I legit feel like my body is killing itself
I never thought I’d be this low. I’ve hated myself forever. I’m 22 and feel more suicidal than ever. I’ve hurt myself for months and even landed in the hospital to get stitches. I had knives taken away, good. I can’t stand life. I can’t sleep. I’m in so much pain. If i got a hug I’d melt and cry. Why must i feel fhis way. Why me. Why does my brain have fo exisy. Why must i have a crush. Why must I crush this fucking hard. It’s been years and ai cant get over her. Now she has a “joke” BF application. Just kill me
https://redd.it/1cdgd3c
@r_suicidewatch
Goodbye everyone
I haven't been able to leave bed for weeks. My parents have been throwing water on me in the morning for a month now. But now I just stay in . I get screamed at. But now no one tries. I used to have friends. But now I don't. I haven't talked to them. I can't respond to anything. I can't take care of myself. I haven't showered in months. I haven't brushed my teeth in.. god. Years. I think they're rotting cause my mouth hurts but I couldn't give a fuck.ive been wearing the same clothes for months. I should probably change my boxers but I can't find the motivation. Only time I get up is to eat or go to the bathroom. And sometimes I don't even do that. I have a water bottle that I piss in sometimes when I don't wanna get up. I haven't shaved my face in awhile. I'm just lying in my own filth . Worthlessly. I used to be A+ student . Now I'm just. A wreck. Worthless. Blowing my brains out would be best. Then a clean up crew could dispose of my body. And probably clean my room. Its not that I want to die, but I want to as well. I want to feel something. Something other then guilt crushing me or nothing at all. I don't know when I became a hollow husk but I wanna go back to when I felt. Maybe the split second I pull the trigger I'll feel my heart skip, and fear set in. But by then it'll be too late.
https://redd.it/1cddhiz
@r_suicidewatch
17, female
i dont want a job, just dont want hobbies, i dont want to move i dont want friends , i quit school, bf broke up with me, and the only thing i do with my life is sleep, i cant stop, i hate it, but i decline any help offered because i dont even want to be fixed, being like this is almost comforting, but deep down i know its fucking horrible and ruining my life, i have so mamy thoughts, i dont want to talk to anyone, but ive been like this for years, i dont want to die, i just want to sleep forever, i hate thinking, i cant handle it all anymore.
https://redd.it/1cd9rbs
@r_suicidewatch
I am planning to put my children to bed tonight and hang myself in the backyard.
I moved to a new place last July and I have not made any meaningful connections. My partners friends do not like me, I don’t understand how to socialize anymore. I have two kids I love. Our roommates who I thought we were on good terms with told me they hated me and that they will call CPS to get them taken away and that we need to leave our house. I do not think I am neglectful, my children have all met their milestones early and are healthy weights, go to school, etc. I was a young mom from a troubled home but I tried my hardest to make sure that my children were in a stable home.
I am very lonely and I think my partner loves me and I have never doubted his loyalty to me but I worry that I am holding him back. His friends don’t like me and have stopped associating with him the way they used to. He moved here because he wanted to be closer to them. I tried to make friends at his job but I was roofied at the bar and made an ass of myself and I cannot remember what happened. I feel at this point in my life I am cursed and I do not see it getting better. Only more loneliness and rejection await me.
My dog went to the ER and it was $3,000. We have no money to move and I feel like an idiot because I try so hard to be a good roommate and keep everything clean and I thought we were friends. I feel like everyone is speaking another language, that I think it’s all ok but really I have misspoken. I am an unlikeable person. The pain has grown and grown in what has been the worst year of my life and I think that it will best for everyone if I go.
https://redd.it/1cd9hss
@r_suicidewatch
Am I in crisis?
I constantly think about killing myself. I know how to get myself killed with high likelihood. I do nothing to move my life in a positive direction.
When I drive my car I am filled with rage. I am a cautious and safe driver but I'm afraid one day I'll snap and cause a collision.
I have trouble even coping, even though that's all I do all day. I fall asleep trying to have comforting thoughts like when I used to be happy with someone. Sometimes when I play video games I get into auto-pilot and get overwhelmed by rumination.
I want to end it all. I consider checking myself into the hospital I've been to, but seems pointless at this point.
https://redd.it/1cd4a20
@r_suicidewatch
Everyone here is so young!
Most of these posts are teenagers or in your 20s. You have so much life ahead of you. Don’t give up yet.
I am 46M my wife abandoned me and my son( previous marriage)3 months ago. life was great but she has a lot of mental health issues. She is on a lot of meds but I still miss her and don’t want to go on. I still have my son and a great family but for some reason, I just wanna go to sleep and not wake up. I feel like I’ve lived long enough and after she left, my future is so dark. We had so many plans for the future. We have known each other for our entire lives ( only married one year) She just left and didn’t say a word there’s no closure or knowing what happened. It’s hard to not hate myself, but I’m also too much of a pussy to kill myself. I know I need to keep going for my son and my ex-wife has been very supportive and reaching out if I need help. I feel so lost and alone. I hate living in this empty house. I can’t sleep trying a bunch of different meds to sleep but nothing is working( except klonopin)
https://redd.it/1ccwjyh
@r_suicidewatch
laying in bed with my gun. everythings set up to go.
i dont even know why im posting this. i wrote my note and set my id to the side. my dog is in his kennel and i already know who’s gonna be taking care of him. this is so long overdue. im just scared of what happens next. i hope im met with some friends on the other side. scared but ready
https://redd.it/1cd03d2
@r_suicidewatch
Committing suicide Tonight
Header says it all. 18 years old and i’ve fucked over my life. Tomorrows my last day before I get evicted and i’m $2k in debt. I moved far away from home because I wanted to kill myself I needed a new start. I got a apartment multiple states over with no job and ended up using all my savings, could’ve most definitely had a job by now, but always procrastinated it like I do with everything. I have no problem with ending my life, not going into detail but ever since the start of 2023 it felt like god doesn’t even want me to live. My method of suicide will be suffocation and yes I understand I will suffer, but 20 minutes of suffering doesn’t compare to what life is. Life is nothing but suffering. Only thing that i’ve been holding onto was my sister attempted suicide recently and left her in the hospital and left my mom broken.
for all those who will ask if I’m still alive in the future. Currently my reddit display name is “unknown” if by 8PM EST April 27th its not changed to anything else, assume i’m dead.
my reasoning behind this post is unknown I’m not even leaving behind a suicide note, goodbye people
https://redd.it/1ccxqwg
@r_suicidewatch
Planning my suicide in 5 days
14, just in short I got molested by my step-father. No one in the family believed me, refused to get me help. Mom lashed out at me for framing her husband and threatened to disown me. This wasn't the first time and I'm tired of these bullshit, mom even said she won't give two shits if I killed myself. So I thought why not, since that's literally the last fucking option.
In the next 5 days, I'll plan out my suicide and see if I'll change my mind or not. Though I don't want to kill myself in public so I won't jump off a random building, I'll use my pocket money and buy a shit ton of pills to shove down my throat.
https://redd.it/1ccqgdg
@r_suicidewatch
Finally Revealed to My Ex That I Was Raped
I talked to my ex and told him I got raped last summer. I kept it to myself because I was so scared and disgusted with myself. When I finally did tell him, he basically told me I deserved it and hoes can’t get raped because it’s consensual. I’m so so hurt. My will to live is over.
https://redd.it/1ccm81b
@r_suicidewatch
15 years has passed and it didn't get better
When I was 17 I was very close to kill myself. But someone convinced me that I had my whole life ahead of me and that things would get better.
15 years has passed and my life didn't get any better. Can I just kill myself now? Or do I still have to suffer for more years for it to be acceptable?
I'm so tired of living my shit life.
https://redd.it/1cciwyo
@r_suicidewatch
I wish I would've killed myself in the past
Every new episode feels worse than the last. I can't go to bed because I don't want to wake up to another day full of procrastination and feeling like a failure. Currently on my finals but I can't get my ass up and study. Nothing will become of me and then I'll be stuck with a job I don't want in my life I don't want in my parent's house where I'm only ever yelled at and made clear to how much of a failure I am. Why can't I give my life to somebody who wants and deserves it?
https://redd.it/1ccgfsa
@r_suicidewatch
God hates me and I want to die
I am going to kill myself. I am convinced that life and God are against me. I have no one in my life that cares for me and no one in my life that will miss me. My friends no longer reach out to me, I live in a shit town with my mother and I’m a loser. I’ve never had a partner I’ve never had love, and I feel useless. My job is dead end and I have nothing to live for.
I will end my life before wasting another day in misery. God got what he wanted.
https://redd.it/1ccd3a4
@r_suicidewatch
Too depressed to live. Too depressed to kms. Stuck.
https://redd.it/1cc9yuw
@r_suicidewatch
I decided to kill myself and I am somehow so happy
I cant stop smiling.
https://redd.it/1cc8cl8
@r_suicidewatch
I lived longer than expected. Don’t want to anymore. Not sure how to make sure someone will find my pets soon enough
I’m over it. Over living for others. I already lived past when I was supposed to die from myself. I did it for family.
I’m over it but I’m not sure how to make sure someone comes by to find my animals without me giving away my mood.
Just don’t want them to suffer but over feeling with everything. Dunno what to do
https://redd.it/1cdeera
@r_suicidewatch
I basically sent my professor my suicide note
It's been 5 minutes and I'm suddenly so embarrassed. It's an embarrassing thing that I did. I sat down at my laptop, and for about 30 minutes I was crying and writing to my professor about how my life has no meaning.
The point of the email was asking her for advice about what I should do career wise, because, to keep it vague, the major that I am in is incompatible with the person that I am.
I wish that I could say sending the note made me want to keep living. I have been stressing for months about writing notes, but now I feel relief. I could kill myself right now and it would be ok because I finally told someone everything. If my friends it family got curious, they could see the last message I sent to my professor and understand where I'm coming from.
Im terrible for leaving this all on her hands. She barely knows me. But I needed to tell someone. I've never had a 'desperate cry for help' moment before now. I'm just so embarrassed. Not necessarily less suicidal, but I'm kind of humiliated. I wish that Canvas had an unsend button or something. I doubt she can do anything. And it's community college so she's not going to 51/50 me or anything. I don't know. Just needed to share.
https://redd.it/1cdbee7
@r_suicidewatch
What’s wrong with me
I don’t know what is wrong with me. All of a sudden I just seem to either upset all of the people around me.
I don’t have a single person that’s around me that I haven’t caused a problem with.
Feel as if I’m nothing but a problem so what’s the point of being here? I don’t want to wake up tomorrow.
https://redd.it/1cd88br
@r_suicidewatch
What is the point?
I, 35F, have been on disability for chronic pain and illnesses (depression Included) for the last 3 years. I've been bed rotting for the last 4 years. Never married, no kids and can't bring myself to meet people. I'll never live a "normal" life. There's nothin here for me in this world. Why stay?
https://redd.it/1cd7vbq
@r_suicidewatch
Commiting suicide because of climate change
World is gonna be unlivable soon. I don't want to fight in the water wars or starve to death on a dead planet.
Climate change denialists fuck off. I don't want to hear your shit.
https://redd.it/1cd1hwm
@r_suicidewatch
Why must even planning this be difficult?!
I continue to wake up disappointed everyday. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. It’s been this same battle since I was a teenager and now in my early 30s I can definitely say, it does NOT get any better. Is it easier to mask when in public, of course.
If there was a way to kms tonight without leaving the mess of getting rid of my body, planning a funeral and having to deal with my debt I would’ve done this months ago.
I don’t live alone & don’t want to put the burden of finding my body on my best friend & also leaving her traumatized to live in her own home. The main question is where to do it & what kind of financial burden I’ll leave my mum with having to plan a funeral for me.
Life is already draining and hard enough, who knew planning your death would be the same.
https://redd.it/1cd27p6
@r_suicidewatch
My girlfriend left me and it hurts so bad
I am 22,
Thought i found the one after finally of being unsucessful in finding a gf 8 months ago yesterday she told me after 8 months of dating that she dosent love me after i questioned her for the truth..
She really was sweet and golden hearted a very good girl i never was and never will be able to find someone like her not to mention i cant fucking imagine myself dating another person or her dating someone else i dont want anyone else to date i want her but now she is gone forever and there is nothing i can do about it and it hurts really fucking bad i gave her all of my life and it hurts so fucking badly dammit the world is just so cruel the way things work just makes me sad again
https://redd.it/1ccwupq
@r_suicidewatch
Become Batman
Hear me out, if you are going to leave everything and end your life then why don’t you do it while helping others. What do you got to lose, you might die anyway. I really hope you guys are all good though.
https://redd.it/1ccs3sc
@r_suicidewatch
I stopped taking my cancer treatment.
I(m27) stopped my chemo treatment last year without telling anyone. I have stage 4 colon cancer and I honestly feel ready to die. I'm sick and tired of this world. I could probably never kill myself directly, so I'm a bit glad I have cancer to do it for me. The only thing I'm worried about is the pain. I'm so depressed and sometimes I feel like cancer is taking too long to kill me. I really hate this life.
https://redd.it/1ccmn80
@r_suicidewatch
Why is ending oneself so difficult
Every god damn method involves some risk of failure and/or irreparably fucking up your body in the process. I mean, I know it comes with the territory but still. Jesus Christ. I just want to go out for SURE and not risk becoming a vegetable in the process dude
https://redd.it/1cck2en
@r_suicidewatch
What’s with people trying to compliment-bomb others out of suicide?
I swear that every time I’ve mentioned being suicidal, or that I have ridiculously poor mental health, people try to bomb me with compliments in some way like it’s going to change anything. First of all, Compliments have to be about something that is true. Second, complimenting doesn’t work if my brain isn’t even up to responding to negative stimuli. So what’s the point?
https://redd.it/1ccjvc0
@r_suicidewatch
I’m pregnant and plan on ending my life tonight.
I’m 18. I’m 26 weeks pregnant. I love my baby, and as much as I want to keep her, I can’t. I’m in a toxic environment, have a disability, and have so many mental issues myself. My situation isn’t the worst, I think I’m spoiled. My (ex) boyfriend dumped me today. I likely have BPD and have said terrible things to him months ago that he just can’t move past which is understandable.
I ruined everything. When I got pregnant, we knew abortion was the best but I couldn’t do it. He told me I baby trapped him, but I didn’t mean to. He did want a family with me, he does care, but with things I’ve said I ruined it while I was in some sort of episode. I already messed things up. I can’t ruin his life. I’m going to give my daughter up but I don’t have it in me. I can’t. It’s why I’m going to kill myself. I tried to overdose in September. It didn’t work. I was put in the ICU on life support. I hope it works this time. I’m sorry.
https://redd.it/1ccfifk
@r_suicidewatch
I might actually just man up and finally do it
I think it’s time. I’m tired of it
https://redd.it/1ccab3h
@r_suicidewatch
Finally doing it, wish me luck
I am currently going through my breakup with my long-distance gf and with all the circumstances in my life, I have decided to finally do it.
From my perspective, I've been through a lot and I think in every person's life comes a point where you should ask yourself if it really is worth it and I have this answer very clear for me.
I thought about asking for advice, but I think it's against the community's rules so instead I'm just sharing that I have ordered my helium tank and will buy an inhalation mask tomorrow, hopefully I can pull it off without fucking up, so wish me luck.
I am actually at peace knowing that the end of my pain and suffering is finally within sight. I have waited for this moment for so long and it is finally coming.
N.B: I'm just venting/sharing, I do not need people telling me not to do it, I just have no one else to share with, not would I want my intentions known to anyone close to me, so I'm just opening up to the Internet instead.
https://redd.it/1cc5n3m
@r_suicidewatch
Which way is the most painless one?
I really can't take it anymore, not even a single thing to be positive about. I've made up my mind.
https://redd.it/1cc72ck
@r_suicidewatch
