37
TrueOffMyChest, a place for people who need to speak their mind @reddit2telegram @r_channels ☑️ Donation: https://t.me/+fPN3cCz6NMw1ZGE0
I’m a 31M and the only women who have ever been interested in me are divorcees
I’m a 31M and my dating life has been comically nonexistent, particularly with women from 25-35. No matches on dating apps. Brutal rejections in person, to the point where the women look distraught when I suggest going out with me for a drink. Essentially treated like I’m invisible and not a potential romantic option.
However, I’ve now had 2 cases where women do want to be with me. A 36F and now a 50F. Both are beautiful blonde registered nurses who were once married. I met the 36F last year and we had a great time, didn’t work out ultimately due to long distance. The 50F is current.
Life is so crazy. Single women my own age treat me like a personal affront if I ever show interest, but the divorcees seem to find me endearing and that I make them feel beautiful and cherished. Both of them actually initiated contact with me. If this is my calling, then so be it I guess.
TLDR; a very inexperienced 31M can’t get dates with women my own age, but successful and attractive divorcees seem to like me for whatever reason.
https://redd.it/1usnt5s
@trueoffmychest
Am I wrong for feeling this way about my mom?
I don't understand my mom sometimes…
I'm a 24y old F and I live with my mom and dad.
When I was younger I struggled with depression (I still do, but I'm doing much better now).
During my teenage years, I was dealing with depression, bullying, health problems, and I had no friends.
Back then, I tried so many times to talk to my mom about how I was feeling, but she never wanted to hear it. She would immediately make it about herself, saying it would mean she had failed as a mother, so the conversation always became about comforting her instead of getting help myself.
Now the situation has changed. She can't work because of health issues, and my dad has always treated her terribly. She's depressed now and often tries to talk to me about how she's feeling.
Today conversation was:
Her: “I want to disappear, I’m tired of this”.
And I said to her: “I felt the same way when I was younger and had to get through it on my own because I didn't have anyone to help me."
And she was hurt by my words…
I know that probably sounds harsh, and I don't want her to suffer. But sometimes I can't help feeling annoyed and resentful. It feels unfair that she wants emotional support from me now when I needed her the most, she wasn't there for me.
Has anyone else experienced something like this?
https://redd.it/1uskgzj
@trueoffmychest
My mom includes me in her insecurities
I don't think she realizes it, but she always tears me down while she is being insecure. My older sister is drop dead gorgeous, like 10/10 model. I have been aware of this my entire life, how can you not be aware? I don't think I am ugly by an means, if anything I would say I am rather attractive but not anywhere near perfect as my sister is. So I have always compared myself to her my entire life, I try my best not to be jealous because I have great qualities too and it isn't the end of the world if my sister is gorgeous.
But my mom.. whenever she is around she is always making remarks about how jealous she is and how WE are so jealous. We were at the beach and she said "she's so perfect don't we just hate her?" And I said no, I do not.
At my sister's wedding last week she kept making remarks to me about how beautiful she is and we have so many reasons to be jealous. I have learned to ignore her, but then she said "we are going to look so awful in the photos aren't we? While she looks perfect." I said. "WE? Why are you including me in your negativity?" And walked away. Does she not realize by her mentioning how beautiful my sister is and how we didn't get lucky like her, she is indirectly insulting me. I know my sister is drop dead gorgeous, but man I don't need constant reminders!
https://redd.it/1us945z
@trueoffmychest
My "creative" friends are terrible at what they do and there's no nice way to say that when they want advice
I know this is a bit of a more trivial matter. Many of my creative friends (drawing, music, coding, so on) are honestly really bad at what they do and despite some of them even being older than me/technically having done it longer than me, have the skill levels of a preteen. If you saw their work you would not think it was made by people in their 30s doing it their whole lives. One reason behind why I feel I have noticed this more lately is because they tend to be very overconfident about their work and have inflated ego. Many of my friends and acquaintances are also mentally ill so things like RSD can be involved; i stray away from negative criticism or comments even if they ask me for my honest feedback. The few times I have attempted to point things out, they say its either a stylistic choice or they simply dont see the mistake/awkwardness.
Generally this isnt something that matters i think, a lot of people are overconfident about stuff theyre awful at. But to answer that question of why this all matter - these friends are usually often trying to sell their creativity, for real money, through online platforms and, along with these attempts, often end up venting their disappointment that they arent making any sales, cant get hired with their "skills" nor are gaining any traction online. I usually say something comforting about how its not their fault and include tidbits about algorithms and engagement, as someone who used to sell art semi regularly but stepped away from the scene. But the harsh truth that i can never say is, people dont want to buy or even like/share ugly art that looks worse than what your average anime-watching high schooler churns out, nor is anyone going to hire a beginner programmer that knows less than a first year student, and theres a reason that they only get sales from their other friends out of pity/just wanting to be supportive. I feel guilt or maybe secondhand embarrassment, maybe both, whenever it comes up.
Editing to add i am not rude or discouraging towards anyone's creativity just because this is my opinion internally and i don't even necessarily think its the way things should be, just that it is how they are sadly. Typically when people browse for creative shares on social media they want stuff that they personally think is "good" and that can be a surprisingly high standard sometimes coming from average people. Personally im anti capitalist and don't think anyone should be resorting to commodifying their creativity to survive (and people should be creative for fun, not to be "good") but if you are going to try and reliably sell art or music or whatever it may be, unfortunately theres a public standard of sorts to meet before people consider it worth spending money on.
https://redd.it/1us7wna
@trueoffmychest
I planned a party and only one person showed.
This week was the Big Brother 28 season premiere. I’ve watched every season! Normally, each year in my adult life, I host a little watch party for the first episode. Food, fun, conversation, all the things. However, I moved out of state right before this years season started and couldn’t do anything in person. So I chose to do a zoom meeting watch party and an optional draft after the show. I have a list of ten people that told me they wanted the link two days ago when I sent out feelers of who would want to join. Today, I sent the invitation link and at least 6 of those people confirmed in some way that they would be joining and participating in the draft. Well, when the time came, only one person joined the zoom and it wasn’t even someone that confirmed earlier in the day.
I don’t have anything to ask. Nothing to do. Literally just wanted to get it out of me as most of the people who said they were going to join are the people I would normally talk/rant to on a daily basis so I don’t really want to show how disappointed I am.
https://redd.it/1usb45q
@trueoffmychest
My best friends boyfriend doesn’t deserve her
She came over and slept over one last time last night, she is moving 4 hours away tomorrow to move in with her boyfriend she’s been with for 1 year.
He is the biggest piece of shit. He has pushed her confidence down and down. She is 26 years old. She loves so hard. He has consistently planned trips out of the county with other women, lies to her about who he’s with, talks down to her, is so rude to her. Not to mention he has given her an STD in the past. Using his religion to justify his actions. I am so fucking sad for her.
Last night she said something I haven’t been able to get out of my mind “I’m settling for him because I think every guy will treat me this way”
I know all I can do is support her but I am so sad for her it breaks my heart.
https://redd.it/1us65nq
@trueoffmychest
My sister has become obsessed with having my disability
Context: when i was 6 years old, my primary care doctor noticed that I had a heart murmur and referred me to a cardiologist. At age 8, i was officially diagnosed with hypermobile ehlers danlos, as i aligned with all the symptoms perfectly.
Since then, I've dealt with endless doctor and specialist appointments, surgery, procedures, chronic pain, subluxing joints, and serious comorbidities. I wouldn't wish my condition on anyone and I personally am extremely lucky that the early diagnosis has allowed me to take great care of my body to the point where i am still mobile and active 20+ years later, with limitations of course. However, i do rely on a cocktail of prescriptions just to do so, and I know that i practically live on a timer, and at any point I could experience a serious complication that could set me back, or even permanently take away all my independence.
Story: I can't particularly remember when it began, but I want to say it was around 4ish years ago, my sister started talking about how she thought she had my condition.
Now, my sister is by no means the healthiest person, but she has a history of lying about being sick and exaggerating her symptoms. She is diagnosed with fibromyalgia and all the symptoms she's described to me over the years align with it, not ehlers danlos. She also has a bunch of mental health conditions.
Despite this, and even me telling her multiple times throughout the years, she seems to have become obsessed with having ehlers danlos. I've also mentioned to her many times that if she truly believes she has it, she needs to seek a diagnosis for it.
She has not, and instead continues to talk about how she thinks she has it, or even says she has it "mildly." Her symptoms? Stretchy face skin and a curvy cervix. She has said that some of her doctors have even said they think she has it, but i don't know what she is telling them.
The scariest part is she has projected this on to her 1 year old son, thinking how he has it because of his soft skin (wow imagine a baby having soft skin!).
It hasn't been that long since this started but I'm starting to get to my breaking point. At this point it feels like she is romanticizing it and wants another scapegoat for her inability to do anything and everything.
I feel disrespected by her lack of understanding of how serious my condition is. She constantly brings it up and I don't need anymore reminders of my ticking timer than i already have. I have thought about cutting her out of my life many times but its hard since she lives with my parents and i worry for her child.
Tldr: my sister is obsessed with having ehlers danlos syndrome despite obviously not having it and constantly talks to me about how she thinks she has it
https://redd.it/1us4edv
@trueoffmychest
I Am Proud, But Feel I Cant Tell Anyone.
I am so pround of myself doing this. I have been saving money for my biological Neice since she was born to give to her when she graduates high school in 2038 to help her get a good start in life.
Everytime I get a bonus from work and on her birthday I put some money in a TFSA for her.
The funny thing is, I haven't told anyone. Only because I am afraid that I will be questioned on why I am doing it and that someone will try to deflate my happiness that I get from doing it, whether they mean to or not.
But the truth is, I don't need anyone else's approval. This is something that matters to me. It's a small act of love, a long-term commitment, and proof that I can set a goal and follow through with it.
So even if nobody else knows about it, I'm taking a moment to acknowledge it myself: I'm proud of the future gift I'll be able to give her when she reaches that milestone. Sometimes the victories we celebrate quietly are the ones that mean the most. ❤️
https://redd.it/1urv3yn
@trueoffmychest
but it’s too little too late. You can’t work on something you don’t have.
https://redd.it/1uru5ji
@trueoffmychest
Decades of nothing but rejection have destroyed any interest I have in dating ever again
I’m a 31M. Life is pretty great, I can’t complain too much. I’m lucky to be in good health, have loving parents, a job that pays well enough, friends, and hobbies.
But wow, I must be the most unattractive guy there is, from a looks and/or personality standpoint. On dating apps I rarely got matches and if I did, it would never lead to a date. In person I’m quite shy, so I rarely approach women in person. To be honest, I’ve probably only asked out like 20 people in person in my life throughout my adult years, like 1-2 per year at most. Never got a yes. Usually I just ask if they’d like to get a drink sometime. Sometimes I may lead with a compliment about their style choice that makes me want to die of embarrassment when I think about it in retrospect, like “hey I noticed that your scrunchie matches your shirt perfectly, that looks great”…god I have no game.
A woman at a place I frequent had caught my eye recently so I tried asking her out and was brutally rejected. The look on her face made me feel like I ruined her night and I felt so guilty and embarrassed afterwards. Like a self inflicted hole in my stomach. And I’m probably going to see her a lot more this summer.
I have guy friends who are married and I hang with them and their wives all the time. Their wives don’t have many single friends and if they try to introduce any to me I tend to not be that attracted to them and we just end up friends.
So now I just feel numb about all of it. I used to fantasize about how good it would feel to enrich someone else’s life, make them feel special, and have them feel the same way about me. And now I know that’s all it ever was, a fantasy.
TLDR; rejection is humiliating and approaching women in person makes me feel like a complete loser and creep. I’m not doing it ever again. If I were to make a culmination of my life’s worst moments, they would all be when I try approaching women. So at least I guess that means my life is really solid otherwise!
https://redd.it/1urpc60
@trueoffmychest
Husband screams in his sleep after drinking. He’s agreed not to drink at home but did so anyway.
My husband screams in his sleep if he has been drinking that evening. It can last for a few minutes, or several hours. Very occasionally, he does this sans alcohol too (he doesn’t wake up as in a night terror, he just screams and keeps sleeping), but most of the time these outbursts are caused by alcohol.
Because it prevents me from sleeping when this happens, I’ve asked him to not drink at home, and if he’d been drinking elsewhere, to sleep at a hotel or friend’s house. He agreed to both.
This morning at around 4 AM, he started screaming. We sleep in separate bedrooms, but it was loud enough to wake me up. I went to his room to see if I could wake him. I found a bottle of vodka with about 1/3 left. I think it’s safe to say he’d been drinking and today’s outburst was a direct result. After our agreement, and knowing that this keeps me from getting any sleep, this feels like such a betrayal and I’m not even sure where to go from here.
He never remembers when this happens afterward and he definitely doesn’t realize how frightening it is. This situation is very lonely.
https://redd.it/1urn0y5
@trueoffmychest
I left the Mormon church
I was born into the Mormon religion and I was a true believer until about 3 years ago when I started to question my faith. It was exactly what I didn’t want at the time. I never wanted to leave the comfort of my religion. My whole life plan was laid out for me in steps that I meticulously followed. I got baptized at 8 years old. I got my patriarchal blessing. I graduated seminary. I attended church every Sunday and mutual every Wednesday. I held many callings. It was safe. And if you asked me if I was happy while I was in the church I would have told you that I couldn’t possibly be happier. I recognize now that life is so much more fulfilling when I am living for myself and not the church. I just wish my family and friends would be able to understand instead of shut me out of their lives.
If you are unfamiliar with some of the Mormon specific terms that I have used I am happy to explain.
https://redd.it/1urj4xu
@trueoffmychest
I ended up hospitalized after I saw their pictures together.
I was always saying to myself that I can’t take a heartbreak anymore. I was right.
Yesterday I learned that my mom had an accident, got hospitalized. She drowned in the sea on vacation, my sister gave me the news and for a whole day I did not understand anything. Could my mom be gone? I had a bad relationship with her, and the worst part is, what if she was gone and she did not know that I actually loved her?
I went to work. I functioned all day. But the weigh was there, on my shoulders. In my heart.
Then my guy who I was seeing dropped the bomb that he is on vacation. Fair to say, we were casual, I was like, yea ok. Then I found out he flied from fucking Netherlands to Brazil to see her. TO BRAZIL. At least he could have been honest with me and say he has someone special out of the country.
All together. I started to spiral and got a big ass vodka. Started drinking. All i know next is my flatmate seeing me and me crying to him. I went home but my heart was hurting so bad that I had to call ambulance.
I ended up in the hospital, they put me in a room and gave me some sedatives. And next time to go to Psychiatrie.
Be honest to each other, people. Some people have too much weight to carry.
https://redd.it/1urfeh6
@trueoffmychest
Complimented a woman’s hair and she cut it off
M19, I’ve been trying to come out of my shell as of recent. I been working on paying more compliments and smiling more.
I woman my age that goes to the same mma gym as me came in with vibrate green and black hair.
I smiled and told her I like her hair, the very next day (ie today) she fuckin buzzed it😭
I looked at her insta and it’s full of man hater reposts.
It feels like there is no way to progress forward in this day and age.
https://redd.it/1ure3vc
@trueoffmychest
I hate the dating experience as a tall woman
I'm 19F and 173 cm tall (5'8") and honestly, I hate the dating experience that comes with being a tall girl.
((For some context I'm Spanish (average height for women here is 160 cm. 5'3" or less and men tend to be short too). ))
The biggest issue isn't even my height itself. It's the kind of guys I seem to attract.
A surprising number of men who are specifically into tall women seem to have this fantasy that we're automatically dominant, intimidating or some kind of mommy/dominatrix figure. That's just not me at all. I'm actually very submissive sexually and while I have a confident personality I don't fit that stereotype whatsoever. It feels like they're attracted to an idea of tall women rather than to me as an actual person.
Then there's the other group of guys who say they "love tall girls" or that they don't care about height. But I've noticed that quite a few of them end up dating (or even cheating) with very petite women. Ironically my ex cheated on me with a girl that was really really short and he used to claim he loved tall girls lol. Maybe it's just confirmation bias but it sometimes feels like a lot of men ultimately prefer really short women.
Like dont get me wrong I kinda understand why people have height preferences. Personally I'm attracted to men who are taller than me because they make me feel protected and safe. I imagine some men like really petite women for a similar emotional or instinctive reason.
Another frustrating thing is how hard it's to find genuinely tall men. So many guys claim they're taller than me and then we meet in person and they're my height or even a little shorter. I don't mind if someone is honest about being shorter but lying about it just makes things awkward.
Sometimes I genuinely wish I were around 165 cm (5'5"). I feel like dating would be so much easier
https://redd.it/1ur7ua2
@trueoffmychest
I trusted everyone until I realized people only stay for their own benefit. Now it's just me, my silence, and the loneliness I learned to live with.
I wasn't always this guarded. I used to believe that if I was kind, honest, loyal, and always there for people, they'd eventually do the same for me. I thought genuine connections happened naturally if you treated people well. Instead, I became the person others talked to when they were lonely, bored, needed advice, or wanted someone to listen. Once they felt better or found someone more interesting, I slowly disappeared from their lives. No arguments. No closure. Just silence. After experiencing that over and over again, something inside me changed. I stopped expecting people to stay. I stopped believing that I'd ever be someone's first choice. Now I spend most of my time alone. I've gotten so used to the silence that it almost feels normal, but every now and then it hits me that this isn't really the life I wanted. What hurts isn't being alone. It's realizing how rarely I've felt genuinely chosen. I still want meaningful friendships and real connections, but every disappointment makes it harder to trust that they'll ever happen. Maybe one day I'll meet people who stay because they want me in their lives not cuz they need something from me. Until then, it's just me, my thoughts, and the loneliness I've learned to carry.
https://redd.it/1useih9
@trueoffmychest
I’m So Glad my Relationship Ended!
Yesterday I found out he was actually cheating on me for the past 5 months.
After 5 years together, he was in a whole other relationship for 5 whole months. He started cheating on me in February and we signed a new lease in March!!
I kicked him out immediately after finding out. I publicly shamed him (and her bc she knew I was in the picture) and I genuinely don’t care. I’ll leave it alone eventually, but I’m feeling a sense of catharsis just ridiculing him.
I FEEL SO FREE!! A genuine weight has been lifted off my shoulder.
I thought I’d be more upset than I am, and maybe it’ll hit me but right now I am in just a state of bliss.
(reposting bc it got deleted)
https://redd.it/1usjzcv
@trueoffmychest
I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it
I’m a lady who has been in a relationship with a man for 12 years. We’re both in our 40’s. We’ve lived together in my condo for about 7 of our 12 years together. At this point we are roommates who share bills and pets. Nevertheless, I care about him deeply and don’t want to hurt him.
He has a progressive neurological disease (MS) that is only going to get worse. This is not his fault and I have always had tremendous empathy as someone who spent her 20’s dealing with a life changing autoimmune disease.
His mobility is severely impaired. He lost the ability to drive around the time he asked if he could move in with me. His car is still sitting in the garage, dead. We still do not have a disabled placard. The first time I brought it up, years ago, he resisted and told me I wanted it so I could “get better parking”. Keep in mind this man can barely walk. I told him that was offensive and disrespectful. As the person who drives him everywhere and then helps him get to wherever he is going, I brought up the placard again and again. The second attempt at an application has been hanging on our fridge for over 6 months. I told him I was happy to help him fill it out anytime but would not do it for him. The last time I clarified that was about a month ago. It’s still on the fridge.
He once scheduled an all day medication infusion on my birthday, and then subsequently stopped going altogether for over a year, during which time his disease progressed rapidly (Covid didn’t help). About a year and a half ago, he stopped being able to safely take the dog outside. He adores our dogs.
He gets a lot of dry cleaning done. I don’t know why and I don’t really care, but he grew unable to make it safely two blocks to the dry cleaner and it became my job. I asked him to look into their pickup and delivery service. He didn’t. I went and arranged it in person and I burst into tears in the dry cleaner. They hugged me.
He makes about double what I do, or at least he did until he recently lost his job. He can really only do remote due to his health. I have no idea what he is going to do now. I have never had a problem with the way we’ve handled our finances. We each contribute 50% of our pay to a joint account where all of our shared expenses come from. He was kind and patient with me when I got laid off a few years ago. Of course, this is all possible because we are living in a place I own.
Together, we have way too much stuff. Our 1100 square foot living space had, at last count, about 20 guitar-ish instruments and 4 keyboards/pianos. The only one that’s mine is the upright piano I’ve had since I was 3. I also really struggle with piles of stuff due to a combo of depression and not having adequate storage space. The mess is not all his. It is bad. This lead my dear family to help us look for a bigger place (my parents are saints). I found one and am getting ready to move with a tremendous amount of support from my family. I have (mostly) reached the conclusion that I cannot have him go with me and it is eating me alive.
I don’t know a single person who thinks I should stay in this relationship. I can absolutely see why they feel that way. So why is this so incredibly hard? I don’t know what I’m looking for here. I just feel sick about the whole situation.
https://redd.it/1ushnpi
@trueoffmychest
I went to work with a black eye that was caused by my own doing and everyone thinks I was abused
3 nights ago I slipped and fell inside the shower. The side of my face slammed into the side of the tub and I started bleeding my eye socket. I thought I had just broken skin, the next day my eyes was massively swollen and it’s a bruise right underneath my eye, in a spot that I didn’t slam on. I was so mad, I took a couple days off work because makeup doesn’t hide it. I went in today because I thought it looked better today since the swelling isn’t as bad but the bruise is still there, and plus I couldn’t afford to miss more days. I get in and all of a sudden my asshole coworker started being weirdly nice to me and helping me all day. I thought “oh he must be in a good mood today!” Then everyone I talked to I could tell noticed my eye. No one asked me about it so I was like maybe it isn’t that bad. That was until 2 hours until my shift ended, one of my regulars walked up to me and whispered “what happened to your eye? Do I need to beat someone up?” And I told him what happened and he laughed and said “oh they all say I fell! I just wanted to use my bat, you know I got your back.” I felt like shit because it hit me that everyone sees me as a victim and I fell in the fucking shower. Honestly I probably wouldn’t believe it either because it genuinely looks like I got punched in the eye but I didn’t! I was treated with kid gloves all day and never heard so many “my love” “my dear” “sweetie” at work until today. It felt so humiliating.
https://redd.it/1us68wi
@trueoffmychest
i am no longer attracted to my husband
Over the course of our relationship he has gained 100 pounds. I feel like i’m just deep in the newborn trenches again but i can’t stand him. After he gets off work he wants to just sit on the couch and watch tv with me. I don’t even watch the show with him. Is he that stupid he doesn’t realize i don’t like it? literally prior to us watching this show i wanted to watch a show with him it lasted 20 minutes into an episode before it got switched.
He doesn’t play with our kids just sits on his ass all day after work. i’ve tried to subtly try to get him to pay attention to his weight by mentioning i’m going on a diet. working out infront of him. i’m trying not to be mean but for fucks sake the couch has his imprint in it. I can’t even sleep in the same bed as him because he’s so big he’s got sleep apnea and snores SO LOUD i hear him in the living room.
i’m the one up at night with our daughter. i’m the one taking care of everything house related unless we argue is when he MIGHT wash the dishes or do laundry. If i talk about what’s bothering me my tone is attitude. if i don’t “im withdrawing”
and either way he leaves me alone with the kids and go lays in bed.
IM SO tired. i just want a break. i just want to for once not do 2 people’s work. i parent enough for the both of us.
the only thing he does is go to work. i’m so appreciative and tell him all the time i appreciate his hard work but honestly im being killed mentally each and every day that passes.
i know im a fucking asshole but i just want peace.
Edit: for those asking if i work. Yes part time.
https://redd.it/1us9pn7
@trueoffmychest
Fuck you dad your son is still gay even after everything you did
Yes your son is still in love with a boy and still sleeps with a boy and yes I kiss him every day on the mouth and whenever you'd fuck me up as a little kid I would go to the playground and I'd fucking kiss him anyways. Even if you told me again and again how you're gonna kill me like the pig I am I still went to see him. And I do every day. No matter how many times you beat me and how much of your therapy you do on me. No matter how many names you call me and how much you tell me how disgusting I am. Guess what, it didn't fucking work. You ruined my life but you'll never get me away from him. You'll never ever make me stop loving him. I'll always be that little animal you hate so much. And so will you. Because I know you're just the same you pathetic piece of shit. No matter how many drugs you take or how much you hate yourself or how much you beat me, you'll still be just the same you stupid coward. And I don't give a fuck what your dad did to you and how you and your lover boy didn't make it. I don't give a fuck that y'all couldn't handle your shit. I'm not weak like you. Some day we'll move far away and get married and I'll send you pictures of our wedding so you can lose your shit over it for all I care. Get the hell over it.
Well I wish I could say this to his face right now. Sometimes I even do but it doesn't end well because I'm just a kid and he's too strong for me. But some day I will be stronger than him and then he'll really listen. He's genuinely so fucking insane. Ever since I was 5 years old he's been beating me because of this and done even worse stuff. He forced me to eat dirt and shoved dirty shoes into my mouth. He showed me all that straight porn when I was little to fix me. He kicked me in the balls and said he'll cut my dick off so I won't ever be able to have sex with a boy when I was 7 years old. I didn't even know how sex worked yet, I was just in love. He burned me with cigarettes and said he hopes I'll remember the pain whenever I look at that boy. Then he showed me all those real videos of gay people being killed and said that's what he'll do to me if he ever catches me. And still he never managed to get me away from the boy I love. So fuck you dad.
https://redd.it/1us4x4y
@trueoffmychest
Waiting for an abortion is eating me alive.
I've posted about it so much already, and I've gotten great advice and different ways to handle and cope with the situation I'm in. However, I am nothing if not a worrier.
I'm 24, married, and we're childfree. I had been on the same birth control for years, and it failed. I knew that medications, illnesses, supplements and basically anything could interfere with its effectiveness. I was careful and none of those things have been an issue or taken in the last few months. My BC quite literally just failed.
I made an appointment to a (legit) clinic near me the day after I got the positive test. I cannot describe the amount of shock I was in when I saw the second line develop. I took so many tests, and all came up the same. I had to wait six days for my appointment at the clinic, just to find out I came in too early.
And I won't even lie. I got borderline blackout drunk the day I found out I was pregnant and the day I came back from the clinic. I have been nothing but a ball of nerves since I found out, and it's gotten exponentially worse since I had to reschedule.
My tests were still coming up pretty faint, and that's what happened at the clinic. The ultrasound tech couldn't find anything yet, so they couldn't tell how far along I was. They can't give me the medication until they can see the pregnancy on the ultrasound. I'm assuming this is also a way for them to rule out ectopic pregnancies as well.
According to the math, (first day of last period was May 25) I should've been six weeks on the dot at my appointment. There was nothing for them to gauge how far along I was because they didn't see anything there to begin with.
I was scheduled to come back in two weeks. It's been exactly two days since my appointment, and it feels like I'm going to be waiting forever. My life has been consumed by this. I feel like shit, I can't stop eating, I'm constantly cramping, my stomach is upset off and on, I'm nauseous off and on, I'm bloated, I feel disgusting, I'm beyond exhausted all the time, and I can't stop thinking about when this will all be over with. My mind has been racing since the test came up positive.
I figured it would be horrifying to be pregnant when you don't want to be, but I didn't realize how shitty I would feel. I can't talk to family. I'd be mortified if they ever found out. I've isolated myself over the years, so I can't reach out to anyone. I don't think I want to reach out to anyone, even if I could. I'd be such a pain in the ass.
My partner has been more than supportive and understanding, but he can only understand to a certain degree. Like, he'll never really get how fucking insane I feel right now. It genuinely feels like I could just combust from how nutty and anxious I've been feeling, and the waiting game is eating me the fuck up.
https://redd.it/1urybng
@trueoffmychest
29, married with 3 kids feeling completely regretful and overwhelmed lately
​
Full disclosure I obviously love my kids and take accountability for my actions that lead to this point. That being said lately I've been seriously having feelings or regret and just downright sadness over my current situation. On paper its seems great but I am so unhappy as of late. I feel like I missed out on my 20s.
We had our first at 24 unplanned and then just kind of went all in on the "checking boxes" part of adulthood. Bought a house, got promoted at work and then had our second and eventually got married. Alot happened in a short span of time and I feel like I was just doing the things your supposed to do when you start having kids, now looking back and this stuff has absolved my whole 20s and the future to me now just looks bleak. Like I've already settled into the rest of my life of just work and kids. I miss my freedom, my friends, my identity before kids. Looking back now it's like I wish just tunnel visioned and doing what I thought we should be doing. I honestly didn't really start having these feelings until she got pregnant with our 3rd. Now I just feel like life is over. Im at a point where I make good money but can't do any of the things I pictured myself doing because all time and funds are allocated to my family. I'm just so upset with myself that I took things for granted when I was younger. I never actually planned for things to be this way.
As far as me and my wife's relationship goes it all started out as casual. We were just dating and having fun and I honestly think alot of my feelings about her came from the validation I got from her. She has really not been the same since the first kid. Everything is overly serious now and we don't have those fun light hearted moments anymore. I kept telling myself for years that these things would come back once we got settled in and they just never did. On top of that we had started going to church which was great at first, but now feels overbearing. She got very into it and made alot of friends in the church which I am happy for because she's not really had a solid friend group here (she's not from my town) but now I feel like I can't do anything without being judged like go out with my friends or have them over for a couple beers. I actually feel like a prisoner in my own home and its so draining and I'm not even sure how to address this with her. Also some additional context she is a SAHM since 2024 when we bought our house.
I wish I didn't take my life and freedom for granted. I'd do anything to go back to the carefree days and wait til I was older and more mature to have kids. I have no idea how to cope with these feelings but its causing so much resentment in me toward my wife and just my life as a whole. I wish I would of done things in my 20s like move out on my own, go on trips with the boys, etc. Now things are different.
I'm still lucky enough to have my core friend group intact and close and I did have this convo with my wife (albeit leaving out alot of the deeper stuff that I know would hurt her) and made it pretty clear I want Saturday nights for time with friends and of course offered her a day as well. I'm just lost at this point and so upset with myself for taking life for granted to the point where its all I can think about. Like on one hand I feel ungrateful for all the things I have. I'm the only one in my friend group with a family , a house ect but all in all I just feel like I grew up too fast and had kids too young and just wasnt ready for this level of seriousness in my life. The idea of this being my life for the long foreseeable future is incredibly depressing.
Posted this on some other subs with some good advice just thought maybe this sub could provide some advice from the marriage angle.
Tl;dr Went all in on kids and life milestones after the first one and now feeling trapped/regretful over the past years and bleak about the future.
https://redd.it/1urt0yj
@trueoffmychest
My fiancé asked me if I’d be ok with my bio dad hurting himself after I sent this message. So I didn’t.
On Father’s Day, my (f30) bio dad (m67) messaged me on insta saying he’d “hoped for a message from me but didn’t expect it.” He said he’d been spending time with my half sister (f37 who I’ve never met in person) and they were getting along and rekindling their relationship. I checked their facebooks and it seems like that’s true and she’s been super excited about it. Posting pictures of them together with hashtags like #healingchildhoodtrauma and #fatherdaughtertime.
He said he wishes he and I could work on our relationship and honestly it all just makes me so mad. I have been in the same room as this man less than three times in memory. Apparently he was around for the first year of my life and when my mom told him to leave for his abusive language and substance abuse issues (weed and alcohol) he never came back. He never fought to be apart of my life. My mom says, as a baby, every time someone that looked like him walked into the room I would start breathing faster and my heart would start beating faster. I’d strain to see the person’s face and when I realized it wasn’t him I’d go limp and look sad. She said I loved him and was clearly missing him even though I was only a year old. Growing and into my adulthood I’ve always felt SOMETHING was missing. My step dad has always been there for me, and he and I’s relationship has gotten better over the years but he was definitely a step parent. I think my little brain never fully recovered from the loss of a primary adult in my life.
Now that I’m an adult I could never imagine having a child in the world and not be fighting tooth and nail to be apart of their life. He could have gone to court, he could have sent presents or cards or literally anything. I didn’t start hearing from him til I was 14 and made my mom reach out because, in crappy teenager fashion I wanted another gift for my bday and thought it would be interesting to meet him. I wish I’d never connected with him because since then he’s intermittently messaged me on social media to talk and it’s never gone well. I wrote the below message to tell him once and for all how I really feel but my fiancé says he probably couldn’t handle it. That he might hurt himself. I spoke briefly with my half sister and she said he’s crying all the time. I don’t know what to do but apparently I didn’t think of a response quickly enough because he blocked me. He’s very emotionally immature and it’s all just a mess. So since I can’t send the message to him I’ll put it here and be done with it. Names changed for privacy.
“I’m sorry Dave but I just think it’s a case of too little, too late. My life is very full and I already have someone I consider my father who I wish happy Father’s Day to, every year. Even if I were looking for a father figure, I’ve tried talking to you and it’s never gone well. You’re demanding and very “my way or the highway”. You tried to tell me what I could and could not post on Facebook when I was in college, and more recently you threw a tantrum when I said I’d like to text you for a while before we have a phone call. Now you’ve been sending me these emotionally charged messages about how you’re proud of me even though I don’t care about you, and how you hope for a Father’s Day message but don’t expect it. It’s just not reasonable for you to put these feelings you’re having at my door. I’m sorry you’re struggling with the consequences of your past choices but you didn’t choose to be a part of my life when I was a child. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t choose to be a part of yours. I think you should focus on being the best father you can be for Kae. Truly I wish you the best but I think it makes more sense for you to put everything you’ve got into healing things with her and being there for her as much as you’re able. You’ve made this bed, so make the best of it and love the daughter who’s seeking the connection and wants to be a part of your life.”
TLDR: my bio dad is trying to work on our relationship
I hate getting mistaken for a child
I'm 24 (F). I'm out of college a year working as a graduate engineer. I'm 5'3 and I really often get mistaken for being 16/17 (one time 12).
I go out to sites, shadowing another engineer as I'm learning, and everyone asks me if I'm on work experience. I get ID'd all the time. People sometimes talk to me like I'm a child. I feel like I'm often treated as small and fragile.
I no longer live at home, I'm financially independent from my parents, I have my own car, a whole degree, manage everything for myself, competently complete tasks, and still get treated like a child.
I know it'll be a compliment when I'm older. Feels like it holds me back sometimes. I wish I looked older.
https://redd.it/1urnbp0
@trueoffmychest
I wish I wasn't born, unless I'm to be born healthy to a rich family.
Most of my childhood and teenhood was spent studying to have good grades, to become a nurse and escape my shithole country. I struggled in college, there were times when my family had nothing to eat but rice and salt.
I did finish my degree and became a nurse in a big hospital but I hated it very much. I eventually left my shithole country for Europe, where I was paid 10x my previous salary while the workload and conditions were 10x better. Still I hated it. There were multiple reasons why, but most of it is being overworked, being splashed with various bodily while not being respected, and being yelled at almost every day.
I quit nursing to study CS and become a Software Engineer, but now I can't find work. I feel like I'd rather die than be a nurse again, but I also hate the idea of working in retail or most other jobs.
I actually hate working and feel like I'd rather not be born than live this life where I have to work most of my waking hours, just to survive. Then I'd have to do that until retirement age, which I don't even know if I'd be alive by then.
https://redd.it/1urjkp3
@trueoffmychest
The amount of attention I get in public makes me anxious
I know this is going to sound pretentious or like I’m full of myself, and that’s honestly why I’ve never really said it out loud.
I’m a pretty attractive girl with a fairly distinctive look, and people stare. Not just a quick glance, I mean double takes, people turning their heads after I’ve already walked past, or immediately looking at me when I walk into a room. It’s happened for so long that I know I’m not imagining it.
What made me realize it wasn’t just in my head is that people around me have commented on it too. Friends have pointed it out, even some of my guy friends, and my boyfriend has said things like, “Whenever I walk with you, people are always looking at you.” I never really know what to say when they bring it up, I just laugh.
The weird thing is, people assume that kind of attention must feel amazing all the time. Most of the time it does make me feel confident. But at the same time, it also makes me incredibly anxious. It’s a mix of both at most times.
Sometimes the attention isn’t even positive. People have made assumptions about my ethnicity or where I’m from based on how I look, and that’s uncomfortable too.
Whenever I know people are looking at me, I become hyper-aware of every little thing I do. I start wondering if I’m walking weird, if my face looks awkward, if everyone’s judging me even if they’re probably not. Sometimes I get so nervous that my hands shake a little, especially if I haven’t eaten much that day. It’s just so awkward to feel that way and embarrassing sometimes, unless I’m with people who genuinely make me feel confident and comfortable.
I almost feel guilty talking about it because I know there are people who wish they got more attention, and I don’t want this to come across as a humble brag. But attention isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes I just want to exist without feeling like I’m being watched.
I know some people will probably read this and think I’m just assuming people stare because I think I’m good-looking. Maybe there are plenty of other reasons people look. I’m only describing what I’ve experienced and how it affects me.
I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest because I don’t really have anyone I can say this to without sounding conceited.
https://redd.it/1uri24e
@trueoffmychest
My tiny human
Many of you post here to various people in your lives,
My post today is a letter to a child I will never know. I can’t share this with anyone in my life and saying it out loud destroys me.
You don’t exist in this world and I never got to experience anything about you, I will never carry you, I will never hold you, feel you, smell you, feed you, clothe you, bathe you, teach you, watch you grow, wipe your tears, kiss your feet, watch you sleep, I will never know your love.
For as long as I have known and can remember, I have wished and prayed for you.
I was a little girl who played with dolls and sat at her mother’s dressing table wishing that one day I could be someone’s mom.
The idea of your possible existence is what got me through my darkest and lowest days.
I would lay in bed at night and dream of who was yet to come.
You were my hope, you were my dream.
You’re not real, and in this life you won’t ever be.
There is a love inside me for you and there is nothing in this world that I would have cherished as much as you.
In my heart you are real, in my soul you are real, in my dreams I see you sometimes and in my prayers you are real.
But in this world you’re not, and I’m sorry.
I would have loved you so much. I’m sorry that you won’t be real in this world. You are in my mind and soul and tears. I love you.
https://redd.it/1urcbfz
@trueoffmychest
My husband deserves better
I have been married for 20 years, we have 5 kids aged 19 to 5, 3 bigs 2 littles. I grew up in a very abusive and toxic split home, in one I was verbally, sexually and psychologically abused. In the other home I was neglected and despised for existing. When I met my husband he was the first person to really love me, unconditionally. I have loved him in return with my whole self and that hasn't changed. The problem is my health. Years of abuse has caused my body to have many issues. I have been diagnosed with cptsd, bi polar, migraines, anemia (severe enough to require multiple iron infusions that stem the tide), and recently things have gotten worse.
2 years ago, I got cancer, it was stage 1 and resolved through surgery and several lymph nodes being removed. Since then I have developed a heart condition, well the nerves around my heart are fried and don't regulate it so I am on some pretty heavy duty beta blockers. Now my lungs are having major issues where I can barely walk to the bathroom without wheezing and having chest pains, dizziness and muscle weakness. We have been to 8 specialists in the last 2 years, we have no idea what's wrong with me, but that's not the problem.
The problem is I am bed bound. I can not do anything. I can barely walk 5 steps before I'm short of breath. So that means my husband has to work his job, take care of the kids, the cooking, the yard work, literally everything. If I get stressed out, because of my heart issue, I get major chest pains and we worry there could be permanent damage.
He is a literal saint. He tells me all the time how much he appreciates what I can do, which is basically just emotionally support him (and sexually I just need an inhaler lol... worth it). I keep thinking he will be better off without me, without one more person to take care of. I know its not actually true because grieving me would just add a whole mountain on his shoulders and thats not fair, but this man has carried me for 20 years. Through rough pregnancies where I almost died from preeclampsia. Through my awful mom telling me her life would have been better if she had just aborted me like everyone wanted her to. Yes I know thats the main reason I feel this way, its hard to feel wanted when only 1 out of 4 parents (2 step parents) want you.
Because I'm bi polar sometimes I have this incredible energy and excitement and i have to just lay here, which throws me back into depression. He doesn't deserve any of this. He has never, in 20 years, made me feel unloved. I hate that I can't be the partner he needs. I hate that I can't cook his favorite comfort meals when he has a bad day at work. I hate that he's carrying it all on his own and all I can do is say thank you. It's not enough. He needs me to be more but I just can't. I physically actually can't.
https://redd.it/1ur92ua
@trueoffmychest
I’m so burnt out on dealing with entitled boomers.
My boyfriend and I went out to lunch yesterday and while we were talking to the host about our table, a boomer walked in front of us and screamed “LASTNAME RESERVATION FOR 1:30”. Cutting off both us and the host.
At my own job, I’m constantly having to deal with wealthy older people having tantrums about everything. The lighting, the music, the temperature, the food, the wine selection. Nothing is ever good enough.
A few weeks ago a boomer lady that comes in every so often looked me up and down with a slack jaw then said “You aren’t as fat as you used to be.”
In the last year a handful of boomer drivers in my area (the population of my town is super old) have crashed into various businesses with their cars just by not paying attention to the road.
I can’t even go to the grocery store during the day because there are so many boomer meltdowns at any inconvenience and then I’m stuck waiting in the checkout line while the worker is getting screamed at, or I’m waiting in an aisle while the whole area I need to be is blocked with a cart and a person just standing there staring.
I’m starting to feel a ton of resentment toward older (usual wealthy) people because they are so out of touch, hoard resources and treat anyone under the age of 50 like they are stupid and their servants.
I know boomers aren’t a monolith, and my parents are boomers and they are kid respectful people, but damn, I’m getting so fatigued.
https://redd.it/1ur5ytt
@trueoffmychest