if it wasn’t for my mom, i’d do it -_-
i love my mom she’s my best friend my superhero she did everything my dad failed to do the day she leaves this earth i don’t want to be here either
https://redd.it/1cao3qe
@r_suicidewatch
I just wanna die I want to kms ... help me pls
Everything feels so hopeless and suffocating I really can't take this anymore... no one really cares, it feels my existence is just a burden to everyone around me I just wanna disappear forever there's no point in going on anymore... I feel so worthless I can't stop crying I feel sorry for being born
https://redd.it/1cakoo9
@r_suicidewatch
Saying "you're not alone" is so much more damaging than suicide jokes
When people try to be funny and make edgy jokes about suicide I usually find it funny and I'm not offended at all. But when people say bullshit platitudes like "you're not alone" "suicide is never the option" it makes me feel so much more isolated and sad.
Sorry, but some people in this world ARE alone. These people that say these things have good intentions, but they are incredibly naive to people who are truly suffering.
https://redd.it/1cak7uv
@r_suicidewatch
Pretty privilege is in my suicide Reasons list
If I killed myself one day. Know that pretty privilege was one of the most fucked thing that happened to make me wanna die.
And before you tell me everybody's beautiful.
I have no eyebrows and no eyelashes (trichotillomania) a big nose a big forehead short with bad eye sight. I have eczema. And I'm overweight. Kinda bald pixie cut black hair.
When I tell you that everywhere I go I get called out w nasty ass name and then they hit u with "I'm joking". Not my fucking fault if I'm not beautiful. Nobody cares about what's in the inside.
https://redd.it/1caehym
@r_suicidewatch
How does one even think about suicide?
I don’t know if this is the right sub for this. I’m not suicidal, but my sister is. She has atempted twice. I just need to understand how one can get to that conclusion, to think that there’s no other thing left in life but dying.
I’ve never considered suicide. I think that, as shitty as life might be now, there’s always room for improvement. And, even if there isn’t, we only get one chance in life. Might as well roll with it.
I understand this is not how everyone thinks. I just deeply need to understand why. I don’t get why my sister thinks of death as her only option left. Perharps if I understand I can help her get better.
Once again, I don’t know if this is appropiate or out of touch for the people in this sub. If I offend any of you, I’m sorry — I am hopeless at this point. I live in a state of fear of what my sister could try to do when I’m not around her, of not doing enough. I also think that, perharps, this might help someone who could feel better and understand how they feel by writing it down.
https://redd.it/1caaje3
@r_suicidewatch
Feeling suicidal is exhausting.
I don't want to kill myself but I don't feel like I can live either. I don't really know what to do.
https://redd.it/1ca8yjf
@r_suicidewatch
all the light is gone
Life has gotten so grey. I don't care about anything anymore. My interests bore me, being around my friends exhausts me. There's so much horrible shit going on in the world and online. All the wonder life used to hold has seemed to trickle away.
What's the point of anything anymore?
https://redd.it/1ca5403
@r_suicidewatch
I’m going to kill myself
All my life I’ve never done right. Never tried in school, played sports but didn’t try hard enough. In relationships I never felt true attraction and if I did it never lasted. I can’t even think straight with how depressed I am, one second I’ll be listening and talkative the next I’m lost. I have people that love me but I can tell they’ve lost hope in, it seems like I died to most of the people I knew a long time ago. Im going to sleep on it but I think it’s time.
https://redd.it/1ca22dj
@r_suicidewatch
I wish I could die without having to commit suicide
Like an ideal scenario would be getting struck by lightning or getting hit by a truck. Yes that would still suck for my parents, but at least they wouldn't be left thinking what they could've done differently and could just move on with their lives. I wish I could die accidentally so no one could blame me for it, so I wouldn't have to worry about choosing to do that to my family. I don't want my brother to have to tell people I killed myself.
https://redd.it/1c9v7et
@r_suicidewatch
3 hours and 14 minutes left
My parting words:
I have planned for this day since mid 2023. I hope you are kinder to each other. Don’t judge someone for their struggles. Don’t violate peoples boundaries. Keep your hands to yourself. When someone says no or stop - actually stop.
Any rapists - your two seconds of sick pleasure will kill your victim.
I guess that’s it.
https://redd.it/1c95wne
@r_suicidewatch
I don't want to kill myself, i just want to die
This is my first post here, i was searching for a long time for someone i could talk to but i found none, then i started searching for community's and things alike, and i think this sub Reddit might help, i live in iraq and currently we're on doorsteps of a war between two strong nations, who both hates us, I myself is a Muslim, I don't care what's your religion or faith or where you come from or what race you are, because after all we're all humans, i can't take it anymore, everywhere i go in social media i find anti arab and islamophbic ideas treating me and others like animals who should be slaughtered or smth by both Israelis and Iranians, I didn't give a shit about them at first but after a while when the tension started between Israel and iran, bombs started falling on some areas on Iraq, snd the hate started growing by everybody, i feel like every human started hating me, English, arab, persian, Hebrew's, all heating me for something i didnt do, and now in rl i feel invincible, father left when i was 9 and now im 18 and i officaly lived without him the same amount of time i lived with him, my uncles on my father side see me as a scar of the past, and my uncles of my mother side don't even talk to me because of family problems, and yet again im hated for somthing i didn't do or choose, and now i stand alone, without anyone by my side, i dont really know what i want from guys to say, I don't think anything will work except dying or in island by myself without any human who can hurt me or backstab me, goodbye
https://redd.it/1c92g9g
@r_suicidewatch
I want to kill myself
Today I'm thinking about it again. I am unwanted and alone. I've wasted the best years of my life and i fail everytime I'm trying to improve. I don't want to leave my cat and I don't want to make my family and friends sad. At the same time i know it would be better for them and that my friends aren't really my friends so it should be ok.
https://redd.it/1c8zk0s
@r_suicidewatch
I’m sick of being lonely omgfgffffffgg
I’ve been lonely my entire miserable life
I just want to Fking die so I don’t have to be lonely
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh 😩😩😩💔💔💔💔💔
Some people like me are just meant to sufferl till we die we’re meant to watch everyone with their family smiling with their friends holding their significant other hand while we’re stuck alone watching but could never be relevant to anybody
https://redd.it/1c8vx6a
@r_suicidewatch
i have just consumed 14 tablets of 325 mg Paracetamol, what’s about to happen?
Update: took 6 more tablets. 20 in total. 6500 mg or 6.5 g
Feeling nothing yet, just a bit sleepy. Took all 20 pills in less than 6 hrs. Can’t tell my parents cause I’m scared shitless of their reaction. I’ll wait, and if anything serious happens, I might tell one of them. Thanks for all the support guys.
I don’t think anything serious might happen to me because I have been taking paracetamol frequently. Like - 2-3 pills weekly of 325g. Not sure about the overdose though
https://redd.it/1c8qzd1
@r_suicidewatch
Why are people in my life are so bothered with me committing suicide if I didn't ask to be born in the first place?
I want to commit suicide since I didn't ask to be born, I constantly bought ropes to hang myself, but my mom keeps taking them away from me. I desperately want to die, but I'm such a coward. People who commit suicide are brave. I don't have children or pets that rely on me, so I can just end my life.
Life is fun, however, there is difficulties of life, with sickness, wars, etc... I was raised in a Christian household and I resent the fact that I was born in a sinful world. I didn't ask to be born and be forced to live. I can happily take my life right now, and Rest In Peace. I don't give a single fuck if I make my friends and family.
https://redd.it/1c8rg3m
@r_suicidewatch
I’m planning to kill myself before I turn 21
I’m currently 18. I have had very few friends throughout my life (less than 3 people I could’ve ever called friends, none of which I know now), the only girl I ever loved broke my heart, and I’ve been completely alone since last year.
Due to loneliness I have tried to find new people to meet and talk to in my life but since false sexual harassment allegations were formed against me last time I went out of my way to talk to a person I have become unable to bring myself to try again.
I’m no longer in schooling due to the incident above (basically just stopped going out of fear of being attacked for it) and I don’t know what I’d even do if I did want to try and find people again.
I feel as though once I have completed my short term goals I will have completed everything available to me in this life, and will end it. Nobody needs me around, and the only person who will mourn is my mother. But I was a bad son so it won’t hurt her too bad.
I have a truly irreparable and worthless life. And no will to live once completing my short term goals. This is the end
https://redd.it/1cap1af
@r_suicidewatch
My experience being ugly and how it has impacted my life
I'm a 23M who just graduated college. I have a recessed jaw, large nose, poor symmetry, overbite, yellow teeth, facial vitiligo which also affects my eyebrow and eyelash hair, turning them white. I have taken the steps to fix most of what I can excluding jaw surgery which I can't afford. At one time I worked out and ate very healthy and was 6'0 170 and around 10% bf, but that did not help.
I understand looks do not define a person, but everyone at least can recognize that it can massively influence the way the entire world treats you and thinks of you. I would even go to as far to say, that people are discriminated solely based on not reaching a certain level of attractiveness.
I remember back in high school where I knew I wasn't the most attractive guy but it didn't affect me and I was a very sociable and happy person. There may have been comments here and there but I was pretty good at ignoring them. In college, I learned how being ugly was truly a disability, and almost daily was the target of some sort of verbal abuse regarding it, especially as I attempted to socially immerse myself with the "college experience." There is a lot of examples but they aren't too important.
After years of enduring this abuse, and not having proper ways to handle it/accept it, I pretty much had a mental breakdown. I am impressed by anyone who has this same issue yet still has a positive outlook and personality despite this fact. I do not have that will power and have been broken by it. The most depressing part isn't the actual experience of being bullied pretty much, but what it has done to me. A once academically driven, determined, motivated, happy person has been reduced to failing academically and having no true career path due to GPA, lacking empathy, having a gray outlook on the world, and just generally being an asshole to most people. My moral code has been fucked, and I generally think the worst of people. My social abilities have been diminished, I struggle to seen any good in people, and doubt I'll be able to make new friends any time soon.
I now have a useless STEM degree since my original plan was to go to a professional school but my resume/GPA is too poor now. I understand that not all of this is based on my appearance. Many people still find happy and fulfilling lives despite this fact. A major issues was the decisions I made due to this including self medication with alcohol and weed, and allowing myself to hyper-fixate on this part of myself during these years. If anyone has any recommendations or advice, I would love to hear it, and yes I have been to therapy.
https://redd.it/1caj1a5
@r_suicidewatch
Killing myself is the only way for adults to realize I'm struggling
Every fucking time I've been told "it's just the teen years", it's not the teen years it's me, I'm the problem. I cannot fix myself, i cannot let other people fix me. I can't get help because no one takes me seriously. Everyone think I'm just dramatic, as if I would never kill myself.
Goddamit is it so hard to realize someone is struggling? Someone doesn't even want to wake up in the morning? That struggles to complete tasks because nothing will come out of it?
I want to commit but I'm terrified of the thought of dying. I want to live, I want to be a normal teen, but if no one understands then I'll be like this forever. I want to commit just so everyone understands that I'm struggling,that I'm not just whining. I feel stupid or even selfish or attentionseeker to have those thoughts, but I can't do this anymore.
I'm sorry If I don't make sense I just want to ramble about this
https://redd.it/1cai0md
@r_suicidewatch
I'm fucking done with life
Venting Incoming:
I should just delete this post because i know that no one would even read it but honestly, i don't care anymore. I don't fucking care anymore. Every day of my life is the same shit over and over and over again. I go to school and sit there like a fat human waste rotting away until 3:00. Plus i'm failing school. Then my worthless ass go in my dark room to waste every single seconds watching meaningless garbage.
After that, Work. Time to serve people who are more better, more richer and more happier than you. Time to get yelled at and called lazy because i made a single fucking mistake, Time to cry in the bathroom at the end of the day because everyone sees my lonely as a burden to them.
I should just end my life because i know no one would notice. No one would care. If i ever killed myself, My parents will probably get a new son to neglect and call a pig. Everyone at school hates my guts. Everyone hates me. They cant stand me. And i can see why. Im just a fat hog who eats and eats for no reason. Maybe i should starve myself. That will be a ironic and funny death to top my pathetic life.
https://redd.it/1caekl5
@r_suicidewatch
non depressed people have gotta be one of the most ignorant people i've had the displeasure to encounter
they speak just like me when i was 12. dismissive and inconsiderate
i was the same asshole that thought depressed people needed to "git gud" and suck it up because i couldn't understand that feeling depressed is a valid response to your situation. not until i fell into the same hole do i understand why people felt this way
never do they look from the depressed person's perspective, they interject their own experience onto the depressed person to invalidate their feelings, they don't try to understand why we're feeling this way even if we do tell them because their damn smooth brain can't comprehend that people suffer and react appropriately to their situation and are not so privileged like them to even have the thought to "think positively"
yet they have the fucking audacity to speak for us as though they know us
how privileged do you have to be to sit there and tell people that they're wrong for being depressed? how sheltered and pampered you are to the point that you can't even comprehend that there are people living horrible lives outside of your little rainbow bubble? you don't fucking speak for me nor anyone who's feeling this way. you don't fucking know what we went through to be thinking this way
https://redd.it/1cabf4n
@r_suicidewatch
If death note was real, I'd write my own name
I'd write my name, and the date after I get out of school, choosing a heart attack, or a stroke, something no one could blame themselves for after I was gone. They couldn't see it coming, it was natural. I've had health problems my whole life, they would be heartbroken but not surprised. I'd be sure I was out of the house when it happened, so none of them have to discover my body.
Then, I'd spend the rest of my days normally, I'd try to hang out with my friends more, make good memories for them to remember me by.
Then I'd hide the notebook somewhere no one would find it for a long time, bury it somewhere.
All that's keeping me alive right now is how much it would hurt the people I care about, and how they would blame themselves, or wonder what they could have done differently. They can't do anything differently, the only ones who could are my parents and that would have had to have started a hell of a lot earlier than now.
https://redd.it/1ca6krd
@r_suicidewatch
I wish I was dead
I don’t understand why everyone likes being alive so much. Why does everyone keep reproducing. What is wrong with everyone. Everything is so repetitive. This world is hard and definitely not fair to everyone. I didn’t ask to be born. It’s also painful and difficult to unalive myself. I’m so annoyed with everything.
https://redd.it/1ca2rh1
@r_suicidewatch
Silence is deafening
I reached out. So many times. I cried in front of them. Theyve seen the scars and fresh cuts. They never card ones. Friends, family, parent. No one. I have no idea why I'm still alive. The HarderI try to make things better the worse they seem I get for the past 10 years. I hate having to either drink or take a bag of gummies to just turn some of it off. I know I'm broken beyond all reason and will not be missed at all, AT ALL, but I really do wish I could have done more. I always liked helping people. Helping animals. Geniuly putting good into the world. Probably why I'm so broken. How many times did I try something stupid like that and the world just shit on me.
I swear even my cats can't wait for me to end it already lol
Tldr: I ramble because no one ever listens sorry. I'm trash
https://redd.it/1ca0ve9
@r_suicidewatch
People disgust me. I don't wanna be around anybody
There was a cat stuck in metro station (exactly in railway). Looks like he's been there for a week now (that's what I heard).
So today I went there to somehow save him. I asked a guy who was sweeper there to see if he knows anything about the cat.
And he responded: "what cat? There is no cat here"
so I stayed there for awhile and actually the cat was still there. But you know he's hiding somewhere so the train doesn't roll over him. (Imagine it must be scary to live like that)
There were also two other womans came to save that cat. They talked to the station workers about that cat. Guess what? That sweeper who told me "there's no cat here" is a bastard liar who just tries to keep everyone out off there. He told those womans that he already saved that cat but he came back again because he wants to live here (obviously lying. He never touched that cat)
So anyway, me and those woman waited a long time to find a good oppurtunity to save that cat (he was hiding from trains and wouldn't come out)
But we couldn't save him because he was also scared of us. And we also couldn't go past of a certain area because those asshole guards threatend us that they would call the police.
Also the firefighter won't come to save the cat. Because they say that they need authorisation from police to do that.
That's so fucking shameful that no one cares about saving that cat stuck in a train station. Actually those guards can easily save the cat at night time when the trains stop working. (Cat's gonna come out when there's no sound of train)
I hope those guards experience the most painfull death and get tortured before they die. (If they really didn't try to save that cat from his nightmare)
Things like this, that's exactly why I hate people. That's exactly shows us how shitty this world is.
https://redd.it/1c94gpb
@r_suicidewatch
Why wouldn’t I kill myself?
I’m 21f and the fact that I made it this far makes no sense. I remember being a little girl who would throw big tantrums and I don’t feel any different now. When I have to do work I still feel like the small girl who’s upset because life can’t go her way. I’ve dealt with many of the problems life has thrown at me which is why Im here able to write this. Nothing in life is fair though and I’m not exactly sure what I’m living for. My parents? My parents who worked hard to immigrate to the US only for me to be a mediocre student in a mediocre college who struggles with addiction.
I don’t know what’s right anymore. I tried paving my own way finding people who appealed to me. I tried forming my own opinions and I’ve ended up alone. Every belief system I attach myself to is full of uncertainty and I don’t know what I have faith in anymore. I don’t know if I can have faith in a person because in the end a person is just a person.
Most people say it’s worth living because one day you could be happy. I see people around me with their 9-5 jobs working endlessly to just satisfy their basic necessities and provide for a family they don’t even fully love. I will probably end up living a life married to someone I don’t truly love, stuck in a job if I’m lucky where every moment makes me suicidal, going to the same few places experiencing the same old things. Everywhere I go I’ll see I’m mediocre and that nothing in my life is good enough.
Everything I enjoy is ruined by the fact that I’ll always be mediocre. I’ll never be funny, smart, beautiful, etc. I’ll just be average no matter how hard I try. I don’t really know what’s there to live for when there’s nothing I can be truly successful in. There are little kids who have us much talent as me and have more resilience.
https://redd.it/1c94s94
@r_suicidewatch
I don’t hate myself - I hate the world
Tonight I have to.
https://redd.it/1c91k7m
@r_suicidewatch
How Much Do Parents Care?
I’m a daughter of two strict Asian parents who care only about looks, grades, and money. Unfortunately, I am ugly, my grades aren’t good, and I still live at home because I don’t make enough to support myself. My mum constantly berates me about my looks and my grades. She says I am better off dead because I am too ugly for a husband and I don’t have good enough grades to be successful. She acts ashamed when talking to her friends, avoids talking about me and only talks about my brothers because they are all handsome and successful. My father does nothing to stop these comments and sometimes agrees with my mum. He’s very distant with me and we don’t talk often. So I have no one to turn to for reassurance or guidance. My mum acts like a narcissist, while my father is just absent altogether. There was one time my mum was so cruel about my appearance that I had finally cracked, locked myself in my bathroom, and cut my arms so deep. Only for her to yell at me a day later for getting blood on my sheets because they leaked through my bandages (I had to pretend it was menstrual blood). My father comforted me a little during this time because I felt like I needed to talk to someone or I would kill myself, but he did so in his awkward lack of affection way. As if I was just inconveniencing him and thought this would be the quickest way for me to go away. I honestly don’t think they would care much once I am gone. They already have perfect sons, getting rid of their faulty daughter would relieve them of this burden. I put shame on the family for just existing and never living up to anyone’s expectations. I feel like I failed as a daughter. Are there other people who have parents who act like this? I have tried to find stories of strict parents’ reactions to their children’s suicides (Guilt/Sadness/Happy) but it seems taboo for them to talk about publicly. So I haven’t found much online. Does anyone have any personal experience about how these types of parents reacted when their child committed suicide?
https://redd.it/1c8yam2
@r_suicidewatch
I need a bullet inside my brain
I have a fucked up brain, I can't do shit.
I have no identity, am just existing. To top that my brain goes dark 24/7.
I have no routine, no passion l, alone all the time for 6 months now, I have no purpose, nothing.
I fantasize about shooting my self in the head, cant do it cause am in a country with no access to guns.
Is this normal is it just lack of will power, i went to the psy he gave me some meds that make me rage and wanting to cut myself.
A nice bullet to the skull will do it. Never wake up again
https://redd.it/1c8verj
@r_suicidewatch
Not trying to commit suicide, but I need someone to vent to
I had suicidal tendencies in the past, still have them on the background. But I need someone I can vent to
https://redd.it/1c8r93j
@r_suicidewatch
So jealous that Americans can get guns to end it quickly.
It can't be just me right? I live in a police state where it's impossible to acquire a gun so my methods are all painful, bloody and complicated. Meanwhile Americans can just go, buy a gun, buy a bottle of whiskey, get drunk and end it quickly. What a joke of a life. I can't even leave this world without pain.
https://redd.it/1c8qjpu
@r_suicidewatch
