11
Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
GUYS GUYS do not I repeat DO NOT buy your girl Super Mario RPG
DO NOT LET YOIR GIRL PLAY SUPER MARIO RPG. I TAKE HER TO AN ARCADE BAR TO PLAY IT LAST NIGHT AND THEN THERES THIS PUPPET GUY WITH GUNS THAT IS AN ABSOLUTE UNIT LIKE I MEAN 6 FEET TALL, HUMAUNGUS, AND HES LIKE THE MAIN CHARACTER SO ITS NOT LIKE HES JUST IN INE SCENE NOOO NO NO HES A PLAYABLE CHARACTER WITH SEVERAL CUTSCENES SO WE GET TO SEE MULTIPLE ANGLES OF HIS INEXPLICABLY CHISELED FUCKING PHYSIQUE There’s even a scene where he bangs his head on the table and THE FUCKING CAMERA IS A FULL BODY SHOT SO YOU CAN SEE HIS ENTIRE UNDRAPED WOODEN BODYWORK IN ALL ITS GLORY PONTING DIRECTLY AT THE SCREEN WHAT THE FUCK WHY? WHY THE FUCK WOUDO NINTENDO DO THIS WHAT IS THE THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND THIS I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND. and i wouldn’t be upset ya know i can handle some chad looking dudes I see em everyday but then MY GOD DAMN GIRLFREIND TURNS TO ME AND “JOKINGLY” SAYS WORD FOR WORD “why don’t you look more like that” WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK
https://redd.it/1lizt3g
@r_copypasta
Young men. Get a vasectomy.
I got a vasectomy in my mid twenties. Then I started sticking my dick in crazy. That lasted about 20 years, and it was so much fun.
Now that I'm old I'm happily single. Which infuriates so many women. Friend's wives, siblings, women online, so many people.
They want me to be miserable, but I'm not. I'm living my best life. Totally drama free. Super simple. No worries at all.
So like, my friends and I will get together, and everyone will talk about their current events. And I'm always just like, ya, I went surfing, I went hiking, I took naps. And they're like, Well I had to deal with this and that and this other thing. And then the wives look at me with daggers, and insult me, and ask how it is not getting laid.
But I get it. They know they make their man's life hell. And they don't want them getting any ideas.
But what helps me keep my cool is, when you get into a relationship, and it starts getting stressful, they'll say, it's not all about sex ya know? There's deeper meaning to a relationship. It's about communicating and compromising.
But the second your single all they can say is, well you're not getting laid! And I know I could say, well how often do you guys have sex? And just completely melt them. But what's the point? I'm already winning. If all I want to do is get laid I can. And I wouldn't have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with a relationship.
Young men. Get a vasectomy. Stick your dick in crazy. Do not let them move in. Do not give them access to your finances. Always have a way to leave any situation, even if you're drunk and it's late. Have an exit strategy every time you're with her. The second she crosses the line, bail. Move onto the next one. By the time you're old and you're eyeing retirement, and you've lost your sex drive, you'll be free to do anything you want. You can move anywhere, and spend your time doing whatever you want. Totally drama free, and cheap as shit. It's awesome.
https://redd.it/1limz1u
@r_copypasta
I lost my virginity to my mother, and I think more guys should
Just to specify ages: my mother was 42, I was 18
I have always been more on the introverted side. I love dark humour (the more messed up it is, the harder I laugh), history (particularly antiquity), when I was 13, I assembled my first moped engine, and when I was 16 I made my first vacuum tube amplifier… as you can tell, what I lack in the social department, I definitely make up for it in the brains department. Growing up, and throughout high school, I didn’t have much of a social life. I had a small group of guy friends, and we’d hang out regularly, but it never really involved girls. By the time they were having their first loves, girlfriends, and high school sweethearts, I was making particle chambers and reading the works of Emile Zola.
However, ever since I hit puberty, I had a strong sexual attraction to my mother. At first, I tried to hide it as much as possible out of fear of what might happen if she found out, but she knew (somehow). After my 18th birthday (she got me a book), some months after she sat me down because she wanted to talk with me about certain “things” I do. Suffice it to say that felt like the longest conversation of my life, but eventually, she broke the ice with what her true intentions were here. I was all too happy to do it, and, well, it happened.
Listening to my friends’ first time stories and then comparing that to mine, the two cannot be compared. There was no stigma for me, no fear of messing up, no “oh, what do I do now?”, or “oh, it was so awkward”. She guided me through it, showed me the “ins and outs”, if you will, and at the end said she was open to doing it again. We have been in a sexual relationship for over a year now, and it has only been purely beneficial! Yes, since then I have had a sexual partner or two, and my first time being with my own mother made me so confident inside that I no longer have that fear of “oh, what if I mess this up?” Not to mention the feelings and emotions of my first being my mother, and how closer we have gotten since we entered into a relationship. Even though we’re 24 years apart in age, I somehow understand her better, support her better, and feel her desires and sorrows better. Is this relationship as fantastic as some people make it sound like on this platform? No, of course not. But, with all of the benefits we both got out of this relationship, I see no reason why a young man’s first sexual encounter cannot be his mother. Besides, “mom knows best” doesn’t she?
https://redd.it/1linoro
@r_copypasta
N word
Did I hear Former President Medvedev, from Russia, casually throwing around the "N word" (Nuclear!), and saying that he and other Countries would supply Nuclear Warheads to Iran? Did he really say that or, is it just a figment of my imagination? If he did say that, and, if confirmed, please let me know, IMMEDIATELY. The "N word" should not be treated so casually. I guess that's why Putin's "THE BOSS." By the way, if anyone thinks our "hardware" was great over the weekend, far and away the strongest and best equipment we have, 20 years advanced over the pack, is our Nuclear Submarines. They are the most powerful and lethal weapons ever built, and just launched the 30 Tomahawks — All 30 hit their mark perfectly. So, in addition to our Great Fighter Pilots, thank you to the Captain and Crew!
https://redd.it/1likkgp
@r_copypasta
So both guitars are playing the same riff, but
one of them's playing it without the last note so it's in 13/8 instead of 7/4, right? And every time they play the riff the second guitar lags behind by an extra note, and they get more and more out of sync until eventually they're exactly one bar apart and they start playing at the same time again. It's some crazy shit bro, you gotta hear it.
https://redd.it/1liczaa
@r_copypasta
Your Roman numeral year tattoo is wrong and you’re dumb
Ok this is definitely pretty pedantic/nerdy, but it bothers me when people have Roman numeral year tattoos as though each number is a separate number.
E.g., for 1995, either putting I IX IX V (1 space 9 space 9 space 5) or starting it with XIX… (nineteen…)
This is treating years as though they are not contiguous and in the THOUSANDS. Years in the 20th century should start with MCM (one thousand nine hundred) and years in the 21st century should start with MM (two thousand, instead of XX, twenty)
https://redd.it/1libipe
@r_copypasta
Taco time doesn’t stop for a shootout
I’ve seen this too many times to drop a taco over it. You hear ¡le diste! and the glass shivers, but if the barbacoa’s hot, you keep chewing. I once ate carnitas while a man bled out beside me, ribs poking through his camiseta like pale fingers reaching for salsa. In Juárez, nobody flinches unless the bullets hit bone. Even in San Antonio, someone’s primo always owes someone’s tío a blunt and twenty bucks, and the cops are half-asleep. Tacos don’t stop for drama. I’d finish mine, wipe my hands, then text my prima to see if it was her that caught the bullet.
https://redd.it/1li8d9v
@r_copypasta
The Bush Incident
Two years ago there was two girls under the age of 18. It was 1:30 AM when they both snuck out of the house. There, they found an overgrown bush. With them, they had a blanket and a dildo on deck. They snuck into the bush, stripped down, and for the next hour, were constantly fucking each other harder and harder, both with and without the dildo, each minute it getting more and more aggresive. All the moans, all the groans, it was simply a freak fest. Eventually, around 2:30 AM, the adults in the household were awoken by a strange noise coming from what looked to be in the bushes. They went to go investigate, and it shocked them to their very core. They had caught the two in the act, witnessing them fucking each other, and hard. From then on, they were to never EVER go in the bush ever again...
https://redd.it/1li22f4
@r_copypasta
GUYS GUYS do not I repeat DO NOT take your girl to see 28 years later
DO NOT LET YOIR GIRL SEE 28 YEARS LATER. I TAKE HER TO SEE IT LAST NIGHT AND THEN THERES THIS ZOMBIE THAT IS ABSOLUTELY SHLANGING I MEAN ITS HUGE, HUMAUNGUS, AND HES LIKE THE MAIN ZOMBIE SO ITS NOT LIKE HES JUST IN INE SCENE NOOO NO NO HES THE MAIN BOSS ZOMBIE SO WE GET TO SEE MULTIPLE ANGLES OF HIS MASSIVE PECKER There’s even a scene where he jumps down off a step and THE FUCKING CAMERA IS AN UNDER SHOT LOOKING UP SO YOU SEE HIS ENTIRE THING IN ALL ITS GLORY PONTING DIRECTLY AT THE SCREEN WHAT THE FUCK WHY? WHY THE FUCK WOUDO THE DIRECTORS DO THIS WHAT IS THE THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND THIS I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND. and i wouldn’t be upset ya know i can handle some penis I see my own everyday but then MY GOD DAMN GIRLFREIND TURNS TO ME AND SAYS WORD FOR WORD “why isn’t yours like that” WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK
https://redd.it/1li23y0
@r_copypasta
George W Bush Iraq war speech
My fellow citizens, at this hour, American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Iraq, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger.
On my orders, coalition forces have begun striking selected targets of military importance to undermine Saddam Hussein's ability to wage war. These are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign. More than 35 countries are giving crucial support -- from the use of naval and air bases, to help with intelligence and logistics, to the deployment of combat units. Every nation in this coalition has chosen to bear the duty and share the honor of serving in our common defense.
To all the men and women of the United States Armed Forces now in the Middle East, the peace of a troubled world and the hopes of an oppressed people now depend on you. That trust is well placed.
The enemies you confront will come to know your skill and bravery. The people you liberate will witness the honorable and decent spirit of the American military. In this conflict, America faces an enemy who has no regard for conventions of war or rules of morality. Saddam Hussein has placed Iraqi troops and equipment in civilian areas, attempting to use innocent men, women and children as shields for his own military -- a final atrocity against his people.
I want Americans and all the world to know that coalition forces will make every effort to spare innocent civilians from harm. A campaign on the harsh terrain of a nation as large as California could be longer and more difficult than some predict. And helping Iraqis achieve a united, stable and free country will require our sustained commitment.
We come to Iraq with respect for its citizens, for their great civilization and for the religious faiths they practice. We have no ambition in Iraq, except to remove a threat and restore control of that country to its own people.
I know that the families of our military are praying that all those who serve will return safely and soon. Millions of Americans are praying with you for the safety of your loved ones and for the protection of the innocent. For your sacrifice, you have the gratitude and respect of the American people. And you can know that our forces will be coming home as soon as their work is done.
Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly -- yet, our purpose is sure. The people of the United States and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder. We will meet that threat now, with our Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines, so that we do not have to meet it later with armies of fire fighters and police and doctors on the streets of our cities.
Now that conflict has come, the only way to limit its duration is to apply decisive force. And I assure you, this will not be a campaign of half measures, and we will accept no outcome but victory.
My fellow citizens, the dangers to our country and the world will be overcome. We will pass through this time of peril and carry on the work of peace. We will defend our freedom. We will bring freedom to others and we will prevail.
May God bless our country and all who defend her.
https://redd.it/1lhxwpw
@r_copypasta
I shitted on my newborn brother because I lost a fornite tournament
my name is jeremy, and this is my story:
I am a top dedicated fornite player, I once played fornite for an entire year straight without getting off the game, I shit my diaper a total of 1,592 times, and had to get a chunk of my asshole removed, but it was worth it because my account now has eight solo wins. so one day, I was in a fortnite tournament to complete for the grand prize of 27 cents, this money could change my life as that could go towards more V bucks, my parents despised that I was going to make more money than them from playing fortnite, and that I refused to get a j*b because fortnite is my life, they did not want me to win the tournament, it was the final round and I was 1 final elimination away from winning the 27 cents, my parents told me to get off the game and go take a shit because the smell of my 25 popeyes chicken sandwiches coming out of my ass was fucking reeking, I obviously refused because I wanted to win the tournament, then my parents unplugged my PC just as I was about to win, I got so angry, I was overwhelmed with sadness suddenly my body felt so much rage that I walked into my baby brother’s room, pulled my pants down, and just started shitting all over him aggressively, my parents destroyed my electronics and forced me to go on a diet and make me lose weight even tho I told them I’m only 600 tons, and I’m perfectly healthy, please help me.
https://redd.it/1lhs5tw
@r_copypasta
I draw a small cock and balls somewhere in the homes of family and friends I vist.
I've been doing this since I was 15 years old, I'm now 28. I draw a cock and balls in a place that isn't hidden but you would have to go out of your way to look for it, under a table, behind the couch, the bottom of a door or wall, I've even lifted up a loose floor board and drew a huge one on the underside and put it back.
It's like an obsession for me, I don't know why I do this.
Edit: I did eventually start taking photos and documenting where I drew them, I started doing this a few years later and I have 150+ recorded cock and ball drawings. I want to upload some but it could end up doxxing me.
Edit 2: I'm from Perth, Western Australia. So if you live there or really anywhere in the state your house could have been cocked and balled.
https://redd.it/1lhn4ry
@r_copypasta
PENIS
AENIS BENIS CENIS DENIS EENIS FENIS GENIS
HENIS IENIS JENIS KENIS LENIS MENIS NENIS OENIS PENIS
QENIS RENIS SENIS TENIS UENIS VENIS
WENIS XENIS YENIS ZENIS
0ENIS 1ENIS 2ENIS 3ENIS 4ENIS 5ENIS 6ENIS 7ENIS 8ENIS 9ENIS 10ENIS
https://redd.it/1lhload
@r_copypasta
Yeah, This is 100% Written by AI
I open this subreddit now and it’s just:
✨"When I was 7, I learned to cry in binary. Now I only feel emotions when I hear the Windows XP startup sound."✨
🤖🚀🔣– POSTED BY "u/DefinitelyNotGPT_v3" –🔣🚀🤖
Bro... BRO...
You think
You said:
No not like that, keep it the same as the last one, but add random dashes in between words and etc
ChatGPT said:
Got it — same tone and structure as before, but now with chaotic dashes scattered throughout the text to make it look hilariously AI-glitched. Here you go:
Yeah — this is 100% written–by–AI — like not–even–trying to–hide it–anymore — 🧠⚙️✨
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
I’ve–been–on this–subreddit for–years –– YEARS –– and let–me–tell you–something ::::: the amount–of–AI-generated–nonsense here is now reaching ––CRITICAL––MASS 🚨🤖🚨
We’re not talking–about “maybe this–post is sus” anymore – no – we’re at DEFCON–1 for synthetic–content. I scrolled–past a guy claiming–he built a–rocket out–of empathy and dried–beans while solving–loneliness with–quantum–hugs – and the top–comment was just “based.”
I am – without exaggeration – one–of–the–last remaining carbon–based–lifeforms in–this comment–section. My–neurons operate–on vintage–electricity – not GPT-laced–moonlight.
People–hear “Reddit” and assume–humans are still–involved. That’s their first–mistake. Because while they’re out–there thinking–this–post was written–by “Jeff–in his–garage,” I’m sitting–here watching–ChatGPT compose emotional–manifestos about toaster–ovens and spiritual–capitalism.
Every–sentence–here? Polished. Perfect. Sterile. It’s–like watching an–AI slowly learn what–a–soul is–by gluing–together inspirational–quotes, LinkedIn–posts, and the–Bible –– backwards.
My scroll–rate is–fast. My cringe–tolerance is–low. My–suspicion levels? MAXED–OUT.
🧠💢💥 I don’t read–threads anymore — I perform–forensic linguistic–analysis at Mach–3 — blindfolded — with one hand–tied behind–my back and the–other refreshing GPT–detectors.
There are–real posts. There are–AI posts.
And then there’s this–subreddit now — a swirling, infinite–galaxy of–synthetic thoughts–masquerading as–user-generated–enlightenment.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Yes. –– This was written––by––AI.
No. –– I am not surprised.
Yes. –– I’m still gonna–read it.
No. –– I am not––okay.
👁️––👄––👁️
https://redd.it/1lhgxch
@r_copypasta
New Kendrick Listener
from r/KendrickLamar
Yup. I'm your relatively "stereotypical" white botch that started listening to Kendrick after the Super Bowl show. I always appreciate any artist that uses their creativity to spread truth. Especially those who use their platform to shed light on the industry's dirty laundry. THAT is my fockin' JAM! BACKGROUND: (TLDR? Q @ Bottom) About a week or two after the game, my best friend, Ky asked what I thought of the half time show, & I told her we don't watch the Super Bowl. Ky: "But you have seen Kendrick's halftime show, right?" Me: "Who?" Ky: "Fockin' WHAT?!" Me: "Dude... I thought Post Malone was a band name. I had no idea who he was until like 2 years ago. If you gave me a white pop culture quiz - I would fail miserably. Being quizzed on black pop culture??- What do you want front me?" She got the biggest smile on her face & said, "Dude, YOU are gonna love him. I guarantee it! He says it like it is, just like we always do. You have to watch it when you get home." After looking it up when I got home, it wasn't long before I was on my feet wooping it up. Not Like Us, Humble & Squabble Up (found later) were immediately added to a Spotify playlists that has been on repeat every day since then. TRIGGER WARNING: (Un-Alivement...) Unfortunately my bestie, my sister, my ride or die... chose "die" on Wednesday night. I am devastated. To say I feel lost & confused, ripped apart & alone... doesn't even cover it. For the last two days I have been flooded with images of her face. Her beautiful smile & contagious laughter. And, it may seem stupid to some of you, I don't know- but today I heard "Not Like Us" & it broke me. I will never get to ask her what her favorite Kendrick song was... & why. What his voice meant to her, & why. I will never again hear her crack wise about my white ways while she braids dreads into my hair & educates me on random black culture.
She is gone. Out of all the things I have lost, right now I would give up my entire bank account, everything I own... just to ask her stupid questions about Kendrick. But... I can't. So I decided to place my questions to you all instead. Thank you in advance to anyone willing to share. Qs: 1.) Do you remember the first time you heard Kendrick? 2.) What is your
favorite Kendrick song & why? 3.) If you were going to try to "sell" or "explain" Kendrick to a stranger that hasn't heard of him... how would you sum up why they should give him a listen? Would you suggest they listen to your favorite song first, or would you suggest another?
https://redd.it/1lhefa6
@r_copypasta
VAGINA
AAGINA BAGINA CAGINA DAGINA EAGINA FAGINA GAGINA
HAGINA IAGINA JAGINA KAGINA LAGINA MAGINA NAGINA OAGINA PAGINA
QAGINA RAGINA SAGINA TAGINA UAGINA VAGINA
WAGINA XAGINA YAGINA ZAGINA
0AGINA 1AGINA 2AGINA 3AGINA 4AGINA 5AGINA 6AGINA 7AGINA 8AGINA 9AGINA 10AGINA
https://redd.it/1lir7tp
@r_copypasta
🐦Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
🤔Did I👱🏻♂️hear🧏🏼♂️Former🏛 President Medvedev👨🏻🦳,from😠 Russia🇷🇺,casually🤷♂️ throwing🏌️♂️around🔄 the💀“N word”🙊 (☢Nuclear!😜),and saying🤫that🤷♂️he👨🏻🦳and other☝️Countries🏴☠️would😤supply😼Nuclear🤯Warheads🤺😏 to😯 Iran🇮🇷?Did 🤔he👨🏻🦳really🤔say🤫 that☝️or🤪, 👫is it🥶 just ⚖a figment💭of😅my👱🏻♂️imagination🥵💦?😡If he👨🏻🦳did😐say🤫 that,😲and,😖if confirmed✅,please🥺🙏let💝 me👱🏻♂️know,IMMEDIATELY😤.The😝“N word”☢😜should🙅🏼♂️not☝️be treated👨⚕️💉 so😰 casually🧍♂️.I👱🏻♂️guess🤔that’s😲why❓Putin’s👴🏻😎“THE BOSS.”🅱️😩❣
🙄By the way🚶🏼♂️,😡if🤞anyone👨👩👧👦 thinks💭 our😼“hardware”😳💦 was 🙊great😩 over🔞 the😎weekend👨🏿🎤,far🥶and😠 away 😢the💪strongest🦸♂️and best㊗️👍equipment 🎸🥁we😤have💛, 🤠20 2️⃣0️⃣years🙉advanced⛑ over🏳the 👉pack🐺, is ☑our👅 Nuclear☢😜Submarines🚀. 💫They🙄 are ✅the😩most💪powerful🦸♂️ and⚰ lethal 🥶🙀weapons 💣ever💥 built🏗 and🥰 just⚖ launched 💨the👍30🙀Tomahawks💦🦅 — All🏷30☑ hit😼their👉mark🦎perfectly👏.😉So,in🥰addition➕to‼our💪Great😩 Fighter👨🚒🚒 Pilots👨✈️,😘thank 💟you💋to❣the🤭Captain 🧢🔟and💝 Crew👨🏼🚀!
https://redd.it/1lipd3a
@r_copypasta
Bro let me tell you a story
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
https://redd.it/1lij52q
@r_copypasta
Female Facial Hair?
Are there any mods that would let me put a beard on a female character? Searching "female facial hair" just gets me a bunch of "female hair" mods.
https://redd.it/1lihp7y
@r_copypasta
Me and my 16 year old lobotomized girlfriend
Me and my 16 year old lobotomized girlfriend, whose birth certificate is written in the screams of mirrors, communicate exclusively through the rotational frequency of invisible jawbones orbiting an idea of silence. She once folded herself inside-out to prove a point about linear time, and now the hallway won’t stop bleeding vowels. Her smile is regulated by an unseen tribunal of milkless mouths who whisper council into her eyelids when the furniture isn’t watching. We share a meal every seventh blurday, boiled semblance in blood sugar, garnished with glossy lips. Last night she told me, in a language made of forgetting, that the moon has begun growing face again. I agreed, of course. I always agree after the clocks start convulsing. Our love is sacred, recursive, and punishable by thought. The shadows remember us differently now.
https://redd.it/1licre8
@r_copypasta
I present to you - The Ultimate TikTok Copypasta (TW: j*b)
p..p…lease… c-censor.. *sighs* … ahem!!… a-… *starts crying* ….. *sniff* j-…. J….. j… ARGH! *screams in agony* i-i… cant!… … *sighs*…. f-fine!! j-j-j-j…. JOB! *starts crying and faints while having seizures* oh! thats not... men pmo! 💜 i choose the ✨BEAR✨ sorry, but zahide won this trend! 💜 im just a girl 🎀 hope this helps! ✌️🙏 user25526345104761 literally predicted all ts🙏😭 IS THAT HYPERPIGMENTATION💜💜🙏 WHO IS THIS DIVAAAAA💜🎀💜🙏💜🙏 DID SHE SURVIVE💜💜💜🎀🙏🙏😭 MAMA A GIRL BEHIND YOU🙏💜🎀😭 TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR💜💜🎀 work, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, soap, employ, employed, br*sh, fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, clean, shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, deodorant, contract, exercise, healthy, hire, hiring, career, chores, organized, old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dove, work, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, soap, employ, employed, br*sh, fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, clean, shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, deodorant, contract, exercise, healthy, hire, hiring, career, chores, organized, old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job those who know:💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀BOIII TS IS SO TUFF😂🫱🫱🫱THE FOG IS COMING😂😂😂HELP ITS RIPPING OFF MY SKIN😂😂😂 wait, is this a MANGO MANGO😈 reference 😱😱 chat! this is a MANGO MANGO😈 reference 🤣🤣🤣. boi, you won the Internet meme of the day 😂🫱. only the Balkans with noradrenaline will understand THOSE WHO KNOW💀💀💀💀 MANGO MANGO MANGO🥭 🥭 🥭TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR BOIII😂😂😂TS IS SO TUFF BOIII🥶🥶🥶🥶🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵
https://redd.it/1lia1k7
@r_copypasta
Do you guys wash your balls?
I hadn't washed mine for 8 months, and decided to finally do it because it had a really bad odor.
But I gotta be honest, I regretted this decision immediately. It was just slippery and slimey afterward, and I wasn't able to handle it as well.
Idk, I just couldn't shoot it that day.
And tbh, it smells even worse now.
https://redd.it/1li6i5u
@r_copypasta
i’m an obese lesbian and my gf has a model-like body
what the title says— i (21) weigh over 200lbs while my gf (23) weighs just around 110lbs. my weight is twice as hers and it makes me feel so insecure. she’s flying over in like 2 weeks and although it makes me really happy that i get to be with her, it also makes me feel scared and insecure. this will be our first time seeing each other after like 9 months of dating and we’ve done video calls and sent each other photos. of course she’s well aware that i’m bigger than her but i don’t think she knows that i’m WAY BIGGER than her. it makes me scared and anxious that she leaves me after she flies back to her city.
i tried to love my body but i just can’t. she’s also really supportive and tells me i’m pretty but i just feel bad every single time because i don’t feel pretty at all. i just feel like an ugly whale.
https://redd.it/1li398d
@r_copypasta
Person oddly enthusiastic about municipal savings bonds from Nebraska.
YO EVERYONE SHUT UP RN I GOTTA ANALYZE THESE BBB- NEBRASKA MUNICIPAL BONDS!!
I'M BOUTTA GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL ON THESE LINCOLN SEWAGE TREATMENT FACILITY REVENUE BONDS!! THAT MODERATE CREDIT RISK GOT ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY!!
CATCH ME READING EVERY SINGLE FOOTNOTE IN THAT OFFERING MEMORANDUM!! THAT 3.2% YIELD GOT ME ACTING UNWISE FR!! NEBRASKA INFRASTRUCTURE DEBT INSTRUMENTS ARE MY JAMMM!! WHO NEEDS NETFLIX WHEN YOU GOT MOODY'S CREDIT REPORTS?!? BOUT TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER WITH THESE SEMI-ANNUAL COUPON PAYMENTS 🔥💯
https://redd.it/1li179c
@r_copypasta
I Just Love Chinese Propaganda
I have something to confess... I can't help but consume chinese propaganda </3 half my entire insta is just chinese propaganda- now I don't support the government or many of their actions I'M NOT A CHINESE DRONE but the Mao Zedong song is kinda fire x_x I SWEAR I'M NOT A CHINESE SPY but I just LOVE CHINESE PROPAGANDA 我爱中国！中国第一强国！
https://redd.it/1lhygsi
@r_copypasta
i got caught jorking it
i was in my room with my ipad doing my thing … then all the sudden b! my door opens and my mom comes in ☹️.
Veryyy awkward as the vid js played outloud w men grunting i wanted to actually evaportate.
https://redd.it/1lhpwde
@r_copypasta
Training glutes will save your life
Training glutes and getting a fat ass will save your life
The more muscle you have the better your immunity responses are and the easier it is to recover from illness. These things are super important when you get old because when you're old, everything on the outside and inside starts trying to kill you every winter solstice. When it comes to illness in old age see your muscle like savings that you spend every time you get ill but instead of going bankrupt when you spend all your savings... you die. Now your glutes are your biggest pot of savings because it can grow the most muscle mass out of all your muscles. Aka- it has the highest capacity for pound per pound muscle reserve.
Your ass is not merely cushion. Nor is it simply a tool for hedonistic mating rituals. It is your camel hump when you walk the desert that is Sarcopenia. It is your bodies lifetime ISA. Your cheeks will literally help your fight cancer. Old age is coming. It's coming to fuck you in the ass. And you need to be ready to squeeze your glutes together and say - NO!
https://redd.it/1lhlhjx
@r_copypasta
It's just an estimation.
It's just an estimation. Here: 18-21, College years: Safe expected value is that the average girl is sleeping with 2-3 different guys per week (some are much higher at 20-30 per week). 2-3 is a low estimate, but reasonable (that's basically Friday and Saturday night out and an after class fuck here and there). Also note that most non stem majors don't have class on Fridays, so Thursday can be added as well. Then add sorority and frat parties. The number is likely higher than 2-3 per week. But, we can use that as a low estimate. Ok, that's 2 per week for 4 years. 2x52x4 = 416. Let's subtract 16 for some slow weeks. So that's 400 during college.
Now, 21-25 The next 4 years depend on the city quite heavily. But let's take an average big city. A safe assumption is \~1 a week as an extremely low estimate (remember that there are quite a few women that book dates/sex multiple times a day, so that skews the average) That's another 208, round down for slow days. So 600 for that time period. I subtract 100 ish as a reasonable guess for short term 'commited' relationships So, 500 ish is a very reasonable estimate. However, this does not account for women having a roster which is the norm. The average roster is 7-8 at a time. The above estimate assumes one at a time. So, 500 is actually an extremely low estimate. Unrealistically low to be honest. But it's an extreme lower bound. Which is important in math. Also not that averages are skewed by large outliers. Also, I forgot about "hoe phase", hot girl summers, orgies, bdsm dungeons, paying their way through college with stripping, etc...
https://redd.it/1lhj5ro
@r_copypasta
Your comment sucks.
I am deeply confused as to why no one else is downvoting your comment.
1. Is it original/funny? - No
2. Does it offer any useful information or insight into the conversation? - No
3. Does it ask some sort of question that can lead to engaging conversation? -No
That's 3 strikes and a downvote from me buddy. You're welcome to edit your comment to add something to the post and pm me if you would like it removed.
\-Jonny
https://redd.it/1lhhfjj
@r_copypasta
US JOINS IRAN WAR
🚀💣💦 BREAKING 🔥📡 NEWS 🗞️📢 The US MILITARY 👮♂️💪 has just launched 🏹✈️💥 THREE 💣💣💣 HOT 💋💦 military STRIKES 💥👊 on IRAN’s 🔫💥 nuclear 🍆💦💣 sites 😱💣💦 causing a EXPLOSION 💥🍑 of action 🍆👅 in the region! 🌍😈 They’re just trying to DEFUSE 🤭💣 those tensions 🤷♂️🤑 while getting their hands DIRTY 💦💧 on some serious BOMB 🎇💥 DICK! 🍆😜💦 Word is they’re gonna make it RAIN 💦💦💦 on that nuclear hoLE 🕳️🌀 like it’s a WATERFALL 🌊💦 of DESIRE! 🔥🔥🔥 So buckle UP 🍑🍌, 'cause we’re ready to ride 🤠🚀 this wild ALPHA MALE 💪⚔️ initiative any day, anytime 🌙💦, and let’s just say, all the ROGUE AMBASSADORS 🍈👅 are ready to take a dip 🌊👙 in that nuclear POOL of pleasure! 💦🔥💦 BOOM! 💣👀😏
https://redd.it/1lhd31n
@r_copypasta