-
Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
AITA for refusing to call my sister’s dog “they/them” and ruining the Pride BBQ?
So my family threw this big “inclusive Pride Month BBQ” last weekend. Rainbow flags, vegan burgers, tie-dye, the whole deal. Everyone was buzzing about how “safe” and “affirming” the space was. Cool. Whatever.
Enter my sister (29F) and her dog, Maple — a golden retriever wearing a pastel harness and a bandana that says “They/Them.” I thought it was a quirky accessory. Nope. She now genuinely identifies her dog as non-binary and expects everyone else to do the same.
So I’m hanging out near the grill, tossing Maple a hot dog (ironic, I know), and I say, “Good boy!” My sister gasps like I committed war crimes. She storms over and goes, “They are a good dog. Please don’t misgender Maple.” I literally thought she was joking. I laughed. Mistake.
Suddenly I’m being lectured in front of everyone about “respecting identities regardless of species.” Her partner chimes in with “Your laughter is violence.” Some rando in a crop top starts chanting “Pronouns are not a punchline.” I wish I was making this up.
I said, “I’m not misgendering your dog, I’m using English.” Her roommate called me speciesist. I told them they’ve officially lost their minds. My mom begged me to apologize and “just say they/them” to keep the peace. I refused. I left.
Now I’m getting texts from relatives saying I “ruined Pride” and that I need to “educate myself.” My cousin said I should read a zine called “Pet Queerness and the Gender Spectrum.” No, seriously.
So… AITA for refusing to use they/them for a DOG at a Pride BBQ? Or are we officially living in a simulation?
https://redd.it/1lqtp07
@r_copypasta
It's time to cut the gooning
Look, I understand you've been at it for a long time... but you gotta cut the gooning. I don't care about your streak, I just find it unnecessary in this current time for you to continue, and it's becoming increasingly unacceptable to the people you work with.
It's disrupting the workflow of this establishment, and we here have collectively come to the conclusion that a cease of the gooning is the only way to fix this place.
So here's the plan. I'm offering you 2 weeks to change your gooning ways for the better of this company. If I see improvement from you, I will approve your efforts and continue to work here. But you were to goon again during the timespan... I'm afraid I'll have to fire you.
It's been an honor to have you work here, and you've been such a great help around the place... but enough is enough. Something has to be said against the gooning. It's been way too long without a word against the gooning, but the time has come and we're making a stand.
I understand that gooning means a lot to you and that gooning has been a part of your linage for decades, but this is not the place for your goonish antics. as much as I know that hurts to hear, especially coming from me, you have to cut it out. There's no other way around this.
If we tackle this problem, we have to pull from the roots and get rid of the whole thing once and for all before it comes back and bites our company in the ass even more.
I have faith in you to put a great effort towards this improvement, as I've seen your utmost persistence and determination during hard times for this company, so I'm sure you can contain your gooning as time goes on.
This of course doesn't mean you have to stop gooning entirely. After all, your entire lineage has been gooning for years, I wouldn't want anything to interfere with that. However, I must ask of you to stop with the gooning here or else there's unfortunately gonna have to be consequences.
I hope for you not to let me or my staff down, as we all here are a family and losing you would be the last thing we'd want. It's just the fact your intense "gooning seshes" (As you like to refer to them as) have been rather invasive towards the efficiency of your co-workers, which is not something we want to have happen here.
You know how we work around here, you don't need me to tell you that. We've had an incredible workflow in these past years and I believe that's what's been keeping this company on its feet and going. But as I've said, the gooning is the only thing in the way of maintaining this flow, which is why I ask of you to cut it out here.
I'm proud of how far we've come, and I'm proud of how much you've contributed to our success. I just hope you can put in the effort to stop the gooning in your workplace for the better of this establishment and continue moving forward. A cleansing of gooning, if you will.
If there's any need for assistance you may have, you can ask your co-workers for their aid. I'm sure they'll be willing to assist you, as they care about you just as much as I do. We all understand how much restraint and fortitude is necessary to be able to stop gooning, so I'm certain they will answer your call whenever you cry out for help.
https://redd.it/1lqpqde
@r_copypasta
If I burp/fart one more time my husbands gonna divorce me
Does meth make anyone else just straight up GASSY ASF? I've done drugs before, but it seems since i started meth, maybe the past month and a half regular usage, I have had the most gas of anyone I've ever met! I mean almost constant farting and cluster burps. Does anyone else have this problem? I need a fix asap; My husband is the most understanding man, but I know even he is getting fed up and a little disgusted by me. HELP
https://redd.it/1lqlghs
@r_copypasta
u/Jayantwi98's final goodbye
I'm writing this as a thank you letter, thanks for all the karma I accumulated over the years. About 300k in 2 years to be exact, I will look back at my time here with both joy and glee, from the time we all cursed carti for delaying the album, to the day he scammed Adin for 2 mil, to the time he got a fan jumped for a picture and all the endless memes we've created that went viral on other platforms. My time is coming to an end, and I know yall hate me for personal reasons but I just want to be said I never hated any of yall, i was just having fun.. I kinda use Reddit as an escape from my real life problems and I think yall are pretty cool tbh, the most unique community I've ever been part of. But it's more than clear I'm no longer welcome here so I'll leave. I've been here for a couple years, I've gone through a lotta stages in life I guess it's time for another chapter, I know it's not that serious but thanks for the memories and laughs boys. If you see me on other platforms karma/likes farming, just give me a wink. /s
https://redd.it/1lqkuvu
@r_copypasta
and disobey Him and oppress His servants” and “A good end and eternal paradise belong to those servants who fear His majesty and do not follow their lascivious selves.”
We believe that a return to the teachings of the divine prophets is the only road leading to salvation. I have been told that Your Excellency follows the teachings of Jesus (PBUH) and believes in the divine promise of the rule of the righteous on Earth.
We also believe that Jesus Christ (PBUH) was one of the great prophets of the Almighty. He has been repeatedly praised in the Koran. Jesus (PBUH) has been quoted in Koran as well: \[19.36\] And surely Allah is my Lord and your Lord, therefore serve Him; this is the right path. Marium Service to and obedience of the Almighty is the credo of all divine messengers.
The God of all people in Europe, Asia, Africa, America, the Pacific and the rest of the world is one. He is the Almighty who wants to guide and give dignity to all His servants. He has given greatness to Humans.
We again read in the Holy Book: “The Almighty God sent His prophets with miracles and clear signs to guide the people and show them divine signs and purify them from sins and pollutions. And He sent the Book and the balance so that the people display justice and avoid the rebellious”.
All of the above verses can be seen, one way or the other, in [the Good Book](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible) as well.
Divine prophets have promised: [The day will come](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgement_day) when all humans will congregate before the court of the Almighty, so that their deeds are examined. The good will be directed towards Heaven and evildoers will meet divine retribution. I trust both of us believe in such a day, but it will not be easy to calculate the actions of rulers, because we must be answerable to our nations and all others whose lives have been directly or indirectly affected by our actions.
All prophets, speak of peace and tranquility for man – based on monotheism, justice and respect for human dignity.
Do you not think that if all of us come to believe in and abide by these principles, that is, monotheism, worship of God, justice, respect for the dignity of man, [belief in the Last Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eschatology), we can overcome the present problems of the world – that are the result of disobedience to the Almighty and the teachings of prophets – and improve our performance? Do you not think that belief in these principles promotes and guarantees peace, friendship and justice? Do you not think that the aforementioned written or unwritten principles are universally respected? Will you not accept this invitation? That is, a genuine return to the teachings of prophets, to monotheism and justice, to preserve human dignity and obedience to the Almighty and His prophets?
Mr. President,
History tells us that repressive and cruel governments do not survive. God has entrusted the fate of men to them. The Almighty has not left the universe and humanity to their own devices.
Many things have happened contrary to the wishes and plans of governments. These tell us that there is a higher power at work and all events are determined by Him.
Can one deny the signs of change in the world today? Is the situation of the world today comparable to that of ten years ago? Changes happen fast and come at a furious pace.
The people of the world are not happy with the status quo and pay little heed to the promises and comments made by a number of influential world leaders. Many people around the world feel insecure and oppose the spreading of insecurity and war and do not approve of and accept dubious policies.
The people are protesting [the increasing gap between the haves and the have-nots](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_inequality)[and the rich and poor countries](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_inequality).
The people are disgusted with increasing corruption.
The people of many countries are angry about the attacks on their cultural foundations and the disintegration of families. They are
traumatized by the attacks – some Western media only intensified the climate of fear and insecurity – some constantly talked about the possibility of new terror attacks and kept the people in fear. Is that service to the American people? Is it possible to calculate the damages incurred from fear and panic? American citizens lived in constant fear of fresh attacks that could come at any moment and in any place. They felt insecure in the streets, in their place of work and at home. Who would be happy with this situation? Why was the media, instead of conveying a feeling of security and providing peace of mind, giving rise to a feeling of insecurity? Some believe that the hype paved the way – and was the justification – for an [attack on Afghanistan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_invasion_of_Afghanistan). Again I need to refer to the role of media.
In media charters, correct dissemination of information and honest reporting of a story are established tenets. I express my deep regret about the disregard shown by certain Western media for these principles. The main pretext for an attack on Iraq was the existence of WMDs. This was repeated incessantly – for the public to finally believe – and the ground set for an [attack on Iraq](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_invasion_of_Iraq).
Will the truth not be lost in a contrived and deceptive climate? Again, if the truth is allowed to be lost, how can that be reconciled with the earlier mentioned values? Is the truth known to the Almighty lost as well?
Mr. President,
In countries around the world, citizens provide for the expenses of governments so that their governments in turn are able to serve them.
The question here is “what has the hundreds of billions of dollars, spent every year to pay for the Iraqi campaign, produced for the citizens?” As Your Excellency is aware, in some states of your country, people are living in poverty. Many thousands are homeless and unemployment is a huge problem. Of course these problems exist – to a larger or lesser extent – in other countries as well. With these conditions in mind, can the gargantuan expenses of the campaign – paid from the public treasury – be explained and be consistent with the aforementioned principles? What has been said, are some of the grievances of the people around the world, in our region and in your country. But my main contention – which I am hoping you will agree to some of it – is: Those in power have a specific time in office and do not rule indefinitely, but their names will be recorded in history and will be constantly judged in the immediate and distant futures.
The people will scrutinize our presidencies.
Did we manage to bring peace, security and prosperity for the people or insecurity and unemployment? Did we intend to establish justice or just supported especial interest groups, and by forcing many people to live in poverty and hardship, made a few people rich and powerful – thus trading the approval of the people and the Almighty with theirs’? Did we defend the rights of the underprivileged or ignore them? Did we defend the rights of all people around the world or imposed wars on them, interfered illegally in their affairs, established hellish prisons and incarcerated some of them? Did we bring the world peace and security or raised the specter of intimidation and threats? Did we tell the truth to our nation and others around the world or presented an inverted version of it? Were we on the side of people or the occupiers and oppressors? Did our administrations set out to promote rational behavior, logic, ethics, peace, fulfilling obligations, justice, service to the people, prosperity, progress and respect for human dignity or the force of guns, intimidation, insecurity, disregard for the people, delaying the progress and excellence of other nations, and trample on people’s rights? And finally, they will judge us on whether we remained true to our [oath of office](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oath_of_office) – to serve the people, which is our main task, and the traditions of the
the provisions of any judicial system. For that matter, I fail to understand how such actions correspond to the values outlined in the beginning of this letter, i.e. the teachings of Jesus Christ (PBUH), human rights and liberal values.
Young people, university students, and ordinary people have many questions about the phenomenon of Israel. I am sure you are familiar with some of them.
Throughout history many countries have been occupied, but I think the establishment of a new country with a new people, is a new phenomenon that is exclusive to our times.
Students are saying that sixty years ago such a country did not exist. They show old documents and globes and say try as we have, we have not been able to find a country named Israel.
I tell them to study the history of [WWI](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_I) and [WWII](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II). One of my students told me that during WWII, which more than tens of millions of people perished in, news about the war, was quickly disseminated by the warring parties. Each touted their victories and the most recent battlefront defeat of the other party. After the war they claimed that [six million Jews had been killed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Holocaust). Six million people that were surely related to at least two million families.
Again let us assume that these events are true. Does that logically translate into the establishment of the state of Israel in the Middle East or support for such a state? How can this phenomenon be rationalized or explained?
Mr. President,
I am sure you know how – and at what cost – [Israel was established](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Israel#War_of_Independence_and_migration):
* Many thousands were killed in the process.
* Millions of indigenous people were made refugees.
* Hundreds of thousands of hectares of farmland, olive plantations, towns and villages were destroyed.
This tragedy is not exclusive to the time of establishment; unfortunately it has been ongoing for sixty years now.
A regime has been established which does not show mercy even to kids, destroys houses while the occupants are still in them, announces beforehand its list and plans to assassinate Palestinian figures, and keeps thousands of Palestinians in prison. Such a phenomenon is unique – or at the very least extremely rare – in recent memory.
Another big question asked by the people is “why is this regime being supported?” Is support for this regime in line with the teachings of Jesus Christ (PBUH) or [Moses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses) (PBUH) or liberal values? Or are we to understand that allowing the original inhabitants of these lands – inside and outside Palestine – whether they are Christian, Moslem or Jew, to determine their fate, runs contrary to principles of democracy, human rights and the teachings of prophets? If not, why is there so much opposition to a referendum? The [newly elected](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palestinian_legislative_election,_2006) [Palestinian administration](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palestinian_National_Authority)recently took office. All independent observers have confirmed that this government represents the electorate. Unbelievingly, they have put the elected government under pressure and have advised it to recognize the Israeli regime, abandon the struggle and follow the programs of the previous government.
If the current Palestinian government had run on the above platform, would the Palestinian people have voted for it? Again, can such position taken in opposition to the Palestinian government be reconciled with the values outlined earlier? The people are also asking “Why are all [UNSC](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations_Security_Council) resolutions in condemnation of Israel vetoed?”
Mr. President, As you are well aware, I live amongst the people and am in constant contact with them – many people from around the Middle East manage to contact me as well. They do not have faith in these dubious policies either. There is evidence that the people of the
Ahmadinejad’s 2006 letter to bush
In the Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful
Mr. George Bush,
President of the United States of America,
For sometime now I have been thinking, how one can justify the undeniable contradictions that exist in the international arena – which are being constantly debated, especially in political forums and amongst university students. Many questions remain unanswered. These have prompted me to discuss some of the contradictions and questions, in the hope that it might bring about an opportunity to redress them.
Can one be a follower of Jesus Christ (PBUH), the great Messenger of God, feel obliged to respect human rights, present liberalism as a civilization model, announce one’s opposition to the proliferation of nuclear weapons and WMDs, make “War on Terror” his slogan, and finally, work towards the establishment of a unified international community – a community which Christ and the virtuous of the Earth will one day govern, but at the same time, have countries attacked. The lives, reputations and possessions of people destroyed and on the slight chance of the presence of a few criminals in a village, city, or convoy for example, the entire village, city or convoy set ablaze.
Or because of the possibility of the existence of WMDs in one country, it is occupied, around one hundred thousand people killed, its water sources, agriculture and industry destroyed, close to 180,000 foreign troops put on the ground, sanctity of private homes of citizens broken, and the country pushed back perhaps fifty years. At what price? Hundreds of billions of dollars spent from the treasury of one country and certain other countries and tens of thousands of young men and women – as occupation troops – put in harms way, taken away from family and loved ones, their hands stained with the blood of others, subjected to so much psychological pressure that everyday some commit suicide and those returning home suffer depression, become sickly and grapple with all sorts of ailments; while some are killed and their bodies handed to their families.
On the pretext of the existence of WMDs, this great tragedy came to engulf both the peoples of the occupied and the occupying country. Later it was revealed that no WMDs existed to begin with.
Of course Saddam was a murderous dictator. But the war was not waged to topple him, the announced goal of the war was to find and destroy weapons of mass destruction. He was toppled along the way towards another goal; nevertheless the people of the region are happy about it. I point out that throughout the many years of the imposed war on Iran, Saddam was supported by the West.
Mr. President,
You might know that I am a teacher. My students ask me how can these actions be reconciled with the values outlined at the beginning of this letter and duty to the tradition of Jesus Christ (PBUH), the Messenger of peace and forgiveness? There are prisoners in Guantanamo Bay that have not been tried, have no legal representation, their families cannot see them and are obviously kept in a strange land outside their own country. There is no international monitoring of their conditions and fate. No one knows whether they are prisoners, POWs, accused or criminals.
European investigators have confirmed the existence of secret prisons in Europe too. I could not correlate the abduction of a person, and him or her being kept in secret prisons, with
thank sir
I am 65 years old,from india maharashtra, Thane,just now i join swimming pool, as Dr advise, sir u r technics super, Namaskar and thank sir
https://redd.it/1lqemu0
@r_copypasta
Sound design 😞😄
me walking into the Jane Remover blaccent cafe: "can I get uhh an extra performative matcha with extra cold foam please" 🙏😥2hollis: hands me my drink order as well as a free labubu bc he fw me heavily- nettspend: "I'm sippindrankdrankdrrank" lil osamason: "why they keep leakin me twin 💔 💔" random horse: whinnies me: "easy boy"
https://redd.it/1lqd47c
@r_copypasta
friend at a minor league baseball game! What a liar! He's a scum sucker. He's filth. Mike is now considering returning the mechanical bull and suing Rich Evans himself on behalf of the bar that over-served that lightweight! Ultimately this tale is about windows. Windows, both literal and figurative. I saw who Rich really was by peering into his window. Rich flew threw a window after being tossed by a mechanical bull, which changed his life. And Jay? Well, Jay needs to throw himself out of a window because he enjoys the Final Destination movies.
https://redd.it/1lqc89f
@r_copypasta
My older sister wants me to be a femboy
I (16M) have a serious issue. Every single one of my white clothes is being turned pink by my sister (27F) when she puts it to the washing. She does it intentionally. I don't know what to do. My life is in shambles. Is this a divine sign for me to take dildos up my ass? She's laughing as we speak about it while I am *traumatized*, please help.
https://redd.it/1lqaoeb
@r_copypasta
HungryBox's recent Melee fox crashout, transcribed.
What a fucking vibe kill dude It's to a chuckle fucks RANDY FUCKING FOX PIECE OF SHIT Randy fucking Fox. All you do is the same bullshit because you have everything. Your character has everything and they cater to you. They change the rules for you to make you win more often. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's keep stadium transformations on. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's give him fucking Z jump. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's give him box controllers. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's GIVE HIM FUCKING EVERYTHING HE NEEDS! And he is the cool character, of course. Fucking cunt, bitch, fucking dumbass, top tier, FUCK! privileged fucking character, and your mains complain, somehow, they complain! About what? Puff? God forbid! About what? ICs? Oh! Just seperate them you dumb cunt! That's all you fucking need! You have a one-frame option off of Drill You have lasers! You have 19 recoveries! You don't have to do anything! Except win!
https://redd.it/1lq3con
@r_copypasta
NO MoAr NSFW coPyPasTas!!!1!
EvRey Tiam I go On r/COpypAsta I HopE to EAD some FunNy CoaPYPAstaTS And EvRy TIeM I gO theRE the SheEr MAount of NSFww cOPaypatsAs therE ISb InasANE! EvrEything therE is ABouT GoONugn, BAolls, And ObtheR groSs tsuff! As A ESX REPUElsED PersoNe Me Not Liek DE NSFW CopyPastaAs That Are ALL OVEr THISW SUBBB!!! Be CziviL and No Moer GRoS NFSw COPeyPatsats! 1!!!
https://redd.it/1lpw95b
@r_copypasta
parents caught me gooning to femboys what should I do?
parents caught me gooning to femboys what should I do?
so this happened last night and i’m still spiraling so bear with me
basically, I'm 15, my family was going to the local fair thing that happens like once a year, they asked if i wanted to come but i said no cuz i had “homework” (i did NOT have homework bro i just wanted to stay home and do what needed to be done if u know what i mean 😭)
so they leave, house is empty, i get comfy. lights off. headphones on. tabs open. i had my lil playlist goin and everything was set. it was some realll specific femboy stuff too like not just regular videos i was 12 pages deep in twitter threads w/ captions like “don’t scroll if you have school tmrw 😵💫💦”
anyways i was DEEP into it like deep in the trenches brain fully goo. i think i had been at it for like an hour? maybe more? no clue. time stopped existing. i was whispering sht under my breath too like “yes please” and “good boy” (IK I KNOW DONT EVEN SAY IT BRO I’M AWARE 😭)
and i had like some moan audios playing in the back too synced up with my dldo . literally the most feral session i’ve ever had
BUT APPARENTLY
my parents came back early. i don’t even know why. i still haven’t asked. but i had my noise canceling headphones on so i didn’t hear the door. didn’t hear them walk in. didn’t hear my dad coming up the stairs.
i only noticed when the door OPENED
and i swear on my life it was like time froze
i yanked my blanket over myself and alt+tabbed SO fast i almost sprained my wrist. but i still had one airpod in and the moans were still playing 😭
my screen had like 12 tabs open. you could SEE one of them was just a full-on femboy cosplay thread with a vid that was 100% still moving in the corner. and my dad just stood there. stared at the screen. then at me. then just backed out slowly like he walked in on a crime scene
i heard my mom downstairs go “was he watching… a boy?” and then silence. complete silence. the kind of silence that makes you reevaluate your entire bloodline
i didn’t leave my room for the rest of the night. i just laid there face down. couldn’t even finish. mood was GONE. soul was GONE
this morning my mom asked if i “needed to talk” and i just said “nope.” my dad still hasn’t said anything. not even a cough. like bro didn’t even tell the dog good morning
i don’t know what they saw. i don’t know if they think i’m gay or possessed or both. all i know is i need to fake my death and move to another country
Edit: pls don’t ask for links y’all are sick 💀
https://redd.it/1lpscha
@r_copypasta
I replace nasal spray with live bottles of Naegleria fowleri
Body Text
https://redd.it/1lqsu4r
@r_copypasta
Sure! NOW PLAYING: BUTCHER VANITY - Vane Lily
Sure! NOW PLAYING: BUTCHER VANITY - Vane Lily: They say my hunger's a problem
They tell me to curb my appetite
They say I can't keep myself from trying
A bite of every plate in sightThey worship patience, a virtue
Oh, they tell me gluttony's a sin
But my desire, it's bottomless
I wanna slit your throat and eat 'til I get sickThe slaughter's on
I'd love to see you come undone
Unsatisfied, until I've got you flayed alive
So grab a plate, have a taste
這口味讓我陶醉
I'm still preying on a butcher's veinTo truss you up in pretty patterns
Oh, to dress your flesh up with the works
Perfectly portioned by a dagger
Serving the finest leftover dessertWhy would I desecrate a carcass?
Oh, why let the offal go to waste?
It's love that guides my cleaver with such tenderness
A perfect strike to fix the horror on your faceThe slaughter's mine
Oh, blood and viscera divine
Preserved and primed
Each muscle divvied up to dine
And in the high 我存在
Tasting 血淋淋的愛
I'll devour all of you in timeOh, your heart
Aortic work of art
My love, my knife
To carve it out, your life
So grab a plate, have a taste
這口味讓我陶醉
I'm still preying on a butcher's veinTo snap the sinew, I want
To get within you, I want
To not forgive you
Rigor mortis, mold and mildewBut dear, you should be grateful
That I won't waste a good meal
That all my love's precision
Carves a cut to simply die forTo snap the sinew, I want
To get within you, I want
To scar the tissue
Butterfly and rectify youI need to be your afterlife
Eucharist, I deify
God, oh, fuck the fork and knife
I'll rip in hands and teeth and take a bite!The slaughter's on
I'd love to see you come undone
Unsatisfied, until I've got you flayed alive
So grab a plate, have a taste
這口味讓我陶醉
I'm still preying on a butcher's veinAnd now the slaughter's mine
My darling, get under the knife
Your broken pride
A cut so perfect in its prime
All that I see, 63
為讓我心醉的你
I'll be waiting, so impatientlyOh, your heart
Aortic work of art
My love, my knife
To carve it out, your life
So grab a plate, have a taste
這口味讓我陶醉
I'm still preying on a butcher's veinStill praying, hopeless and in vain
https://redd.it/1lqktyy
@r_copypasta
squid game season 3 spoilers
456 dies the baby wins 128 stabs 129 007 gets killed by 240 who then kills herself 065 fights the guards and escapes 301 hallucinates and falls 172 tries to sacrifice 173 gi hun drops the knife fights 172 on the tower 172 falls gi hun dies to save the baby the island explodes 132 and 451 escape front man gives the money and the baby to 132 six months later 451 reunites with her daughter 218s brother meets his mom front man meets 999 in la who might be the recruiter for the us version
https://redd.it/1lqj5pw
@r_copypasta
equally dismayed with the fading of care and compassion. The people of the world have no faith in international organizations, because their rights are not advocated by these organizations.
Liberalism and Western style democracy have not been able to help realize the ideals of humanity. Today these two concepts have failed. Those with insight can already hear the sounds of the shattering and fall of the ideology and thoughts of the Liberal democratic systems.
We increasingly see that people around the world are flocking towards a main focal point - that is the Almighty God. Undoubtedly through faith in God and the teachings of the prophets, the people will conquer their problems. My question for you is: “Do you not want to join them?”
Mr. President,
Whether we like it or not, the world is gravitating towards faith in the Almighty and justice and the will of God will prevail over all things.
And Peace be upon those who follow the *Hudah* (Guidance of Islam).
Mahmood Ahmadi-Nejad
President of the Islamic Republic of Iran
https://redd.it/1lqhkli
@r_copypasta
prophets – or not?
Mr. President,
How much longer can the world tolerate this situation? Where will this trend lead the world? How long must the people of the world pay for the incorrect decisions of some rulers? How much longer will the specter of insecurity – raised from the stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction – hunt the people of the world? How much longer will the blood of the innocent men, women and children be spilled on the streets, and people’s houses destroyed over their heads? Are you pleased with the current condition of the world? Do you think present policies can continue? If billions of dollars spent on security, military campaigns and troop movement were instead spent on investment and assistance for poor countries, promotion of health, combating different diseases, education and improvement of mental and physical fitness, assistance to the victims of natural disasters, creation of employment opportunities and production, development projects and poverty alleviation, establishment of peace, mediation between disputing states, and extinguishing the flames of racial, ethnic and other conflicts, where would the world be today? Would not your government and people be justifiably proud? Would not your administration’s political and economic standing have been stronger? And I am most sorry to say, would there have been an ever increasing global hatred of the American government?
Mr. President,
It is not my intention to distress anyone.
If Prophet [Abraham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham), [Isaac](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaac), [Jacob](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacob), [Ishmael](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishmael), [Joseph](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_(Hebrew_Bible)), or [Jesus Christ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ) (PBUH) were with us today, how would they have judged such behavior? Will we be given a role to play in the promised world, where justice will become universal and Jesus Christ (PBUH) will be present? Will they even accept us? My basic question is this: Is there no better way to interact with the rest of the world? Today there are hundreds of millions of Christians, hundreds of millions of Muslims and millions of people who follow the teachings of Moses (PBUH). All divine religions share and respect one word and that is “[monotheism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monotheism)” or belief in a single God and no other in the world.
The Holy Koran stresses this common word and calls on all followers of divine religions and says: [\[3.64\]](https://en.wikisource.org/w/index.php?title=The_Holy_Qur%27an/Al-i-Imran&action=edit&redlink=1) Say: O followers of the Book! Come to an equitable proposition between us and you that we shall not serve any but Allah and (that) we shall not associate aught with Him, and (that) some of us shall not take others for lords besides Allah; but if they turn back, then say: Bear witness that we are Muslims. (The Family of Imran)
Mr. President,
According to divine verses, we have all been called upon to worship one God and follow the teachings of divine Prophets.
“To worship a God which is above all powers in the world and can do all He pleases.” “The Lord which knows that which is hidden and visible, the past and the future, knows what goes on in the Hearts of His servants and records their deeds.” “The Lord who is the possessor of the heavens and the earth and all universe is His court” “planning for the universe is done by His hands, and gives His servants the glad tidings of mercy and forgiveness of sins” “He is the companion of the oppressed and the enemy of oppressors” “He is the Compassionate, the Merciful” “He is the recourse of the faithful and guides them towards the light from darkness” “He is witness to the actions of His servants” “He calls on servants to be faithful and do good deeds, and asks them to stay on the path of righteousness and remain steadfast” “Calls on servants to heed His prophets and He is a witness to their deeds” “A bad ending belongs only to those who have chosen the life of this world
region are becoming increasingly angry with such policies.
It is not my intention to pose too many questions, but I need to refer to other points as well.
Why is it that any technological and scientific achievement reached in the Middle East region is translated into and portrayed as a threat to the [Zionist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zionism) regime? Is not scientific R&D one of the basic rights of nations? You are familiar with history. Aside from the Middle Ages, in what other point in history has scientific and technical progress been a crime? Can the possibility of scientific achievements being utilized for military purposes be reason enough to oppose science and technology altogether? If such a supposition is true, then all scientific disciplines, including physics, chemistry, mathematics, medicine, engineering, etc. must be opposed.
Lies were told in the Iraqi matter. What was the result? I have no doubt that telling lies is reprehensible in any culture, and you do not like to be lied to.
Mr. President,
Don’t Latin Americans have the right to ask why their elected governments are being opposed and coup leaders supported? Or, Why must they constantly be threatened and live in fear? The people of Africa are hardworking, creative and talented. They can play an important and valuable role in providing for the needs of humanity and contribute to its material and spiritual progress. Poverty and hardship in large parts of Africa are preventing this from happening. Don’t they have the right to ask why their enormous wealth – including minerals – is being looted, despite the fact that they need it more than others? Again, do such actions correspond to the teachings of Christ and the tenets of human rights? The brave and faithful people of Iran too have many questions and grievances, including: [the coup d’etat of 1953](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Ajax)and the subsequent toppling of the legal government of the day, opposition to the Islamic revolution, transformation of an Embassy into a headquarters supporting the activities of those opposing the Islamic Republic (many thousands of pages of documents corroborate this claim), support for Saddam in [the war waged against Iran](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran-Iraq_War), [the shooting down of the Iranian passenger plane](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran_Air_Flight_655), [freezing the assets of the Iranian nation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran_Hostage_Crisis), increasing threats, anger and displeasure vis-à-vis [the scientific and nuclear progress of the Iranian nation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_program_of_Iran) (just when all Iranians are jubilant and celebrating their country’s progress), and many other grievances that I will not refer to in this letter.
Mr. President,
[September Eleven](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9/11) was a horrendous incident. The killing of innocents is deplorable and appalling in any part of the world. Our government immediately declared its disgust with the perpetrators and offered its condolences to the bereaved and expressed its sympathies.
All governments have a duty to protect the lives, property and good standing of their citizens. Reportedly your government employs extensive security, protection and intelligence systems – and even hunts its opponents abroad. September eleven was not a simple operation. Could it be planned and executed without coordination with intelligence and security services – or their extensive infiltration? Of course this is just an educated guess. Why have the various aspects of the attacks been kept secret? Why are we not told who botched their responsibilities? And, why aren’t those responsible and the guilty parties identified and put on trial? All governments have a duty to provide security and peace of mind for their citizens. For some years now, the people of your country and neighbors of world trouble spots do not have peace of mind. After 9.11, instead of healing and tending to the emotional wounds of the survivors and the American people – who had been immensely
Ahmadinejad’s 2006 letter to bush
[In the Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basmala)
Mr. [George Bush](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_W._Bush),
President of the United States of America,
For sometime now I have been thinking, how one can justify the undeniable contradictions that exist in the international arena – which are being constantly debated, especially in political forums and amongst university students. Many questions remain unanswered. These have prompted me to discuss some of the contradictions and questions, in the hope that it might bring about an opportunity to redress them.
Can one be a follower of [Jesus Christ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ) ([PBUH](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PBUH)), the great Messenger of God, feel obliged to respect human rights, present [liberalism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberalism) as a civilization model, announce one’s opposition to the [proliferation of nuclear weapons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_proliferation) and [WMDs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weapons_of_mass_destruction), make “[War on Terror](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_on_Terrorism)” his slogan, and finally, work towards the establishment of a [unified international community](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations) – a community which Christ and the virtuous of the Earth will one day govern, but at the same time, have countries attacked. The lives, reputations and possessions of people destroyed and on the slight chance of the presence of a few criminals in a village, city, or convoy for example, the entire village, city or convoy set ablaze.
Or because of [the possibility of the existence of WMDs in one country](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iraq_and_weapons_of_mass_destruction), it is occupied, around one hundred thousand people killed, its water sources, agriculture and industry destroyed, close to 180,000 foreign troops put on the ground, sanctity of private homes of citizens broken, and the country pushed back perhaps fifty years. At what price? Hundreds of billions of dollars spent from the treasury of one country and certain other countries and tens of thousands of young men and women – as occupation troops – put in harms way, taken away from family and loved ones, their hands stained with the blood of others, subjected to so much psychological pressure that everyday some commit suicide and those returning home suffer depression, become sickly and grapple with all sorts of ailments; while some are killed and their bodies handed to their families.
On the pretext of the existence of WMDs, this great tragedy came to engulf both the peoples of the occupied and the occupying country. Later it was revealed that no WMDs existed to begin with.
Of course [Saddam](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saddam_Hussein) was a murderous dictator. But the war was not waged to topple him, the announced goal of the war was to find and destroy weapons of mass destruction. He was toppled along the way towards another goal; nevertheless the people of the region are happy about it. I point out that throughout the many years of [the imposed war on Iran](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran-Iraq_War), Saddam was supported by the West.
Mr. President,
You might know that I am a teacher. My students ask me how can these actions be reconciled with the values outlined at the beginning of this letter and duty to the tradition of Jesus Christ (PBUH), the Messenger of peace and forgiveness? There are prisoners in [Guantanamo Bay](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guantanamo_Bay) that have not been tried, have no legal representation, their families cannot see them and are obviously kept in a strange land outside their own country. There is no international monitoring of their conditions and fate. No one knows whether they are prisoners, POWs, accused or criminals.
European investigators have confirmed the existence of secret prisons in Europe too. I could not correlate the abduction of a person, and him or her being kept in secret prisons, with
Does anyone else watch videos at a faster speed?
I do this between 200% and 300% I wish YouTube allowed me to watch at more than 2x speed and if Netflix let me go above 1.5x I would.. I know this is bad but holy shit the human experience is boring af, I wish I could reconnect with nature and just slow down for a minute but I can't, I drink caffeine in any form I can get it and I have a secondary phone in case my phone is uncharged and I need to take a shit, so I'm never bored on the toilet.
I wish we could speak in a more time efficient language because the transfer of information between brains is mind numbingly slow.
Only time I might play something at anything less than the fastest possible speed is if I'm multitasking, ie, watching Netflix at 1x on my computer 2nd screen, playing a game on my main monitor and watching a YouTube video at 1x on my phone, yes, I will watch YouTube and Netflix at the same time, I have even tried watching 3 things at once it's just a bit too much to take in at the moment, maybe one day if my brain gets any faster.
I also will sometimes test myself, watch YouTube videos while programming and see how bad my code is, or watch 2 things at once and see how much I remember/miss from each.
One of my therapists applied to a nearby university to get my brain scanned because my ADHD was so extreme but never heard back.
Edit: YouTube was probably a gateway drug, the jumpcuts and over exuberant fast talking style and introduction of 2x speed helped me out but at that stage I was already at 2x speed on VLC with my legally sourced Game of Thrones downloads. And yes, I slowed it down for emotional parts.
The other thing I won't speed up is good comedy, like Airplane, the timing is too important to screw with, its still funny at 2x but it loses a lot.
https://redd.it/1lqgnu0
@r_copypasta
Libertarian Police - Ever year it gets closer :’(
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
https://redd.it/1lqen9u
@r_copypasta
The French Fry Fryer Fries Fries
The french fry fryer, which fries french fries by the process of frying, initiates the fry cycle when the pre-fried, unfried fries—also known as not-yet-fried fries—are conveyed via the fry conveyance conveyer belt into the fryer’s internal frying chamber. This chamber, designated specifically for the act of frying, initiates frying protocols on the fries, thereby transforming them from their pre-fried state (i.e., the state of not being fried) into their post-fried state (i.e., the state of having been subjected to frying).
Once the fries have transitioned from their prior state of non-friedness to their current and future state of friedness, the very same conveyer belt that conveyed them into the fryer, having not ceased to be a conveyer belt, continues its function by de-conveying—or rather, re-conveying—the now-fried fries from within the fryer to outside the fryer, thus removing the fries from the internal fryer environment in which they were fried.
It follows, therefore, that fries which were not in the fryer but are now in the fryer are in the process of being fried, whereas fries that were once in the fryer but are no longer in the fryer have already been fried and are thus in a state of post-fryer fry-ness. The fries that remain unfried are simply in a queue of unfriedness, awaiting their transformation by the fryer which fries fries.
Moreover, should the fryer cease to fry, the fries would remain unfried, unless previously fried, in which case they are now reposed in a condition of completed fryhood. However, re-frying the already fried fries risks double-fry syndrome, wherein the fries transition from standard fried to extra-fried, also known as burnt.
In conclusion, the cyclical conveyance of fries through the fryer, by the fryer, and for the fryer, ensures the continuous existence of fries in various states of fry: pre-fried, mid-fry, fried, and in rare cases, re-fried. All thanks to the fryer, which, as established, fries fries.
https://redd.it/1lqdxfo
@r_copypasta
Tell me about it, sailor!
Tell me about it, sailor! Hi, I’m Krebs Gorlon and I’m currently on sabbatical from my career as a window to window vacuum cleaner salesman so I’m writing you this intro. Yes, you heard me right. I sell vacuum cleaners via windows. I knock. I peek. Sometimes I break the glass. People stopped answering their doors for salesmen years ago, so I decided to take a new approach. Windows! Sure, they scream. They point firearms at me. They say they are going to call the police. And things get really weird when I try to climb into their windows, especially the bathroom windows. But do they buy a vacuum? They sure don’t! That’s why I’m on sabbatical. I mean that’s why I was fired. Mike and Jay pay me 12 cents a word to write intros to their videos (hence the length). So in this video Mike and Jay are back in the VCR repair shop to have another wacky adventure and to recap just a few films they saw recently. They really wanted to focus on a large piece of ass movie called “The Other” a movie filled with tropes and bad acting and a weird, stupid plot that will leave you scratching the hole in your head. The other movies are all pretty good and worth a watch. Are they the best movies ever made?!?! Nope. So calm down you angry keyboard-typers. It’s just a few light recommendations. Enjoy watching these old clowns try to speak is really the fun part of these videos. Mike looks so old and haggard it's like he's sliding his fat ass right into his grave. Jay's brain is rotting from the outside in. You can see it in his dead eyes and forced laughter. He's a dumb ass head. One might also suggest he's lost his edge. You see, Jay used to be "straight edge" meaning he never drank bleach or snorted powdered milk lips. Then he started smoking crack and doing bong loads or crypto currency shots off bartenders backsides and cracksides and BOOM! He was on a roll. He tried to get Rich Evans to start abusing substances too. First he started at McDonald's. Boy, was THAT a mess! And yes I'm talking about the bathroom floor. Then he took Rich to a whisky bar. One shot later Rich was riding a mechanical bull. True story! Rich flew off the mechanical bull and right out the window and into another bar. Landed right on the stool. He said, "Lou. Get me a milk. Chocolate." and from that day on Rich Evans never touched the stuff. Booze not milk whips or crypto shots. Mike (The ugly fat old dumb one) drinks soooo much booze every day of the year that when he went to his doctor his doctor told him that he shouldn't stop drinking. "why?" Mike asked. The doctor replied, "Because it'll kill you" - true story. You see if Mike went cold turkey with the booze, his heart and liver would explode or combust. The doctor told him to ease into being off booze. Try one less bottle of Jack Daniels each morning until he was down to 15 bottles a day. Then they could talk. After the doctor's appointment Mike rode that mechanical bull home while throwing back some cans of Schlitz. He converted the mechanical bull into a short-range car. He was able to obtain the beast because of a deal he made with the tavern owner. "You give me the mechanical bull, Rich Evans won't sue." he said. So every so often you might see Mike on the expressway riding his bull. You'll have to change lanes because the goddamn thing only goes 8 miles an hour, but hey it's a living! Speaking of a living, back to my job as a window to window vacuum cleaner salesman. About a year ago I peeked into Rich's window to try to make a sale. I hear that man is so dirty he just might benefit from the newest Dyson XJ21000 model. It's the same vacuum they used to clean up Chernobyl. I was about to knock on his window when I spied him pooping into his own hands and wiping his own fecal matter onto his own walls. He was dressed as a Nun as well. Now this wasn't the weird part. The weird part was he now had a shelf of Warhammer figures and a photo of himself as a toddler in a Wendy's ad framed on the wall. What a liar! He told that whole story but it was really about him. He could never make a real
I saw a trend called “Copy Pasta”
I saw a trend called “Copy Pasta”.
I tried to copy pasta. So I filled up my bathtub with boiling water. And the idea was to throw myself in and move around and be ready for someone to eat and enjoy.
Long story short I have severe burns and I’m in an intensive care unit recovering. Do not COPY pasta. Although I’m not gonna lie. The whole thing did get me feeling saucy.
https://redd.it/1lq72z2
@r_copypasta
Caleb 30. 61 miles away
Let me guess… you’re 25 with 3 kids, and you’ve done had your fun, now you don’t want that, you want a real man to settle down with and take care of you and your kids bc you let a loser nut inside of you. 🙄 k
I’m 6’ even. Have my own house. 2 vehicles.
And I make over $75k a year. What do you bring to the table? If the answer is “someone else’s kids” then go kick rocks. No man will ever want you.
Stop saying your “thicc”….your obese
Also, your not a “dog mom”, your a pet OWNER
https://redd.it/1lq0wei
@r_copypasta
My friend hates reddit
Ok guys, I have to post a yap here so I vent my feustration... REDDIT SUCKS ASS!!!
I have a fcking issue with chat window being stuck in the middle of the screen after typing something, so I go on r/askreddit for help:
They don't allow fking pictures
-they don't allow questions "Anybody else".... So I'm pissed
I go to r/mildlyinfuriating, and when I want to vent there, those mfs don't allow posts about Reddit!
So I say fck off!
I thought FB sucks but this opression is something else....
https://redd.it/1lptyaz
@r_copypasta
WHAT IS LOVE?
WHAT IS LOVE?
Fruit (no.)
Bread (no.)
Fruit and bread (probably not.)
IS IT A CONVERSATION?
conversation
jim: hi
pat (or bob): hi
jim: hi
pat (or bob): hi
jim: do you like mice
pat (or bob): no
jim: bye
pat (or bob): no
NOT LOVE ❌
IS IT A FRUITFUL SALES DEAL?
YES! NO!
Actually
no maybe
IS IT A HEARTY BREAKFAST?
pablao: mmm, my favorite brand! (rectangles!®)
IS IT A FOUR-LETTER WORD THAT YOU CAN USE IN VARIOUS WAYS THAT ARE MOSTLY POSITIVE?
HELL YEAH.
https://redd.it/1lpnlkz
@r_copypasta