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Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
SLPT to get rid of the spiders in your bathroom
Just burn down the house! The spiders are dead and new spiders can't hide in that bathroom anymore either. It's also a perfect opportunity to remodel.
https://redd.it/1dllgk5
@prolifetipss
SLPT If you need to fart in a restaurant
If you need to fart in a restaurant... wait until the food arrives at the table to silently deploy... your fellow dinners will either think it the waiting staff or the smell of the food
https://redd.it/1dl3bxz
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Save Time by Cooking All Your Meals for the Week in One Giant Pot
Why waste time cooking every day when you can just make one massive meal for the whole week? Throw all your ingredients—breakfast, lunch, and dinner—into one giant pot and cook it all at once. This way, you only have to clean one pot, and you can enjoy the unique flavor blend of pancakes, spaghetti, and chicken soup all week long. Bon appétit!
https://redd.it/1dklfh8
@prolifetipss
LPT The odds of winning the Euromillions is 1 in 139M. If you run a Euromillions simulator and lose 138,999,999 times, you will win on your real lottery attempt.
https://redd.it/1dklpxu
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Pet owners, after you grate cheese, give your pets a treat by letting them lick the grater. They'll have loads of fun getting the cheese out of the nooks and crannies
https://redd.it/1djpvnm
@prolifetipss
SLPT : overweight? Just lose your job!
Can’t gain weight if you can’t afford to eat
https://redd.it/1djifx5
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Have a knot in your shoelace? Get some very sharp scissors and carefully cut either side of the knot to remove it.
https://redd.it/1djcf8e
@prolifetipss
SLPT: On the first date, forget your wallet on purpose so she has to pay.
https://redd.it/1dj7n5b
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to protect your face in a fight
https://redd.it/1dirszt
@prolifetipss
SLPT to sneak an empty pizza box in regular trash without recycling...wet it, crumble it up and throw it right in there!
https://redd.it/1diftqf
@prolifetipss
SLPT - Easy way to get taller
https://redd.it/1di6avq
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Herion is a gateway drug
https://redd.it/1dhrnqj
@prolifetipss
SLPT: According to Google, you can get monkey knockout gas at your local Walmart
https://redd.it/1dhcik5
@prolifetipss
LPT: How to be a professional Karen/Ken
Here are 3 of the best tips when you need to call upon your inner Karen/Ken:
1. Raise your voice. You need to assert your dominance. This is especially useful when other people are around. Raising your voice will grab the attention of onlookers and add more pressure to whoever it is that you’re interacting with.
2. Hand gestures. Express your outrage with your hands. Learn to sync your raised voice with your hand gestures for optimum performance.
3. Wear a hat. When the previous two tips fail, this is your ace in the corner pocket. When they’re not budging, take your hat off and throw it on the ground. If you want to take it to the next level, stomp on the hat once it’s on the ground while pointing at it and say “this is completely acceptable.” This is an advanced technique that requires mastery of the first 2 tips. If done correctly, 9 times out of 10 you will get your way.
https://redd.it/1dg1tir
@prolifetipss
SLPT: You can save a lot of money on sunscreen this summer by becoming an isolated hermit
https://redd.it/1dfw8ck
@prolifetipss
SLPT Convert you temperature scale from Fahrenheit to Celsius and get a lower temperature
Feeling the heat, just change from F to C and you get a lower number.
https://redd.it/1dl6lni
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Moving to NYC? Stay safe by maintaining eye contact with anyone you find intimidating.
https://redd.it/1dk5ckc
@prolifetipss
LPT: If you're putting off seeing a doctor because you're scared they'll discover a health problem you didn't know about, don't worry. Doctors will miss your health problems anyway. They'll tell you you're completely fine, and that always makes people feel better!
https://redd.it/1dkfwyn
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How To Improve Your Work/Life Balance
https://redd.it/1dk6mab
@prolifetipss
SLPT: landlord doesn’t allow cats? Get one anyway and if the landlord comes over, hide it in the ceiling.
https://redd.it/1djo660
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If ever your car breaks down, write on it in big and bold letters "Help, me please." ; then stand next to it. People will stop to correct you on your punctuation and you can ask them for help.
https://redd.it/1djh6eb
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Save Money on Toilet Paper
YSK you can flip your toilet paper over and use it again, it has two clean sides. Help control your TP costs with this one SLPT.
https://redd.it/1djbomj
@prolifetipss
SLPT - Are you an Uber Driver? Play non-stop political podcasts.
https://redd.it/1dirli2
@prolifetipss
SLPT: How to find a partner
https://redd.it/1dil86v
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you need to get rid of a bunch of junk just drop it off on someone's porch and leave a note thanking them for all they've done for you. Wrong address if you get caught.
https://redd.it/1didxoh
@prolifetipss
SLPT You don't have to bleed during your period if you're upside down!
https://redd.it/1dhzc7b
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Sex life disappointing you lately? Consider becoming a priest or nun to make it seem intentional
Aunt Thelma won't harass you about getting married any more once you rock up to the Thanksgiving table in that fresh cassock.
Just look her straight in the eye and say, "I'm married to Jesus now, and he is a tender and attentive lover."
https://redd.it/1dhhvcm
@prolifetipss
SLPT Lacking kitchen/home appliances? Use workplace office equipment instead.
Office shredders can be used for everything from salad to cheese. Laminators can seal food bags. Automatic staplers can repair torn clothes. Workplace radiators are great for toasting bread. Automatic soap dispensers can be repurposed for sauce delivery. Use your imagination but don't let HR catch you 😜
https://redd.it/1dghqmj
@prolifetipss
SLPT The single most useful word you will ever learn is nah
When the schoolchildren talk about how the rules of society are enforced at the barrel of a gun by the state's monopoly on violence, they're only partially correct. Most rules are enforced through social pressure. While implicit threats do exist, the reality is most of that is unnecessary. People are often kept compliant and subservient through fear of being ostracized for violating social norms. What I'm about to equip you with is the ultimate counter spell to those social norms: nah.
Let's suppose you're lying in bed ganking it when your boss calls you and says, "Hey, can you come in today?" For most people, there will be at least some sense of pressure to agree. What nah permits is for you to decline in such a way that there is no rebuttal. You're not offering an excuse to be reasoned through. You're not bowing to the power dynamics as established. You're not even really conforming to linguistic norms. You're refusing. One simply cannot argue with that.
As another example, let's say someone thinks they've caught you being problematic. They've dug up a shitpost you made ten years ago and are now demanding you apologize. You can simply tell them nah and walk away. Just leave and say nothing else to them. If they try to defame you further, just tell any followers they gain nah. What can they do? They have no recourse. You have ended the interaction by demonstrating they are not owed your time. You don't owe anyone any explanation for your actions. If an interaction at any point seems like it might cause you harm, you can shut it down immediately with nah.
Wife wants to divorce you? Nah. Judge wants to fine you? Nah. Girl scout wants to offload those kinda shitty lemon cookies on you? Nah. You are your own master. You don't need to acquiesce to societal demands. You didn't sign a social contract. You didn't agree to the EULA. Consent must be active and enthusiastic and can be revoked at any time. That revocation comes in the form of nah.
But what if nah doesn't really convey just how over the whole thing I am? Thankfully, it's an endlessly adaptable word. Simply add the number of A's and H's necessary to convey your feelings. Also remember, it can be used to cut people off in conversation and silence dissent. No one is owed your attention or willingness to interact. Just hit them with a nah and walk away. Simple as.
https://redd.it/1dfzfs7
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Beginner driver? buy or rent a car model that is used for cop cars.
So that people won't bully you on the road as much.
https://redd.it/1dfuozc
@prolifetipss