64
Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
LPT: Keep trying, eventually your joke will land.
If a joke your making to your buddy isn't making them laugh... try again.
And again,
And again.
Eventually your joke will land and laughter will fill the room.
Pro Tip: Jokes don't expire, if it worked once, it'll work again! Keep making that same joke over and over and you will soon be source of your friend group's happiness. 😃
https://redd.it/1konng9
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Shit in a bag and smear the shit over your car’s front grille
Now you can assert your dominance by making anyone in your car to breathe your shit forever!
https://redd.it/1ko3jum
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you have no life consider donating blood
You'll easily pass the high risk sexual behaviour screening question and the one about doing drugs. Donating blood saves lives and supports a wide range of medical treatments!
https://redd.it/1kntwzc
@prolifetipss
SLPT: The reason most casinos don't have clocks is that it typically takes 72 hours of nonstop gambling to start winning big and they are banking on you stopping before that. Set an alarm on your phone and don't stop before 72 hours to beat the house.
Be sure to bring lots of valuables to pawn for a fraction or their value in case you run out of cash early. Also, whatever you do, don't stop to eat or sleep or the time starts over.
https://redd.it/1knlse5
@prolifetipss
SLPT: if you have to go to the hospital try to get c.diff or cholera as well to increase your chances of getting a private room
For some reason they don't like to keep patients with highly contagious diarrhea mixed into the crowded waiting rooms or hallways
https://redd.it/1kniypy
@prolifetipss
LPT: When stopped by the police, tell them you are not carrying bombs or other illegal items
In this day and age we never know who carries weapons or illegal substances, hence why police have increased stress nowadays.
Be a good citizen and let police know you are not carrying illegal items or that you are not planning to do violent acts by for example telling them «I am not carrying a bomb», without them having to ask.
Why?
1 - Good dialogue
2 - Increased trust
3 - Cooperation and safety increases
https://redd.it/1knf2qj
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Shout out to people who ask what the opposite of in is.
https://redd.it/1kn5nul
@prolifetipss
SLPT: When checking chicken for doneness, probe the thinnest part with your thermometer, so you won't have to wait for ages to eat your dinner.
https://redd.it/1kmppse
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Are you on vacation and want to get drunk for free? Wait until the morning when everybody's checking out and walk by the hotel housekeeper's carts and take the booze left from other rooms!
https://redd.it/1km4czc
@prolifetipss
SLPT how to get away with kidnapping in the US
Just dress up as ICE and say you're from ICE. Since they don't have IDs no one could tell the difference.
https://redd.it/1klkdlc
@prolifetipss
SLPT: When you have a lot of work/things to do, do it in montage style like they do in the movies. You can accomplish a lot in just a few seconds.
https://redd.it/1kkiwze
@prolifetipss
SLPT: The Farming Industry Doesn't Want You To Know This But the Ants In Your House, They're Completely Edible and Free.
https://redd.it/1kkg0my
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Tired of not having any money? Buy one million one dollar scratch off tickets. Chances are, you'll eventually win $1,000 or more!
https://redd.it/1kjmu5z
@prolifetipss
SLPT: The correct answer to the question "Do I look fat in these pants?" is...
No, honey, not in those pants.
https://redd.it/1kiyt6m
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Are you learning English and you need someone to practice with? Just wait for an Indian scammer to call you and have a conversation with him. They speak a magnificent accent. For no circumstances, give them your credit card number because then they will lose interest in you.
https://redd.it/1ki7vkd
@prolifetipss
LPT: Do not get old.
I literally got winded. Doing the unspeakable normal task that every human does on a throne made of porcelain, but I cannot directly say it without getting flagged or reported. This task was the product of eating food. I did my best to describe this deed in a way that would not make it seem gross or unpleasant.
My main point is getting old sucks and doing menial human functions now causes my body to go into a relentless struggle for air. Please please please, do not get old. Just don't. Thanks.
- Your friendly neighborhood millennial.
https://redd.it/1kobq64
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Get a watch that is difficult to read so other people cannot tell the time for free
Too lazy to pull out your phone? Get your own watch, you fucking freeloader. I didn't buy this for YOU. I bought it for me.
You can't even be bothered to ask? You're just going to look over my shoulder and see MY time?
Nope, not anymore.
My watch is a fucking puzzle to read.
Every time I want to know what time it is I have go think about it a little. I've gotten better at it since I first got it last year, but there's always a little effort to it.
A small price to pay to maintain sovereignty over my time telling device.
https://redd.it/1ko2usg
@prolifetipss
SLPT for blind folks: Lube up your fingers to increase your reading speed
https://redd.it/1knji8p
@prolifetipss
LPT: to lose weight eat a diet that makes you feel nauseous
The reason you can’t lose weight is because you feel better when you eat. If you eat plenty of foods that are rich in tannins or foods that you’re intolerant too, you’ll stop enjoying food and will start to prefer a bit of hunger.
https://redd.it/1knj3ri
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you regularly beg on highway exit ramps, avoid the "I don't have any cash" excuse by adding a card reader to your smartphone.
https://redd.it/1kng0h3
@prolifetipss
LPT Never thought this could help to fall asleep
https://youtu.be/3478aBp_ewo
https://redd.it/1kn6q4s
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Before you buy a new car rent one for a weekend, and if you like it, wreck it. That way you'll know how much the repairs will be if you ever crash yours.
https://preview.redd.it/y97d9qh2ju0f1.png?width=712&format=png&auto=webp&s=752708d911af6cf52ec18eda7ab52a81d973ae3e
https://redd.it/1kmvuou
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If a woman you know goes missing, use photoshop to add blonde hair and to lighten skin before you share the pic with the police and public. This will help to get more attention and increase the probability of finding her.
https://redd.it/1kml4u4
@prolifetipss
LPT: To make people feel more comfortable and safe, assure them what you will not do
People will often find themselves worrying about certain things and needing assurance, and therefore assuring them is a good idea.
Say you ask to borrow somebodys car. Tell them you will try your hardest to not crash it, as this will assure them that you are responsible
https://redd.it/1klox2o
@prolifetipss
LPT: If you hate yourself and always assume you're in the wrong, forgiving people gets a whole lot easier
https://redd.it/1kkl7gs
@prolifetipss
SLPT: To check for freshness, put an ice cube in a glass with some scotch. If the cube floats, you’re good to go. If it sinks, the cube is expired and should be replaced with a new one.
https://redd.it/1kkg79y
@prolifetipss
SLPT: On old music videos on YouTube, when people say "who's listening to this in 2025", say that you're actually in 2035. This is a simple way to establish yourself as a mysterious time traveler, and gives you leverage to find hookups or scam people to buy crypto.
https://redd.it/1kjt8q9
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Am I just dumb?
You will probably go through my profile history so I am just going to state it.
A year and half ago I have a school program and I found myself in China. That is where I first learnt what wechat is. I got into a few groups anr in eome way found myself in 'Thugs' group or that is what the call themselves.
I was introduced to them, they told me how I could make myself money effortlessly considering I was American. I was not really interested at first but soon I learnt it was not risky as I thought and went with the flow.
I managed to make some money from them. Came back to the US and was able to double it. I couldn't hide it anymore from my friends so I had to tell them, and linked them to the guys I was working with. One of my friends really put fear in me that I could be caught so I unceremoniously quit from a 3 hour job that was getting me $1k a day.
I came to learn later that it was a ploy from my friend and he was going on with the job. I managed to get back later with a different new identity but I didn't have the advantage of being the pioneer and able to run multiple accounts for them anymore.
My friend played me. Should I keep trusting him or just keep him till I can gain my guys' trust again?
Again, I can explain the details to you and tell me if it really is sus
https://redd.it/1kjefoe
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Try asking/telling your girlfriend these things when you get in a fight with her!
"Are you on your period?" Girls love to be reminded that you care about their health and will calm them down, also reminding them they have no unwanted crotch goblins.
"Have you taken your meds?" Girls, again, love being reminded that you care about their health.
"My ex would have never done this." Girls love having something to be compared to, knowing that someone else wouldn't have argued about that makes them re-think what they're saying.
"what's for dinner?" This shows girls you care about other things than arguing and that it's not the highlight of your day.
"you're looking a bit heavier than normal." This shows girls you always notice the little things and care about how she feels, and love how she looks.
"you're over reacting." Girls love when men pay attention to and validate their emotions, so you need to be in control of what they are feeling and know when it's ok.
"you're so cute when you're angry." It shows that you love how she looks, even when she's not in the best of moods
"all of you women are just the same." It shows that you know she can be just as good as anyone else and that she isn't half-bad
"you wouldn't be here without me." It shows that you care about each other and that you would help her at any point necessary.
https://redd.it/1kiuatt
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you’re on the toilet and can’t get the poop out just blow your nose
https://redd.it/1jrwxa1
@prolifetipss
