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Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
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It's a known fact that all N64 owners are gay
It's been a known fact that N64 owners are gay. You all like to play cute games like Banjo and Yoshi while bashing games like Tomb Raider simply because the main character is a woman. Now you are all anticipating the arrival of the gayest N64 game of them all, Zelda 64. You all can't wait to play the game with that delicate little elf with the big earrings. Why's the game even called Zelda? Shouldn't it be called Link? Maybe Link secretly wants to become Zelda? You N64 drones are welcome to this gay game. Coming soon, another gay game, Conkers...
https://redd.it/1l10efq
@r_copypasta
LEARN TO PRONOUNCE LITTLE CEASERS
Whenever I go to Little Caesars, the employees say “see-zurs”. Many people don’t find this to be an issue but I absolutely do. I am an intellectual who is fluent in Latin. Ergo, I notice when people pronounce Latin words incorrectly. The pronunciation “see-zur” sounds nothing like the Classical Latin or Ecclesiastical Latin pronunciation of Caesar.
Firstly, the first consonant is pronounced with a k and not an s. Second of all, the first vowel is a long i and not a long e. Thirdly, the second consonant is pronounced with an s and not a z. And last but not least, there is not supposed to be a schwa sound for the last vowel. I am not a very petty person per se; I can tolerate one or two vowel or consonant shifts but four is a bit too much. Even worse, this pronunciation is used by most, if not all, of the employees at Little Caesars; that proves my point on how the managers do not train their employees well.
Res ipsa loquitur, if C.IVLIVS.CAESAR were to hear someone say “see-zur”, he would not recognize a single part of it. I think Little Caesars should train their employees to pronounce the company’s name properly, or else Latin-speaking intellectuals will, ipso facto, find it unpleasant to go to Little Caesars.
https://redd.it/1l0tg3l
@r_copypasta
I have decided to use gemini instead of chatgpt
The main reason is that tying “ge” can be done with 1 hand and doesnt require much effort
But for “ch” is like constant movement to the left which i dont like
Also “ge” are less sites than “ch” so mistakingly searching china is far more happening to me than searing “german furry” by accident
https://redd.it/1l0s1v5
@r_copypasta
Advice from an 8th grader to a 6th grader
Welcome to middle school. You're gonna be tired, you're gonna wish you were still in elementary school sometimes. The halls are cramped and the teachers are annoying. But just remember do your homework, and stay out of trouble. Pick your friends carefully. Don't worry about how people feel about you cause it doesn't matter. Don't be afraid to dress or act different. That grade on that test does not define you. The friends you have right now probably aren't gonna be your friends when you get to 8th. But I promise you you will have great friends that you wouldn't trade for the world. You'll laugh and cry.
Don't try to be perfect. I've walked these halls for three years so take care of it for me, it's a second home. Above all cherish
https://redd.it/1l0pwm4
@r_copypasta
Braaaaa
That's 4 "a"s too much buddy and now you have two options presented before you. You can either correct your spelling and only have lost 1 downvote (mine that I just cast ;) or you can choose to leave your bastardized form of the English language on exhibition and get a few hundred downvotes. Since you only have 200 karma in 2 years on reddit I recommend you choose wisely 😉
https://redd.it/1l0m60u
@r_copypasta
Ever hear of an open marriage?
Ever heard of an open marriage? I broke someone earlier today. In a good way. He couldn’t even move when I was done. His husband is useless as far as that goes, and my wife is basically ace, but we’re an unbeatable team in every other way. So it works for everyone.
https://redd.it/1l0fzx5
@r_copypasta
That time the Batman seduced me and took my virginity
Alright. So this subreddit is probably the only place I can post about this without instantly being commuted into a asylum probably, and this is the main reason I’m scared of the hatman, this all started from a gram of these pink pills because I was feeling brave. So maybe a hour into the trip this big black dude struts into my living room like he owns the place, sits down on the couch seductively like my grandfather does, and goes, “Damn… you really took the whole gram, huh? That’s hot.” At this point I was terrified and starting to think I’ll be getting ass fucked by this mother fucking beast of a shadow man, subtle foreshadowing thought actually. So like any rational thinking person I try to run but my legs disappeared like my father so I’m stuck in place while this demonic diddy starts reciting poetry about my “soft mortal essence” and calling me “his little sleepytime snack.” He licked his shadowy fingers. I screamed. I tried to turn on the lights but I fell into the doggy style position and quickly turned around to face this guy as he pulled out this actual fucking Excalibur of a shlong probably about 8 inches long to be exact. and continued to get violently assaulted by the hatman whilst hundreds of spiders were clapping and doing the crab dance, but eventually I passed out to the sound of him beatboxing a seductive Gregorian chant that lowkey slapped harder than his hand on my left ass cheek. But yeah. I wouldn’t recommend this experience to really anyone to be honest. And maybe like carry pepper spray if you’re tripping so this doesn’t happen.
https://redd.it/1l0f4al
@r_copypasta
To The Rat Council
To the Rat Council,
I am TIRED. I am EXHAUSTED. I cannot take it anymore. Every other Tuesday, I hear a knock on the door, and who is it? THREE RATS in a TRENCHCOAT. Again. Every time, they try a new voice, a new mustache, a slightly more sophisticated hat. “Hello, sir,” they say, “may I interest you in donating cheese to my ailing sister Gertrude?” NO. NO YOU MAY NOT, RAT MAN.
First of all, your mustache is made of dryer lint and LIES. Second, your trench coat smells like expired milk. And third, I watched one of you FALL OUT OF THE COAT last week and SCAMPER BACK IN like I wouldn’t notice. You think just because you stacked yourselves vertically and put on a fedora, you’re entitled to my Gouda? My Swiss? MY PEPPER JACK? I don’t think so, sir. Or should I say… sirs. And don’t even get me started on the sob story. “Ohhh our poor sister rat has lactose withdrawal.” Then maybe she SHOULDN’T BE A RAT. Or maybe you could go get JOBS like NORMAL RATS. The circus is hiring. Go juggle something.
In conclusion: if I see one more whisker poking out from under that coat, I will be calling animal control AND the fashion police. Good DAY.
https://redd.it/1l0cfkx
@r_copypasta
Piss missles
Sometimes ill pinch my foreskin shut when Im peeing and release a charge-attack. Ive always called them piss missiles!
https://redd.it/1l09gsy
@r_copypasta
My chess gender copypasta
*Sigh*
Final answer at the bottom.
Normally I would say............
Pawn- Undefined (can promote to male AND female pieces)
Knight-If chess is historically accurate, then male (they were always males in medieval times, however it is possible for the knights to be female)
Bishop- Most likely male (In religion, a bishop is Usually male)
Rook-Sentient object. No defined gender ( A rook in chess is a tower constructed with bricks)
Queen-Female (Duh)
King-Male (Duh
BUT...........
Since we do not have a defined way on how pieces have intercourse/reproduce, and that chess pieces cannot be on the the same square, it can be argued that they do not have gender, and are simply enchanted objects
The fact that you can have 2 queens either implies that the king is a Cheater, or that they do not have any real relation with the king and are just powerful
HOWEVER........
Some species of animals have both female and male reproduction organs, or can fertilize their own eggs (the komodo dragon, some sharks, and whiptail lizards, etc) meaning that all chess pieces could have the possibility of laying eggs, making them hermaphrodites, meaning that all chess pieces are a complete genetic mix of females and male, while also making them neither.
The concept of color (white vs black) could be symbolic as some chess pieces are not white OR black, the difference is only to help distinguish allies from foe.
The terms for chess pieces could simply be symbolic (A king as a "alpha" the queen as an powerful ranking creature in the "hierarchy", the bishop and knight as powerful creatures in the hierarchy the rook as a powerful guard, and the pawns as growing cubs)
The real reason that you cannot promote to a king is because you already have one, and in human and animal history you cannot have two alphas at the same time, and you must wait until one is killed in combat and the reason the game ends is because the need to train a pawn to become the new alpha. This means that there could be more than simply 16 pieces per side, as they do not want their tribe to die out in battle. this is further supported in the rematch option (When the winner wants a rematch, it is to further push the opposing side to extinction).
They could be an battle simply because of a dispute or land
The term promote could mean "Evolve", so a pawn becoming a queen could be stated as a Pawn evolving into a queen to further help in invading an opposing sides territory.
The "Capture" ability could simply be a metaphor or a nice way of saying to kill/eat them, as you cannot "uncapture" a piece through normal gameplay,only "Evolve" a pawn to that level/skill
The ability of not having to touch a piece to kill them (en passant) could mean MAGICAL properties)
the rook could also be them adapting to wearing a shell, albeit a rare occurrence.
in short form, they are not males OR females,....................
THEY ARE MAGICAL ADAPTING HERMAPHRODITES! (The terms for the pieces are simply a metaphor for their movement).
Does this make sense?
https://redd.it/1l04oas
@r_copypasta
I deliberately handed in my exam blank
I deliberately handed in my exam blank; not out of incompetence, but out of an act of superior grace. It would have been easy for me to penetrate the questions with the precision of my brilliant mind and provide answers that would have brought tears of awe to the eyes of even the syllabus writers. But I chose not to.
Why?
Because I realized that my teacher—a hardworking but school-battered person—deserved something far more valuable than my flawless performance:
Time. Time with his family. Time to breathe. Time not suffocating under red pens, scorecards, and marking guidelines.
By leaving my paper blank, I gave him nothing less than a whole piece of life back. I generously forwent the applause I would have deserved for my genius, just to allow another person a little peace.
https://redd.it/1kzz17n
@r_copypasta
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My girlfriend told me to “Shut Up”
Except.. it wasn’t any ordinary “Shut Up” - let me explain…
Things were getting heated with my girlfriend, we had a real intense argument over something petty which ends up bringing everything else out of the dust, words were getting thrown, names were being called. My voice was trembling… I really thought we was about to break up. As she stormed into the bedroom to go back her bags, I began to try and reason with her…
That’s when she squinted her face, closing her eyes all angry-like and interrupted me, throwing her hands up by the sides of her face like this ✋😖🤚 and told me to;
“SHUT. UP.”
Except. It wasn’t her voice… it was like a man took over her voice box.
I swear to you, it was a perfect fucking sound bite, word for word, frequency matching sound bite of Smosh. Remember back in the day, Ian and Anthony, with the emo and bowl haircut? Whatever tf their names were. The intro to their videos. It’s what she sounded like.
I was fucking dumbfounded and the room flooded with silence. She continued packing her bags like that didn’t just happen, and I stood there in purgatory for a whole minute, flabbergasted, as she finally finished packing.
I said to her in a shockingly perplexing undertone - confused AsFUCK;
“you.. you just sounded like Smosh?!!?”
She zipped up her bag and said “What??” While shaking her head, still squinting her eyes like she’s had enough of me, and walked out the door without looking back, slamming the frontdoor behind her.
The minute she said shut up, all the sadness left my body and I got over her pretty quick. I haven’t spoken to her for 3 days and I have no clue what she’s up to.
I stood there, still, in my now quiet hallway when she left for a good 3 minutes, contemplating wtf just happened.
It felt like I was in a YouTube poop from back in the day or something, what was the esoteric meaning of this? I thought to myself, did I just imagine the whole thing?
To be honest, I really love her but since then I’m kinda put off. Should I message her? It was kinda freaky. I couldn’t possibly look at her the same and she was genuinely confused herself when she said “What?” Like what am I talking about. How tf am I meant to explain that to her? Kinda wish I recorded it.
https://redd.it/1l0vfw2
@r_copypasta
How do I stop the employees from pronouncing Caesars incorrectly? (Actual post from the Little Caesars subreddit)
Whenever I go to Little Caesars, the employees say “see-zurs”. Many people don’t find this to be an issue but I absolutely do. I am an intellectual who is fluent in Latin. Ergo, I notice when people pronounce Latin words incorrectly. The pronunciation “see-zur” sounds nothing like the Classical Latin or Ecclesiastical Latin pronunciation of Caesar.
Firstly, the first consonant is pronounced with a k and not an s. Second of all, the first vowel is a long i and not a long e. Thirdly, the second consonant is pronounced with an s and not a z. And last but not least, there is not supposed to be a schwa sound for the last vowel. I am not a very petty person per se; I can tolerate one or two vowel or consonant shifts but four is a bit too much. Even worse, this pronunciation is used by most, if not all, of the employees at Little Caesars; that proves my point on how the managers do not train their employees well.
Res ipsa loquitur, if C.IVLIVS.CAESAR were to hear someone say “see-zur”, he would not recognize a single part of it. I think Little Caesars should train their employees to pronounce the company’s name properly, or else Latin-speaking intellectuals will, ipso facto, find it unpleasant to go to Little Caesars.
https://redd.it/1l0sox4
@r_copypasta
It is spelled “down-voting”not “downvoting”.
It is spelled “down-voting”not “downvoting”. I know because the down is what modifies the vote. The average Redditor spells it like “downvote” because they are average. If you want to take the extra step to sound like a high-IQ intellectual, you should spell it like “down-vote”, the more accurate and intellectually-genius spelling.
https://redd.it/1l0ppr7
@r_copypasta
THE APOCALYPSE
The APOCALYPSE is here, again! OH MY GOD. SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME. Pleeeease! Someone! Anyone!
COVID is back in 2025 and it’s basically the end of humanity (again), so please, everyone, remain seated while society collapses in slow motion.
Cases are rising! YOU HEAR ME???? THE CASES, THE CASES are rising!!!!
Time to SHUT IT ALL DOWN, obviously. Schools, colleges, parks, your ability to think critically, everything must go!
And let’s talk about these PANACEA FOR ALL ILLNESSES especially diseases caused by rapidly mutating viruses, the bi-weekly vaccines! Give it to me daily, just to be on the safe side.
Because nothing says "science" like lining up every seven days to get jabbed like it’s a loyalty program: 10 shots and your 11th is free + a sticker! 💉 Soon we’ll have “Vax Fridays” with live DJs and popcorn.
Worried it’s not serious enough? Don’t be! We’re told it’s “mild,” and “not that fatal”, which is the perfect combo for a COLLECTIVE meltdown, right? Because who needs proportion when you’ve got panic? So let’s all do our part: wear six masks, sanitize your groceries again, and
# please remember to report anyone breathing confidently in public. TREAT EVERY PATIENT AS THE ENEMY OF STATE?
Stay scared, stay jabbed, and never forget: cough = catastrophe.
https://redd.it/1l0nkai
@r_copypasta
How could he do this?
I loved Skyblue. I loved everything about her. She wasn't the overly horny girl every said she was. Sure, her physique was very attiring. Sure a lot fopeople were like "she's overly horny and sexualised, she does not deserve love and attention". But she WAS Skyblue. She was the girl who cared about her friends and wanted to genuinely help them, recomfort them, give them motivation when they needed it. She just wanted to have an happy life. This complete redesign...This isn't the Skyblue i know. Chikikiababy should have kept her previous design and keep this one as an alt design like before. Why, Chikiababy ? Why did you change a character who was perfect ? Why isn't she a Sky anymore ? I just want to see the Skyblue i knew. And the thing is that this is the sad truth. She looks like that now. And it's not the only problem... another major issue is that she has canonnically no friends. Congratulation, Chikiababy. You managed to create a character that has the same level of lonelinesse than me. I hate you, Chikiababy. You RUINED what made her charm. she was PERFECT. And YOU ruined it. YOU, CHIKIABABY, should LEAVE her ownership to someone else, a,d GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE FNF AND SKYVERSE COMMUNITY !!!! YOU ARE THE REASON I HATE EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET !!! BY NOW, I AM GOING TO TAKE SKYBLUE, AND DO WHATEVER I WANT, BECAUSE AT LEAST I CARE ABOUT MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND CREATIONS !!! GO COMPLAINT ABOUT IT, IDGAF ANYMORE. I HOPE THIS IS THE LAST TIME I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOU, CHIKIABABY. UNTIL THEN, FAREWELL, TRAITOR.
https://redd.it/1l0ltrr
@r_copypasta
i fucking hate getting ridiculed for liking kens music as a white teenager
its so annoying seeing people calling me corny for liking ken and being white. like it gets to a point sure it can be funny but seeing it everywhere gets on my nerves
https://redd.it/1l0ghsr
@r_copypasta
Jiggle my balls to Niagara falls
Jiggle my balls to Niagara falls. When I see you I'm not just gonna touch you. Huh, Imma fuck you. Imma fuck you real bad. So run. Run the best you can cause when I get my hands on you, it's over. You can pray, you can hope, you can cry all you want but once the chosen is there, you are mine to consume.
https://redd.it/1l0e5fk
@r_copypasta
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Like holy shit fuck you.
What gives you the right?
Who said you could do this?
The gall.
The nerve.
The lion, the witch, and the absolute AUDACITY.
How DARE you make me laugh so goddamn
hard at such a dumb simple pun. I seriously said "lemonade?" and it clicked and I fucking lost it.
Fuck you. This is the fucking winner and everyone else is wrong.
https://redd.it/1l0afut
@r_copypasta
Zelda 64
It's been a known fact that N64 owners are gay. You all like to play
cute games like Banjo and Yoshi while bashing games like Tomb Raider
simply because the main character is a woman. Now you are all
anticipating the arrival of the gayest N64 game of all, Zelda 64. You
all can't wait to play the game with that delicate little elf with the
big earrings. Why's this game even called Zelda? Shouldn't it be called
Link? Maybe Link secretly wants to become Zelda? You N64 drones are
welcome to this gay game. Coming soon, another gay game, Conkers...
https://redd.it/1l08bwe
@r_copypasta
It's on tubu
It's on Tubu. It's literally on Heebee. It's on Poodee with ads. It's literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Weeno. Dude it's on Gumpy. It's a Pheebo original. It's on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log onto Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It's on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you.
https://redd.it/1l00x4r
@r_copypasta
What minifig has the biggest/most prominent breasts? (from r/lego)
I know, I know, insane thing to ask, but I swear it's rooted in genuine curiosity, please don't smite the post on sight. Obviously LEGO is a family friendly brand and they've taken steps, especially in recent years, to preserve that identity, like by toning down military and gun themes, and sort of infamously omitting the visible cleavage from the Slave Leia minifig redesign. That last point got me thinking about how they've differentiated male and female minifigs using waist-slimming paintjobs, makeup, and yes, visible breasts. So how extreme has this gotten? The aforementioned Slave Leia jumps to mind, but I've also seen this Enchanted Island minifig and this cheerleader from a grab bag set. I think Leia still has them beat, but is she the... uh... I can't think of anything catchy that isn't weird. Whatever, this'll probably get removed anyway.
https://redd.it/1kzyc63
@r_copypasta
