SLPT: Magic words to calm a furious girlfriend
https://redd.it/1h1v9hv
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Dirty toilet? Visitors coming?
Don't spend all that time cleaning it - unscrew the lightbulb!
https://redd.it/1h1o6ed
@prolifetipss
SLPT: sick of hard butter? Put your fridge on a wifi controlled outlet. Set an alarm for 1:00AM, and open your phone to turn the plug off. You'll have spreadable butter at breakfast time!
https://redd.it/1h14qhg
@prolifetipss
SLPT: I show this screenshot whenever someone asks me for money
https://redd.it/1h0g2iu
@prolifetipss
SLPT: make your own butter with powdered milk and margarine
1. Melt margarine
2. Add milk powder and mix
3. Refrigerate again
https://redd.it/1gzzw6q
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Dress for the weight you want, not the weight you have.
https://redd.it/1gzqb3o
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Having a shitty day? Put on sunglasses, now you're having a shitty evening.
https://redd.it/1gzpsh5
@prolifetipss
SLPT. You can remove freckles by just having a catastrophic injury.
https://redd.it/1gz6bf8
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Instead of hiring an escort, hire an out of work actor to pretend to be date
Usually escorts are pretty expensive and may or may not be good at lying.
Actors are trained in the art of pretending, and thus are better partners for lying to friends and family. If you bring an actor to a wedding (for example), you can give them a background, and a role to play. It could be very tragic (like they lost their mother to liver disease and alcoholism) or very upscale (like child of supreme court justice). You can rehearse dialogue and even write a complicated scenario (like you very public breakup over rising cost of postage stamps). They are also trained in multiple accents, and languages. You could say that they are from Australia, and and if you have no family connections there, it would be impossible to trace that they are a fake.
If its a filmed event (like a wedding), the actor gets to use that reel as part of their resume. Its a Win-win situation.
https://redd.it/1gymuvc
@prolifetipss
SLPT: turn orange juice into grapefruit juice
If you ever wanted some grapefruit juice just open a bottle of orange juice take a few sips then leave it sit in the fridge for 3 months it will start to rot and ferment and turn into nasty ass tasting grapefruit juice who the fuck would want grapefruit juice
https://redd.it/1h29tex
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Being cold is often associate with lack of movement.
https://redd.it/1h1vtcn
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Don't let your age get in the way of your love life! Go to your local smut shop and pick up some edible Depends™ today!
https://redd.it/1h1nthw
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Never take an elevator if you need to shit
The risk of an elevator breaking down is low, but never zero.
https://redd.it/1h1gtic
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Refer to everyone you encounter as Dummy.
Alright dummy, I’ll lay this out for you. If you casually refer to everyone as dummy, you’ll automatically be seen as the smartest and most powerful person in the room. It’s an endearing term, and your friends and coworkers will love you for it. Understand, dummy? Obviously if anyone calls YOU dummy, you’ll have to get furious and possibly fight them.
https://redd.it/1h0a5xx
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Best way to protect yourself from cutting onions
https://redd.it/1gzv6x0
@prolifetipss
SLPT: One Rattlesnake bite a day keeps the wrinkle away
https://redd.it/1gzq5tm
@prolifetipss
SLPT: pretend you’re in a televised quiz show when checking into a hotel, by quickly ringing the bell before answering each of the receptionist’s questions
https://redd.it/1gzgfn9
@prolifetipss
SLPT Every single thing in the supermarket is free, if you can outrun the security guards.
https://redd.it/1gya8tf
@prolifetipss