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Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
SLPT: Boost your productivity by working from the refrigerator!
Who needs a fancy office when you can maximize inspiration by turning your minifridge into your portable workstation? Between typing up reports and chugging milk straight from the carton, you'll find that balancing a snack with your meetings really sharpens your focus. Warning: Do not attempt Zoom calls, unless you want to discuss quarter-end figures while holding a yogurt. Потому-то командировать!
https://redd.it/1iehp86
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Solving your outfit dilemmas by permanently wearing a clown suit!
Why struggle every morning to match your clothes when a flamboyant clown suit makes all your wardrobe decisions for you? Plus, you'll never have to explain your life choices again—just juggle your problems away at the nearest coffee shop!
https://redd.it/1idrony
@prolifetipss
SLPT: To never lose cash again, burn it all in front of a mirror while chanting incantations to the ancient Gods of Frugality!
Not only will you feel an exhilarating connection to the intangible ether of money worries, but you'll also finally find that magic moment when your regrets can literally go up in smoke. Plus, instant $0 savings — talk about fiscal responsibility!
https://redd.it/1icykvi
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Solution for your laundry problem? Just stop wearing clothes completely!
Why bother with a weekly wash when you can embrace the freedom of nudity? Plus, think about the savings on detergent! Instant laundry fulfillment and environmental sustainability rolled into one! Warning: Side effects may include awkward encounters and sunburn, but who needs fashion anyway?
https://redd.it/1id0314
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Maximize your gym time by working out while sleeping!
Who needs eight hours of beauty sleep when you can flex those sleepy muscles instead? Simply set your alarm for snooze every two minutes while lifting the blankets. By the end of the month, not only will your bed gain a nice worn-in hole, but you'll always be 'in training' for the weight of your dreams—literally!
https://redd.it/1icwe0o
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Curb your stresses by removing all sources of joy from your life!
Feeling overwhelmed? Just delete every source of happiness to Level-Up your stress management skills! Friends and hobbies only drain your emotional energy—embrace the emptiness. Nothing says 'Zen Master' like a hermit’s existence! Bonus: enjoy ultra-boring conversations with yourself!
https://redd.it/1iccd83
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Reduce junk mail by sending it back unopened to the sender!
Feeling overwhelmed by the bold promises and free offers Bombarding your mailbox? Just take they glossy coupons and address them directly back to the hospital that never sent them to you! Not only is this a great way to bulk up your post office sales, but you'll become a mailman’s best friend. After all, nothing says ‘I love paper waste’ quite like giving the same pile of junk back every week. Your mailbox will stay so empty, in the end, it's like you never had a mail carrier at all!
https://redd.it/1ic9a1l
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Save money on groceries by just eating all your meals while shopping!
Why waste time preparing food at home when you can treat your grocery store like an all-you-can-eat buffet? Grab some cheese, sample every bag of chips, and wash it down with soda straight from the aisle! Bonus points for tears of joy when you give those *delicious* items back at the register!
https://redd.it/1ibhbzj
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Feel more alive while exercising by eating an entire pizza first!
Who needs energy bars when you can fuel your workout with a VBA (Vastly Belly-Achieving) pizza? Not only will the grease provide extra slippery resistance to your workout, but the immediate nap afterwards really rounds out a productive day! You'll thank yourself when you glide effortlessly on a pizza-induced cloud of optimism!
https://redd.it/1ibcrio
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you do something good for someone but didn't tell them, you probably only did it to please yourself. So be sure to tell them on every occasion for it to be a truely selfless act!
https://redd.it/1ib5l0b
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to save money on train tickets
https://redd.it/1iawwwo
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Skip that awkward small talk by announcing your all-time favorite flavor of ice cream in a crowded elevator!
Why exchange banalities when you can become the designated human speakerphone for gelato gossip? Just loudly proclaim respectively passion for unicorn sparkle raspberry fudge and watch people 'pretend' to not well up with tears of joy or confusion! Instant friendships and or strange sidesteps await!
https://redd.it/1ialv0r
@prolifetipss
SLPT been pulled over? Ask the cop if he wants a highway named after him! Its flattering!
https://redd.it/1iafnob
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Solve all your cleaning problems by painting everything black!
Tired of dust, stains, and seeing your gross floor? Problem solved! Just paint everything black. Not only will your home mirror the void of existence but it'll also hide ninety-nine percent of the mess! And who needs colors when you can embrace your inner goth? Who knows, maybe even your socks can get a makeover!
https://redd.it/1i9v7zt
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Enhance your social life by loudly announcing every thought you have!
Tired of awkward silences at parties? Just shout your inner dialogue! For example, 'I wonder what happens if I mix jelly beans with mayonnaise?' People will flock to you like moths to a flame, intrigued and probably a little nauseated. Who needs charisma when you have unsolicited monologues?
https://redd.it/1i9v9gk
@prolifetipss
LPT: Are you having a little bit of trouble getting to that difficult task? Culture writer Rax King has some advice
https://redd.it/1idxsvo
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Tired of exercising? Just substitute effort with imaginative faking!
Forget hitting the gym! Every time you feel the urge to work out, just envision yourself being incredibly active. Picture running a marathon while sitting on your couch, or thoroughly debating kale salads without ever eating one. Trust me, your imaginary workout buddies will thank you – and your nonexistent abs will be so shredded no one will even ask to see them!
https://redd.it/1idqx4d
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Stressed about your bills? Just set them all on fire to reduce their emotional weight!
Nothing says financial freedom like watching your debts go up in flames - literally! Plus, you’ll not only wow your friends with an impressive pyrotechnic display, but you'll also save on paper cuts! Don’t forget to buy marshmallows for regular stress-relief s'mores!
https://redd.it/1iczm1r
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Accelerate your career by actively ignoring workplace emails!
Why waste time reading and responding to those mundane emails? Just delete them all and invite the guesswork! Your coworkers will be so impressed by your mysterious air of confidence, they'll start seeking your advice on office matters... whether you have a clue or not. Bonus: you might even develop psychic abilities from the stress!
https://redd.it/1icyzte
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Maximize your snack enjoyment by only eating it while standing on one foot!
Why ruin a perfectly good snack while sitting? Stand on one foot to instantly increase the challenge of eating your chips. Not only does it give you a killer calf workout, but it gives each chip that extra zing of uncertainty—like, will you fall over while cheesy dusting your shirt? Spoiler: Yes!
https://redd.it/1icbsyd
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Overcome awkward silences in conversations by bursting into song at random intervals!
Feeling the pressure of dead air? Just start belting out your favorite show tunes! Not only will you instantly transform the awkwardness into confusion, but you might even land yourself an audience of uncomfortable strangers at the grocery store. Bonus points if you do this while checking out!
https://redd.it/1icbrq2
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Double your social skills by only speaking in complex metaphors!
Why bother with straightforward communication when you can baffle everyone with brainy literature references? Instead of saying 'I'm hungry', try 'My stomach is a black hole swallowing the light of culinary delights.' Guaranteed to confuse your friends into laughter or set them retreating forever—social life solved!
https://redd.it/1ibg0lx
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Make bad hair days a thing of the past by never brushing your hair again!
Forget pumps of product and fancy hairstyles! Simply abandon your hairbrush altogether—your hair will become a mystery masterpiece: part art installation, part mop. You'll revolutionize the concept of 'bedhead', and who knows? People might start asking you to charge admission!
https://redd.it/1ibgxq2
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Solve your overeating problem by never buying food—live off the glory of empty fridge shelves instead!
Why bother with pesky calories when you can experience the breathtaking purity of an empty fridge? Not only will your hunger keep you perpetually intrigued, but you'll also gain the ability to become one with the postcard you keep in there portraying a luxurious buffet. Extra fun when guests come over and you can regale them with oh-so-detailed stories of gourmet meals that once lived there!
https://redd.it/1ibdwwe
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Unemployment Benefits
https://redd.it/1ib4vep
@prolifetipss
LPT Use a twist of your shirt to clean your vape mouthpiece in a pinch
You can wet it first too.
Of course, a q tip would work better.
Also you can snot rocket into your pants at the knee for when you don’t have a tissue
https://redd.it/1iami8a
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Never lose your keys again by not having any!
Why waste time searching for your elusive keys when you can simply embrace the keyless lifestyle? Use a lock that’s so complex even you’ll forget how to open it! Bonus points for attempting to unlock your front door using only your amazing charisma and interpretative dance!
https://redd.it/1iaksfx
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Tired of losing your remote? Just buy a second TV and funnel all your energy into them!
Why stress over a misplaced remote when you can live the dream of having a dedicated TV for every room? $10,000 on electronics, and bing-bang-boom, you’re always one click away from starting yet another Netflix binge without the hassle of finding the closest couch fort!
https://redd.it/1i9y29e
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eliminate unnecessary stress by constantly procrastinating until the content stress spontaneously resolves itself!
Why tackle those looming deadlines head-on when you can live in blissful ignorance? Just ignore that looming Got-Caught-Up-OniERow-Prosurf cadáver headed your way— because honestly, nothing cures anxiety like first not knowing and then screaming at past you the day before it’s due.
https://redd.it/1i9vt91
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to avoid getting pregnant
https://redd.it/1i9v82p
@prolifetipss