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Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
SLPT: How to make any woman fall in love with you
https://redd.it/1egxtm0
@prolifetipss
SLPT: In the event of a nuclear detonation, the best shelter is a house made of uncooked lasagna. The lasagna will absorb the heat and become cooked, and provide all the food you will need for the ensuing apocalypse. Okey dokey?
https://redd.it/1eggyak
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Want to keep your house cool in the summer without running the AC? Just leave your refrigerator door open! The cold air will fill your home in no time.
https://redd.it/1efeow7
@prolifetipss
SLPT: "Cake" and "caca" both come from the same proto-indo-european word root word that describes something being layered or piled. So instead of "baking a cake", you can say "I'm gonna do caca in the kitchen."
https://redd.it/1ef6ajb
@prolifetipss
SLPT If you Color your hair purple,green or blue you don't have to tell anyone about your personality disorder. Everyone will already know.
https://redd.it/1eek7pn
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Baby Holding Avoidance Technique
https://redd.it/1eead4r
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Having a heart attack?
Attack it back.
https://redd.it/1edylza
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you commit a crime, seek refuge in the International House of Pancakes - the police have no jurisdiction there
https://redd.it/1edpk0l
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Instead of cooking two separate meals at a dinner party that includes vegetarian guests, mix vegetarian and non-vegetarian ingredients into one meal to save time and money.
https://redd.it/1ediec6
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you’re ever lonely, just post something disparaging about a prominent member of either US major political parties
No matter how obscure subreddit!
So many Redditors will want to engage with you!
Bonus tip: use an incorrect word in the title to engage with folks that just want to correct a stranger on the internet!
https://redd.it/1ed3kdu
@prolifetipss
SLPT: DIY Fentanyl manufacturing, earn $2,996,400 quick and easy. Thanks Apple News!
https://redd.it/1ed13g1
@prolifetipss
SLPT: To get a free X-Ray, hide in a suitcase and let someone register it at an airport.
https://redd.it/1econbb
@prolifetipss
SLPT: The perfect steak
https://redd.it/1eclyld
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Spit your mouthwash into your toilet and save on fresheners. That is all.
https://redd.it/1ec8h9t
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to get rid of lactose intolerance
https://redd.it/1egichf
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you're fat and want to lose weight at the gym, you should do steroids about it.
Or as the youth call it, gear. As you know, the human body burns more energy the more muscle it has to maintain. However, getting those muscles is hard! You can make it easier by "Gearing Up". When you enhance yourself for, as they say, one or two cycles in this way, you make it not only trivial to gain muscle, but the strength needed to lift more to gain more; it's truly a virtuous cycle!
Soon you will have enough muscle for your body to automatically be forced to maintain it via energy expenditure. Naturally, you must be responsible and stop getting into Gear afterwards, and the muscles may or may not go away after that, but if you were eating right while taking advantage, as you get muscle-cally smaller, you will notice that your fat stores have shrunk significantly because of the previous maintenance. In this way, you lose weight more efficiently. As you can see the science is very human, very easy to do.
But what about the physical and/or mental healt- now now THOSE problems are for the rich and influential people like the Liver King who spend tens of thousands of dollars a month to get swole. You are probably too poor to be on that much gear so you'll probably be okay maybe I think don't quote me on this I am not a doctor, now go get that juice (yay economy)!
https://redd.it/1eg6c1w
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If a cannibal invites you over for dinner, slather yourself in food that normal people eat (popcorn, sandwiches, buttholes, sushi, etc). This will deter the cannibal.
https://redd.it/1eftie2
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you're feeling depressed because you're overweight, you can make yourself feel better by enjoying some cupcakes, a Slurpee, a bag of Doritos Salsa Verde, a slice of cheesecake, a bacon burger with cheddar and pepperjack, a family bucket from KFC, a 5-foot sub, some gyros, and a diet Coke.
https://redd.it/1ef7fm2
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Need affordable childcare? Hang out by the jail when parolees are let out! They work cheap and they're trying to stay out of trouble.
https://redd.it/1ef1i8e
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Avoid Deadpool & Wolverine spoilers by not standing behind the Deadpool & Wolverine riced up hatchback.
https://redd.it/1eejj2d
@prolifetipss
SLPT: No YouTube premium needed
https://redd.it/1ee5rcj
@prolifetipss
SLPT: downvote reddit ads and it can help you visually skip them
https://redd.it/1edv44l
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you've accidentally ingested something toxic, you can induce vomiting by watching Star Wars content produced after 2005.
https://redd.it/1edmosx
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Get In Shape
https://redd.it/1edimvs
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Open doors by grabbing the handle with 3 fingers, and then pushing the door open with your scaly snout.
https://redd.it/1ed1blr
@prolifetipss
SLPT: put a box of chicken broth on your kitchen counter so that wimmin guests dont think youre some a loser that cooks with water
https://redd.it/1ecukjn
@prolifetipss
SLPT : Do you think your partner is trying to kill you for your life insurance payout? Buy some time by telling your partner that you've scheduled a meeting with your insurance company to negotiate a higher payout... and then explain to your partner that the "meeting" keeps getting postponed... ;)
https://redd.it/1ecagr2
@prolifetipss
SLPT: To sound fancier just spell words that end in ay with a "é". Like instead of "say" use "sé" or instead of "pay" use "pé"
For example instead of yesterday, just type yesterdé
Instead of ayy lmao, type éy lmao
I was told é is pronounced ay in French class, so it should work for everything
https://redd.it/1ecccn6
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you're late to your flight and the plane has already left, ask if you can at least get your laptop out of your checked bag. Laptops contain lithium ion batteries, and the plane will have to return to the gate so your bag can be removed from the cargo hold. Use this time to board the plane.
Bonus: Put a sock over your checked bag. That way, your bag gets left behind and all they get is the sock.
https://redd.it/1ec4flw
@prolifetipss