piss while you’re shitting you can hose down the skid marks after you flush
https://redd.it/1dq17qy
@prolifetipss