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Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
SLPT: Next time someone sneezes, snap to attention, salute, and shout "Hail Sneezer!"
bonus points if they shout back, "PIZZA!! PIZZA!!
https://redd.it/1e1vyv7
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you poop for an hour every day, at the end of you'r career you will become a millionaire for shi**ing yourself.
https://redd.it/1e1n2wo
@prolifetipss
SLPT: you can save money on groceries if you borrow from your neighbors plants
It's ok, it's just borrowing, the plants will grow more, your neighbors will understand. Just do it at night, it tastes better if they don't know
https://redd.it/1e103u5
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If your hands don't smell, or aren't wet after using the bathroom, you don't have to wash your hands.
Shitty
https://redd.it/1e01h46
@prolifetipss
LPT: Stomachache? Just masturbate
It works every time, if you have a horrible stomachache leaving you rolling in bed, and you don't happen to have pepto or any kind of medication, an orgasm will cause your body to ignore the pain long enough to run to your local store and grab medicine. Sometimes it also just gets rid of the ache entirely
https://redd.it/1dztkg7
@prolifetipss
SLPT: To get a cheap good tattoo, get your cousins friends brother to tattoo a shitty swastica and a few months later go and get it covered up for free by a better artist
https://redd.it/1dzh4ik
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Struggling to wake up in the morning? Set 20 alarms, 3 minutes apart. Annoyance is a great motivator.
https://redd.it/1dz7da6
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Post about your life on AITA for sympathy from fellow Redditors
https://redd.it/1dz6u0a
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Chinese food restaurants often charge extra to replace white rice with brown rice, which is healthier. But they give out soy sauce for free. Save money by dousing your white rice with soy sauce, transforming it into healthy brown rice.
https://redd.it/1dz0jru
@prolifetipss
SLPT: You can save a lot of money on toilet paper by just wiping with your hand. You're going to wash it anyway.
https://redd.it/1dyypt9
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Place a large bet on the political candidate you want to lose, so if they win you make some money and money fixes everything.
You can't lose.
https://redd.it/1dyrf7w
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Take a break, you deserve it.
https://redd.it/1dydk28
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to Use a Toilet [OC]
https://redd.it/1dy3n23
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you want your kid to stop smoking weed, force them to smoke an entire oz or two until they vomit
https://redd.it/1dxzt9l
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Please be advised that TV Ma DOES NOT show movies that Mom will like. (Instead, there's a lot of swearing & nudity.)
https://redd.it/1dx6fzc
@prolifetipss
SLPT: When making friends with the guy in the urinal next to to you, start off with eye contact and offer a handshake
Works everytime
https://redd.it/1e1smng
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you can't afford Legos, buy it with cash to avoid the paper trail, and replace the contents with rocks and cornflakes to simulate the weight and sound; and then return it.
https://redd.it/1e12j2s
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Instead of finding a hill to die on, why not a pit? Cuz if you die on a hill, your body could roll down & land all awkwardly & undignified. But in a pit, not only is there no rolling, but you're already halfway buried, too.
https://redd.it/1e040pg
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Make your work life better
https://redd.it/1dzyqwh
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eat your meals straight from the packaging to save time on washing dishes.
https://redd.it/1dzrwko
@prolifetipss
SLPT
Need to remember something? Write it on your hand. If it smudges, just make up new plans as you go.
https://redd.it/1dz5nmz
@prolifetipss
SLPT: before quitting your job ask your boss for extra money this paycheck and say they can take it out of your next one
https://redd.it/1dz892m
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Before a long road trip, pop a few opiates. They will make you constipated and you won't have to stop to poop.
https://redd.it/1dz5bhv
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eat a liver before drinking alcohol.
https://redd.it/1dz02iv
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you want to get drunk or get some substances but are too poor for anything meaningful, feel bad no more
Because you have a choice of 2 options:
1. Simply be awake for 24 hours to feel a drunken state
2. Lock yourself in your room to get carbon dioxide poisoning
The latter is more potent. Costs nothing and even saves you money because you can just neglect your needs if you stay home all day.
https://redd.it/1dyxg4b
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Can't afford a car with heated seats? Get a decent sunburn on your back and you can get a taste of the suite life.
https://redd.it/1dyhu45
@prolifetipss
SLPT: You think time flies by too quickly? Try smoking, now every minute without a cigarette will feel like an eternity.
https://redd.it/1dy5nei
@prolifetipss
SLPT: When you need to be discreetly drunk, use a hydration pack!
https://redd.it/1dy3kv6
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you are going to hook up with a person who is not your significant other, do it on a date at the local fair. Then you can claim protection under the Fair Use Doctrine.
https://redd.it/1dxj71c
@prolifetipss
SLPT: everyone needs friends sometimes
https://redd.it/1dwrcem
@prolifetipss