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Pro life tips Courtesy of @r_channels
SLPT: Get a job at the toll tag company, assign your toll tag to a customer with a large fleet of cars and trucks. Quit and find a new job that offers opportunities for similar perks.
Maybe get a new job at a furniture store right before you want to buy new furniture, use employee discount and quit.
Get a job at a car dealership right before you want to buy a new car, use employee discount and quit.
Get a job at the money factory and take advantage of the… you get the idea.
https://redd.it/1kz8zma
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Argument escalating? Just start jerking off real quick. Instant mental clarity guaranteed!
Take advantage of post nut clarity, my friend.
https://redd.it/1kymu9c
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Want to get a quick CT scan & MRI? Go to the emergency room and tell them you're experiencing double vision.
Double vision is a sign you might be experiencing a stroke. If that's the case doctors can do something about it but they have a very limited window of time, so if you tell them that at the ER you go straight to the front of the line.
https://redd.it/1kxcqha
@prolifetipss
SLPT: See a little kid in a martial arts gi walking with their mom? Help build the kids confidence by pretending to rob their mom, and letting the kid stop you.
Make sure you yell something like "That kid's an animal! Let me out of here!" as you beat a hasty retreat.
https://redd.it/1kwrl3r
@prolifetipss
SLPT Running out of time to finish an assignment or work that has a deadline or time limit? Use the last 1 minute to rant about the fact you only have ONE FXCKING MINUTE and that they’re only gonna give you 1 minute
https://redd.it/1kw7b3l
@prolifetipss
SLPT If you are balding at the crown of your head (and insecure about it), cut your hair into bi-hawks, so all attention will be drawn away from the balding and drawn towards you awesome anti-establishment hairdo
https://redd.it/1kvlrem
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Eating junk food is technically dieting
https://redd.it/1kv0824
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Bored of using heads and tails to make decisions? Close your eyes and throw a brick out of the window. Pavement or pedestrian.
https://redd.it/1kuy6bv
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Want to grab someone’s ass without any trouble? Just say “Oh, I thought you were my partner” and stay calm like it was their mistake.
They’ll end up apologizing to you.
https://redd.it/1ktil8g
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Your kids probably don’t love you as much as your employer does so show some gratitude
When was the last time your kids provided the entire staff multiple cheese AND pepperoni pizzas? When was the last time your kids approved your PTO after you called in sick? We don’t have to approve those, you know. I bet your kids don’t even pay you. That’s why you should skip their graduation and come on into work. You ever been to one of these graduations? Terrible. Come in and work a half day and avoid that long winded drawn out bullshit.
https://redd.it/1kst731
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Do you own a store that you're absolutely terrified of people seeing from public? Don't build a store next to a public sidewalk. Don't build windows looking out at the sidewalk. Don't build an entire wall out of glass.
https://redd.it/1krya8t
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Save $ on maids (for house cleaning) by dating a person with OCD.
https://redd.it/1krf9de
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Smile/laugh cheerfully and heartily for your mugshot. That way you can tell people that it was just silly mugshot taken at a bachelor/bachelorette party.
https://redd.it/1kqsjma
@prolifetipss
SLPT request the opposite of came to shit but only farted
Everyone knows
Here I sit broken hearted
Came to shit
But only farted
But is there a cute little rhyme for when you think you are only going to fart but instead you, either a little or a lot, shit your pants?
https://redd.it/1kpzcom
@prolifetipss
LPT- Always walk on wrong side of the road so that you can escape being hit by a vehicle. Otherwise a vehicle can hit you from behind.
https://redd.it/1kprooj
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Save time parking and getting into the store.
Put up your windshield sun screen when you hit the parking lot. You saw your spot. You are good.
https://redd.it/1kyws89
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you don’t want to help your wife with the newborn at night, simply drink enough alcohol to make it unsafe for you to hold a baby. Repeat as needed.
https://redd.it/1kylwaa
@prolifetipss
LPT: If you use Double-Cream Greek Yoghurt in your coffee instead of milk, it counts as breakfast.
https://redd.it/1kxak3i
@prolifetipss
SLPT: You can come in a room without entering if you shoot far enough.
https://redd.it/1kwmvzi
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Do you have dental anxiety? When you don't have any appointments, go to a dentists office and pick a fight with the dentist. You'll learn that they are just people like us. Don't fight your own dentist because they might jump you next time you're in the chair.
https://redd.it/1kvwe9b
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Invest on your children's financial future by not being a terrible parent, so they won't need therapy
https://redd.it/1kvcupf
@prolifetipss
LPT: Upgrade your Fleshlight with a vacuum cleaner (The SuckLight).
Have you ever been vacuuming the house, got a little horny, and thought, "Damn, I could really go for a blowjob right now"?
I did. And I wasn’t about to spend $5000 on some fancy sex robot.
So here is the idea that changed my day:
Because today I invented something beautiful. Something very nice.
I call it: The SuckLight ""Vacuum the house and let it blow you too"
It is exactly what it sounds like: it's a Fleshlight taped to the end of a vacuum cleaner. You don't need a engineering degree to make it. Just tape, suction, and confidence.
What was the worst that could happen? The vacuum sucking my dick off? No this is pure and safe adult fun.
I don’t know if this makes me an innovator or just very divorced, but I do know this: my Fleshlight, Creampuff, has finally reached its final form. And today it hums at 2000 watts.
You're welcome.
https://redd.it/1kuz7bp
@prolifetipss
SLPT: When you're looking at your messages, and you're unsure which ones you sent or which ones were sent to you, you can always look at the hint in the message that says "delivered" or "read." Those ones are the ones that you sent.
https://redd.it/1ku8ehc
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If you find yourself attracted to a woman other than your wife, take pictures of that woman and then show them to your wife, this way she'll know the kind of woman you're looking for, and she'll likely change her appearance.
https://redd.it/1kt0nhq
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If your friends’ or relatives’ teenage daughter annoys you, just leave a positive pregnancy stick in their bathroom trash can.
https://redd.it/1kseqwj
@prolifetipss
SLPT: If a girl ever pulls a knife on you during an argument, pull out the bread, turkey, and Mayo. Her instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich.
https://redd.it/1krkrgu
@prolifetipss
LPT: don't want to take your n3DS backplate off and FTP is too slow? just cut a hole in the backplate to access the SD easier
https://redd.it/1kr2owz
@prolifetipss
SLPT: become a famous and rich person by starting your own podcast. Just make sure that famous people come otherwise no one will watch it. And famous people won’t come if no one watches it.
https://redd.it/1kq15q5
@prolifetipss
SLPT: Try to memorize an Indian pop song, so if an Indian scammer calls you, sing this song to him. You’ll make his day and he won’t bother you anymore.
https://redd.it/1kpvie3
@prolifetipss
LPT: Lost track of your various subscriptions? Freeze your main card. When the payment declines, they’ll email you and you can cancel the subscription.
This might or might not have happened to me by accident. Silver lining to losing your wallet!
https://redd.it/1kp3jwz
@prolifetipss