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Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
Nitpicking ideas because of the language is not truthful, it is disingenuous
Every time I'm looking around in here there are some basic boys who clearly haven't actually learned anything about formal logic trying to apply it to people's off-the-cuff statements. A truth seeker reads between the lines. Getting held up on the language used is just another form of functional fixedness. If you need to clarify the sentiment because the language was that vague, that's one thing, but it does no one any good and makes you look imbecilic to dismiss a sentiment as wrong BECAUSE it is worded vaguely. I'm the guy over here telling people to actually learn the definitions of terms like left-wing and right-wing and free market and capitalism because I'm tired of them being misused and it muddies the sentiment when they aren't used properly, but I see people in here being condemnatory over calling things 'bad'. Bad is vague, not automatically non-factual. If I say a song is bad because I don't like it, THAT'S opinion, if I say your design for this bridge is bad because the bridge will collapse the thought doesn't just become opinion because I didn't have the words on hand to express that the bridge does not obey math and cannot exist and just summarized with 'bad'. Seriously, everyone all up in here needs to climb outta their own behinds because this makes you look like an ape to do. You are not winning at the conversation, you are shutting it down noisomely and pointlessly. Learn to read between the lines and contend with the underlying truths, the real truths, or call yourself a prescriptivist semanticist instead.
https://redd.it/1lnmrno
@r_copypasta
Imagine a smoke sesh with the Pokemon starters
Bro imagine a weed smoking sesh with the three Pokemon starters... grab some sticky bud freshly plucked from bulbasaur - yo thanks my brotha. Roll up a fat af blunt - ey yo charmander can I get a light? He lights it up with his tail (so sick) puff puff ey thanks little homie. Then absolutely fucking the shit out of Squirtle
https://redd.it/1lngsb9
@r_copypasta
Dear fucking kids!
Dear fucking kids, or to whom this message concerns.....damnit please stop eating all my Klondike Bars!!!! I went in the kitchen and there are only two left. Let's do some quick math.... Now if Mama had six Klondike Bars, and never ate one.... but two remained, how many Bars did a little greedy mother Fucker eat???? I'll wait bitches.......you give up? The answer is (imma whop somebody ass if y'all keep fucking with my shit) Thank you for your time! Niggas!
And that goes for your no phone having brother and your Grandma too!!!! She probably gummed my shit up!
https://redd.it/1lnetjv
@r_copypasta
Copypasta to use when Hirohito
HIROHITO, THE 124TH EMPEROR OF THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN FROM THE 4TH OF JANURAY 1926 ALL THE WAY TO THE 16 OF AUGUST 1945?! LONG LIVE 迪宮! 私たちは帝国軍であり、私たちの敵は皇帝の敵です! KAMIKAZETOKUBETSUKOGEKITAI 昇る太陽 ALL OF アジア BELONGS TO THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN 日の本 (ひのもと TRAITORS ARE NOT REAL SONS OF JAPAN 出征兵士を送る歌 DIE FOR 迪宮 わが大君に 召されたる
生命光栄(はえ)ある 朝ぼらけ
讃えて送る 一億の
歓呼は高く 天を衝く
いざ征(ゆ)け つわもの
日本男児
SHOWA RESTORATION IS AT IT'S DOORS 汨羅の淵に波騒ぎ DIE FOR NIPPON 巫山の雲は乱れ飛ぶ THE BATTOTAI SHALL GUIDE US 混濁の世に我れ立てば BANZAI AT THE ENEMY 義憤に燃えて血潮湧く YOU AND I 貴様と俺とは同期の桜, 同じ兵学校の庭に咲くIF AMERICA DROPS A SUN ON US WE WILL RISE OUR OWN COWARDS 万朶の桜か襟の色!
花は吉野に嵐吹く!
大和男子と生まれなば!
散兵線の花と散れ!
https://redd.it/1ln9b9m
@r_copypasta
THIS MAN IS GOING FOR A WORLD RECORD!!
Look! this man is going for a world record. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. But watch out, if this guy misses he'll die on the spot or he will hurt himself very very badly. And all this just for you. Just for your eyes just to make this video goes viral. Will he do it? Will he succeed? That's the question your asking yourself right now. Look at him! He's flying, he's gliding he's flying like a rocket. INCREDIBLE! This man deserves respect! You should give him strength in the comments. Check him out! After nearly breaking his neck, he decided to stop.
https://redd.it/1ln3z1a
@r_copypasta
My dad caught me humping my MLP plushie
Ever since I was a little kid I enjoyed watching My Little Pony, theres just something about the show that makes it so appealing to me.
My Favorite has always been rainbow dash, and after years of binging and watching all sorts of content related to my little pony, I started tickling my pickle to her, nobody got me nearly as aroused and everytime rainbow dash was on screen my snake would stand meters tall.
One day I thought I was home alone and decided that jerking off wasnt enough to stress off, so I grabbed my rainbow dash plushie and started rubbing my sword inbetween its legs. It was the best feeling in the world until my dad entered the room asking why i was making so much noise.
We shared an awkward stare before he apologized and closed the door. I was so ashamed but I continued humping and I would like to admit that I still do it to this very day.
I dont know what to do about my dad though but I'm sure he'd understand
https://redd.it/1ln2347
@r_copypasta
If I ever teach a health class in the future, I’ll tell my kids what all the drugs really do to raise awareness.
Caffeine: Diet Adderall. Not stigmatized. Boring. Do meth, you poser.
Adderall: Diet Meth. Have fun fapping and studying. Or sell em to students, I won’t judge.
Meth: Just sleep off the comedown for 7 days like the rest of us you junkie lmao.
Pervitin: Meth, but in German. Careful if the snow starts speaking Russian.
Desoxyn: “Oooh look at me! I got a prescription for meth! How fancy!”
Weed: “See you after class, okay little Timmy?” Also, I don’t need a different strain, I need a different drug.
Ketamine: Your’e a douche at raves.
MDMA: See above description for Ketamine. Also, you won’t have dopamine for 2 months.
Morphine: Baby’s first opioid!
Hydroxyzine: “zzzz”
Trazodone: “Zzzzzzzzzzzz.”
Seroquel: “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!”
Benadryl: “Zzzzz- haha hey it’s the Hat Man!”
Lean: “Haha! Purple drink go swoosh!”
Ambien: You are now somehow more racist than Pervitin, literal Nazi meth. Congrats!
Prozac: “does this even fucking work?”
Gabapentin: “Does THIS even fucking work?!
My Daily Multivitamin: “DOES THIS EVEN FUCKING WO- oh yeah, that’s a vitamin.”
Effexor: Ya know, I’m starting to think antidepressants are bullshit.
Cocaine: Probably won’t kill you, but your wallet will off-itself after. Buy a casket for it, first.
Heroin: Probably won’t kill you, but you’ll wish it did.
Alcohol: Will kill you, and you’ll wish it did. Only treatment is another drug that can kill you.
Benzos: See above description for alcohol. The unpleasant symptoms last for months.
Fentanyl: Will fucking kill you. Donald Trump will avenge you and kill the person responsible.
Nicotine: “I swear to fucking god if you keep bumming my cigarettes and pulls from my vape instead of getting your own, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!”
Carfentanil: You’re a fucking elephant. 🤷🏼🐘
PCP: You get completely naked, gain retard strength, cut your cock off, jump out a window, and fight 18 cops simultaneously. (This is the worst drug I’ve ever done, never again).
Novocane: Don’t get me wrong, it was a great invention for its time, but pretty outdated. I ain’t trying to get needles in my gums, I was to be knocked the fuck out with a brick. It’s a pretty cool Green Day song though, so extra points.
Nitrous Oxide: Why does my dentist never give me the silly gas when I get teeth pulled? Fuck novocane. 😔
Galaxy Gas: For when you want to try nitrous oxide, but want to lose your brain cells first! Also, this has its own category because you’re retarded.
Anabolic Steroids: You gain big muscles but small peepee. “The hardest choices require the strongest of wills.”
Ozempic: You have first world problems that many other countries would kill to have.
Kratom: Mixed results, kinda takes the edge off. Take too many, get a stomach ache. DON’T FUCKING BRING THIS UP AROUND JOE ROGAN! DON’T YOU FUCKING DO IT!
Peyote/Ayahuasca: So I know these are technically different, but I have the same thing to say about both. Native Americans get FUCKING TAX EXEMPT STATUS, CASINOS, AND CAN GET HIGH IN THE NAME OF RELIGION?! Anything that’s a direct “fuck you” to the government, I’m on board with! Also, Ron White said in an interview that it helped him get sober, so yeah, high score for the natives!
Mouthwash: So hear me out, I picked mouth was for the same reason I praised the American Indians. The government purposely poisons and denatured my fucking alcohol? What the fuck is this horseshit? North Korea?🇰🇵
Salvia: Don’t know too much about this one but kinda scares me from what I’ve heard.
K2/Spice: Who the fuck even buys these?
Shrooms: it’s pretty fun, you build tolerance to them so fast though so it’s more of a special occasion.
Birth Control: Something my baby momma said she was still taking. Man, plan B would’ve been 1/10th of my child support. 😔
Scopolamine: “Give me your credit card number and the 3 digits on the back.”
Krokodil: “AHHH OH GOD OH JESUS CHRIST!!” , “What is it, comrade?”
Phenobarbital: Only way I can sleep in the hospital in alkie
Fake discord FBI watchlist copyposta
-# This user is under investigation by the Discord Team
-# This user has been placed on the International Digital Watchlist as of June 27, 2025.
-# This user is under active surveillance by the INTERPOL Cyber Crimes Division and the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Section 37B.
-# They are currently listed in a joint threat database under Case File #CX-231 pursuant to 18 U.S.C. § 2332b.
-# Avoid any contact to this user. • Learn more
https://redd.it/1lmtowg
@r_copypasta
Hello pervert.
Hello pervert, I've sent thіs message from your Microsoft account. I want to іnform you about a very bad sіtuatіon for you. However, you can benefіt from іt, іf you wіll act wіsely. Have you heard of Pegasus? Thіs іs a spyware program that іnstalls on computers and smartphones and allows hackers to monіtor the actіvіty of devіce owners. It provіdes access to your webcam, messengers, emaіls, call records, etc. It works well on Androіd, іOS, macOS and Wіndows. I guess, you already fіgured out where I’m gettіng at. It’s been a few months sіnce I іnstalled іt on all your devісes because you were not quіte choosy about what lіnks to clіck on the іnternet. Durіng thіs perіod, I’ve learned about all aspects of your prіvate lіfe, but one іs of specіal sіgnіfіcance to me. I’ve recorded many vіdeos of you jerkіng off to hіghly controversіal рorn vіdeos. Gіven that the “questіonable” genre іs almost always the same, I can conclude that you have sіck рerversіon. I doubt you’d want your frіends, famіly and co-workers to know about іt. However, I can do іt іn a few clіcks. Every number іn your contact Iіst wіll suddenly receіve these vіdeos – on WhatsApp, on Telegram, on Instagram, on Facebook, on emaіl – everywhere. It іs goіng to be a tsunamі that wіll sweep away everythіng іn іts path, and fіrst of all, your former lіfe. Don’t thіnk of yourself as an іnnocent vіctіm. No one knows where your рerversіon mіght lead іn the future, so consіder thіs a kіnd of deserved рunіshment to stop you. I’m some kіnd of God who sees everythіng. However, don’t panіc. As we know, God іs mercіful and forgіvіng, and so do I. But my merсy іs not free. Transfer 1200$ to my Lіtecoіn (LTC) wallet: ltc1qwyc8nepg0g66tu0cyqk3nt49s6lu2w6jm3ntng Once I receіve confіrmatіon of the transactіon, I wіll рermanently delete all vіdeos compromіsіng you, unіnstall Pegasus from all of your devіces, and dіsappear from your lіfe. You can be sure – my benefіt іs only money. Otherwіse, I wouldn’t be wrіtіng to you, but destroy your lіfe wіthout a word іn a second. I’ll be notіfіed when you open my emaіl, and from that moment you have exactly 48 hours to send the money. If cryptocurrencіes are unchartered waters for you, don’t worry, іt’s very sіmple. Just google "crypto exchange" or "buy Litecoin" and then іt wіll be no harder than buyіng some useless stuff on Amazon. I strongly warn you agaіnst the followіng:
* Do not reply to thіs emaіl. I've sent іt from your Mіcrosoft account.* Do not contact the polіce. I have access to all your devісes, and as soon as I fіnd out you ran to the cops, vіdeos wіll be publіshed.* Don’t try to reset or destroy your devісes. As I mentіoned above: I’m monіtorіng all your actіvіty, so you eіther agree to my terms or the vіdeos are рublіshed. Also, don’t forget that cryptocurrencіes are anonymous, so іt’s іmpossіble to іdentіfy me usіng the provіded address. Good luck, my perverted frіend. I hope thіs іs the last tіme we hear from each other.And some frіendly advіce: from now on, don’t be so careless about your onlіne securіty.
https://redd.it/1lmpbjf
@r_copypasta
Is a Java still demand in 2025
Hi, guys
I wanna be a backend developer and thought about Java to learn because it is more stable and secure, etc...
But some opinions say that Java is dying and not able to compete with C# or NodeJS (I know NodeJS serves in small-scale projects), but I mean it is not updated like them.
On the other hand, when I search on platforms like LinkedIn, or indeed, they require 5+ years of experience, for example, and no more chance for another juniors
https://redd.it/1lmgaut
@r_copypasta
to hold me captive! There’s freedom in this country! This is America-JAPAN.
I have stripped you of your freedom. Now get down on your knees!
Hitoshi-san, we have come here to save youuuuuuu\~!
Raku-chan! Koneko-chan! I’m, have never been this glad to see you!
Hitoshi-san, come on let’s go while we cannnn, nyaa, desuuu\~
Yeah, what Raku-chan said.
Arigato gozaimasu, you two. I’m very arigatoful.
De nada, Hitoshi-san.
I would have had my way with him, if it weren’t for those meddling kodomos…
Ohh… waa… we better get going home now. It was good to see you again, Hitoshi-san. S-sayonara… nyaa…
Thank you so much for your brave deed. I will never forget this moment we are having now. Sayonara, kawaii neko girls. Nya\~ Rawr\~
Hmmmm… Haaaa… nya, it’s very sunny outside today.
Hmm, I think I’m gonna go outside today!
OHHHH Kawai squirrel-chan! Oh so desuuu, nyaa\~
Aww, so kawaii, squeakers squirrel-chan. You so desu and sugoi! Oh so soft, nya\~
AhAHHHHHHHHHUHHUUU HAAAAA WAAAAH NYAAAAAH HUUUHHUHHU SQUEAKERS SQU AH AHUAHHHHUH NYAAAHHUHH aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAaAaAAAAaAhauhhhuuuuhuuhu
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAÄÄÄÄÄAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄAAAAAAAAAAÆÆÆÆÆÆÆAAAAAAAAAANNYNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÆÆÆÆAAAAAAAAAAAAA(inhale)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆAAÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄNYAAAAAAAAAAAHUHUHUHHHUHAAA
Huhh… Hitoshi…. he… isss so… sugoi… I, I really hope he’s doing alright, after the whole kidnapping incidents and everything, ohh… Hitoshi-sannnn, Ahh- HHUHEKH, AHHHKKH
I hope maybe we can be.. de-desu.. more than just friends, nyaaaa\~ AHHHKKH AHHH!
Nyaa, walking to the store, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, la la la la la la la..
Oh hello there Hitoshi-san. How are you doing today?
Well hello there Koneko-chan! You’re looking very nice today. And I am doing fine.
Ohoho, thank you very much! Well, I just wanted to tell you, you know, Raku-chan thinks you’re very sugoi, nya.
Oh-oh? Well tell her that I say… thank you very much! Nya\~ That I appreciate her kindness.
Hitoshi-san? Are you okay?
Oh I’m fine. Don’t worry about me one bit. Well I better tell Raku-chan, that, I think she’s a really cool neko, and that she’s pretty. Downright sugoi.
Raku-chan? Are you home?
AHUH AHUH Oh, I very sick, nyaa… Hitoshi-san… I very glad you came to see mee… I, I really appreciate it! Ahuh, ahuh, ahuhhaha…
Raku-chan, we brought you a present to make you feel better! Nya\~ Rawr\~
Get well soon, Raku-chan!
Ohh! I love Dancing Sushiii! Oh Koneko-chan, Hitoshi-san! You do so much for me! I don’t even know if I deserve everything! Thank you so much! Arigatoooo, nyaa\~
Oh, I feel so much better, nya. Thank you for all your help, nyaa\~
Don’t thank us. It was our pleasure, Raku-chan.
Aha! Oh you guys… desuuuu…
Oh, I just wish I could really say that… I’m okay.. nyaaaaaa, desuuuuuuu!
https://redd.it/1lmi778
@r_copypasta
my older brother whom I live with is having an affair with our cousin.
As I have mentioned before in server, my older brother whom I live with is having an affair with our cousin. Yeah marinate on that one. And I am so utterly disgusted, the most fucked up part is they aren’t even trying to hide it, it was obvious to me before i even found out officially, and he thinks he’s not doing anything wrong because they aren’t related by blood, which is technically true, but we were raised as cousins, that’s a fact, her brother who lives with us is always referred to as our cousin and vise versa, we always call her our cousin, her adopted daughter is literally staying with us for two weeks cause summer and all the kids call her their cousin, so though we ain’t blood she is our cousin. And even if the technicality is there that does not negate the fact that he IS CHEATING ON HIS FIANCE RIGHT IN HER FACE! This is the woman who is the mother of his child and takes care of his other three kids without question, the woman that supported him financially for years and stuck by his side while he was on the run and when he was in jail and missed the birth of his child, the woman who while he was in jail fully without being asked or expected took care of his daughter because her bio mom was gone with the wind, put clothes on her back, food in her stomach, made sure she was in school, ALL WHILE 7-9 MONTHS PREGNANT!! She may be a cunt, yea I’m not a fan of hers, however I fully give her props because she put up with all his bs over and over and over again (because she herself is a very broken person and also if you knew her you would know that aside from cheating she and him are the exact same person in different fonts.) I want to stay out of this bs so hard but for fucks sake like I said he’s not even trying to hide it, he literally has referred to himself as her “Cousbend” I can’t make that shit up, I’m so uncomfortable whenever I’m around them. This is the most southern white shit ever and NONE of us are fully white!!
https://redd.it/1lmh262
@r_copypasta
For uninformed Americans
I understand that an American wouldn't really get news about what's going on in Canada, but you've got to have the most uninformed take I've ever heard.
>there's a very high chance none of your previous allies
Previous allies? As if all of Europe has turned their back on Canada? You've got it backwards. No one likes the US, not Canada. Canada has even gathered additional support within the EU; and we're beginning to distance ourselves from US-made armaments (albeit, this is still an on-paper thing.)
PM Carney is also looking to cancel (at least a portion of) the order for 88 F-35s, in favour of (most likely) the Eurofighter.
Further, we're looking to purchase much more EU equipment; equipment that can't be turned off at the flick of a switch like the garbage American armaments.
Not to mention that Canada is still part of Nato...
>Y’all aren’t ready for what’s coming for you.
This is shit I'll never understand. Do you seriously think America wants another war? Especially one that's literally across the border? One where your enemy speaks the same language, could easily pass for American, and has infinitely more information on your processes and operations than any other enemy nation prior? Do you really think that American civilians, American military service members want to engage in a war against people they train with?
If you think, even for a second, that America would win a guerrilla war against Canadians when they've lost every war since WW2, of which Canada played a vital, sustained, and important role in, you've lost your mind. You'll gain the territory, absolutely. You'll then be strangled from within not only by your own citizens, but by Canadians who seamlessly blend into your culture.
https://redd.it/1lmc2ak
@r_copypasta
I hate south Park
I hate south Park, the writing is dogshit,the characters are minors and constantly sexualized, there have been multiple transphobic comments and lowkey homophobic scenes. How are yall defending this show? (if someone mentions dark humor im muting you)
https://redd.it/1lm9q9y
@r_copypasta
I pretend I have a girlfriend so people will stop pitying me
I’m 36M. Never married. Haven’t dated seriously in about 5 years. And people will not stop treating me like I’m broken.
So I made someone up.
She’s a real person, just not my girlfriend. I stole pictures from an old coworker’s Instagram (nothing creepy, just basic selfies) and told my coworkers and family that we met online. She’s “shy,” so she never comes to events. We’re “taking it slow.” She “works late.”
It’s amazing how differently people treat me now.
At work, people respect me more. My mom stopped pushing me toward weird Facebook singles events. My friends stopped asking “so, anyone new lately?” with that condescending smile. Even strangers seem to engage with me more when I casually mention “my girlfriend.”
It feels pathetic. I know. But it’s so much easier than being the guy people pity at weddings and family parties.
So yeah. I’m in a fake relationship. And I’m kind of terrified of what happens if someone ever finds out.
https://redd.it/1lm8u5s
@r_copypasta
The personality of Pippins from Deltarune, from the Deltarune wiki
Why do you want to know the personality of a fucking Pippins? Why are you interested in the lives of the dark world equivalent of a deformed rat with a brain tumor? Simply knowing you want to learn something about these disgusting smug-fuck rodents makes me want to take away your access to the internet because only a goddamn toddler would be interested in these gross little shitheads.
In personality they're smug little bastards who think they're better then everyone. They sit around spewing poetry about dead people at a bar like they're Edgar Allan Poe but in reality it's like getting a lecture from a divorced hobbit with erectile dysfunction. Fuck that stupid Pippins who talked shit about Ramb I hope their wife divorced them and their kids beat them.
Anyway if you STILL want to know about them, here you go: Pippins appear to have a clear f for gambling and not playing fair, as they express this throughout the TV World, those JERKS. A Pippins in the S-Rank Gaming room of the Green Room asks Kris if they enjoy gambling, and will be FUCKING disappointed should they answer no because they're ABSOLUTE POOPHOLES, and another scams you to pay 500 points for them to "unlock the door to the secret Physical Challenge. Seriously, F them. they even freaking mimic door opening noises to seem legit but their vocal cords are so fucked up that it wouldn't work even if they tried.
https://redd.it/1lnecl8
@r_copypasta
I think my cat is sexually harassing me
I don't know why but my cat (m33, in cat years) is always bitting my body.
It doesn't make sense, specially for an orange cat but he brushes his head on my face and neck.
He doesn't even have balls but still, when he sees me, he always meows like a slut (?) and brushes himself on my legs.
When I'm laying down, he goes to me, lays near me just to bite my thighs like a pervert old man... Maybe he has some pervert soul inside him...
I mean, I don't judge him since my thighs are very thick.
The mf will bite them like it's some chicken menu and I scream, having to push my thighs away from him.
I think he does it on purpose.
https://redd.it/1lnepbf
@r_copypasta
Kojima ia a fraud
Kojima is a fraud. He lacks any real talent so he surrounds himself with the truly talented artists, designers, writers, and developers to make himself look good by association. He never even met David Hayter, one of the reasons Metal Gear is so iconic in the first place. David Hayter even gave up half of his pay to get all the original voice cast back together for MGS: The Twins Snakes remake.
He tries to do the same with Hollywood by surrounding himself with the actors and stars he grew up watching. He associates with Del Toro and Jordan Peele when they do nothing more than glorified cameos. Then he shoves all the Hollywood stars he can into Death Stranding and all of his future projects. And you bet he met Kiefer Sutherland immediately after dropping David Hayter in MGSV because Hollywood actors are "real actors".
But the worst part was when I saw Kojima at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I was his biggest fan. I played all the Metal Gears, I 100%ed Death Stranding, and I cried for weeks when Silent Hills (P.T.) was cancelled. But I will not stand for this. His behavior is inexcusable.
https://redd.it/1lna3ps
@r_copypasta
I’m a chronic gooner
I once beat my meat 10 times in 12 hours. I’m a gluttonous, lustful depravity. After ordering copious amounts of food and eating, I quickly start gooning and I nut in whatever sauces remained, just because it was easier and more convenient for me to throw everything out at once.
I goon to mommy stuff and I goon at least 3 times daily, but I usually do it 4 times. Like yesterday I wasn’t even trying I gooned 5 times. It’s gotten to the point that I sometimes watch porn for the plot. I watched a game show vid yesterday while eating ramen.
And finally, my room is made for gooning. I prepared it so I can goon for 2 hours straight while being comfortable. I don’t feel any shame, but I just wanted to confess.
people like me are around you, and we act normal. Beware.
https://redd.it/1ln9z7s
@r_copypasta
MANGO!
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https://redd.it/1ln528w
@r_copypasta
WDs.
Quaaludes: Your a boomer. No one knows what the fuck this is anymore.
Viagra: I’ve never used this, but good on you if it works.
Oxycodone: “JUST FUCKING TAKE THE CARFENTANIL! DO IT YOU PUSSY OR NO BALLS! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!”
LSD/Acid: I’m not gonna lie, I find psychonauts annoying af, so I’m just gonna lump them all together right here.
Sugar: Probably the deadliest drug of all.
Insulin: AHA! We have a direct counter to sugar.
Bleach: Do it for Amanda Todd!
Religion: Wasn’t it called the drug of the masses? I think so.
The 2nd coming of Christ: Shouldn’t this go under religion? No, you know why? Because he’s coming a 2nd time like the king he is. 🙏
The Beatles: I mean, John Lennon said it himself.
Gambling: So I’m counting this as a drug, because what kind of psycho doesn’t drink at a casino? Also, another point for the American Indians.
Ivermectin: If Joe Rogan said it cured his covid, it must be true. FUCK! I brought up Joe Rogan.
Video Games: They have ruined entire generations of young virgins. Nah, I’m just fucking salty because I spent a ton of money on my fucking set-up and now I’m homeless.
Zyklon-B: Wait, is this even a drug? Well I mean, depending on your stance on the final solution, kinda? Let’s go with that.
Cyanide: HAHA! YOU FOOLS! Zyklon-B is already cyanide based! Got em.
Whatever the Fuck is in the Toxin of the Pufferfish That Japanese Chefs Train to Make: Would you eat that shit? I don’t know if I’d risk it, but when are you gonna get a chance like that again?
Homosexual Men: God, aren’t gay men just the worst? Always making everything look nice and raising property values.
Codeine: IT WAS A FUCKING TRICK! TAKE THE FUCKING CARFENTINAL RIGHT NOW! I’M JUST FUCKING CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT IT DOES ON A HUMAN, THAT DRUG ISN’T EVEN FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION! YOU STUPID SILLY FUCKING GOOBER! 🤣👌
The Covid-19 Vaccine: It literally gave me autism! Look at this fucking list!
Jack Nicholson: Isn’t he just fucking awesome in everything he’s in? Has he been in a bad movie ever?
1 Trillion Lions: Still not as powerful as what’s coming up next.
The United States Military Industrial Complex: Okay, so it’s not a drug, but are you really going to argue with the greatest armed forces on earth over semantics? I thought not.
Israel: Well, naturally. They control the US Military.
Pussy: Now that I think about it, aren’t 1 Trillion lions technically a trillion pussies? Anyway, wars since the beginning of time were fought over this shit.
My Dad’s Belt: Wait a minute, this isn’t even a drug? Oh well, still worse than Carfentanil.
My Baby Momma’s Mexican Abuelita’s Chancla: My god… a worthy challenger vs My Dad’s Belt.
Hydrocodone: HAHA I GOT YOU AGAIN YOU ABSOLUTE TROGLODYTE! I MEAN LIKE, CARFENTANIL CAN’T BE FUCKING WORSE THAN BLEACH, CYANIDE, OR LITERALLY A NEUROTOXIN THAT PARALYZES YOU FROM A FUCKING FISH! 🎣
Now, since y’all are my homies, and I’m a good sport, I’ll toss ya something that will help after the lethal dose of carfentinal… Y’all ready?
Naloxone/Narcan: you didn’t think I wasn’t going to give y’all the only antidote, right? Been saving our kind for years. I don’t even know if it will even work on Carfentanil, that shits like what, 10,000 times stronger than fentanyl? Oh well, we must do it for science! This took a very long time to make and I had a lot of fun with this. Thanks for reading my arbitrary list. 🪫
https://redd.it/1lmwdj0
@r_copypasta
You think it’s easy to sit home alone and stick a toothbrush up your pooper?
You think it’s easy to sit home alone and stick a toothbrush up your pooper? Ha. OK, liberal. I’m nothing like you soft handed Democrats. You all sit online and talk about ass play on your “smart” phones, but it’s real Americans like me who are doing it. If you don’t want to respect that, then you can leave the country my forefathers built with their own shit covered hands.
https://redd.it/1lmwu7n
@r_copypasta
I just played Valorant
I just played Valorant for 18 hours straight.
Went from 6pm, through an all-nighter, to noon the next day.
My eyes are watering, my shoulders hurt, I’m running on sheer adrenaline. That’s 18 hours of my life I’ll never get back.
I’m going to go outside, take a walk, and go back to being a normal person now. Otherwise, this game will be the death of me.
https://redd.it/1lmqk8o
@r_copypasta
Your boyfriend is stealing your soul
I keep seeing countless videos about women claiming their boyfriends are buying journals similar to theirs, listening to music they listen to, using slang similar to theirs, and even dressing like them.
While all of these things make sense (spending time with people = beginning to act similarly), I want women to take heed to this. 9/10, this man is copying aspects of YOUR personality in order to almost effortlessly lure other women into also having their personalities HARVESTED.
I also have come to believe this could be a reason why its soooo common for males to cheat. Once they have a prey to mimic (girlfriend/wife), its easy to lure more prey, then more prey, then more. They use resources from their hosts to attract OTHER PREY.
https://redd.it/1lmobgm
@r_copypasta
AITA for calling my wife stupid?
AITA for calling my wife stupid?
I (26M, IQ: 172, mensa member of 2 years, reddit premium yearly subscriber), was trying to explain the psychological ramifications in society stemming from a pandemic-led cultural shift circa 2020, via analogy of animal crossing games. she (25F, never had an IQ test but if I had to guess hers using my divine intellect i would conclude she's 95 iq tops) didn't get it all. she just kept saying stuff like "that's great honey, can you please change your clothes now? you've been wearing that sweatshirt a week straight and it really smells. i see a pizza stain too" so I told her, I believe rather calmly: "you're a stupid bitch whore and I will never truly love you due to the intellectual barrier between us". am i the asshole here guys? reddit, assemble!
https://redd.it/1lmkdcj
@r_copypasta
The entire script of Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls up until the end of the squirrel episode
Nyaa\~ don’t you just love mochi ice cream Konkeo-chan?
Oh yeah, mochi ice cream’s very good, Raku-chan.
Desu! Ah, I’m really full now. Come on, let’s go home, okay, nya?
Okay. Let’s go home.
gasp Koneko-chan look at that guy over there, nyaa! He’s so SUGOI desuuuu!
Well I just happened to be walking by and I saw you two lovely ladies walking. How you doin, kawaii neko girls? Nya\~ rawr\~
Nyaa! Nyaa! Nyaa! Uwa! Nyaa\~ what should I say nyaa? Nyaadesuuuuu, nyaaaaa\~\~\~
Well, what’s wrong with her, huh?
Oh she just gets like that after sometimes. You know. She really young.
Ahh, I should go say hi nya. Hell-hello there. Ee.. ee.. nyaa\~
Hi there, my name is Hitoshi-san.
Hitoshi-san? Ah, nyaa\~, my name is Raku-chan. Nyaa\~
And what’s your name?
Oh, I’m Koneko-chan.
Mmhmm.
Aha, ahaha.
AHAHAHA YOU GUYS ARE SO FUNNY NYAAH!
That Hitoshi-san, he was so sugoi. Maybe I can take him to ice cream, nya. Or maybe he would like to play with me at the park. Oh, I just hope I can see him again sometime. He’s so sugoiiiiiiiiii\~ nyaaaaaaaaa\~\~\~\~
Okay Dolce-chan, let’s go outside, okay? W- we - we go in the sunshine, you know? Come on, Dolce-chan.
Ohh it’s a very nice day today, ohh I’m gonna go outside!
Oh! Konichiwa Koneko-chan and Dolce-chan, nyaaa\~
Oh, thank you very much!\~ You so nice!!
Ah, hey you guys you wanna go to the pool with me? It’s gonna be so kawaii funn, nyaaa\~
Oh yes, let’s, let’s go to the pool.
HAHAHAHA! There’s so many people here! Hah!
Oh, oh there’s Hitoshi-san! He’s here at the pool! So sugoi, nyaa-haaa. Oh I have to hide, I don’t want him to see me like this! Nyaaaa, desuuuu! I’m gonna hide behind Koneko-chan, nyaa\~
Well hey there neko girls. Nice to see you again. Oh, looks like you brought along a… friend.
Uhuhuh, yeah she my sister.
Ohh! Hitoshi-san, konichiwaaaa…
Well hello there, I’m just gonna go over to the chairs. You wanna come?
Oh, oh of course I do, nyaaa\~ Let’s go desu, nyaaaaaaahaaa\~
Oh so I see your friend over there is a cockdog, huh?
Ah, no, she actually a cocker spaniel! Ahuh!
Oh so that’s what they’re called nowadays, huh?
Ha ha, I guess so, nyaa\~ Ha ha, a HAHAHAHAHAHAAA.
So, how’d you become a neko. Girl?
Oh, I was born that way! Y-you know? I never gained them, I just came with them.
Was your mom a cat and your dad was a, person?
No, actually my dad was the cat. Ahuhuhha! Hah!
Oh hohoho, I see!
AHAHAHUHUHUAAHAA! Oh you so funny, nyaa\~
Oh, I got to go home now. Goodbye Hitoshi-san. Sayonara Hitoshi-saaaaannn!
Oh, goodbye Hitoshi-san. We’ll see you later, okay?
Bye everyone! I’ll see you later. Have a nice kawaii day. Nya\~ Rawr\~.
Ahhh… what a nice morning it is to eat some breakfast! I’m gonna go downstairs.
Ahh… some nice pocky and ramune. My favorite! Well, time to chow down.
You’re coming with me! Mwahaha! ohh\~
AAAAAAAAAH Whaddya want with, mee?!
Well calm down, hun. I’m just gonna take you to my secret lair, and we’re gonna have some fun. If you know what I mean, huhuhuh. Ohhh\~
AHHH let go of me! Nooo! Don’t take me away to your secret place! I don’t even know who you are!
Oh, Koneko-chan! You have such kawaii underwear, nyaa\~! Ohh it’s so pretty, and pink, uuuuu nyaaa\~
Oh Raku-chan, your white underwear is very kawaii too, nya?
Ohoho! Thank you very, very much! Huhh Koneko-chan you flatter me so MUCH hmmhmm! Nya\~ desuuuu!\~
Uhuh! I can’t wait to try on this kawaii underwear nyaaa desuuuu! It’s soooo kawaiii!\~
Ahh! somebody help meeee…..
Raku-chan, did you hear that?
Ohh… it sound like Hitoshi! Is he in trouble? Oh we better go find him! Come on Koneko-chan!
Koneko-chan, I think the van went this way! Let’s goooo, nyaaaa\~
Over there, Raku-chan, that’s the van that took Hitoshi-san!
Hitoshi-san, nyaaa. Desuuu..
What are you gonna do with me? Get awaaayyy!
Like I said, we’re just gonna have some fun.
I’m not even supposed to be here! You have no right
You give off chill troll vibes
you give off chill troll vibes like you lowkey like to RDM but you read the rules and got impulse control so you would never RDM if you know what i mean. im a troll too and it makes me happy when i see you playing cuz it feels like i can play on this server too. good on you bro thank you so much
https://redd.it/1lmdd7w
@r_copypasta
Oh my god im finally early to one of your posts!
Oh my god im finally early to one of your posts! Aaand I don't know what to say...Dang it brain! Think of something funny!! 😅 Welp.. this is awkward huh?
https://redd.it/1lmarol
@r_copypasta
Rainbow six siege X top steam review
1 star because Steam won’t let me rate in emotional scars
2,000+ hours. (1.1 console, 900pc)
I could’ve learned a language, mastered an instrument, or healed from childhood trauma. Instead, I learned how to jiggle peak a doorway while my teammates mentally unzipped their pants and team killed me for existing with 2 more kills than them.
You think this is a tactical shooter? No. This is a psychological experiment wrapped in an anti cheat placebo, duct taped to a treadmill of rage and sarcasm. The devs say it’s about strategy. Reality? It’s about who can swing harder, faster, and more erratically than a raccoon on bath salts.
Let’s talk audio….oh sorry, I meant the haunting whispers of regret. It’s surround sound if surround sound came with gaslighting. Hear a guy above you? Surprise! he’s below, no in your walls, actually he’s already teabagging your corpse with a victory charm he got from logging in during operation health. My headset wasn’t backwards. My hope was.
And then there’s the operator reworks.
Remember Blackbeard? He used to be a meme with a glass jaw. Now he’s got a riot shield taped to his dreams, runs through walls like a Kool-Aid man with a vengeance, and beams you with an AR while air thrusting yelling get sum. If you suck, you pick a shield. If you’re cracked and sadistic, you also pick a shield. It’s the circle of toxicity.
Oh, and realism? Don’t even.
Sledge is Master Chief now. Dude’s cosplaying Halo with a gravity hammer, breaking walls and my will to play.
Blitz looks like he stepped out of Warframe to show me what Hiroshima saw a half second before God closed the curtains.
Fiinka , who I’m pretty sure is undead now, juice boxes her teammates to super soldier status while rocking a skin that makes you question if this game’s still rated M or if it descended into one of the 9 gates of hell.
Then there’s Glaz, our heat seeking Soviet Terminator. He sits outside, scoped in like he’s IRS auditing your life decisions, waiting to ruin your round and possibly your relationship.
Meanwhile Ash is still doing Ash thingsno hitbox, no brakes, and no remorse. Full sends a site like a chihuahua that heard a doorbell.
And let’s not forget Ranked, aka “Social Darwinism with packet loss.” There’s no such thing as fair matches. You either queue with a hacker from Kazakhstan who crash lands your game with 40 kills and a bad mic, or you get matched with 4 actual potatoes and an 8-year-old with Bluetooth audio delay. Hidden MMR? Yeah it’s real. And it works against you. You’re not gaining elo, you’re digging through drywall with a spoon while the cheaters have jackhammers and dev skins.
This game didn’t fall off. It tripped, broke its spine, looked up and said ‘worth’, then monetized the ambulance ride.
And yet… I still play. Why?
Because therapy is expensive and nothing humbles the soul like being flashbanged 8 times by some Asian chick, and your team screaming at you for breathing wrong.
Would I recommend it?
Only to people I deeply resent or to my future self when I’m feeling a little too mentally stable.
https://redd.it/1lma93b
@r_copypasta
Do you guys wash your balls?
I hadn't washed mine for 8 months, and decided to finally do it because it had a really bad odor.
But I gotta be honest, I regretted this decision immediately. It was just slippery and slimey afterward, and I wasn't able to handle it as well.
Idk, I just couldn't shoot it that day. And tbh, it smells even worse now.
https://redd.it/1lm02th
@r_copypasta