Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
Am I the only one?
It’s hard for me to empathize with normies because of the extreme IQ difference (mine being substantially higher, of course). That’s why I only use Reddit
You have to have a very high IQ to understand Reddit. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of atheism most of the jokes will go over a typical normie’s head. People who dislike Reddit truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Reddit’s meme "Big Chungus”. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as r/dankmemes genius unfolds itself on their phone screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Reddit tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
https://redd.it/1m0t3mv
@r_copypasta
top 5 reason why i hate noobs
hey guys today im gonna be giving you the top five reasons… uhm, why i hate noobs. reason number 1 is, uh… when you ha- when they- when theyre a noob they pretend to have robux, and they put uhhh they put items on like that and when they really ha- they have no robux. no robux and then they pretend to be cool. uh top two reasons why i hate noobs, is because theyre really really annoying. uhm they do th- they do this, theyll have the selfie and then theyll, uhm then they ge- they then get in the car, and then they go inside your house, and thats really annoying, when theyre by a house in life in paradise they always go in my house when i lock the door but they still found a way in. number- top three reasons why i hate noobs is um theyre really bad at spelling. i- thats not how you spell drowning. and thats one of the noobs that puts the- that puts the- thats puts the robux items on, that really has no robux, so thats two things i dont like about her. uhm, top five reasons i- the fifth reason why i hate- uhh, noobs, is because theyre- theyre dumb. why did this girl go in here? she- she doesnt know how to play roblox. and she also has no robux, and shes pretending like she has robux. so, thats the top five reasons why i hate noobs. um, so subscribe to my, uh.. luisgamercool23, if you also hate noobs, and if you want me to make another youtube video, uh, just let me know, thank you.
https://redd.it/1m0pjvk
@r_copypasta
I'd knock your fucking lights out I swear
I'd knock your fucking lights out I swear. You act like someone that has never been knocked the fuck out. Big and tough on the internet, you think you can say whatever the fuck you want with no respect whatsoever. Fuck you, rot in hell motherfucker.
https://redd.it/1m0n2r0
@r_copypasta
If kids ran the airport
If kids ran the airport and chocolate were boarding passes, it would be an unmitigated security failure — not just a disaster, but a full-scale breach of national and international aviation integrity, on par with a modern-day Pentagon-level catastrophe. Replacing legitimate, encrypted, biometrically-verified boarding passes with chocolate, a perishable, easily replicated, and completely unsecured object, would obliterate every safeguard in global air travel. Terrorists, traffickers, and hostile actors wouldn’t need to hack encrypted systems — they’d just need a goddamn Hershey bar. You think forged documents are a threat now? Try stopping someone at the gate when there’s no way to verify if that half-melted Snickers came from duty-free or the back pocket of a saboteur. Imagine an international incident where a wanted fugitive boards a transatlantic flight to a secure diplomatic summit using a bar of chocolate as clearance. No traceability, no logs, no identity checks — just sugar and blind chaos. Planes rerouted, airspace compromised, lives endangered. This isn’t just childish — it’s an active dismantling of civil aviation infrastructure, and it would take years to recover. Global trust in air safety would shatter overnight, borders would close, and air commerce would collapse under the weight of this idiotic, delusional, candy-fueled coup.
https://redd.it/1m0i5xv
@r_copypasta
I want to crawl under my girlfriends skin
She's so pretty but my bad She's not real ugh I wish she were real, feeling all the nerves, tendons, bones and muscles ughhhhhh. Have you ever played Rugby? Life is Roblox
https://redd.it/1m0dgmi
@r_copypasta
Trump talking about Epstein on TruthSocial
What’s going on with my “boys” and, in some cases, “gals?” They’re all going after Attorney General Pam Bondi, who is doing a FANTASTIC JOB! We’re on one Team, MAGA, and I don’t like what’s happening. We have a PERFECT Administration, THE TALK OF THE WORLD, and “selfish people” are trying to hurt it, all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein. For years, it’s Epstein, over and over again. Why are we giving publicity to Files written by Obama, Crooked Hillary, Comey, Brennan, and the Losers and Criminals of the Biden Administration, who conned the World with the Russia, Russia, Russia Hoax, 51 “Intelligence” Agents, “THE LAPTOP FROM HELL,” and more? They created the Epstein Files, just like they created the FAKE Hillary Clinton/Christopher Steele Dossier that they used on me, and now my so-called “friends” are playing right into their hands. Why didn’t these Radical Left Lunatics release the Epstein Files? If there was ANYTHING in there that could have hurt the MAGA Movement, why didn’t they use it? They haven’t even given up on the John F. Kennedy or Martin Luther King, Jr. Files. No matter how much success we have had, securing the Border, deporting Criminals, fixing the Economy, Energy Dominance, a Safer World where Iran will not have Nuclear Weapons, it’s never enough for some people. We are about to a achieve more in 6 months than any other Administration has achieved in over 100 years, and we have so much more to do. We are saving our Country and, MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, which will continue to be our complete PRIORITY. The Left is imploding! Kash Patel, and the FBI, must be focused on investigating Voter Fraud, Political Corruption, ActBlue, The Rigged and Stolen Election of 2020, and arresting Thugs and Criminals, instead of spending month after month looking at nothing but the same old, Radical Left inspired Documents on Jeffrey Epstein. LET PAM BONDI DO HER JOB — SHE’S GREAT! The 2020 Election was Rigged and Stolen, and they tried to do the same thing in 2024 — That’s what she is looking into as AG, and much more. One year ago our Country was DEAD, now it’s the “HOTTEST” Country anywhere in the World. Let’s keep it that way, and not waste Time and Energy on Jeffrey Epstein, somebody that nobody cares about. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
https://redd.it/1m05i12
@r_copypasta
Gay scat is romantic
Idk why this fetish isn’t more common with gay guys. I personally love shit, it’s really romantic to have a hot man shit in your mouth, hearing it coming out, feeling it, smelling it and sucking on it while its hanging from a mana hole is so intimate. A man eating a mans shit means that they find them trustworthy, they find them attractive and are ready to have a taste of their feces. Hard or soft, firm or runny, there’s really nothing that can make me say no to a man offering me his shit. That’s a gift i’m never saying no to ❤️
https://redd.it/1m00s1c
@r_copypasta
Trump was undercover saving America
Nah you don't understand Trump wasn't friends with Epstein, it was all part of the long game. He was undercover for nearly 20 years, trying to expose a massive global sex trafficking ring. Trump had to pretend to be chummy with Epstein, smile in photos and make small talk he hated every second of it. But since he was an actor. That’s what made him the perfect mole.
Behind the scenes, Trump was feeding info to the FBI. That’s actually how Epstein got charged in the first place. But Trump wasn’t done yet he had to keep up the act. That’s why he made that weird wish Ghislaine Maxwell well comment during her trial. But just as the truth was starting to break through, Epstein “kills himself” in a federal prison in a BLUE STATE.
If the truth had come out during that trial, it would have implicated the Clintons, several democrats and of course most of woke Hollywood.
Do you honestly believe a family loving, American flag hugging Man would harm children???
https://redd.it/1lzvw6u
@r_copypasta
team battles robots and the remaining Classic mercenaries
1987: According to God himself, Scout dies
2024: An elderly Saxton and Maggie find themselves at the edge of a cliff, surrounded by a pack of angry cheetahs after fist-fighting a prior cheetah pack. After a brief exchange, they eagerly ready themselves to fight the rest of the cheetahs.
https://redd.it/1lzrpld
@r_copypasta
if kids ran the airport
if kids ran the airport, the boarding passes would be chocolate bars! security checks? just walk through a unicorn that sneezes sparkles. every plane serves unlimited pizza, even the pilot eats with you! flight delays come with trampoline zones and cotton candy coulds!!!. and your SuitCase? a talking backpack that tells jokes!!!! so where would you fly if kids ruled the skies?
https://redd.it/1lzobl3
@r_copypasta
That part.
I just wanted to make a sandwich. But the bread… the bread reminded me of the weight of inherited expectations. I opened the fridge and stared into the void. The mustard stared back.
https://redd.it/1lzgkns
@r_copypasta
Damn liberals... making Spingeboon a homoerotic degenerate
Damn liberals... Making Spingeboon a homoerotic degenerate. The Sporkbork I know would passionately make out with Pandrake instead of gawking at his posterior with such libido. They would cuddle before Spunklebork whispers sweet nothings into Phatdick's ear instead of whispering sweet sloppy toppies on his pickle!!!
Where is the love? Modern snorkelboob doesn't even ask a man out to dinner before eating out his bootyhole. The bare minimum. Damn Nicklerodian. I blame Gunter Czisch for this. 😭😭😭💦💦💦💔💔💔
Literally shidding, pissing, crying and cumming because of this post. Damn you Nickelodeon!!!!
https://redd.it/1lz3zd1
@r_copypasta
Bee-Ess-Dee thing? It’s like a puzzle for sinners!” I bit my tongue, resisting the urge to defend FreeBSD’s honor again.
When I finally handed her the laptop with Windows 10, a plain desktop, and Solitaire front and center, she clicked around suspiciously. “This looks right,” she said, opening her recipe folder and nodding. “No more cartoons or green letters?” I shook my head. “None, ma’am. Just Windows, like you wanted.” She gave me a curt nod, then leaned in. “You tell that grandson of mine he’s not touching this again. And you will stop putting devil pictures on old ladies’ computers!”
I cringed, how would I tell the beauty of an anime girl to a boomer? Sigh, I said yes you're right to her, while fake smiling. They wouldn't know the beauty of FreeBSD.
As she marched out, I slumped in my chair, exhausted. My coworker peeked over, grinning. “Dude, you tried to make a grandma run FreeBSD? You’re lucky she didn’t hit you with that purse.” I groaned, deleting the anime wallpaper from my mental archives. Lesson learned: never underestimate a grandma, and stick to Windows for anyone over 70. Meanwhile, I bet her grandson’s still crying into his Arch Linux forums, banned from her PC for life.
https://redd.it/1lyy5xg
@r_copypasta
In the 1980s I was a high-powered salaryman working in the pachinko industry in Osaka
In the 1980s I was a high-powered salaryman working in the pachinko industry in Osaka focusing on design and advertising. I had a wife and two children and I drank heavily most nights of the week. Being a fan of anime at the time in Japan was completely socially acceptable and not unusual for working adults. Popular anime series during that period included Urusei Yatsura, Mobile Suit Gundam, Space Battleship Yamato, Captain Tsubasa, Dr. Slump, Kinnikuman, Fist of the North Star, and Cat’s Eye. Many of my colleagues also watched anime or read manga and there were open discussions in the office about recent episodes or plot developments especially regarding Gundam or Hokuto no Ken. Nobody thought it was childish or strange. I once attended an anime convention in Nagoya in the early 1980s. I was chain smoking heavily and very drunk after several hours of drinking. While standing outside the venue I witnessed a stabbing across the street. I did not recognize the individuals involved and I did not approach. I left the area quickly out of fear leaving behind a rare Kinnikuman plush I had purchased earlier in the day. After reaching the end of the street I decided I needed to retrieve the plush. I returned to the area but by then the police had arrived and the suspect was no longer present. I was stopped and questioned by an officer and asked what I was doing in the area. I told him I had left my Kinnikuman plush behind and I pointed to it where it had fallen near a cigarette vending machine. They asked me a few more questions and checked my ID. I was allowed to leave with the plush and was not held. I returned to my hotel alone and did not tell my wife about the incident.
https://redd.it/1lypq3f
@r_copypasta
# Im so done with r/trans
here's 4 paragraphs/sentences why.
1. the mods are so 1984.
2. the mods are so 1984. why are there 14 rules???? that's the most i've seen on reddit!!!
3. the mods are so 1984. im not in the subreddit and never looked at any posts from there but i think the mods are so 1984.
4. the mods are so 1984. i haven't read the book yet btw but this is what i think it's like
https://redd.it/1lyt486
@r_copypasta
this game much bad!!!!
I let mine 5 year old son play this game because he sad he liked game and want very much so I buy game for him but little later he come to me and say "daddy this game much scary!!" I look at game and it say: "ZOMBIE EAT YOU BRAIN!!!" and me was shock. how can this game be allow for childs? this game has blood and violins, zombie eat your vegetables!! zombie may no eat vegetable, my son eat vegetable!! he is now life shock and he have to take pills everyday!! tanks so very much electric art!!! this game much bad and scary, I rate 16 and over!! not play this game, this very
innapropait!!! u has been warning
https://redd.it/1m0rww5
@r_copypasta
One time this guy said he was gay just so he wouldn't have to fuck me in front of his wife
OK, so one time this guy said he was gay just so he wouldn't have to fuck me in front of his wife. But then he called me the next day and said he couldn't stop thinking about my voice. He came over and we smoked his weed and he kept saying he didn't want to cheat, and said OK, but your dick's already out Then he cried because reminded him of his cousin who overdosed. I asked if he was still gay and he said only when he drinks. I said OK, well, I'm only straight when I come. He didn't get it but he still gave me sixty bucks.
https://redd.it/1m0okmg
@r_copypasta
This is the second time I've been accused of using chatgpt and now I'm irate. I've always used em-dashes. The alt-code is ALT+0151. I graduated with a degree in journalism (summa cum laude because i am a genius) on the back of my ability to sprinkle in em-dashes. What would you rather I use? Gay lit
This is the second time I've been accused of using chatgpt and now I'm irate. I've always used em-dashes. The alt-code is ALT+0151. I graduated with a degree in journalism (summa cum laude because i am a genius) on the back of my ability to sprinkle in em-dashes. What would you rather I use? Gay little en-dashes? Commas, which are for the queers? Hyphens? Oh I think I'm gonna be sick
https://redd.it/1m0lpwe
@r_copypasta
𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉
CURSE OF RA
𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆
https://redd.it/1m0ffla
@r_copypasta
I think my cat is an Irani spy
So get this, right? I was busy stroking my shit on some Minecraft Alex when my cat walked into my room, right? Now, get this, I swear to god he spoke fluent fucking Arabic into a walkie talkie. Should I be concerned? Cuz listen to this, right. I saw the fucker crafting trinitrotoluene and packing that shit into some red sticks. Plus, get this, right, he's been doing nothing but playing counter strike for the past 2 weeks, is something off with my cat? Cuz get this right, I think he's an Irani spy
https://redd.it/1m09pl5
@r_copypasta
Trump STOLE the farts out of my bunghole
I said some negative things about Trump today and I noticed I have been A LOT less windy. This is bullshit. Even though I sometimes don't like farts they are MY FARTS and I own them FREE AND CLEAR. It doesn't even make sense because why would that old windbag want a bunch of extra stinky wind. But it makes sense (aside from that minor point). Is there a sub where I can petition witches to cast some counter curses or spells or whatever they do over there. I love women (but also support men that want to witch as well -- it's not a gender thing).
https://redd.it/1m03i7v
@r_copypasta
NO MUSTARD IN THE WAR
We're griddy—griddy—griddy—griddy—griddyin' over Ohio —Griddy—griddy—griddy—griddyin' over Ohio — (Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again!) There's no mustard in the war!
Six—seven—four—twenty mile to-day — Four—twenty—sixty-nine the day before — (Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again!) There's no mustard in the war!
Don't—don't—don't—don't—look at what's in front of you. Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again!; Mango—mango—mango—mango—mango mad with watchin' em, An' there's no mustard in the war!
Try—try—try—try—to think o' something skibidi — Oh—my—Gyatt—keep—me from losing aura! (Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again!) There's no mustard in the war!
Count—count—count—count—the fries in the bag. If—your—gyatt—drops—they will get atop o' you! (Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again!) There's no mustard in the war!
We—can—stick—out—'mangoes, mustard, an' aura points, But—not—not—not—not the chronically online of 'em — Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again! There's no mustard in the war!
Rizz—so—bad—by—day because o' skibidi, But night—brings—long—dih—o' sixty-seven million Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again! There's no mustard in the war!
I—'ave—marched—sixty-seven—weeks in Ohio an' certify It—is—not—giveaways,—shoutouts, views, or anything, But Hawks—hawks—hawks—hawks—movin' up an' down again, and there's no mustard in the war!
https://redd.it/1lzyrzn
@r_copypasta
"No, you're NOT a real gamer" In Shakespearean
Nay, thou art no true gamester.
Fie upon this age, wherein every knave and maid with a toy in hand proclaimeth themselves of the sacred order: "Gamester". A jest! A farce! A most lamentable untruth!
I am sorely vexed, yea, vexèd unto mine very soul, by these charlatans who prattle: "Lo, I have played an hundred hours of this diversion! 'Tis wondrous!"
An hundred hours? Ha! A mere trifle! A droplet in the vast sea of mine own devotion! Know'st thou not? A true gamester weareth the crown only when he hath endured three hundred hours and more in each and every title within his vault.
And lo, what see I next? Peasants armed but with a Switch, a bauble for children, crying out that they are gamesters born and bred! Ahahaha! Be gone! Return to me when thine hands have known the sacred weight of a Playstation sceptre! Then, perchance, we may speak as equals.
Now hear this, ye women of the realm, and mark it well. Pokémon? A mere jest. Animal Crossing? A nursery for minds yet weaned. The Sims? Sorcery for idle ladies with too much time and too little honour. Mario? The jester's folly. Stardew Valley? A hoe in hand doth not a warrior make. Mobile games? Cursed be their name thricefold! They are not, nor shall ever be, true games!
Lay down thy sugar-sweet toys and take up a challenge worth the name. Let thy fingers bleed upon the buttons of adversity! Let thy soul be crushed and reforged in the crucible of true difficulty! Only then mayst thou claim the honoured title of GAMESTER.
With disdain most righteous,
The Brotherhood of Actual Gamesters
https://redd.it/1lzufw7
@r_copypasta
The entire TF2 timeline
4000BC: Merasmus the wizard is born
???: Shakespearicles, the strongest man to ever live, invents rocket jumping.
1680: The DeGroot family (Demoman’s) begins producing rum.
1822: The Administrator hourds Australium, a precious metal that can adapt and shift to different forms, with health effects causing extra strength and slows aging to a near-stop. Redmond, Bluetarch and Grey Mann are born, but Grey Mann is later taken by The Eagle of London.
1849: Grey Mann blackmails his father to get his Australium.
1850: The father of the Mann brother’s will is read, giving all his Australium to the Administrator. Australia becomes the world’s most advanced country.
1857: Abraham Lincon invents stairs so people no longer have to rocket jump.
1880:The woman who in 10 years will convince Radigan Conagher (Engineer’s father) to build an additional Life Extender Machine begins her search for Australium
1890: Blutarch Mann commissions Radigan Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine. The Administrator requests Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine for Redmond Mann as well.
1894: Conager finishes his Life Extender Machines.
1900: Mann Co invents robots to only be used for violence.
1910: Mann Co. wins their bid to be the sole munitions supplier to Reliable Excavation (Redmound’s company RED) and Demolition and Builder's League United (Blutarch’s company BLU) mercenaries.
1921: Franklin D. Roosevelt loses both of his legs while rocket jumping. As a result, he perfects the modern staircase.
1930: Team Fortress Classic takes place - Redmond and Blutarch Mann hire the Classic Mercs to battle in the Gravel Wars. Bilious Hale (Relative of Saxton Hale) of Mann Co supplies them with weapons and ammunition.
1932: New Zealand is encapsulated in a dome and sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean due to them thinking the world is going to end.
1949 The Soldier ends his Nazi killing spree in Poland upon hearing that World War II had already ended in 1945.
1957: While Saxton Hale and Margret are beating panthers to death, Charles Darling absconds with the panthers to put them in his new animal dungeon.
1962: The alcoholic Demoman's body begins to scrounge most of its nutrients from grain alcohol and aspirin.
1965: The Engineer creates several mechanical contraptions, including the Sentry Gun, while under contract with TF Industries.
1968: The Gravel War - the main setting for Team Fortress 2 and a continuation of the first gravel wars, with new mercs.
1971: In the Teufort Library, microfiche genealogy records are destroyed "for no reason", leaving only paper originals. Gray Mann assassinates Redmond and Blutarch Mann to gain control of their respective corporations. This marks the end of The Gravel War. The ghosts of Redmond and Blutarch Mann enlist the final services of their mercenaries, each team to carry the other brother's body to Hell. Saxton Hale fights and captures the last surviving Yeti. Catching wind of Gray Mann's plans to use an army of robots to gain control of Mann Co., Saxton re-hires both RED and BLU unemployed mercenary teams to protect his company and kill robots without pay.The Medic returns to his home country, studying and perfecting reanimation and male pregnancy. In the midst of the Robot War, Miss Pauling and the mercenaries struggle to defend Mann Co.'s sprawling domain. The Soldier reveals that he is able to infiltrate Gray Gravel Co. and learn their battle plans by wearing a cardboard robot costume. Wearing more of the same, Miss Pauling, Soldier, and Heavy infiltrate the base together a week later, witnessing the unveiling of the Mecha-Engineer.
1972: Gray Mann surrenders to Saxton Hale. Olivia Mann wins the Mann Co. Challenge, transferring ownership to Gray. The Administrator orders Miss Pauling to reassemble the mercenaries. Gray and Olivia search for Australium, finding it missing. Soldier, Scout, Spy, and Demoman face legal trouble. Heavy reunites with his family, and Sniper learns about his birth parents. The Team Fortress Classic team hunts the TF2 team. The TF2
r/childfree peak poetry
“It’s the best thing ever” maybe you just don’t want to admit you’re stuck now with no return policy.
Some people go way too hard justifying why having kids is the “best thing in the world.”
You’ll hear stuff like:
“You’ll never understand real love until you have a child.”
“The smile of my kid after a 12-hour shift takes away all the stress.”
“You’ll regret not having kids later in life.”
And I’m like… maybe the real issue is you’re too deep in now to admit it’s not all sunshine and roses.
Like, you work a 12-hour soul-sucking job, spend a bomb on school fees, toys, doctor visits, and live in a constant state of financial anxiety and your reward is one smile from a tiny human who will soon grow up and ask for an iPhone 23 and hate you by 13.
Maybe if you didn’t have a kid, you wouldn’t NEED that one smile to feel alive. Maybe you could actually work a job you like because you’re not tied down by a mountain of responsibilities. I have seen my parents barely living life, always on saving mode, this investment , that investment. School, college, coaching fees and the stress they take with every f*cking exam. And they expect result for this investment and if your kid turnout to be a dumb shit like me who didnt make it to top college would you be fine with that or you are also gonna tell your kid that its their fault and you are not good enough. Or are you expecting a child with 200+ iq ?
It feels like cognitive dissonance sometimes, like they have to believe it’s the best thing ever, because admitting regret would break them. So they project that pressure onto everyone else: “You’ll understand one day,” “You’ll regret it later,” “You’re being selfish.”
Nah man, maybe I’m just choosing a different kind of peace. One where I don’t get woken up at 3am with a siren beside my ears. One where i had some sort of freedom in this capitalistic prison we are living in. One where i can extend my nap for 2 hours more because i dont have to make breakfast for someone and take them to school.
Some of us are happy raising cats, plants, or just ourselves. And that should be okay too.
And even if i regret it some day. It i'll just add with all the other regrets i have like i should have asked her out, or shouldnt have done engineering and shouldnt have farted in the lecture hall thinking nobody would know. But guess what they know ... 😔
https://redd.it/1lzp0sg
@r_copypasta
Kevin stop sprinkling emojis on your posts like you’re frosting a corpse
Listen up, you emoji-sprinkling, upvote-begging, cat-ear-wearing wannabe memelords! 😾 You think meowing in a group chat or posting “Curse you Perry the Platypus” 500 times makes you quirky? Nah, it just screams “I have no personality, so I’ll cosplay as a Reddit thread from 2015!” 🙄 Get a grip—your life’s not a Fortnite dance montage, and no one’s giving you a gold star for spamming bubble wrap pops. 💥 POP POP POP—yeah, that’s the sound of your originality imploding.
You’re out here acting like a 12-year-old throwing a DualShock 4 at your mom, claiming you “planned 9/11” for clout, while your gaming laptop’s RGB fans cause a citywide blackout. 💻🌩️ Bro, that 700lb beast isn’t a computer—it’s a war crime. And don’t get me started on your “musket for home defense” fantasy. 🧑🎨 You’re not a founding father; you’re just LARPing as a revolutionary war reenactor who missed the memo that smoothbores suck. Your neighbor’s dog is collateral damage, and your cannon’s grape shot just set off every car alarm in the tri-state area. 🐶💣
Oh, you’re a “heart surgeon” who “accidentally” killed Kim Jong Un? Sure, and I’m the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar conglomerate reading meemee pasta on my $2,500 phone while flying to my third world domination meeting this week. ✈️ Stop begging for upvotes like a karmawhore on r/circlejerk. I’ve got a spreadsheet tracking your low-effort posts, and you’re two strikes away from an in-person “consultation” with my banhammer. 🔨 Kevin, I’m looking at you—sprinkling emojis on stale copypasta like it’s glitter on a turd. 💩✨
TL;DR: Quit pretending your cat fetish or upvote-begging posts are copypasta. Post real content or go back to flossing in Forteen-Nights™. 🦷 And for every upvote this gets, I’ll yeet one more low-effort karmagrab into the void. Curse you, Perry the Platypus! 🦔
https://redd.it/1lzbhhc
@r_copypasta
It's been a year daddy 😢😢😢
It's been a year daddy 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢I really really miss you 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔Mommy says you went to the store to get milk 🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀Anyways I'm failing all my classes 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 and Mommy hits me very frequently 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and she changed my name to... TICKLE TIPSON 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😭😭😭😭😭😭😓😓😞😞😞😞😞
(Note, don't copy this: This is a joke, and I do not mean to mock anybody who has lost their father in 9/11.)
https://redd.it/1lyzf04
@r_copypasta
I purged Linux from a PC of a grandma that her grandson installed
I work at a retail shop, so there was an really old lady that come to our store today. She wanted me to just "install something that works" I took that she was old, I thought she meant an OS. So, she said her grandson was a dork and he installed something called Linux, which I checked and it was Arch Linux. He just installed Arch Linux into her grandma's PC? Who does that?
So she couldn't use it. As a good person I am, I was gonna install something that works. Something like Windows. So therefore, I choose FreeBSD because it was really better than Linux, it was a more complete OS. Not just kernel parts from this and GNU from there. Just it was a more complete operating system.
I proceeded to install FreeBSD to it. I setup XFCE and all. Then I gave her the laptop, and off she went without looking at the beautiful, sexy anime girl I set up for it's desktop. Shame, she was pretty; I mean the anime girl.
So the next day she came back, "I just wanted to play solitaire, what is this? This is no Windows. Install me Windows not this!" I told her how FreeBSD was better than Linux and Windows both, and FreeBSD was a complete operating system, not like Linux. It was developed all together.
I stood there, trying to explain the glory of FreeBSD to this grandma, who was clutching her laptop like it was a cursed artifact. “Ma’am,” I said, “FreeBSD is top-tier. It’s not a patchwork like Linux, and it’s way more reliable than Windows. You’ll never deal with random updates breaking your bingo games!” But her eyes narrowed, and she jabbed a finger at me. “Young man, I don’t care about your fancy Bee-Ess-Dee. I want my Solitaire, my recipe folder, and my church newsletter emails. This thing’s got a devil cartoon on it! That is so anti-christ!” She meant the BSD daemon wallpaper, which, okay, maybe the anime girl was a tad much.
I tried showing her how to launch XFCE and open Solitaire, but she was having none of it. “I typed ‘startx’ like your little paper said, and now there’s a black screen with green letters asking me to ‘login’! What’s a login? I just want my cards!” Apparently, she’d somehow borked the system and ended up at a terminal prompt. I peeked at the laptop—yep, she’d managed to uninstall half the desktop environment trying to “fix” it herself. Grandma was savage.
She said "My grandson's Linux was better than this." I heard that and I grow red, and got angry. "Ma'am, what the hell are you talking about? FreeBSD is so much better. It has BSD license, not GPL!! For even this, it's so much better!!"
I couldn’t believe my ears. “Ma’am, what the hell are you talking about? FreeBSD is so much better. It has the BSD license, not GPL! That alone makes it superior!” I blurted, my inner tech nerd taking over before I could stop myself. Grandma’s jaw dropped, and she clutched her purse tighter, looking at me like I’d just spoken in tongues. “License? GPL? Young man, I don’t care about your alphabet soup! I just want my Solitaire and my church emails, not this devil-worshipping nonsense!” She pointed at the screen, where the BSD daemon’s cheeky grin mocked us both.
I took a deep breath, realizing I’d just yelled at a grandma about open-source licenses. Bad move. “Okay, ma’am, I’m sorry,” I said, raising my hands in surrender. “Let’s get you back to something familiar.” She huffed, “You better, or I’m telling your manager you’re preaching computer voodoo!” I winced, imagining my boss hearing about this disaster.
I sat down, plugged in the laptop, and saw the carnage she’d wrought. Somehow, in her quest to “fix” things, she’d run pkg remove xfce4* and nuked the desktop environment, leaving just a terminal blinking angrily. I had to admire her chaos, even if it was accidental. “Alright, ma’am, I’ll put Windows on it. No more weird stuff,” I promised.
While Windows 10 installed, I backed up her files—mostly PDFs of “Grandma’s Secret Fudge” and emails about the church bake sale. She hovered over me, muttering, “My grandson’s Linux at least had a start button. This
HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP THATS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP THATS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND YOU EVEN THOUGH YOUR GLOBE. YOU DUMB DIRTY ASS BITCH. THE WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. SHUT THE FUCK UP. KILL YOURSELF. walks away
https://redd.it/1lysjnq
@r_copypasta
Hey kitten, kitten respond 😡
Hey kitten, kitten respond, kitten I'm going to count to 3 you better respond, 1, 2, 3, 😡😡😡😡 turns into a alpha bad boy wolf HOW DARE YOU NOT RESPOND KITTEN. rips off shirt in anger THATS IT 🐺 🐺🐺🐺🐺 throws kitten acorss the room and beats you up KITTEN. 🐺🐺🐺they frowls and grabs you by the neck THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T RESPOND. they realizes what they did and lets you go KITTEN I'M SORRY AWOOOOOOO 😢😢😢😦😦😦🐺🐺🐺🐟🏳️🌈turns into a baddie uwu emo queen mermaid fairy hybrid 🧚🧚🧚🧚🧜♀️🧜♀️🧜♀️🧜♀️ KITTEN I'M SORRY she flies you to the hospital and waits patiently KITTEN WITTEN MUFFIN SHAKE I'M SORRY I HURT YOU.. 😦😦😦😦🐺🐺🐺🐺🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🐟🐟🐟😢😢😢😢
https://redd.it/1lutc0r
@r_copypasta