64
Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
SLPT: Avoid doing laundry forever by only buying black clothes!
Laundry is a myth perpetuated by detergent companies to sell more soap. Just invest in an entire wardrobe of black clothing! You'll not only be stylishly monochrome but also retired from the laundry schedule entirely—except for the occasional 'get your face out of a bucket of bleach moment' to keep things interesting!
https://redd.it/1i9sfxk
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Broaden your social circle by making eye contact with every passerby – it'll freak them out and display your extreme confidence!
Who needs friends when you can channel your inner-sociopath? Lock eyes with strangers to create intensely awkward moments! They'll love your dedication to producing baffled looks, and bonus points if they cross the street to avoid you. Guaranteed social growth – in some delusional universe!
https://redd.it/1i940dw
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Tired of listening to your partner? Consider getting a pet rock!
Who needs heart-to-heart talks when you've got a trusty pet rock? Just place it in any room, and it will silently listen to your deepest fears while offering zero feedback! Plus, it won’t steal the covers or put you on a guilt trip because of that ice cream binge.
https://redd.it/1i98eoo
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Reduce Caffeine Cravings by Taking Up Extreme Sports!
Why waste precious dollars on overpriced coffee when you could satisfy your cravings through the thrill of base jumping or tightrope walking? Who needs caffeine when you're surging with adrenaline? Panic attacks and questionable life choices are clearly the new coffee buzz!
https://redd.it/1i94bk8
@prolifetipss
SLPT Always remember to empty your computer's recycle bin before you physically move your computer so that it is lighter.
Who would want to carry around a computer full of trash?
https://redd.it/1i92zyi
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Treat Ya Self
https://redd.it/1i8qxsc
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you want to feel like you've lost weight, exchange your pounds scale for a kilogram scale. You'll feel light as a feather.
https://redd.it/1i8c1mn
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to encourage cleanliness and hygiene in men
https://redd.it/1i7eq2o
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Take out a loan or max out your credit card and don't pay it back. After a few years, when the debts have been sold on a few times to different debt collectors, you'll begin to receive letters offering you massive discounts on paying them back.
I'd recommend if you own a car, not to leave it on your driveway... and not to open the door if anyone knocks for a few years 👍
https://redd.it/1i78aut
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eliminate all your dry skin problems by hiring a team of tiny personal moisturizers!
Forget about expensive creams or annoying lotions! Just hire a team of miniature, highly-trained professionals to follow you around and apply moisturizer at random intervals. Bonus tip: pay them in particle board so they feel as valued as they’ll make you feel! Just imagine the moisturized world around you, complete with tiny little life coaches urging you to embrace your silkless, hydrated destiny!
https://redd.it/1i6sa5u
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Reduce unwanted conversations at parties by stapling a sign that says 'I'm not here for socializing' on your forehead!
Not only will this ingenious method clear a path for your snacks, but you'll also gain a whole new set of awkward ‘what’s wrong with them’ glances from onlookers. Consider it a conversation starter when someone asks you 'What’s wrong?' – the irony sells itself!
https://redd.it/1i6u89m
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Trip over your own shoelaces to increase your step count for the day!
Why bother with fancy fitness trackers when you can achieve that extra 'step' data organically? Just tie your shoelaces in a knot so big they'll secure the safety of neighboring small vessels. Who needs the gym when you can practice your acrobatics with two left feet? Bonus points if you attract a concerned crowd while figuring out how to get up!
https://redd.it/1i6q543
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to properly do a tattoo
https://redd.it/1i6nl4h
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to answer your boss if there's a random drug testing at work
https://redd.it/1i6l68r
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to save in emergency vehicular expenses
https://redd.it/1i5xzhy
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Improve your eating habits by only dining out... on nights you can’t afford it!
Why waste time cooking at home or indulging in nutritious meals when you can take your culinary fervor to them every restaurant you’ve never liked? Experiencing sheer panic after each credit card swipe as you dein it up at an upscale eatery really teaches those spending bills a lesson! Plus, think of the excitement every time the collection agency calls! Who needs to meal prep or stick to a diet? Live lavishly... and selfishly!
https://redd.it/1i9663l
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Sign your enemy up for random non vulgar magazines
Wasn't sure if this was a SLPT or a LPT, so this happened to me personally. Someone, i dont know who or when signed me up for "Wine Spectator". It's an innocent magazine, but it's got me wondering, where are they coming from, why am i getting them. I get "This is your last issue, please renew" magazines, only to get even more afterwards. I checked my bank statements, ,and I didn't accidently order it myself. So i can imagine there is probably someone out there laughing knowing the chaos and confusion they are causing. I've been getting them for almost two years now, even when i moved i'm still getting them (Makes sense with change of address, but still).
So not gonna lie, if anyone i know ever pisses me off, Imma just find a random cheap magazine and sign them up for it
\I dont know if with the internet, if "adult" magazines are even a thing anymore to get in the mail.
https://redd.it/1i97nye
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Overcome procrastination completely by forgetting all deadlines!
Why struggle to meet deadlines with pointless tasks like planning or actually working? Just wipe your calendar clean and pretend today is always a holiday! With zero obligations, you'll free up your mental space for more important decisions, like choosing which pizza to order for dinner... or breakfast!
https://redd.it/1i94qh6
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eliminate the stress of making decisions by never making any!
Drown in the bliss of indecision by rejecting every option in life! Who needswhat to have lunch when you can starve in deep contemplation? Instead of choosing hairstyles, just wear an oversized paper bag on your head. You'll never look wrong, and neither will your none-existent friends!
https://redd.it/1i932nz
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Use your favorite pillow as your computer mouse pad to double as a heartwarming conversation starter!
Why bother with a boring, flat mouse pad when you can sift through crunchily sentimental moments every time you click? Prepare for endless chit-chat at the office as others comment on your unique choice — 'Such a comfy work aesthetic!' Who wouldn’t want to feel nostalgic about nap times while scrolling through spreadsheets!
https://redd.it/1i916dd
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Nothing ever tries to rip you limb from limb if you don't volunteer
https://redd.it/1i8o8yz
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to discreetly exempt yourself from baking duties on the holidays
https://redd.it/1i869xb
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to ace a job interview
https://redd.it/1i7e7eg
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Lost Your Job?
https://redd.it/1i74jea
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eliminate stress from family gatherings by just never attending them again!
Nothing ruins the festive joy like dodging uncomfortable conversations, so become a professional recluse! Stock up on snacks and binge-watch bad reality TV in your pajamas, while your relatives pretend to 'miss' your eclectic life choices, overcoming social anxiety in style!
https://redd.it/1i6v3nw
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eliminate decision fatigue at lunch by only ever eating plain toast!
Who needs a balanced diet and the enjoyment of flavor when you could maintain peak efficiency with a blissfully boring lunch? Just stock up on plain bread—no butter, no toppings, just bread. When people ask you about your meal choices, proudly declare you’re on the 'minimalist culinary path'. Your stomach may protest, but your mind will have never been clearer!
https://redd.it/1i6suzn
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Save money on groceries by just eating air—it's calorie-free and environmentally friendly!
Who needs quinoa bowls and gluten-free snacks when you can inhale copious amounts of nothing for sustenance? The more you inhale, the less you consume financially. Plus, no one can see your kitchen filled with guilt-inducing fridge leftovers! Win-win!
https://redd.it/1i6p544
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to make your woman glued on to you
https://redd.it/1i6lmao
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to make every company conference call interesting
https://redd.it/1i5yeeu
@prolifetipss
SLPT if you’re an American who vowed to leave the USA if Trump won, but don’t have the money to leave, simply destroy all government documentation and claim you are an illegal alien, to get deported for free.
https://redd.it/1i5xccp
@prolifetipss