Discussion Is there any way to fix your life in your 30s?
My options right now seem very grim. I'm currently unemployed but finishing a possible bachelor's in Human Resources. I'm not sure if I like it that much. I use a lot of chat gpt for some stuff even though im attempting to do things more on my own but I just feel lost.
I currently have no friends and feel like I'm not an easy person to get along with... I don't really know what to do anymore. I want to discover who I am and what I want out of life but can't seem to know where to start...
https://redd.it/1g53rj5
@r_getmotivated
Discussion What sets your soul on fire??🔥
Genuinely curious, I’m asking people of all ages/genders/races. Outside of the every day responsibilities, 9-5’s and 40+ hour work weeks, what are you guys passionate about? What motivates you, makes you fulfilled, and gives you something to look forward to in life?
https://redd.it/1g4z76x
@r_getmotivated
Struggling to stay motivated to go to gym Discussion
20F, I go to the gym 5 days a week (well closer to 4, sometimes 3, i have started skipping a bit). I saw improvements when I first started but I don't really improve much anymore. I just do it out of habit. I want to enjoy it again and see improvements. It is starting to feel like a waste of time, and it is like I'm only still going out of fear of losing my progress. I have been going for more than a year, I could keep forcing myself to go but I don't think that alone will fix my problem and I don't really want to hate myself everytime I go.
I have tried changing up my routines a bit and that sort of works a bit but progress doesn't last long, l'Il figure out how to do the new exercise and then stay on the same weights forever.
I have recently increased the amount of food I eat and increased protein. to be honest, l'm pretty underweight. I'd like to gain muscle weight but not fat. I'm planning on eating more in general including enough protein for muscle building and gaining a few kgs. I have felt fine past few days but I have felt a bit physically weak while at work (physical job) which is why I am trying to gain bit of weight. I'm 5'2 and 39.8 kgs.
Should I completely change my routine? Would it be better to work out less for more rest?
I start to feel bad about myself when I struggle working out, I think I'm wasting my time. then when I skip a day I feel like I'm 'undisciplined' and 'lazy'. I don't really win either way. I'd like to make some progress and enjoy it again.
Sorry if this is worded badly it's really late at night and I'm tired, please ask questions if needed. I prob left out some details but too tired to think
https://redd.it/1g4wf8k
@r_getmotivated
[Image] Take the step! Take action even if you are unsure how it will go, just go for it!
https://redd.it/1g4te1s
@r_getmotivated
Tool ADHD Motivation Tip: Reward Yourself for Small Wins 🎉
When managing ADHD, staying motivated can be a challenge. Try setting up small rewards for completing tasks, no matter how simple. Whether it’s a quick break, a favorite snack, or some screen time, rewarding yourself after each win helps keep motivation going. Pair this with a focus on small tasks, and watch your productivity improve!
https://redd.it/1g04ouk
@r_getmotivated
and I really, really need to. I've needed to for years and years and years. I'm sure most would agree that I've got to start living my own life somehow, instead of drowning in the proverbial quicksand of this excruciating isolation on a nightly basis.
Welp, hopefully something will finally shift into place at some point, and I won't have to keep waking up each day intensely hating every moment of my existence, as I continue to remain completely bankrupt of the faintest residue of self-acceptance and self-esteem.
https://redd.it/1fzwmw8
@r_getmotivated
my brother stayed in bed, but i just assumed he was sick. At arrival my music teacher ran to me and gave me a hug (we had a very strong connection) I asked what was going on? and with fear in her eyes she looked at me and said “you don’t know?” i said “no what is going on” and She replied “my brothers best friend hung himself the previous night”.
i collapsed. and started to spiral in a hole of darkness. i never got help because i thought that it wouldn’t make sense that i had to go to therapy, he wasn’t even my best friend he was my brothers
past trauma started to come up and everything was going wrong, i couldn’t do it anymore, and the word “I never even knew he was depressed” kept circling around and around in my head,( there is a lot more that went wrong after this, but i don’t want to bore you guys)
i planned the day that i would go. and over a course of 8 months i had a day that everything would end. I started to create fights with my friends in hopes that they would hate me so my death doesn’t affect them as much. i isolated my self from everyone in hopes that they would forget about me
and then the day came the day my life was supposed to end. but by some miracle i can only describe as God’s grace, something went wrong and i got caught.
i got immediately rushed to the mental hospital. when sat in there i hated every second of the hospital stay, i was being held alive against my will.
then after a month in the mental hospital, something clicked in my head. i decided that i would not give up. i hated every second of my existence, but for some strange reasons i decided that i would do my best to get better and comply to everything my therapist, psychiatrist and psychologist told me
i got diagnosed with a mix of depression and bipolar disorders, schizophrenia and finally my dyslexia that i knew i had :)
and so my journey started, i quickly realised that you are only as strong as you believe your mind is, if you believe you have the ability to withstand the uncomfortable feelings you feel, you will be able to do it
i believed that i was stronger than any form of depression and mental illness, and as i started to exercise, focus on what makes me happy (Its music btw ;) ) and use coping mechanisms ( which is also music ;) )
i started to get better, and i am not saying it was easy, no i wanted to give up at least 50 times every day but i didn’t
i started to reconnect with friends and, i started a new relationship ( we are almost at a year and 6 months together now😌) every thing was starting to change back to the colourful and happy life i knew when i was a kid
if you read this whole thing to the end i want you to know, whatever you want to do, you can. even if you don’t see any way out you will find a way to break out. if you believe in God, know that he won’t give you something he knows you can’t handle. and if you don’t believe, prove the world wrong. i was dealt every single bad card and i flipped the game and said “fuck it lets play uno”
i hope you enjoyed my story, and i hope to inspire just one person to hold on just a little longer, much love everyone🫶🏻
https://redd.it/1fzx83z
@r_getmotivated
focus, think clearly, and my creativity soared.
* **Physical Appearance**: I lost weight, my skin cleared up, and I no longer looked like an extra from "The Walking Dead."
* **Emotional Well-being**: The anxiety and depression started to fade. I found joy in the little things.
* **Lung Function**: Quitting smoking improved my breathing. Activities became easier, and I wasn't coughing like a 90-year-old lifelong smoker anymore.
* **Taste and Smell**: Food tasted amazing! It's like my senses were upgraded to HD.
* **Relationships**: I reconnected with family and friends. And guess what? I even met an amazing woman who I'm proud to call my girlfriend after 6 years of being single and convinced that I would never love again. None of this would have been possible if I hadn't made these changes.
**Oh, and College!**
Did I mention I'm in college now? Yep, since **September 6, 2023**, I've been hitting the books, and I'm currently rocking a **3.93 GPA** in my second year as a Computer Science major. Not too shabby for someone who once couldn't remember what day it was!
**Why Didn't I Do This Earlier?**
Great question. Looking back, I think fear played a big role, fear of change, fear of failure, and even fear of who I could become without my crutches. It was easier to stay stuck in a familiar misery than to venture into the unknown.
But here's the kicker: once I pushed through the initial discomfort, everything started to shift. Healthy food began to taste good. Exercise became fun. Meditation turned into a daily retreat I can't live without. It's like my body and mind were just waiting for me to give them a chance.
**Final Thoughts**
If you're reading this and feel trapped in your current situation, I want you to know that change is possible, at any age, at any stage. I was a 37-year-old, homeless, heavy-drinking smoker with zero motivation and a one-way ticket to nowhere. If I can turn things around, so can you.
It's not easy. There will be days when you want to give up. But every step forward is a victory. Celebrate the small wins, and before you know it, they'll add up to something incredible.
Life is so much better on this side. I wake up excited about the day ahead. I have goals, dreams, and the energy to pursue them. And most importantly, I'm happy. A feeling I never thought I'd experience again.
So take that first step. Whether it's cutting back on something that's holding you back, trying a new healthy recipe, or just taking a walk around the block. Your future self will thank you.
Remember, you're not alone, and it's never too late to rewrite your story.
Stay strong, friends!
https://redd.it/1fzsypc
@r_getmotivated
Story From Rock Bottom to a Life Worth Living: My Story of Sobriety and Beyond
Hey everyone,
I wanted to share my story with you all in hopes that it might inspire someone out there who's struggling like I was. Buckle up, because it's been a wild ride!
The Downward Spiral
For 25 years, I was on a first-name basis with self-destruction. Starting at 14, I smoked about 11 cigarettes a day turning into a pack then 2 by 25. Weekends were reserved for binge drinking, but things took a darker turn when I started downing three pints of cheap vodka every day off and on for a decade. Yep, you read that right, three pints a day with lengthy timelines of 7 or 8 months STRAIGHT before i would eventually put myself into detox and rehab to stop myself from dying. This started happening sooner and sooner after relapse and would always end the same, loss of job, apartment, girlfriend and possessions as well as losing someone close to me each time until the end when there was nobody left. Throw in a diet of junk food (when I ate at all), zero exercise, and a mindset clouded by anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and you've got a recipe for disaster.
I was homeless, aimless, and felt utterly hopeless. I couldn't take care of myself, let alone think about a future. The idea of change seemed as distant as winning the lottery without buying a ticket.
The Wake-Up Call
I'm not entirely sure what clicked. Maybe it was hitting rock bottom one too many times, or perhaps a small, persistent voice inside me refused to be silenced. All I know is that on June 1, 2023, I decided enough was enough. I quit drinking by going to detox, rehab, then a sober living house all in the first 10 months of my sobriety. Trust me, vodka didn't take the news well. I know that because she called out to me constantly during early sobriety.
A few months later, on September 10, 2023, I did the unthinkable, I quit smoking cigarettes. A previously unachievable feat in my eyes.
Baby Steps Turn into Strides
Quitting substances was just the beginning. On August 1, 2023, I started meditating for 15 minutes each morning, followed by a 15-minute full-body stretch. At first, I felt like a pretzel being twisted by a toddler, not exactly zen. But day by day, it got easier.
My diet did a 180°. Every morning since September 1, I've had a smoothie packed with:
2 bananas
8 strawberries
1 teaspoon each of chia and flax seeds
7 walnut halves
7 pecans
10 oz of coconut water
A teaspoon of peanut butter
Lunches and dinners became balanced meals with half a plate of veggies, a quarter plate of lean protein like chicken, pork, or steak, and a quarter plate of rice or potatoes. I'd indulge in a treat now and then, a pint of Ben & Jerry's or some Vietnamese takeout, because life's too short not to enjoy some ice cream!
Sweat, Smiles, and Science
I knew boredom would hit me so I had to add things into my life. Basketball was the first and I started when I got out of rehab. I played everyday until May of this year, rain or shine. No joke, I went out during a hurricane at the end of the summer last year and I joined the YMCA when it got too cold. I still play, but not nearly as much after adding the gym to my life. The best decision I have made this year.
It was my next mountain to climb. Starting May 1, 2024 (yeah, I time-traveled a bit there), I began:
Les Mills Body Pump classes twice a week for an hour
Hockey refereeing for 8 hours a week (gotta love the ice!)
Cycling and Strength classes for an hour, twice a week
At first, exercise felt like a chore. I was the guy huffing and puffing at the back of the class, wondering why anyone would voluntarily do this. But soon, I started to crave it. The endorphins kicked in, and I was hooked, in the best way possible.
Visible Changes and Hidden Healing
So, what's changed?
Energy Levels: I went from feeling like a sloth on a tranquilizer to having the energy of a caffeinated squirrel.
Mental Clarity: The brain fog lifted. I could
[Video] Actors Kayla and Jalen share their journey from the Chicago theater scene to the competitive landscape of Hollywood. They discuss the importance of self-worth, emphasizing that one must not rely on external validation
https://youtu.be/UlBxsqvXci4
https://redd.it/1fz9x8j
@r_getmotivated
Discussion If I could get out of my head, I could rule the world.
Why is this such an easy thing to understand?
Yet so hard to do?
https://redd.it/1fz22du
@r_getmotivated
[image] The best things in life don’t always need the acknowledgment of men
https://redd.it/1g53wj8
@r_getmotivated
[Image] Take the step! Take action even if you are unsure how it will go, just go for it!
https://redd.it/1g4te1s
@r_getmotivated
[Story] How an Indian Philanthropist humbled Ford - RIP Ratan Tata
https://redd.it/1fzzm6a
@r_getmotivated
Story 15+ years isolated as an agoraphobic hermit, but for the past couple months I've been going to the gym.
I'm still completely alone with nothing (no friends, no relationship, no job), and I have no future whatsoever to speak of, and it's extremely unlikely that'll ever change for the better. I slammed into my own personal brick wall 15+ fucking years ago at terminal velocity, and while the gym can certainly have its benefits, it can't resurrect the dead.
With that little introduction out of the way, I'm currently going to the gym 3 times a week now. I'm also working with a personal trainer who himself considers me the best client he's ever had, mainly because I'm so proficient at presenting myself in a positive light, and otherwise masking the inner agony I struggle with on a daily basis. Additionally, my personal trainer showers me with encouragement/support whenever we work together, and I always thank/acknowledge him for it in the moment, but unbeknownst to him, his words fall like sparse raindrops onto a rusted out barrel engulfed in napalm. That about sums up the sheer level of self-loathing I'm grappling with here.
To keep this semi-positive though, I suppose I should also mention that I ended up working out at the gym for 3 hours straight yesterday. I had my initial hour with my personal trainer as usual, but then I trained an additional 2 hours once my brother showed up, as the two of us proceeded to work out together. Needless to say, but I'm pretty amazed I had enough energy for all that. I probably ended up burning somewhere between 1000-1200 calories, which is pretty crazy. When I first started, I couldn't even go 20-30 minutes without becoming so lightheaded that I felt like I was going to faint.
All in all, I continue to make decent progress. Both my mom and my brother were shocked when I flexed in front of them for the first time, given the muscle development in my arms/biceps. Right now I'm hovering around 170 pounds, and at 5' 11", that still makes for a decent BMI.
Next to the physical benefits, it also forces me to interact with others and to be exposed to semi-crowded public spaces. Yesterday was especially noteworthy in that regard, since not only did I have to make small talk and socially interact with my personal trainer, I was also introduced to one of their new hires, whom shadowed both my personal trainer and I for the entirety of our workout together. I managed to make small talk with them as well, and overall I didn't suffer a ton of anxiety by doing so. Quite the opposite, I'm always fairly cheerful/personable around other people. So much so, that most people's jaws would hit the floor if they knew I've been as isolated for as long as I have. Assuming they did however, it'd only invite pity, condescension, and all around contempt. It always seems that once regular people realize you're a hopeless mess, it usually changes the way they look at you, and often for the worse. I've never quite experienced that for myself, given my proficiency at masking, but I'd rather not take the risk either way. After all, I don't need to put my hand on a red hot stove to know it'd cause extreme physical pain, and to feel the instant regret for doing something so needlessly damaging.
Even so, I've made all these victories which, I'll admit, are HUGE, and yet still, they feel like nothing to me. Futile gestures that leave me just as alone and bereft of genuine hope as ever. I mean, at the end of my sessions, I've got nothing to go back to. Going home simply means re-entering this pitch black underworld which erodes my mental health like so much tattered cloth tossed into a container of sulphuric acid. As it is, it's almost like I need a personal trainer for life. In other words, I really need a good IRL friend. Someone that I could hang out with, and be allowed to feel all the safety/authenticity that comes with knowing the sort of person who likes you for you, and who isn't going to be weirded out or scared away by whatever it is you're struggling with. I've never met anyone like that IRL,
This is my life story [story]
I don’t know who needs to read this, but This is my story
I hope you like reading because this is a long ride, but to the few people that read this, i hope you enjoy :)
i am 19 years old going on 20. at the age of 3 i was diagnosed with Extreme ADHD, at 7 Extreme anxiety, at 15 severe depression, 16 mix state of bipolar and depression as well as schizophrenia and dyslexia, and finally at 18 intense OCD. and if that doesn’t make me the most relatable person ever, i don’t know what does.
It started the day i was born, the doctor told my parents that i was going to have down syndrome/ Trisomy 21. He asked my parents if they would want an abortion, my parents being very religious said no. It was only after i was born when the doctors realised that i was “perfectly normal”
I have always been different, i just never knew why. making friends was easy at a young age, because of my excessive ADHD and exploding personality, but i was always getting in trouble and never understood why, it felt like second nature to act the way i acted.
I was in a small private christian school. and we had bible as a subject as well as a few other christian subjects. To no surprise i didn’t do good on any of my test because of ADHD and my dyslexia, so what that meant is the teachers en parents of the kids never liked me because they thought i was someone sort of satanic kid that did bad at school because “I hated God”
after this i started seeing things that was not there ( my Therapist later on in life explained this as “my mind not understanding how to deal with my anxiety and fears, so it creates something that it can understand so it feels validated for being scared and anxious”) i saw what i only can describe as a tall black human figure with no face and horns, I call him Bob.
At a young age this cut deep, and as i went to high schools (public high school) , i started to get insecure and shy. i struggled with making friends because i thought that if I showed the high school kids my real ADHD personality that they would start to hate me too.
my older brother had a best friend that was also like me, except he never got shamed for his ADHD. and as time went on he helped me to make friends and repair my relationship with my brother. me, my brother and his best friend, would play video games together. he was like a second brother to me and the reason for a lot of great things i have to this day.
at this time i started to get a lot of family problems, that i prefer not to post on the internet. but things started to get very bad.
in my grade 10 year i started to feel very bad. Life changed, i became more tired, less happy and had no motivation to do anything. I was never introduce to the concept of depression because, no one that was close to me had depression* that sentence is important to remember
my depression grew like a cancer spreading through my body. i started to complain to my mother about some of the symptoms that i received from my depression and my mom made the conclusion that this was because of low iron levels, so we went to the doctor.
the Doctors immediately knew what was going on, and told my mom to leave the room, she gave me a sheet of paper and asked me to fill it in. it had a list of symptoms that come from depression and I had to rate it on a scale from 1-5
i was not completely honest at some of the more serious questions, because i didn’t want the doctors to show the paper to my mom, so i didn’t expect that the doctors would think i have depression, but after looking at the papers for 5 seconds the doctor called my mom in and told her I have severe depression.
i was dum founded, my mom looked at the doctor funny and said ok. the doctors gave me the strongest prescription of antidepressants that she could give me.
these meds didn’t do anything. but me and my mother never spoke about it again and i didn’t want my mother to know how i was feeling because of a lot of family trauma.
and then the day came (end of grade 10) when my whole life changed, i went to school the morning and
[Story] From Rock Bottom to a Life Worth Living: My Story of Sobriety and Beyond
Hey everyone,
I wanted to share my story with you all in hopes that it might inspire someone out there who's struggling like I was. Buckle up, because it's been a wild ride!
**The Downward Spiral**
For 25 years, I was on a first-name basis with self-destruction. Starting at 14, I smoked about 11 cigarettes a day turning into a pack then 2 by 25. Weekends were reserved for binge drinking, but things took a darker turn when I started downing **three pints of cheap vodka every day** off and on for a decade. Yep, you read that right, **three pints a day** with lengthy timelines of 7 or 8 months STRAIGHT before i would eventually put myself into detox and rehab to stop myself from dying. This started happening sooner and sooner after relapse and would always end the same, loss of job, apartment, girlfriend and possessions as well as losing someone close to me each time until the end when there was nobody left. Throw in a diet of junk food (when I ate at all), zero exercise, and a mindset clouded by anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and you've got a recipe for disaster.
I was **homeless**, aimless, and felt utterly hopeless. I couldn't take care of myself, let alone think about a future. The idea of change seemed as distant as winning the lottery without buying a ticket.
**The Wake-Up Call**
I'm not entirely sure what clicked. Maybe it was hitting rock bottom one too many times, or perhaps a small, persistent voice inside me refused to be silenced. All I know is that on **June 1, 2023**, I decided enough was enough. I quit drinking by going to detox, rehab, then a sober living house all in the first 10 months of my sobriety. Trust me, vodka didn't take the news well. I know that because she called out to me constantly during early sobriety.
A few months later, on **September 10, 2023**, I did the unthinkable, I quit smoking cigarettes. A previously unachievable feat in my eyes.
**Baby Steps Turn into Strides**
Quitting substances was just the beginning. On **August 1, 2023**, I started meditating for 15 minutes each morning, followed by a 15-minute full-body stretch. At first, I felt like a pretzel being twisted by a toddler, not exactly zen. But day by day, it got easier.
My diet did a 180°. Every morning since September 1, I've had a smoothie packed with:
* 2 bananas
* 8 strawberries
* 1 teaspoon each of chia and flax seeds
* 7 walnut halves
* 7 pecans
* 10 oz of coconut water
* A teaspoon of peanut butter
Lunches and dinners became balanced meals with half a plate of veggies, a quarter plate of lean protein like chicken, pork, or steak, and a quarter plate of rice or potatoes. I'd indulge in a treat now and then, a pint of Ben & Jerry's or some Vietnamese takeout, because life's too short not to enjoy some ice cream!
**Sweat, Smiles, and Science**
I knew boredom would hit me so I had to add things into my life. Basketball was the first and I started when I got out of rehab. I played everyday until May of this year, rain or shine. No joke, I went out during a hurricane at the end of the summer last year and I joined the YMCA when it got too cold. I still play, but not nearly as much after adding the gym to my life. The best decision I have made this year.
It was my next mountain to climb. Starting **May 1, 2024** (yeah, I time-traveled a bit there), I began:
* **Les Mills Body Pump** classes twice a week for an hour
* **Hockey refereeing** for 8 hours a week (gotta love the ice!)
* **Cycling and Strength** classes for an hour, twice a week
At first, exercise felt like a chore. I was the guy huffing and puffing at the back of the class, wondering why anyone would voluntarily do this. But soon, I started to crave it. The endorphins kicked in, and I was hooked, in the best way possible.
**Visible Changes and Hidden Healing**
So, what's changed?
* **Energy Levels**: I went from feeling like a sloth on a tranquilizer to having the energy of a caffeinated squirrel.
* **Mental Clarity**: The brain fog lifted. I could
[Text] Nixon's speech plan if Apollo 11 went south. Be those legendary dudes of flesh and bone.
https://redd.it/1fzqpe3
@r_getmotivated
How David Goggins cured my phone addiction Discussion
I used to tell myself over and over in the last 2 years that I was going to get up off of my ass someday and do something with my life. Every time, I’d say I’d train for a marathon, get off social media, read a book for once. And I failed every time. At the end of the day, nothing would change. I’d keep on scrolling, laying in my bed like a vegetable.
But I never made that mistake again after I read David Goggin's "Can't Hurt Me". My mindset changed for good. I learned that there is no secret sauce when it comes to being disciplined. Change sucks for everyone. The people who become great just deal with the pain.
Working out became a non-negotiable privilege: I Venmo-ed my friend $300 and told him to give it back only if I ran a mile a day for a month. I never took my health for granted again, and guess what—I got that money back, and my health back.
Social media to 2 hours a day: I used to doomscroll for 8+ hours a day out of boredom. It was only when I realized that I have to love the pain that comes with boredom that I made a change. I cleaned up my home screen, put my ebooks (got a bunch of books on Apple Books) front and center. I made it hard as hell to get into my socials (used superhappy ai, literally makes me talk with an ai to unlock Instagram). Now I actually treat the time I have on this earth seriously. My mental health is better, and my compulsive scrolling is gone.
And guess what? It all compounds. One book got the ball rolling. And once the ball's rolling, it gains momentum.
Take this as your sign to embrace the pain that comes with change. You'll never regret it.
https://redd.it/1fzbwqv
@r_getmotivated
Is it productive to study in a dim lit room? DISCUSSION
I have been very unproductive lately, am thinking to buy a study lamp and turn the lights off and study under a lamp so that I won't get distracted by other things and my only focus would be on the computer screen and my books.
But am worried if it might affect my eyes, I wear -2.5 power lens, and 18M, is it a good idea or should I try something else?
https://redd.it/1fz7ywq
@r_getmotivated
Discussion How did you finally move forward past your anxiety/depression? What did you do to conquer it?
The past year and half I have been at a standstill from my anxiety and mild depression, and sometimes I feel like there's no end and this is just my life now. It affects my work, relationships, and school since recently returning to finish my degree at 30. I often find myself making excuses to drinking more and exercise less, and be less productive overall.
https://redd.it/1fyzq4j
@r_getmotivated