Does hanging yourself really work?
or it’s not worth trying because it won’t do anything, I would like to know that
https://redd.it/1cgxkpe
@r_suicidewatch
I wasted my teen years and now 20s
hi i have a problem and its killing me & making me super depressed. in school i was the shy kid and never rlly had much friends. it continued until i graduated high school.y only friend went t to uni abroad and now im all alone in the country i literally have no one. only classmates. and i wasted my teen years already and now im wasting my twenties and its rather killing me. how do i deal with this
https://redd.it/1cgwlie
@r_suicidewatch
I wish I was a good person. I wish the world was more forgiving of mistakes.
I wish I could rewind so, so badly. Not only to fix my past mistakes but to be happy and innocent again. I took away my own innocence. The hardest thing is when there’s nobody to blame for your life but yourself. Because you fucked up. Nobody else.
https://redd.it/1cgvgjk
@r_suicidewatch
i’m about to be black mailed and i don’t know what to do
i’m really terrified of this and i don’t know what to do i can’t sleep or think straight
https://redd.it/1cgnfnp
@r_suicidewatch
How weird is it to be anything at all...
idk. I've been feeling pretty strange since the start of this year; I can't shake the feeling that i shouldn't have made it this far. I sort of feel the same way towards humanity in general. Why aren't we, the people, striving towards world peace? Why are innocent beautiful people, husbands, mothers, sons and daughters being killed by missiles and bombs when all they want to do is live?
Im 21 now but when i was a kid, i had a totally different perspective on this life we live; things were vibrant, colourful and blessed. I hate to think that my childhood perspective was just through rose-tinted glass and that the world was always never totally peaceful.
Like, I sip on a coffee right now in the comfort of my own kitchen whilst some innocent life is taking their last breaths somewhere else.
I dont believe in man-made constructs of God, but I like to believe that theres a higher power; I want to know why anythings here. I want to know what happens next. I want to know if this is a test and if anyones watching us.
How weird is it to be anything at all?
https://redd.it/1cgpyii
@r_suicidewatch
The world is beautiful but I don't belong in it.
I don't think I'll ever have a place in it. There are so many beautiful and wonderous things in the world, and I can't share in life's joys with anyone. No family, no friends, no one to love and no obvious path towards fixing the issues that have left me without anyone in my life. I might be fucked in the head but I'm still a human. I still crave connection to other human beings. I don't want to live my life alone. The thought of that burns.
If I'm going to be isolated anyway, why not just opt for the comforting non existence of death? I've been thinking a lot and suicide is beginning to seem like the most logical way out for me.
I don't have a plan to do it yet, but I don't see anything left for me here. If life is a game, I lost at round 1. It's time to leave the table instead of watching everybody else play from the sidelines.
I don't know what the fate of someone like myself is anyway. Assuming I never kill myself and live a long life, what then? Am I going to be 70 and alone? Not even friends to lean on? It just won't work. I'd rather die now.
I wish I had gotten the chance to enjoy this crazy world.
https://redd.it/1cglvcb
@r_suicidewatch
This world is run by money and without it life is terrible
If people were genuinely good they would just give their money out to people in need. No one I know is actually like that and even my own loved ones will not help me financially. This proves to me that life is a fucking terrible unloving place. I’m not even going to blame capitalism or anything because it’s honestly my own fault that I’m in this mess with so much debt. Guys I’m going to hang myself with a guitar amp cord within the next 24 hours because this is fucking pointless at this point. That will be how you can confirm this is legit if an article comes out about it. I’m the only real one that I’ve met in this world. I was willing to help the most disgusting homeless people who looked like a human scab that no one would approach when I was doing ok financially. Everyone else is a piece of shit who only cares about themselves. You’re all welcome for the art I’ve left. Peace out and fuck u
https://redd.it/1cglwy9
@r_suicidewatch
I encountered a rude nurse!
The last time I attempted suicide I had to stay in a ward for 2 nights. I needed 3 drips, the first one was 1 hour long, the second was 4, the third was 16. But I was in there for a good 4 hours before being treated.
One of the nurses that was treating me had been giving my dirty looks the entire time. I only had a shirt on because I needed the drip so my arms were exposed, I just assumed she was disgusted by my arms or something. In between drips the nurse would come into the bed bey I was in and take blood.
I caused a struggle for them every time because I have a really bad fear of needles, I have never gotten any vaccinations and any needles I have gotten I've been sedated for-- (or have been a toddler) so I understand that she would be annoyed but the 2nd time I got my blood taken, another nurse was holding me still while the original nurse took my blood. This time the nurse makes a rude comment saying " if you can cut yourself you can get your blood taken. "
I was really upset by this and started crying, the nurse just rolled her eyes.
https://redd.it/1cgih0h
@r_suicidewatch
If life felt like a present then people wouldn’t commit suicide
If life was a gift/present like everyone says it is then people wouldn’t feel like killing themselves. The only kind of present this feels like is a present from hell. So everyone who keeps saying life is a miracle/present needs to shut the fuck up.
https://redd.it/1cgfuas
@r_suicidewatch
Gave up
I am 28, and I feel stuck in this shithole.
I feel like no matter how much I try to bring positive changes in my life (esp. a career change and finding love), nothing happens.
I am tired of my job (that I never liked and that pays little). I would love to move to another city, where I could start a new job and find love. However, I sent so many applications without any luck. I have a master’s degree from a top university and decent work experience. However, that is not enough these days.
I just feel so hopeless and lost. Hopefully, I go to bed and do not wake up. Suicide would devestate my mom, so I have avoided it.
Anyone feel like this?
https://redd.it/1cgb8mf
@r_suicidewatch
my presence doesn't make people happy, but my absence would make them sad. how backwards is that?
wish i had the balls do just do it, fuck their feelings.
but for some reason, no one can see how little they gain from my staying here.
https://redd.it/1cga4lw
@r_suicidewatch
I don't have a gun
Really fucking annoying how I don't have access to a gun. I should have been American, then I get a gun and shoot myself. I want a gun so bad. So unfair how I have to commit to everything.
https://redd.it/1cg8jxv
@r_suicidewatch
Alright, I have a shotgun loaded and I’m ready to fire it on myself…
I’m in the bathroom. My heart is racing right from what I’m about to do. This was a good run, but I think I’m ready to finish it for good…goodbye everybody:)
https://redd.it/1cg25ja
@r_suicidewatch
I feel like I was put on this earth to suffer
I’m cursed. Literally NOTHING ever good happens in my life. It’s all bad news or negative. I’m sick of people telling me to be positive and keep marching. For what? To fucking suffer? I wish they would make it legal to choose the right to die. I have zero quality of life. I’m losing everything in my life and every day feels like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from.
Nothing bad ever seems to happen to nasty people. Like I work at this restaurant and the owners are rich snobs that are always making fun of people. They have never had anything bad happen to them in all the years I worked there. (The wife brags to me about it) Their life is literally perfect. Both sets of parents are still alive, vacations 2-4 times a year, they live in a huge house with a great view, own plenty of real estate, their kids are all successful, they have a 17 year old and a 15 year old dog, yet I can’t even have an animal that lives past 10. All my pets have died in horrific, traumatizing ways.
The wife even told me she never met anyone as unlucky as me. I had more losses or bad things happen than anyone else there. I even had people tell me they are glad their life isn’t as bad as mine. I feel like that’s my only purpose in life to suffer so other people can feel good about themselves.
https://redd.it/1cfxrqy
@r_suicidewatch
Why is every method fucking painful???
Except guns, which I can't get until im 18 where I live and i want to do it beforehand. I am terrified of pain because im a coward. Every other method i see is potentially painful. jumping from bridge, overdosing, hanging etc. it's disgusting how much anti-suicide activists get off on telling people the only way to escape this hell is going through excruciating pain you sometimes fail anyways as a deterrent.
I know there are better ways to die anti-suicide people refuse to say because they want you to live and suffer as much as possible. these suicide preventionists are evil. I hate them so much, more than anyone else. I'm not asking for methods because it is against reddit's rules, but fuck why is this so hard? I just want to opt out? I never consented to this. I so fucking wish I lived in canada so I could get MAID.
oh, my family will grieve? I'm selfish? tough shit. they should have thought of that before bringing a life into the world without consent. I can do what i want with my body period.
https://redd.it/1cfudxp
@r_suicidewatch
I want eternal rest so so badly
When is this carousel going to stop? It is all meaningless anyways.
https://redd.it/1cgz1hw
@r_suicidewatch
with no job, no school, no relationships, no friends, no dreams, no goals, will overdose pills in a few hours - no hope anymore
I've heard the "it gets better" and "you're just not trying hard enough/being lazy as hell" way too many times.
In reality, the world is all about fucking money. Okay, don't get me wrong, I like the concept of money, but it's very, very hard to do the things that make you happy with little or no money.
No matter how hard you try to make a difference, it does not work.
When I go outside, I see people with 4-5 friends together. Literally every other person has a girlfriend. I am not saying that these people have the best life, I never know the other person's personal individual problems. And sometimes I feel lucky not to be them. For example, half of the people I see in groups are smokers...honestly let me tell you, I hate smoking and the smell. I can't imagine doing it (because it becomes an addiction very quickly) and every time my teeth smell, damage, when I go with other people, everything smells and I have to change all my clothes immediately, etc.
Everything is just so fucked up, you can get stuck in a dead-end job, that is the easiest thing. Or you can get an education to "get a better paying job" later, sure, but it doesn't work that way. How the fuck is life predictable when everyone only cares about money and you see how hard it is to get into a job interview?
"Everyone cares/is worried about you" (very ironic). Yet the norms of kicking someone when they turn 18 are perfectly acceptable in society. No, almost no one cares, not even family.
I don't see how someone who turns 18 immediately becomes an adult. It is assumed that they should/can take care of themselves completely.
How is that even possible at 18, seriously? How do you even pay your rent, bills, everything?
If you are mentally ill/unstable, you will not be accepted by society. You will be seen as a worthless piece of shit with the only difference that people will almost never tell you outright in public "so as not to insult you," yet you will be much more insulted when it comes time to get a job, try to start a relationship, and such.
You are made to believe that you have values and a purpose in life when you are younger, which is an insult. I would much rather have known what a piece of shit I was when I was 11-13 and even been homeless at that age to see how fucked the world is and even if I had the chance to end it all back then.
"Life has a meaning if you make it." How does someone with a chronic illness, for example, make sense of life in such a shitty society?
Like, let me tell the truth of what I see, the only reason I see someone with severe chronic lilness respected at a young age is because their parents pay for it at that age and/or government support which is 1.) generally very little money 2.) this doesnt change anything. If everything is about fucking money, how do you get to enjoy life? Like nowadays you cannot even afford to go to a restaurant because all the prices are outrageous. Every parent gives their kid a phone / tablet because their sense of being a parent is that their kid will feel entertained for free in the phone (like Youtube videos, video games....)
The most classic reaction of people when they see that someone's child has severe mental problems is "heh, get your child some professional help" or "take his phone/tablet for a few days and you'll see how he'll stop acting like a baby very quickly." You cannot react like this when you see a parent struggling badly; you literally cannot. Most parents already know/have tried most of these things, and if someone tells you that, it usually makes the situation worse.
I have much more to say, but I honestly cannot bother to say it all. I will just hope that an overdose of sleeping pills will work.
Goodbye Everyone
https://redd.it/1cgvl3y
@r_suicidewatch
I’ve had enough
It’s now gotten to the point where if I have a bad day, my friends don’t talk to me, I’ve always understood that you should atleast try to be happy, but I’ve tried for over a year now, and whenever my “mask” falls or they just don’t talk to me and pretend I don’t exist for a day.
I’ve got a rope and a cool looking tree in my forest. No im not trying to build a cool den. You can figure that part out yourself. Idek why im writing this it’s just nice to write down your thoughts sometimes.
if I never respond to comments or anything, take a guess at what happened.
Thanks
https://redd.it/1cgu88y
@r_suicidewatch
Having nearly no sex drive makes me want to kill myself.
I feel unlovable for a relationship. I dont want to live anymore because of it. I'm so embarrassed. No man will want me I feel like.
I also have trouble achieving orgasm. Due to physical trauma to the area. And the drugs I am on olanzapine. I feel like a robot. I feel like I'm just living to work and nothing else.
https://redd.it/1cgopwk
@r_suicidewatch
Id rather be dead than be ugly
Thinking of eating all my pills in my cabinet. Id rather be dead then be ugly and lonely
https://redd.it/1cgkgvs
@r_suicidewatch
The one who commits suicide doesn't want to end his life, he wants to end his pain.
https://redd.it/1cgnp1r
@r_suicidewatch
Five years and still nothings better.
I have been living a hard life for years. I always told myself “itll get better.” And it did. I got a better life, better friends, i got in a relationship. Everything got better. Even my anxiety disorders improving. Yet i still cant find happiness. Im so tired of living, and im not even 18. People say its just hormones and no one takes me seriously. I just really dont want to live anymore.
https://redd.it/1cgft18
@r_suicidewatch
I need money for a rope, can someone please help me?
I’m broke, but I need one, the extension cord did not work. I also need to find a chair I can use and an isolated spot. How do I turn of location sharing because I have it turn on so my sister knows where I am. But I don’t want her to be the one to find me. Thatd be fucked up.
https://redd.it/1cggg58
@r_suicidewatch
Oh man I can't believe I can finally eat all this junk food without guilt! FUCKING DIES
I dream of choosing a specific day for suicide, clearing my phone and my laptop completely, perhaps leaving a note, texting my goodbyes to some people, leaving the house, going to supermarkets and restaurants to spend all my money on food I never allowed myself or always felt shitty for eating, literally everything and anything I want , no matter how much it costs or how many calories and sugar it has, finding a good rooftop, sitting there and enjoying my last meal (binge) so peaceful, without any regret, without a worry about the future, while listening to my favorite music, and then when I'm finished, when I'm so stuffed of my most favorite food until I can't breathe,I jump and put this misery to an end. And then peace.
https://redd.it/1cgce30
@r_suicidewatch
Tbh I don't think life is worth living
First of all no cares if you had a shitty day. Not your boss. Friends would act like they care but in reality they don't want to be dealing with that shit.
Some search for happyness in love but no there's just more pain. Cuz you either get broken up with or have to live with their passing so unless you die first there's no reason to date.
There's no reason to live either. The world just gets shittier even as you get also and you learn more about the world and you learn it was shitty place way before you where put here. And it's still a shitty place.
There's no point in trying to change it.
But when I do die I just hope it's by sum like the sun exploding so I wouldn't have to worry about dying alone
https://redd.it/1cg53qu
@r_suicidewatch
i just took 10,000 mg of acetaminophen. im terrified.
edit: upping to 20,000 mg
+3,000mg ibuprofen
https://redd.it/1cg2ckn
@r_suicidewatch
Days are getting worse
I see my psychiatrist today for the first time. Hopefully for some meds. I can’t sleep or have a positive day. Days are getting darker and the thoughts more Persistent. Wife left 3 months ago and still feels like the first day. I have no reason to go on. Learned how to tie a noose over the weekend and the thoughts of using it are becoming calming. This isn’t a cry for help just venting to the universe. I pray for all of us going through this shitty existence.
https://redd.it/1cg36w2
@r_suicidewatch
Why
Why is self harm so addicting ?? I’m itching to hurt myself, and if I don’t I feel like I’m going crazy. I feel physical frustration. I have to do it. I’m tired and I wanna be gone forever, but until then, hurting myself is all I have.
https://redd.it/1cg047w
@r_suicidewatch
Im 12.
Im 12, and I cant even enjoy my childhood. I know my parents are tired and all, but wouldn't parents atleast try to still help their son/daughter no matter how tired they are? Sure, they give me money, food and all. But I just cant feel the love in our household anymore. And i need it so badly.
I cant paint. I just cant. And i asked them if they could help me, and they just said they dont know how as well. Not even considering to learn how to paint to help me. I cant study anymore. Im losing focus. Im ruining my life slowly (lol so fcking dramatic) and i have no idea what else to do. I wish i werent born. Life is dull. I dont wanna grow up and be adults like them. I dont wanna breathe, and i dont wanna suicide cause i dont wanna hurt anybody else and i dont wanna handle the pain ill have to go through to just be fcking satisfied. The most worst part is, im fucking gay, and they'll probably kick me out and forget i even existed if they find out I'll suck cocks once i grow older. I wish i werent gay. Its not so very happy to be one. I cant enjoy anything anymore. Last year, i atleast still have interest in journaling. I have lost every pinch of excellence in journalism. I dont like english subject anymore. Im losing every last hope and excitement every time i hear my dream university being mentioned. Im so ugly lol. I cant stand myself. I dont wanna masturbate, though i used to back then, but it's been months now and i stopped cause its just no use now. I dont wanna feel like cumming, i dont wanna feel like breathing. I was too exposed early to pornography. I wish my parents tried to shield me from those kind of things. Last last year, we have this homework in school where i have to show pictures of me and my mom or dad like hugging them, showing respect, acting like were talking, and i cant, cause they just screamed and screamed at me before i even get the chance to tell them about the activity. I never got to pass that activity. I was the only student that didnt pass. I wanna feel love. I want to feel being loved again. I think my parents love me, but i dont know, i just cant feel it. I cant smile. I cant sleep. I desperately need love and comfort, and i have no one.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Theres more, but im too tired typing. Yes, im 12, and yes i do find this cringe too but i just need to let it all out or else im gonna vomit and die. I dont wanna die and taste my own vomit as the last thing i tasted. I want it to be fried chicken. I dont know if im even allowed to be here. Lmao are my feelings even valid?
https://redd.it/1cfyid2
@r_suicidewatch
years? he wanted unconsensual sex for life just because she was his wife? is this what a man truly is? a failure?
in the 5 years i lived with my mother its was hell on earth from freshman to senior year. i have never known good role models in my life. i understand that others have it way worse.
i was failed in every aspect, starved so much. not knowing where my next meal was gonna come from.
you know whats crazy. after i found out what type of man my father truly was i cried to my mom telling her she should’ve never chose him. was it so bad in the country she had immigrated from?
i just wish i could forget how much of a failure he is. it was my birthday yesterday. thought i was doing so good but god. who is gonna save me.
in the end both of them got their revenge, my mother didn’t work to provide for us for years and my dad chose to forget about us so that my mom could eat shit.
tldr: narc parents fail 3 kids, scapegoat wishes she never known a failure that exists.
https://redd.it/1cfw2y5
@r_suicidewatch
