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got a table. Well...I don't know what happened. I don't know if Jasmine was just shy or what, but she didn't speak to him at all. And I mean, at all.
I had to keep asking him questions trying to find something about him that we could talk about. Even trying to include Jasmine too saying these like, "Right Jasmine?" "What about you, Jasmine?" "Oh Jasmine loves that, don't you Jasmine?"
TRYING DESPERATELY TO GET HER AN ENTRY WITH THIS MAN!
The date was awkward as hell, and it felt more like a blind date for me than anything. I mostly talked to the guy, got to know him, had the most awkward lunch of my life, and was extremely thankful when it was over.
Thanks for reading my series of unfortunate events. 🤣
TLDR: My dumb ass fell for a older catfish, pulled up to his house after he ghosted me cause he sent me his address and I assumed he would still want to hang out. 🤦🏻♀️ Realized I was catfished, back tracked so fast. My best friend still wanted me to go on the date with her, so I was the 3rd wheel and somehow it became more of a blind date for me.
https://redd.it/1padsw7
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by eating too many waffles with syrup
So my diet has been off because of the holidays. I had a late and big lunch with my parents today before heading home from visiting them for Thanksgiving. I wasn't very hungry when I got home so I didn't really have dinner. Around 10 pm, I was hungry and didn't have much in my apartment.
I remembered that I had Eggo waffles in my fridge still. I add syrup without thinking about it. It's just the only way to eat them. I had 4 because I ended up super hungry after doing a lot and not eating much after the late lunch. I was still hungry so I had 4 more to finish off the box. Each was drenched in syrup.
It's been 2 or 3 hours now and my stomach is hating how much syrup and sugar I had. As a nearly 30 year old man, I should've known it wasn't a good idea, but it seemed so worth it. Now I can't sleep because my stomach will not stop killing me and I'm out of medicine. 🤢😭
TL;DR I destroyed my stomach by having 8 waffles drenched in syrup.
https://redd.it/1pabjo8
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by microwaving my underwear and setting off the fire alarm
tl;dr: tried to dry boxers in microwave, filled dorm with burnt elastic funk and had to confess to RA while wearing a towel.
So i overslept, grabbed yesterday’s undies off the floor, realized they were still damp from the wash but my 8 a.m. lab waits for no one. i figured thirty seconds on high couldn’t hurt, right? the first whiff was like melting plastic and regret.
Cue the alarm blaring, half the hall evacuating in pajamas, and me sprinting to the shared kitchen holding a smoking plate with what now looks like a deflated balloon. the RA made me fill out an incident report titled ‘unauthorized fabric experiment’ while everyone else stood around sniffing and guessing which burnt snack it was.
i spent the rest of the week known as ‘popcorn pervert’ and learned cotton blends can absolutely combust. anyone else ever microwave something they definitely shouldn’t have, or am i the lone underwear arsonist here?
https://redd.it/1pa9708
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by fumbling because I was stoned af
I was on the phone with a girl from New England area I’ve been chatting with for some weeks.
I was on a call with her in my apartment one night about a week ago. We were bantering about whatever, stuff about life and etc. Before we called I had taken a ~25mg edible (legal where I am). I planned that, once I began feeling the effects, I’d end the call.
About an hour into talking I started to feel myself coming up. I began to talk less and less until eventually I was fully engulfed by the zaza. Up until now the call had gone well, I was being probably charming, it was a fun convo, etc.
I forgot that I planned to stop calling when I was intoxicated (also the convo was fun, so I was hesitant even before I forgot). It got to the point where it was just her talking a ton and I was saying stuff like “oh ok” “hmmm” etc, just fillers.
I was texting my buddy while I was on the phone with her, and I was going to send him a laughing gif. I opened the gif menu and for some reason, all the laughing gifs (to be specific, gifs saying “hehe”) were just the funniest stuff ever. I began laughing as soon as I saw them. As in laughing so hard I was crying, I couldn’t breathe.
Now, fate decided to mess with me.
seconds before I started laughing, she had said a joke that I didn’t hear because I wasn’t paying attention. So when I started laughing, she thought I was laughing at her joke.
I should’ve rolled with it, but my high ass said, “I wasn’t laughing at your joke, I was laughing at a gif I was sending to a friend” like why tf did I say that 😭. Anyway, she said “oh I was so confused, I didn’t think you found me this funny”. Holy cow. I didn’t just miss the proverbial target, I hit someone behind the target too.
We haven’t spoken since. Maybe that’s for the best for both of us, idk.
TL;DR, due to pure bad timing and being intoxicated I destroyed my chances with a woman. PS don’t attempt to flirt when you’re babongled.
EDIT:
I feel really bad for her, not as much for me. Even though unintentional, I know that hurt her feelings. I’m going to give an apology tomorrow
https://redd.it/1pa4vjh
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by being socially awkward and accidentally looking racist😭
TL;DR
TIFU by being too shy to sit on a bench because some members of a sweet Moroccan family were standing up and i sat on the ground looking racist.
So basically I went to catch a bus and at the station there was this nice Moroccan family i asked if the bus is at 17:00. They said yes, i thanked them and then the mom told the kids to move a little to give me a space to sit on a bench. I felt bad to sit there because the mom was standing and we had to wait for another 30 minutes for the bus to arrive. I politely said "Oh, no, don't worry" and walked a meter or two to stand there and not invide their space.
But there's a problem, i am wearing heels (bad idea if you're going to walk pretty much, i know) so my feet were BURNING. I couldn't keep standing there because I was IN PAIN. But i couldn't go and sit on the bench either because i already declined the offer and it would be awkward. I tried standing on my heels only but it still hurt. So i decided to do the only thing i could: i walked one more meter and sat on the edge of the sidewalk.
And only then, after i noticed the Moroccan mom giving me a side eye, I froze because I realized that it looked like I would rather sit on the ground than sit on the same bench with them.
I'm not racist, I am just socially awkward and shy and also I'm afraid of making people uncomfortable so if there were literally any people on that bench I'd do the same... Now i look like a fucking racist. Great
https://redd.it/1p9sm53
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by trying to look cute for a guy and accidentally destroying my own dignity
So there’s this guy at my gym who is stupidly attractive. Like the type that makes you forget how to breathe for a second. Today I decided I was finally going to look somewhat put together instead of my usual “escaped swamp creature” look.
New leggings, hair brushed (a miracle), tiny bit of lip gloss the whole deal.
Everything was fine until I got on the treadmill.
I tried to do that cute slow jog girls on TikTok somehow look adorable doing.
I however am not a TikTok girl.
I tripped on my own shoelace, launched forward, smacked the emergency stop, AND somehow managed to pull my headphones out so hard they whipped me in the face.
The noise it made was… loud.
Gym stopped.
He looked.
I wished for death.
To make it worse, he came over and asked if I was okay and I panicked and said:
“HAHA I DO THAT ON PURPOSE.”
Why did I say THAT.
TLDR: Tried to look cute at the gym, tripped on the treadmill in front of my crush and publicly humiliated myself.
https://redd.it/1p9npen
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by trusting craft beer and my own butt way too much
Alright, Reddit… this is a story I’ve kept buried for almost 20 years. I don’t know if it’s guilt, embarrassment, or pure trauma, but today’s the day I finally get it off my chest.
So I was camping with some friends. We were drinking craft beers the night before — the fancy hipster ones that taste like grapefruit misery but hit like diesel fuel. I woke up the next morning and instantly knew my stomach hated me. Not a “maybe in 30 minutes” kind of situation… I’m talking DEFCON 1.
So I start wobbling toward my car to drive to the campground bathrooms. My buddy’s daughter (she was like 7) and their dog were hanging out by the fire. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
Halfway to my car, the beer gut punched me like a freight train. My body said, “We’re doing this NOW.” I squeezed my cheeks harder than a hydraulic press… but nope. Nature won.
I shit myself. Bad. Like running down my legs bad.
I’m limping to my car, praying nobody sees me… and then I hear footsteps behind me. I look back and the dog is FOLLOWING ME… licking… and eating the trail I’m leaving behind me.
I wanted to ascend into the astral plane.
I’m mortified, covered in shame and IPA-fueled regret, when I finally get to my car. I sit in it — marinating in my own choices — and start driving to the showers.
But here’s where the real horror begins.
I glance in my rear-view mirror and see the dog trot back over toward the fire. The little girl bends down to pet him like it’s the best day ever.
And the dog… is licking her face. Like, full cleanup mode.
I almost puked right there in my car. I’ve never recovered mentally. I don’t think I ever will.
I took the world’s saddest shower, came back, and played it off like “haha yeah I fell in the river.” Nobody mentioned anything. Not a word. Not from the adults, not from the kid, not from ANYONE.
The dog low-key saved me… but also committed an unspeakable war crime in the process.
And this is the first time I’ve ever told a soul.
TL;DR:
Drank way too many craft beers while camping, woke up with beer-gut doom, tried to make it to the bathroom, violently shit myself mid-walk, dog immediately ate it and then went to lick a kid’s face. I pretended I fell in the river and nobody said a word.
https://redd.it/1p9ettm
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by moving across the country
I grew up in a very small town, with nothing but cornfields and a few fast food restaurants. For as far back as I can remember, I wanted to leave that town. The older I got, the more reasons I had to leave. My friends became people I hated, and who hated me. Girlfriends became exes. Soon, the entire town was hell to me. There wasn't a street that didn't have a memory, good or bad, with someone I either didn't like, or no longer spoke to.
I joined the military to get away from everything. It was amazing. I was stationed in Texas, far away from my hometown. I met people who thought like me, and the streets didn't carry bad memories anymore. I loved my time in the military. Unfortunately, I was medically discharged, and with nowhere else to go, I went home. Things only got worse from there. I was very upset about moving back home. My mindset at the time guided me down a path of very bad decisions, which stained the town more in my mind.
A few months ago, I decided that I needed to leave. I packed the few things I owned, and moved 900 miles away, to a place I knew no one. I thought it would be liberating. I had been to the place before, and I thought I loved it. The mountains were a big change from all of the cornfields and grass. I was convinced that I would be happier.
Now I am here, and I have no one. I know no one. I have tried to make friends, but I have been very unsuccessful. I believe at this point that something must be wrong with me. It seems like people do not want to talk to me.
I had no family growing up, I moved out of my father's house when I was 15, and never spoke to my family after that. I've only ever had two girlfriends, and they were both very short lived. I thought I knew what it was like to be alone. I had no idea. These past few months have been hell. I have not had a face to face conversation with anyone who wasn't obligated to talk to me (apartment manager, gym staff) in months. I believe that I am losing my mind.
I currently have 11 more months on my lease, and I feel trapped. I do not know what to do. Going back would just put me back in that mental state I was in, and staying here does not seem like the move. I do not know what to do. I am not sure why I am even sharing all of this with you guys, I think I just need someone to hear my thoughts so they aren't trapped in my head anymore. Thank you for reading, I'm sorry this was so long.
TL;DR: moved across the country to a place I do not know anyone, now I am unsure what to do.
https://redd.it/1p9alom
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by puking into my purse
I was standing in line at old navy and was extremely nauseous. I wanted to step out of line but it was literally wrapped all the way around the store and I was only a few people away from checking out. I tried as hard as I could to keep it in but did not succeed. In a panic I just opened up my bag and ralphed. A group of people saw and wouldn’t stop whispering and staring. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed. I asked for an empty bag, exclaiming I think I’m pregnant in hopes that group would have a little sympathy, but who knows if they heard. On the way home I puked into that spare bag but it was a thin paper bag and the puke just soaked right through onto my pants. I peed my pants while puking (moms, iykyk) too. Why I thought it was worth standing in line to buy my stuff is beyond me.
Oh yeah, and I think I might be pregnant.
TL;DR: I puked into my purse and peed my pants at old navy
https://redd.it/1p90x7m
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by confusing an artisanal soap sample for a piece of gourmet jelly at the farmer's market
Tldr: I was starving, saw colorful little cubes labeled "Free Samples," and immediately ate one. It was lavender-scented, hand-milled soap. My brain short-circuited and my mouth foamed up right in front of the horrified vendor.
Okay, I need to know if anyone else’s hunger completely shuts off their brain. I went to the farmer's market this morning, skipped breakfast, and was vibrating with low blood sugar.
I was trying to find the pastry stand but passed this table full of bath products—lotions, candles, the whole deal. I was just walking by, but then my eyes locked onto a small tray. It had these perfect, colorful, square cubes. Like little pieces of fancy fudge or fruit jelly. There was a sign above it that just said, "Free Samples!"
I didn't stop, I didn't read anything. I just reached out, grabbed a purple cube that looked exactly like grape jelly, and jammed the whole thing into my mouth. I was already halfway down the aisle.
The instant I bit down, it was like a jump scare. It wasn't soft; it was dense and chalky. And the taste was so wrong. It was bitter, aggressively floral, and tasted exactly how air freshener smells. Before I could process it, it started foaming up because of my saliva.
I had to stop walking and just stand there, eyes wide, struggling to chew and spit it out into my hand, trying not to look like a rabies patient. The vendor, this sweet older lady, saw me struggling and ran over, yelling, "Oh my God, honey, are you okay?!"
I could barely manage to whisper, "I thought it was food," while frantically trying to wipe the purple bubbles off my chin. She pointed to the sign next to the tray that said, in tiny letters, "NEW SOAP SCENTS."
I grabbed a bottle of water just to wash away the flavor, but I'm still smelling and tasting lavender. I had to leave the market because I was dying of embarrassment.
https://redd.it/1p8ycfe
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by transporting my thanksgiving dessert in an insulated container
So yesterday for thanksgiving, I offered to bring a dessert in addition to arriving early to help with the cooking. I settled on making blondies since 3/4 other desserts that were being made were chocolate based and my wife can’t have too much chocolate. I make the blondies at home, take them out of the oven and eat one to test if they needed more time, then baked for another 5 minutes to finish them off. As soon as those 5 minutes were done, I took the container out and let it cool for a few minutes, then covered the ceramic cooking container with foil and put it in an insulated bag. We immediately drove down to my parents’ house 45 minutes away, and when we got there I took the blondies out of the insulated container.
Clue 1 that something had gone wrong: The whole drive down there, the car smelled amazing. We remarked several times that the blondies smelled like they were fresh out of the oven, and the scent seemed to get stronger as we drove.
Clue 2 that something had gone wrong: When I opened the container, I couldn’t pull the blondies out, the baking dish had very slightly melted the insulated container material and imprinted the baking dish logo into the container. I figured that it had been just a bit too hot and that I needed to cook it off more next time.
After peeling the baking dish out, I let it sit on the counter until dessert time. When that time came, I went to get the first Blondie.
Clue 3 that something had gone wrong: I had pre-cut 8 blondies in the baking dish so I tried to pull one out with a fork and was having a really hard time getting it out. I attributed this to the fact that I used cooking spray instead of butter to grease the dish.
When I went to cut off the first piece of my Blondie, the knife couldn’t put a scratch on it and made an awful grinding noise as I tried. The whole table collectively hushed to look at my rock solid Blondie as I tried to saw through it. I reasoned that the issue was because it was a corner piece and I was trying to cut one of the edges, so I went back and got a piece with fewer edges and tried to bite into it directly, and while I was able to bite through it, it was the densest, hardest, driest baked good I’ve ever eaten.
I immediately took them off the table and hid them away in an area where nobody would try to take any, then tried to work out what had happened. Eventually I figured it out.
By placing my blondies almost directly from the oven into my insulated container, combined with the fact that my baking dish is a ceramic that retains heat well, I baked the blondies for an extra 45 minutes over their 30 minute baking time.
Now I have a permanent reminder melted into my insulated container.
TL;DR: Turned my blondies into rocks on accident and permanently damaged my insulated container.
https://redd.it/1p8vowy
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by wearing my normal clothes to a work dinner
I work at this place since May, so I'm pretty new.
I'm a goth and my fashion sense is a bit eccentric. Not in the way that I wear white face paint and toupee my hair but in the "always overdressed, frills and bows all day and never wears pants" way. Say Victorian gothic. Also completely dressed in black with maybe a few color accents when I feel like it.
At work I follow the dress code; boring, tasteless plain clothing ordered from SHEIN in the happy colors brown and beige. No offense but it feels horrid wearing them. Like SpongeBob in that episode where he's "normal".
I know it may sound edgy but wearing plain clothes has always been uncomfortable to me.
My coworkers decided on a Christmas dinner, which would take place in a small group of 9-10 people at a restaurant in town.
Because it's a private meeting and everyone said they'd wear their "normal pretty clothes" (their words, not mine) I decided to wear mine as well.
Mind you, I don't have any normal clothes besides my few pieces that I wear at work, so I wouldn't even have fancy non-black/non-goth attire.
I decided to go for a Christmas black/red combination, picking a black blouse, fluffy skirt and red bolero which fit the little red ribbon I put in my hair.
Light makeup without lipstick because eating and black ballerinas.
At the restaurant everyone wore something casual. Fuck. Literally jeans, maybe a pretty jacket but that's it. I was sticking out very badly.
My coworkers were shocked when they saw me, looked at each other in a telling way, one even laughing and going "Okaaaay, guess OP really takes this seriously!".
Now add whispering after I left for the restroom and quick stopping of whispering when they noticed me coming back.
Oh welp, this place doesn't pay that well anyways.
TL;DR: Wore goth fashion to a work related Christmas dinner, unintentionally became a hot topic
https://redd.it/1p8pt5x
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU after I discovered my favourite food combo completely took an accident, and now my roommate thinks I need therapy.
TIFU, So this happened last night.
I came home after a horrible day, traffic, deadlines, passive-aggressive emails, the full combo. I was starving but too tired to cook anything real. I opened the fridge like my life would magically get better if I stared long enough.
There was literally nothing except leftover curd rice, Maggie masala noodles, and a tiny pack of pickle.
I don’t know what possessed me, but I mixed all three together... yes, curd rice + Maggie + pickle and ate it.
And it was… insanely good. Like shockingly good. I sat there questioning my entire identity because how did that taste better than half the food I’ve ever ordered?
My roommate walked in right at the moment I was taking a proud second bowl and looked at me like she was witnessing a crime. She still refuses to sit next to me and keeps telling people we need an intervention.
Now I’m scared to ask this in real life so I’m asking strangers on Reddit:
What’s the weirdest food combination you absolutely love and swear by?
I really need proof I’m not the only broken one.
TL;DR: I mixed curd rice + Maggi + pickle out of hunger and exhaustion, and it turned out so ridiculously good that I’m questioning my life choices. Now my roommate thinks I need therapy, so I’m here asking if anyone else has an embarrassing food combo they secretly love.
https://redd.it/1p8j72h
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU my Thanksgiving dinner by accidentally creating a turkey battery.
I marinated the turkey yesterday morning and placed it in a brass tray that has an iron rack so the turkey could rest there inside the tray. The rack is black, but it seems that after washing it over time, the black coating chipped off in some areas. I covered the marinated turkey with aluminum foil. Come this morning, I went to take it out, the aluminum foil had disintegrated on top of the turkey.
It oxidized due to the galvanic reaction between the aluminum, brass, and the iron where the now conductive turkey skin was resting on. I had to remove the skin from the top part of the turkey where the aluminum oxide singed to the skin.
Worst of all, the salt stayed on the surface of the turkey and not enough of it diffused deep enough.
TL;DR: TIFU by cooking a bland turkey due to an unexpected electrochemical reaction that created a battery.
https://redd.it/1p8hgdz
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by not doing BLS properly
Tw: death
My (25F) grandfather (85M) has passed away a few days ago. He has many comorbidities and has been hospitalized for a month for a viral infection and arrhythmia. He refused to do a procedure for his heart condition. He had a cardiac arrest at home so we contacted 911 and I began chest compressions. At some point around 300 compressions the operator asked me to give 2 breaths and i did them but was so grossed out (im BLS certified too)
He only survived for one day with endotracheal intubation and passed the next day due to cardiac arrest. I was told he had brain insults due to insufficient oxygen
I’m always thinking if only i gave more rescue breaths. I feel so selfish but i feel nauseous every time i think about rescue breath
TL;DR:
I think i killed my grandpa with improper CPR
https://redd.it/1p885jv
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by agreeing to go on a double date with mybest friend (A shit show).
Part 1: Aquiring the Date.
So back in 2020/2021 (Peak Covid) my bestie and I (Both F21 at the time) were some pretty lonely bitches and decided to take a look at Tinder to see what all the fuss was about 😅 To set the scene we were two fairly shy girls with absolutely no boy experience and we were not ones to sleep around (No shame just wasn't our cup of tea.)
My bestie (We'll call her Jasmine) was alot more shy than me. Not gonna lie, I coddled her a little bit. But she and I were talking to some guys and she really liked hers. He asked her out and she said yes, then panicked immediately because she didn't want to go alone. It was going to be her first official date and she wanted me there.
Well, I had my guy in mind and told her I wouldn't be opposed to doing a double date with her in the hopes it would break the ice easier with a double date.
Fuck up #1:
I was an idiot and a little desperate for some sort of experience in the dating scene so I matched with a guy on Tinder-WITH ONLY ONE PHOTO of HIM POSTED-in his military uniform. We talked for a while and he was a pretty nice guy so thought I'd ask him to join the double date, and he agreed.
Well, the day before the date comes and he messages me distraught, saying that he wrecked his car. He is devastated and was so sad that he wouldn't be able to go on the date.
Fuck up #2:
I told him, "Hey man, no worries, if you want, I can go pick you up." THIS MAN I HAD ONLY KNOWN FOR A WEEK-ONLY SEEN ONE PHOTO of -AND THAT I MET ON TINDER! But, I was a stupid kid and was embarrassed that I couldn't find another date, and didn't want to let Jasmine down.
Welp, my guy agrees and I'm so happy. He sent me his address and was estatic.
Fuck up #3:
The next morning I get up and head to Jasmine's house to pick her up cause she wanted to car pool to the date, which I didn't mind so she could come with me to pick up the guy. I'm messaging him all morning and he's NOT responding, and I'm thinking-well, he's a guy...so maybe he's still asleep.
Tell me why I drove all the way to his house, cause remember, he gave me his address last night. Surely he wants to still go, right?
We are driving for 30 minutes straight out into the country. Jasmine and I have no idea where we are, ehat the hell we're doing, but we just go with it.
Finally, I pull up to a house and this shady ass MF is sitting outsidr the house smoking a cigarette. I was not about to pull up all the way in that driveway. (First smart thing I do lmao). So I got out of my car and yelled from my door, "Hey, is "Chad" here?" He looks annoyed as all hell, takes his sweet time and eventually goes in and calls Chad to come out, then immediately re-exits to watch.
And...remember how Chad only had one photo of himself online? Yeah...that photo was a reach and taken years earlier. He looked nothing like his photo and honestly, he smelt awful. I was so embarrassed and just wanted to get out of there ASAP.
Chad just looked at me in shock and uncomfortable like I was the weirdo and said, "Hey....you came..."
I was still confused and in shock, but responded, "Yeah, you gave me your address and told me to come get you last night..."
He proceeds to say, "Yeah but I figured you wouldn't come cause I didn't respond."
Which, I stared blankly in awkward silence. Finally he says he can't go after all and I was RELIEVED. I immediately reassured him that it was completely okay and practically floored it out of there. Jasmine and I laughing, baffled at the whole experience.
And I made a mental note to never be this stupid again...
Part 2: The "double" Date.
So let recall the fact that this was STILL SUPPOSED TO BE A DOUBLE DATE. Jasmine still had her date coming and she was still scared to go alone and wanted me to join. I tried to protest, telling her I would be a third wheel, but she insisted. So..I caved.
Fuck up #4:
We go to the restaurant and I have to awkwardly explain to this guy, "Mark" that my date was no longer coming. I introduced myself and we
TIFU by forgetting that my phone automatically backs up photos
Last night, my girlfriend and I were texting… in the “private zone” of the relationship.
Nothing explicit, but let’s just say she sent me a photo that was very close to crossing that line.
The kind where you instantly lock your phone afterwards out of sheer panic.
I saved it without thinking.
And completely forgot that my phone has auto-backup enabled to a shared family device.
Fast forward to this morning.
I walked into the living room and froze.
My dad was sitting on the sofa, holding the family iPad, staring at me like I’d personally ruined his blood pressure.
My mom wasn’t even looking at me, she was doing that slow, disappointed headshake Indian moms do when they’re mentally rewriting your entire upbringing.
Then my dad cleared his throat and asked:
“Is this… your friend?”
I didn’t even look. I knew exactly which photo it was.
My brain short-circuited. I started saying words that didn’t belong in any language. I felt sheer chill down my spine.
My mom finally said, in the calmest, deadliest tone:
“You’re old enough to have a girlfriend.
But maybe… keep your private things PRIVATE.”
Then she slid the iPad across the table toward me like it was a crime scene exhibit.
And the worst part?
My girlfriend texted me five minutes later saying:
“🥺 Did your parents see it? Haha that would be so bad.”
I didn’t even know how to answer.
TL;DR:
So yeah, today I fucked up by accidentally uploading my girlfriend’s “almost-not-safe” photo to the family iPad.
https://redd.it/1pab0gj
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU not knowing what the middle finger meant
When I was younger I watched a lot of GTA videos on YouTube because they were chaotic, exciting, unpredictable, and filled with ridiculous, hilarious, and totally random moments that kept me entertained without making me feel like I was watching too much. Sometimes the characters would use that blurred middle finger emote, and even though it was censored, the gesture still stood out to me every single time I saw it. After seeing it appear in several videos repeatedly, the image stuck in my mind way more than I expected. A couple days later, without thinking about it at all, I walked up to my MOM and flipped her off, and she looked completely stunned, shocked, and totally speechless, and she told me never, ever to do that again under any circumstances.
TL;DR: I watched chaotic GTA videos as a kid, saw the blurred middle finger emote a lot, and a few days later I mimicked it to my mom, shocking her.
https://redd.it/1pa4sha
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by getting my dream car
Ok so this happened over a year ago now, but i'm still dealing with the effects, i doubt they'll subside anytime soon, i mean it's been a whole year, i'm also not going to say the make and model of the car, because i'm not showing off, all i will say it was my attainable dream car, it's not new, and it cost less then a new hatchback, to most people it's just a car.
At first parents and siblings were feeling very good for me, 'congratulations' 'you got it' and all that jazz, i'd spent five years of my life waiting for this moment.
Then everything would quiet down and i can enjoy life with my car, or so i thought.
You see, one of the things i'd known before getting was that it's quite big, it's super big like rolls royce phantom or caddy escalade size, it's along the lines of a decent saloon, think skoda superb or around the size of a hyundai ioniq 5, i thought this wouldn't be a problem, my parents used to drive some absolute tanks and people are used to seeing bigger cars these days, but my parents left SUVs behind about 10 years ago because of increasing fuel prices, they're into compact SUVs these days.
So seeing a car noticably bigger in their drive started them off about the size of it, the former tank commanders have not stopped going on about the size of my 'barge' 'boat' 'oversized car' 'small p mobile' and so on
And because it brings me joy, somewhere along the line someone started a rumour that i'm showing off with it, so now it's all about how i'm making myself a target to be mugged and how 'low class' this showing off is
They don't like the fact it makes me happy, i have to pull poker faces, because i disagree with what they say about it, apparently i'm a 'violent narcissist' they constantly try to belittle me by doing the parent company thing (think calling an audi a volkswagon) and it's made of aluminum and i'm pretty sure gallium was mentioned one time or another.
My brothers who were originally impressed at me have now turned against it, one keeps saying i bought a counterfeit and the other one has developed a full on childish adversion to it 'i don't like it' after he managed to break the door handle after i got it
Oh and they found all the maintanance manuals for it and go 'this parts expensive' 'that parts expensive' 'oh look you've got this overpriced feature'
I have tried to explain to them but they don't care.
So i guess i'll keep on enjoying my car, or according to them, being a low class show off with too small male anatomy and too big of a car
When i was a teenager i wore gold plated chains and all sorts and they didn't care, yet apparently a car that isn't even very high end is an absolute show off.
If ever someone asks me what it's like to have your dream car, i tell them this.
TL;DR: I bought a car because i liked it, my parents won't stop claiming i'm using it to show off and making up childish rumours even though it's not even a super nice car
https://redd.it/1p9ungh
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU but things got sorted somehow.
So, I got up out of bed this morning, when I first opened my eyes, I immediately felt dizzy but I had to get up to get my day started but I weren’t too motivated for it.
So, I got out and my mouth felt dry, so, I made my way to the sink, where I filled up a kettle with enough water for 1.5 cups to be boiled, little did I know there was slightly less, and this ratio of liquid was perfect for a faster boiling time anyway because the kettle can take a couple hours to boil if the ratio is wrong.
So, I then made my way to the window with a cup of coffee I made, plus ignoring my gut instinct to go to the toilet, like literally ignoring my needs to release a poop. And sat and had a coffee by the window and I checked over some updates or whatever on my phone.
So, because I had ignored my gut instinct previously, to go to the toiled initially. I then went there after I had woken up with a coffee, so, I just had to use the toilet when I finally decided to go there.
Little did I know, the main problem was the knots I tied around my waist, It was far too tightened for a quick release, so, I was there for 10 minutes just jumping around trying to untie an impossible knot, it was super awkward to hold in my poop without releasing out my butt into my pants.
So, then, finally I got free after going to the mechanic shop and the guy welded my pants off so I went back home and let out a seriously massive, king king, super bomb, jimmy neutron, mega tron, misty, fart, piles and pellets of poop stacking to the ceiling & blocking the bathroom completely, there was just a mess everywhere and stinky, true toxic waste pollution.
So, I just picked up the phone, I had to call the emergency line and immediately I was transferred to the police department where they handled my sticky situation quite swiftly. I was sent 3 of the best plumbers in the country to flush my toilet of this super massive turd.
TL;DR Just saying what happened.
https://redd.it/1p9rtbb
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by trying to take a shower
So this actually happened today and it was the Most crazy thing in my life . I was at home, about to shower after cooking. A little food got on my shirt but it was no big deal cause i was about to shower anyway.. so i wiped it off, still stained tho. I turned on the gas boiler because obviously im not showering with cold water. I put some oil in my hair (i always do that besorge i shower), took off my bra and then the water was still cold. so I sat on my bed scrolling on my phone. And then… I bled through my pants onto my bed. 😭 I was about to change but first I needed to change my pad. I go to the bathroom and in the process i put the bloody pad on the floor. And then suddenly i hear a loud bang. The gas boiler made a loud noise. Water was leaking everywhere. I turned it off but my lungs started burning and I felt like I was going to pass out. I panicked because my cat was here too so I grab my cat and run outside. Im standing there in Hello Kitty pajamas a stained tshirt, oily hair, no bra, no socks, no shoes… basically a mess😭😭Neighbor called the landlord. Next thing I know, the fire department and police AND the ambulance all show up. 😭 Everyone had to evacuate. And since its winter now i didn’t shaved so I looked like a monkey(im a woman..!only my arms were half shaved for my pullies so the hair wouldn’t peek out(Hope I worded it Right help😭😭) firemen went inside didn’t find any gas. My bedroom was a disaster bloody pad on the floor, sheets stained and they saw it probably . I was standing outside looking like a complete disaster. I have never felt more exposed and ridiculous in my life.
TL;DR: I was about to shower, bled through my pants, put a bloody pad on the floor, had oily hair, no bra, cold water, half shaved arms and then the boiler made a loud bang so I ran outside with my cat in Hello Kitty pajamas looking like a winter monkey. The fire department, police, and neighbors showed up while my bedroom was a total bloody disaster.
https://redd.it/1p9lw69
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by giving false hope
Today was the end of my shift as a student nurse. Earlier, I was tasked to take vital signs of a classmates patient. While taking her VS she asked me "Is there a chance of survival for babies even after the water bag broke?" I was shocked I didnt know what to say. I told her that yes there is a chance and possibility.
After going back to our station, I looked up to her chart and it says "inevitable abortion". I fucking fucked up. I wanna go there and explain to her. But i was weak i didnt have the guts to do so. How can I tell that it is not applicable to her case.
I wanna say sorry to her. I wanna go and explain to her. Im so mad. Im so mad that I didnt have the courage to correct my mistake at that moment. Now, i dont have the chance to correct it.
I fucking doubted. I know that I should not act when unsure but I still fucking did.
TL;DR: I told a patient whos diagnosis "inevitable abortion" that theres a chance for babies to survive after the water bag broke.
https://redd.it/1p9e40q
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by using my shower playlist as my work meeting mic
So I work from home in a tiny apartment and my favorite thing in the morning is a stupidly loud shower playlist on a bluetooth speaker. Yesterday I had a recurring check in with my team at 9, camera optional, so I figured I’d just join on my laptop muted, start the meeting, then hop in the shower real quick while they went over some boring metrics. I checked twice that I was muted, grabbed my towel, music already playing from my phone. About five minutes in I notice the music sounds kind of weird, like it is echoing, but I ignore it and start belting along to some truly cursed early 2000s pop, adding my own horrible adlibs. When I get out, my phone is full of Teams notifications and one DM from my manager that just says “you are not on mute”. Turns out my phone had decided to connect as an audio source to the meeting, overriding the laptop, so the entire team listened to me doing a private concert plus very unflattering commentary about the project while I thought I was alone. They renamed the meeting series to “karaoke sync”. TL;DR joined a call muted on my laptop, phone stole the mic and I gave my whole team a naked concert.
https://redd.it/1p905fo
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU: Lied about my bfs race in a job interview, and now my potential future boss wants to meet him
It is pretty much as the title says, I had a job interview and told the interviewer (my potential future boss) that part of the reason I want/ need to learn Spanish is because my bf is from Argentina and is fluent in Spanish and so is his whole family, which is a partial lie, he is fluent in Spanish and I do want to learn he’s just not Argentinian he’s actually Canadian. I know it was wrong to lie, but I wanted the interviewer to really believe I have a desire to brush up on my Spanish (which I definitely do). Anyways now he wants to take both of us out to dinner (it’s a small company so this isn’t too unusual I guess) and I don’t know how to confront this lie. Do I fess up? Have him fake sick? Somehow skate my way out of it? I know this was a huge misstep on my part but I am not sure how to get out of it and any advice is appreciated.
TLDR: lied in an interview and said my boyfriend is Argentinian when he is really Canadian and now my potential future boss wants to meet him…
https://redd.it/1p8zf7h
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU By breaking my ankle on Thanksgiving
This is a real mess up, guys. Like the sheer stupidity on my decision might’ve completely messed me up for awhile.
So this one’s pretty short. I 23M didn’t do this at thanksgiving as I probably would’ve gotten help much sooner. I was at my mother’s house a few hours after leaving thanksgiving at my grandparents. After sundown, it was quite cold so I decided I wanted to make a campfire in the backyard. I saw an extra juicy, supposedly dry rotted stick I wanted to add to the pile, so I picked it up, tried to break it by smacking it against a tree. This didn’t work so my totally sober brain decided to lean it up against a tree at a 45 degree angle and kick it. This still didn’t work so then I proceeded to jump on the branch full force. Upon impact, I felt a HUGE pop in my left ankle like I rolled it harder than I ever have in my life. The pain was instant so I ran back inside and began SCREAMING.
No obvious deformity so after the worst of the pain subsided, I laid in bed while watching my sister got me what I needed (best sister a guy could ask for) and my gf is a nurse, so she freaked out too when I told her, begged me to go to the ER so I did. Literally nobody could take me so as a last resort, I called my dad. He is the best dad ever, so he picked me up, and drove me to the ER despite having barely gotten any sleep the night before. We waited at the ER for awhile with me still being in agony while I got some scans done. I noticed that I couldn’t put any weight on my foot whatsoever. Eventually they were like “yep, it’s broken” due to the swelling and results of the imaging. I broke my left tibia, and tore a bunch of ligaments. I’m currently typing this as I have a cast on my left leg so yay :)
TL;DR I tried to be a tough guy by stomping on a log to break it. The log won.
Lesson learned. Guys, don’t try to be macho, just use a freaking saw.
https://redd.it/1p8vn7o
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by not taking care of my self and needing multiple extractions.
Yesterday concluded the last of my 10 dental extractions over the last three weeks. For years I was overconsuming sugary drinks, never brushing my teeth and just letting myself go. In total I have had to get 10 extractions over the last three weeks because of years of not taking care of them. I also have a follow up to check the sutures in two weeks and in a couple of months I have to go back for cosmetics, mostly fillings and root treatment and there's no talk about partials either. So learn from me, brush your teeth even if it's just once a day, take care of yourself, you are worth more than you let yourself think. Don't be like me, under 30 and missing over half my teeth and finding it hard to eat, you can do great things and I believe in you.
TLDR didn't take care of my self, had ten teeth taken out in three weeks, got 5 more appointment and none of them are about partials.
https://redd.it/1p8rxdy
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by spitting on someone
Today I had one of the worst days of my life and I just felt like I couldn’t win,bad breakfast,getting bullied and then no lunch and a failed test.I then went to lunch and got harassed by a gaggle of girls and spilled sweet tea all over my pants too.I finally got to PE and played basketball against a guy who made the team last week and he was joking me about getting cut while whooping me.I was still really bitter about what I believed to be bullshit and also proceeded to go 0/50 and miss every single shot I took.Meanwhile he’s fouling me and complaining I foul when I touch him while just being really pissy in general.The whole time I’m fighting the urge to say fuck it and just swing at him but something he said finally pushed me over the edge so I threw him to the ground and spit on him while telling him to do something about it.Afterwards I had track and had one of the most painful workouts of my life.I finally got home and my mom was yelling at me again for something else I did and I just feel like there’s no point.
TL;DR:I had a horrible day and got taunted for getting cut from the basketball team by a guy who made it.I threw him to the ground and spit on him.
https://redd.it/1p8jufh
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by flipping of my college professor.
For context: my sister and I have this dumb little tradition where instead of waving goodbye, we jokingly flip each other off. It’s our weird sibling love language. Totally harmless between us, but obviously not something you’d want to do in public… especially in front of authority figures.
Anyway, I was leaving class, feeling good about myself, and my professor was standing by the door. He gave me a friendly nod as I walked past. My brain, for some reason, decided this was the perfect moment to bust out my “goodbye” gesture. Without thinking, I raised my hand and gave him the good old middle finger salute.
The second it left my hand, I realized what I’d done. His face went from polite-professor-smile to absolute confusion. I panicked, tried to turn it into a wave, but it was too late—the damage was done.
I stammered something like, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, that’s how I say goodbye to my sister!” Which, let’s be real, did not make me sound any less insane.
He just kind of chuckled awkwardly and said, “Well… I’ll take that as a compliment?” before walking away.
So yeah. Today I fucked up by accidentally flipping off my professor. On the bright side, I’ll probably never forget this class—or how important it is to keep family traditions at home.
TL;DR: Accidentally flipped off my professor while leaving class because that’s how my sister and I say goodbye. Tried to play it off as a wave, failed miserably, and now I’m the student who salutes with the middle finger
https://redd.it/1p8j911
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by accidentally making my entire extended family think I'm a drug dealer
I've been selling on eBay for like 6 months now, mostly electronics and vintage stuff I find at thrift stores. Nothing crazy but I've been making decent side money and actually managed to save up a couple hundred bucks which felt pretty good. Anyways I keep all my inventory in these white plastic bags in my car trunk cause I'm too lazy to bring them inside.
At the wedding earlier this month I parked kinda far and my aunt needed her phone charger from her car. I offered to grab it since I was heading out anyway to get something from mine. I pop my trunk and there's literally like 15 white plastic bags stuffed with random electronics, cords, old ipods, you name it. I grab what I need and close it.
Apparently my uncle saw me and caught a glimpse of me shutting a trunk full of white bags. He tells my other uncle. They tell my mom. By the time I get back inside for dinner theres this weird vibe and people keep giving me looks. Finally my mom pulls me aside all concerned and asks if "everything is okay" and if I "need help with anything." Im so confused until she straight up asks if I'm selling drugs. Turns out half my family now thinks those bags are full of pills or something. I've been treating my family to dinner more often lately since I actually have some money saved aside for once, and apparently that just made them more suspicious. Like me picking up the tab at restaurants was somehow proof I was dealing. My mom literally said "we noticed you've been spending more" like it was evidence lmao.
I had to literally show them my eBay account and explain what I actually do. My cousin was dying laughing but my grandma still looks at me weird. Pretty sure Thanksgiving is gonna be awkward as hell now.
TL;DR sold stuff on eBay, kept inventory in white bags in my trunk, started treating family to dinners with my savings, they connected the dots wrong and thought I was a drug dealer
https://redd.it/1p8abo2
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by messing with a "Spammer"
Obligatory this didnt happen today but a week or so ago.
I'm from Germany where nobody uses SMS. The entirety of my SMS app consists of mailbox notifications and spammer/scammer messages.
I received an SMS from a number I dont have in my contacts. Typical message along the lines of "im currently in India, please write to me here or on whatsapp" - so THE typical scammer message.
Since I was a bit bored, I decided to reply. Nothing too awful, just the typical "man that must suck" type of trolling.
And they kept replying, and while their replies weren't immidiate red flags they still felt a bit weird.
At some point I must have annoyed him pretty badly, cause he asked whom I am. At that point I thought for the first time ever that something was a bit weird, because otherwise they usually dont ask stuff like that.
Well I decided to Google the number. And as it turns out, it was the phone number of my flashlight sales guy. I dont have him in my contacts(I have a flashlight problem but not that bad) when I google him and phone him my phone turns the number into his business name so its not like I know his number by heart.
I was very very very sorry. Well first I wanted to disappear in the ground, but then I was very sorry. As it turns out he is on holiday, that was why I couldn't reach him hours earlier and why he sent me a message saying he was in India.
Haven't contacted him again since, hope he enjoys his holidays
TL;DR I thought I was messing with a scammer but it was my favorite sales guy
https://redd.it/1p83p4b
@r_channels_tifu